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Pointing North

7 Jul

Have you ever been lost? Have you ever taken a wrong turn, and found yourself somewhere you didn’t recognize? Have you ever walked a little too far, and missed the path you meant to take? We all get lost sometimes. It can be unsettling, and confusing. Getting lost is part of life. Nothing ever goes exactly as planned, and sometimes, in the twists and turns that happen, we lose our way. And before we know it, we’re far, far away from where we intended to go. We’re at a destination that seems foreign. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s not the end of the road.

There are a lot of influences on us every day. People who want us to do things a certain way, or be a certain way. Sometimes because of the situation we do as we’re asked, and if we do that enough we can forget where we’re going. We can forget who we really are. It’s possible to wake up one day, and realize that the life we’re living is nothing like the life we really want. It’s nowhere near where we really want to be. We took a turn, which lead to another turn, and another, and where we’ve ended up is not at all where we thought we were going.

If we determine that we are not on the right road, the only way to get to where we want to go is to stop, and reset our course. There is inside us inspiration, like a compass, that always points to the person we really are. It’s always there to guide us, but we have to listen. If all we can hear are the directions of those around us saying, “Go here,” or “Go there,” we won’t recognize our own compass telling us which way is right for us. But it’s always there to remind us. When we are ready to get to who we really are, and where we really want to be, we need to listen to it. We can always alter our course. We can always retrace our steps. Nothing is permanent, and everything can be changed. Change isn’t always easy, but if the change brings us back to the road we want to be on, it will be rewarding, and worth whatever it takes.

Today, if you’re feeling like you’re not where you really want to be, if your life isn’t on the road that will take you there, you can change your course, and begin again. You can choose a new direction. You deserve the life you want the most. You deserve every happiness. You can do this your way, and you can succeed. Today, hear your personal inspiration. Listen to your compass. If you’ve been lost, it will guide you back. You know the way back, you’ve just forgotten for a while. Today, listen and remember. And then, take the first step to getting there.

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That’s Mine

3 Jul

Sometimes because of something we care deeply about, we may state our case in forceful ways. We want to make a point, and we want to be clear. It’s good to clarify where we stand, but sometimes we may go too far. We become too strong in our statements, and instead of helping others understand our position, we tell them how it is. And when that happens, we sometimes offend them. Even if offense was never in our plan, it can happen. People are complicated, and everyone has a different level of tolerance for intensity. Some people translate it into conflict. Some people can manage a lot of heated discussion, and others shrink from it. Nobody is exactly like us, and we must remember that. What may seem fine to us, may be offensive to someone else. We can say that’s their issue, and it is. But if it alienates them from us, it’s also our issue.

There is a lot going on in our lives all the time. We are busy, we are often stressed, we are in a hurry, and sometimes we forget to be considerate, and careful with the feelings of others. We run over them with our ideas and decisions, and we don’t wait for their response. We get in, get it done, and get out. When we do that, things will get done, but we may also damage the relationships we need to go forward. It’s better to be the one that includes other ideas, and brings others into the discussion. It’s more effective to ask for input, as well as give our suggestions. Life is all about give AND take. If we’re so sure we’re right, so sure we have it figured out, so sure of ourselves, our attitude may restrict others from joining us. And it can cause problems. It’s better to express ourselves in ways where others feel welcome, and valued.

If we do something that hurts someone else, it belongs to us. If we feel passionately about something but express that passion in ways that offends others, it belongs to us. If we inadvertently hurt someone by something we’ve said or done, it belongs to us. There is no way to push the ownership of anything onto someone else if we’ve done it. We own it. It’s ours, and because it’s ours, we’re the only ones who can make it right. We’re the only ones who can correct the slight. We will answer for everything we do, so if we’ve hurt someone, we need to take the next step, and try to repair the damage.

Today if you have something important that you need to discuss, something you feel strongly about, remember the feelings of those you address. They may process things differently. They may need a little time. They may have suggestions for you. Everything you want to accomplish will be easier with others on your side. Let them in. Tell them how you feel, and let them join you. Be clear, and be strong, but also be open, patient, and welcoming. An army of one can only do the work of one. But an army of friends, can conquer anything.

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The Checkout Line

29 Jun

Unfortunately in our lives, there are some situations that make us uncomfortable, and sometimes there is no way to escape them. Maybe your boss wants to talk to you about an assignment you’ve been dreading, or your friend is having a bad day and dumping it all over you, or a family member is calling because you haven’t been available and they are upset, or a million other situations come up that are uncomfortable. Because we know these things are difficult we may try to dodge them. We may ignore the phone and not answer it, duck the other way down the hall when we see someone coming, or pretend we don’t see the person we are avoiding as we rush by. Those strategies work temporarily, but eventually we have to deal with whatever is waiting for us. We can try to check out, but that only delays the inevitable.

Checking out is something we all do from time to time. If we’re in an uncomfortable or boring conversation that seems never ending, we zone out. As my former boss used to say, “We go to our happy place.” I’m not sure if where we go is happy, but it is away from the situation we’re in, which may help for the moment. The benefit of doing this is that while we’re checked out of the present, we aren’t listening to whatever is making us uncomfortable. But the down side is that as long as we’re checked out, the situation cannot change. If we don’t address the issue, decide to talk openly about it, and share our perceptions and understanding, the situation will not change. And the best thing to do when we’re in an uncomfortable situation is try to change it to a more positive scenario. In order to do that, we have to be there. We have to be present.

Being present when we’re uncomfortable takes some effort. We don’t want to be there so it takes discipline, and it may take courage. We have to choose to be there. We have to recognize that is the only way out. It seems counter intuitive that the way out is to be in, but that’s how it works. We have to stay in the situation to change it. We have to check back in.

Today if you find yourself in a difficult conversation, or an uncomfortable situation, choose to be there for it. Listen completely, and calmly share your perceptions, and views. Make suggestions to change things so they work better for you. There is nothing so confusing or difficult that you can’t figure it out. But you have to be there to do that. Between stations, the radio only plays static. If we want music in our lives, we have to tune in. So plan to tune in. You don’t need any more static in your life. Check in, turn things around and harmony will return.

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Being a Magician

26 Jun

I recently heard a very distinguished, and professional man speak at a college graduation ceremony. He talked about his life, his accomplishments, and his motivations. He is very successful, and had a lot of stories about his failures, and how he overcame them to get where he is today. And he talked about his father. His father had been an architect – something he didn’t really choose for himself, but something his family wanted him to do. He was a good architect, and devoted to his work, but his entire life he always wanted to be a magician. He would perform magic tricks at every party he was invited to, or hosted. He told his son he was happiest when he was performing magic. The speaker talked about that, and how his father’s eyes would light up whenever he had the chance to perform even the smallest of tricks. Then he encouraged everyone in the audience to do what brought them joy instead of what was expected. “Become magicians!” he said.

As children, we all had dreams of what we would become when we grew up. We dreamed of being race car drivers, dare devils, astronauts, dancers, singers, movie stars, etc. But as we got older, and began to plan our lives, the parameters of those choices came into focus, and perhaps we chose something more settled, or more secure. Being settled, and secure are important, but if we are still dreaming of doing something else, we won’t find happiness. Being happy is something we have to give ourselves. Life won’t bring it to us. It’s our responsibility, so we should do the things that make us happy. Sometimes that means doing something different than we are doing now.

We can try to do anything we dream about. Anything we want to do is possible. The only person stopping us from changing our lives from doing what is expected, into lives we really want to live, is us. We deserve to live the lives we most want for ourselves. Are we doing what we want to do most? Are we happy doing the things we’re doing? If not, and we want to be magicians, we can be magicians. We can change course if we really want to. This life is a precious gift. Every day is precious. If we aren’t happy, we can change things. We can live a life that makes us happy.

Today if you’re feeling unhappy with the choices you’ve made, it’s not too late. You can change your course. You can change anything you like. It may take time, and planning, and you may have to rearrange things, but you can special order a better life for yourself. You can be happy. Once today is gone it will never come back. Make sure you spend it living it the way that makes you happiest. You deserve the very best. Make a plan to get it.

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Just Today

18 Jun

From time to time we all worry about things. Perhaps there’s been something on your mind, and it just won’t leave you alone. You can’t help it. You think about it constantly. You worry about what’s coming. You worry about what will happen tomorrow. We all have concerns sometimes, and they can make us worry – sometimes for good reason, sometimes unnecessarily. Whether the reason is good or not, worrying about what might happen doesn’t change anything. All it does is take us out of the present. We can’t fully live the day we’re in if we’re worrying about a day to come.

Each day we have on earth is a blessing. We take them for granted, and sometimes just go through the motions, but each day is a blessing. We often realize what an enormous blessing they are when they are suddenly threatened. Something happens where we understand we might not have tomorrow. We may get sick, a friend may die, or there may be a disaster that wakes us up, and makes us realize how lucky we are to have today. Today is the only day we can live. We can’t live tomorrow yet – it hasn’t arrived. Yesterday is gone, and nothing can be done to take us back to it. So we have just this one day. And if we spend it worrying about what tomorrow will bring, we will have wasted it.

We are powerful, and capable beings. We can do a lot when we want to. But most of us cannot read the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even five minutes from now. We are living now – not later. What will come to us after this is out of our control. So how can we manage something that is worrisome? A good way to let the worry go is to do something about what’s going on in our lives today. There is something we can take care of today, there is something we can work on today, and there is something we can manage today. While we’re working on today, we won’t have time to worry about tomorrow. We are managing our lives as they roll forward. Tomorrow will get here when it gets here. What comes will come. And whatever it is, we will face it then.

If you’re worried, and having trouble letting it go, do something that is important today. Work hard. Get busy living today. You’ll get things done, your mind will be focused on something productive, and you will forget to worry. Tomorrow you will handle whatever comes. You are perfectly capable of handling it – tomorrow. Today is all that concerns you now. One day at a time is all we have. Live your life that way. Live today. It’s a great day to be alive.

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