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Belonging

21 Sep

There is an elderly couple in my neighborhood that walk together every day.  When they go out they both wear gloves and carry plastic grocery sacks with them.  As they walk along, they pick up any litter they see.  The neighborhood is in good repair and most people take care of their property but there is still some litter blown around and they take it upon themselves each day to pick it up.  They are part of our community and this is their way of helping out.  Community is something most of us appreciate but seems to be getting lost in this day of technical overload.  It’s the feeling that we belong to a group where we know one another, and look out for one another.  More and more it seems people are forgetting to converse with their neighbors, get to know those around them, and build a sense of community.  A lot of us are stuck on our smartphones or computers and neglect personal interaction.  But personal interaction is important.  We all want to feel like we belong, and the only way that can happen is if we look up, and speak up.

There is great worth in getting to know those who live and work around us.  If we take the time to build relationships with them, they become our friends and are no longer strangers.  Then if something happens that affects us, we can support one another, help one another, and be there when needed.  Working together toward a common goal can help build those relationships.  If we get involved and extend ourselves to help out with regional and area projects, we’ll have the opportunity to meet others who are joining in.  The more people we meet around us, the more we build relationships, and the more sense of belonging we’ll feel.

There is a saying that no man is an island.  It’s true.  None of us is alone throughout our entire existence.  People come and go around us, and if we take the time to interact with them, say hello, and get to know them, we will feel more connected.  When we feel more connected our sense of belonging increases.  Of course, if want to we can certainly keep to ourselves, look down when we pass others, look away when someone looks at us, and keep our focus just on our own lives.  But if we do that we miss the great opportunity to share who we are with those around us.  We all have personal gifts, and special behavior traits unique to each of us.  Those gifts and traits can embellish the lives of those around us.  Even on our worst day, if someone smiles and says hello, we are lifted.  And we can offer the same to others.  We’re all in this together.  It’s a great blessing to share ourselves and allow others into our lives.

Today if you’ve been focusing on yourself and your life, try to remember those around you.  You have a lot to offer, and your smile and simple “hello” may lift someone else’s day, and open the door to a new relationship.  Take the time to get to know those you see regularly, and extend yourself to build those relationships.  It’s better to be surrounded by friends than strangers.  You have the power to make that happen.  Share yourself with those around you.  You have a lot to offer and they’ll be happy to know you.  Make it point to belong and include others in your life.

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Learning to Tuck

18 Sep

We have a lot on our minds every day.  When complications arise, we have even more to address, and it can be overwhelming.  Since we can’t do everything at once, it’s sometimes hard to address everything right away.  We may need to prioritize what we can handle at the moment, and tuck the other issues away until later.  There is sometimes the feeling that we have to do everything right away, or we aren’t doing enough, but that isn’t true.  It is proactive to manage our responsibilities and issues by taking care of the most important things now, and waiting to address the others until we have the appropriate time to manage them.  We are in charge of our lives, and we know what we can manage.  It’s wise to tuck the things that can wait aside until later.

What is the most important thing we must accomplish today?  If we think about that each morning before we start, and identify what we most need to get done, we are more likely to accomplish it.  In the busy responsibilities of daily life, our time can get away from us.  We may get carried away by additional tasks we hadn’t planned on, sometimes things go wrong that hold us up, and there may be complications caused by others.  Add to those the unexpected things that seem to always come up, and our days can get away from us.  If we just take things as they come, there’s a possibility we won’t complete what we need to, and feel disappointed at the end of the day.  But if we have identified what is most important for the day, we can focus on accomplishing it and have a better chance of success.

Tucking things away that can be put aside for a while is a useful tool, but we must ensure we actually go back and address them.  Some people make lists to remind them of things they need to do, some people put reminders in their smart phones or computer, and some people put sticky reminders out where they will see them.  If we are lucky enough to have an assistant, they may remind us of our pending tasks.  Whatever works most easily for us is what we should use.  Tucking things away doesn’t mean forgetting about them.  It just means delaying them for a time.  When we have the time, we need to address them and make sure we are timely in taking care of them.  If we do that, we’ll feel in control of our lives, and happy with our success.

Today if you are overwhelmed with things that need to be done, take a moment and determine what is the most important thing on the list.  Focus on that and tuck the other things away for a time.  You can accomplish a lot if you prioritize your concerns and take each as you can.  You are capable of managing your time and getting all your important tasks completed.  Use wisdom and remember Rome wasn’t built in a day.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  Plan your work, and then work your plan.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

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Power of Soft

17 Sep

When we have disagreements with others, we can choose to try and keep the conversation calm or we can escalate it. If we’re angry and feel we’re being attacked, we may decide we don’t care and jump in with both feet. It’s easy to react instead of respond calmly. If we’re being yelled at, and we yell back generally things will get worse. And when we’re angry sometimes we don’t care if things worsen. But if our relationship is important to us, we might consider going another way. If we do something to deescalate the issue, we have a better chance of reaching resolution without causing more problems. It is said that a soft voice turns away anger, and that’s often true. When people are angry and upset, they tend to raise their voices. If we return their loud statements with a soft response it changes the dynamic of the exchange. It will be unexpected, and often they will lower their voice as well. Even if they aren’t yelling but are saying unfavorable and contentious things, responding with a soft voice will often keep the situation from intensifying.

Some people are loud by nature. They say things with determination and conviction. They are neither demure nor reserved, and sometimes because of the volume of their voices we may misinterpret their interactions with us. A loud voice doesn’t always mean there is a problem. But if there is an issue, responding with a soft voice when talking to them will get their attention. And when we get their attention, we have the opportunity to resolve any issue more effectively. When we respond quietly in times of conflict, people lean in, and listen. It stops even the most determined and angry, and changes the tone of the interaction.

When we’re angry and upset, sometimes instead of being calm and taking time to think through the issue, we might lash out. We may blast the person we feel caused the problem and let them know, in no uncertain terms, how we feel. When we do that we might feel better, but it rarely helps to solve the problem. If we wait, and take just a moment to collect our thoughts and think about the whole situation before we talk to them, and then use a soft voice, we have a better chance of finding a resolution without making the problem worse. It takes self-control and patience to wait, but we are all capable of handling conflict better, and managing our anger more effectively. Think about using a soft voice when you confront someone you’re angry with. It will calm you down and instead of defending themselves after feeling attacked, they will be able to respond and explain things more clearly.

Today if you are angrily confronted by someone else, try to respond using a soft voice. Be calm and clear, and quietly answer their concerns. You will be in control of the situation and yourself, and you’ll feel more confident and strong. Listen to their complaints and quietly answer their questions. It will diminish the conflict, and help resolve the issue. You can handle any situation that comes up today with a soft voice and quiet demeanor. You will prevail by being in control, and your day will be better and easier because of it.

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Where We Live

14 Sep

Everybody knows they should take care of themselves. We hear the good advice all the time– eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep – but sometimes it gets lost in the shuffle. We’re busy and finding time to take care of ourselves isn’t always a priority. We want to eat right but end up grabbing something on the go between appointments.  We know we should exercise but getting to the gym or even out for a walk sometimes doesn’t make it onto our day planner. And sleep happens when we finally get to bed – often too late. The important needs for good health are always there in the backs of our minds, but we’re focused on other things and those things take all our attention and energy. Time goes by and even if we’ve made the decision to do better, our best intentions can get lost.

Each day we’re alive is a blessing. We get to share who we are with the world and be a part of the human experience. We get to learn things, meet people, go places, and accomplish our goals. We take it for granted that tomorrow will come and we’ll be fine. But sometimes things go wrong, and we get sick. Or we have a frightening experience that shakes us out of our apathy regarding our physical forms. Maybe we have an unexpected health scare, or maybe we finally step on the scale and see a number we can’t believe, or maybe someone close to us dies suddenly. When these things happen, we tend to stop and take stock. If we realize we haven’t done our part to be strong, and if we’re wise, we’ll adjust our lives to make good health a priority.

We live in a resilient, but fragile human body. Since science hasn’t yet figured out how to transfer us into an artificial existence, if our bodies fail, we can’t leave them behind and enter another physical form. If they fail, we fail. We don’t have anywhere else to go. Given that reality, if we want to be here as long as we can, we need to take care of things. Nobody can take care of our physical health but us. Our doctors, our friends, and our families may lecture us about taking care of ourselves, but we are the only ones who can do it. When we decide we want to change and be more proactive, we need to make it important in our lives. It’s not a hard decision to make, but it requires diligence, and attention to hold onto. We’re all busy. We have a lot on our minds. We all have a lot to do, but if we don’t make ourselves a priority, none of it matters. Once our bodies die, all the tasks in our pending box will be inconsequential.

Today if you haven’t been paying attention to your physical needs, think about how you can begin to take better care to become your personal best. You don’t have to run a marathon, you don’t have to starve yourself, and you don’t have to go to bed with the children. But there are things you can do to improve your health and become stronger. You are a gift to the world. Your influence is important and needs to be here as long as possible.  Do everything you can to make that happen. You’ll feel better, you’ll be happier, and you’ll be glad you did.

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More Than One Way

11 Sep

There are a lot of different ways to look at things.  Some people see a situation one way, others may see it completely differently.  It doesn’t mean either interpretation is wrong, but everything we see and do is colored by our perspectives and our experiences.  When we are looking for solutions to problems there are some who feel there is only one right way to solve it.  It’s hard to convince them there isn’t a paved road to their particular solution, and it can cause some conflict.  But of course, there is rarely only one solution to any problem we face.  More often there are several scenarios that will address the issue and each has its merit.  It’s important to remember that, especially during times when we feel strongly that we have the answer.

No matter where we want to go, there is more than one route and more than one mode of transportation to get us there.  We could drive, we could fly, we could walk or we could ride.  There are main highways, direct routes, back roads, detours, and endless differences in how we get to the destination.  But eventually they will all take us where we want to go.  The scenery may differ, it may take various amounts of time to travel, and our experiences while we’re in transit will be different.  But eventually we will arrive at the destination no matter how we choose to get there, or what route we take.  We understand this when we think about actually going places, but understanding it when we’re solving problems is a little different.

We all feel strongly about certain things.  Some of us take a wide view of things and are laid back with details.  Others of us are precise and prefer things to be planned exactly and predictably.  Neither method is right or wrong.  It’s just a difference in style.  When we have a problem we need to solve and others are involved, if we are strongly convinced that our method is the one true answer, it will be difficult for us to hear other ideas.  But other ideas have value, and there is much to be learned by hearing them, and understanding them.  The best solutions are found when several ideas are considered.  If we focus just on our solution and don’t hear anything else, we miss the opportunity to possibly discover something better.  We all want the best solutions, and hearing other perspectives often leads us to them.

Today if you’re working on a solution to a problem and you are sure you have the best answer, take a minute to explore other possibilities.  Listen to the other ideas presented and be open to seeing how they could work.  Look around and evaluate all the possibilities.  You have great ideas, but so do others.  Be open to them.  You want the very best solution, and that often comes from several sources.  Be creative, and embrace the possibilities.  You might discover that the perfect solution is something different than you first imagined.

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