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Trains

16 Oct

Have you ever been in hurry to get somewhere and been stopped by a train?  Maybe you were stressed, running late, and then suddenly there was a train blocking your progress.  A train.  And not a short one either, but a train pulling 50 cars on it.  You couldn’t make it go faster, and you couldn’t cut in front of it, so you had to wait.  Maybe you sat there fuming, frustrated, and maddened that you had to sit when you had so much to get done.  But trains happen, and when they do, we have to wait.  When we’re in a hurry and are trying to catch up, having our progress stopped is discouraging, and can really knock the wind out of our sails.  It might be a train, but often it’s because of a decision someone else has made that prevents us from going forward.  When our hands are tied, and we have to wait, we could get upset or we could use the time more wisely.  We could take the extra time to think.

Thinking about what we’re doing is an excellent idea.  Some decisions pop into our heads with little thought or consideration.  Generally they are decisions without a significant consequence and mean little to our overall progression.  But for the decisions that impact our lives, our livelihoods, our families, or our futures, we need to think carefully before we act.  If we’ve made an important decision, and begin to implement it only to be stopped for reasons we can’t control, it’s a good time to re-evaluate what we’ve decided, and review our choices going forward.  Sometimes a second look brings clarification and a revised plan.  Sometimes the break changes our focus altogether.  The important thing is to use the time we’re stuck to ponder our way forward.  Instead of getting angry when we have to wait, we can look at it as a time out to reflect on our chosen path.

There are countless variables in every decision we make.  There is timing to be considered, the feelings of others, our personal comfort, and the destination we are seeking.  We sometimes make excellent decisions but they come at the wrong time in our lives and we have to rethink them.  Or we make what we believe is the best decision but once we begin going forward discover a lot of complications we hadn’t planned on.  Life is unpredictable, and no matter what we choose, there is a lot we can’t control.  We can’t control the choices of others, we can’t control unexpected developments, and usually, we can’t control trains.  Whether it’s a real train or a symbolic one, when they come into our lives, we have to wait.  We can make the wait count by using it to confirm our choices, and review our approach.  If we take the time and use it wisely, we may be surprised by what we find.

Today if you’re stuck and waiting because of something you can’t control, think about the path you’ve chosen and evaluate the decision again.  Is there a way to make it go more smoothly?  Is there something you can do that you didn’t see before?  Think about your next move and make it as productive as possible.  You’ve already determined what you want, and you are capable of making it happen.  Think clearly about your next step and when the time is right, take it.  You know where you’re going, and success is just around the corner.

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Making Room

10 Oct

I once read a story about a man whose wife gave him a new winter coat every Christmas.  It wasn’t that she couldn’t think of anything else to give him or that he wanted a new coat every year.  It was because he needed a new one every Christmas.  You see, he had decided when he was younger that because he had enough to care for himself and his family, he wanted to do something for someone less fortunate.  So, every Christmas he invited a local impoverished man to join his family for Christmas dinner.  Sometimes they were homeless, sometimes not, but they never had sufficient for their needs.  They lived in a northern location, and the winters were often very cold.  During the Christmas celebration the guest was included in every conversation and activity, and made to feel welcome.  Once the meal ended and before the guest would leave, the host would present him with his warm winter coat.  There were often tears of gratitude and amazement at the man’s generosity.  The coat was the most wonderful gift that could be given in a bitterly cold winter, and as the guest would leave hugs and words of encouragement would be exchanged.  Afterward, the man’s wife would present him with her Christmas present of a new winter coat for the coming year.

Extending ourselves and making room for others in our lives is perhaps the most precious gift we can give.  It requires us to look outside ourselves, and see those around us.  It doesn’t always have to be gift, it doesn’t have to be money, it may just be time.  Perhaps just saying hello, listening, and being a friend is all that’s needed.  Sometimes we might help out with something that is difficult.  Or we might offer to help with transportation for a meeting or appointment.  There are millions of people in the world, but there are times when we all feel isolated and alone.  If we can extend ourselves just a little to those around us, we may eliminate those feelings in a small way.  If we all worked together, the world would be a warmer and more welcoming place.

Making room in our lives isn’t hard, but it does take commitment.  Many of us have a little time we can spare, but even if time is limited, it doesn’t take much to say hello and ask how someone is doing.  Of course there are big, international projects we may get involved in if we like.  There is always a lot of need in the world.  But if those big projects aren’t possible, we can simply commit to being kind and welcoming to those around us. If we have possessions we no longer use, we could offer them to someone who needs them.  We might offer our homes to those who need a place to stay, food to those who are hungry, or a smile to those who are sad.  If we make it a priority to extend ourselves, we can be a light in the darkness, and we can lift those around us.

Today as you do all the things you need to do, take a moment to look at those around you.  Is there some way you might offer something positive?  Is there some small favor you could do?  If there is, extend yourself in friendship and kindness.  Nobody likes feeling alone and sad.  You have the power to lift someone around you and be a light.  Today, offer your hand and your help.

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Running With Scissors

9 Oct

Everyone tries to make good decisions and do things that will bring them happiness and success. We work hard at what we want to accomplish and try to learn as we go. But sometimes we get a little sidetracked and do things that work against us. We might say something spiteful back to someone who has hurt our feelings, or take revenge on someone because of something they did to us. These responses do nothing positive for us, but at times it feels like they give us some satisfaction. Unfortunately, they don’t ever work in our favor and do nothing to move us forward. Instead of resolving a situation, if we do things like these oftentimes we end up escalating it. It’s like running with scissors. We might get to a destination faster but the risk of making things worse is real and present.

If we’ve been hurt and are angry, returning pain for pain is always an option. We can hit back, return nasty barbs, or do something else to even the score. Unfortunately if we take this route, often instead we just up the ante. And then we have to even the score again. If things continue to escalate, the situation can get out of hand and we lose control of the objective. In every conflict we have a choice. We can try to diminish it or we can make it worse. Making it worse is never in our best interest. If we make that our pattern, we may spend a lot of time wrestling with issues instead of solving them. But it’s not fair for us to be treated badly, and sometimes we feel like we have to do something to make things right. But making things right is rarely achieved when a contest of wills gets intense.

The only way to handle a situation when we’ve been hurt, or maligned, is to be in control. The best way to gain control is to return better behavior for the insult. If someone says we’re an idiot, we don’t have to agree, but we could quietly and politely say something to diffuse the situation. If we aren’t attacking in our response, the other party has nothing to rebut. It takes two to argue and if we lower the tension, the argument has a better chance of becoming a conversation. If someone says something that deeply hurts or ridicules us, we could simply thank them for their opinion and say nothing more. Many times when others attack us personally they expect a fight. They have volleyed the first serve over the net and are in control. We can take that control away from them by managing what happens next. It isn’t easy but we are capable of deflating the conflict by being polite, and calm. Most people who like to fight like to pick on others who will take the bait. We can determine not to take it. We can decide to take control instead. And if we do, we win.

Today if someone is baiting you into an argument, if you’ve been insulted or demeaned, you don’t have to enter the fight. You can take control of the situation be being calm and polite. No matter what happens you can return your best behavior. You can be better, and you can silence the conflict. You are strong and capable of making excellent choices. Today make the choice that puts you on top. That’s the best place to be, and is exactly where you belong.

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Same Time Same Place

6 Oct

There is a law of physics that states no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time. One will necessarily take the place of the other and push it away. Although we might recognize this as truth, there are times when we really want to do something, but at the same time are afraid to accomplish it. There is sometimes an internal struggle between truly wanting something and being afraid we can’t have it. We feel torn and conflicted, but the fact of the matter is, even though we believe we are thinking about both possibilities concurrently, one is overcoming the other. It is impossible to have faith and doubt at the same time. One will take the place of the other and determine our actions. If we struggle thinking about what we want, and do nothing, the fear is in control. But if we’re doing everything possible to make the change happen despite the fear, we are in control. If we want to find success in anything, the first step, the most important step, is to be in control.

We can make lots of changes in our lives. The small changes are easier to accomplish than the large ones, and it’s the big changes that impact us the most. It takes more effort to change something with a big impact on our lives, but the rewards of succeeding in making the change are great. If we want to change career fields to something completely different, it takes courage and faith to do what is needed to make the transition and be successful. If we want to make serious changes in our personal life, it takes determination and focus to make them happen. If we want to change our physical appearance it takes dedication and a strong will to endure what is needed. The biggest positive changes we make in our lives bring the biggest rewards. When we accomplish them we feel powerful and invincible. We did something really difficult and we succeeded. Our confidence will soar and we’ll be happy we persevered.

When we’re facing a decision to do something difficult, we may spend some time going back and forth weighing the costs and the options. We look at all the benefits to be gained by making the change, and what will happen if we did nothing. Once we decide we want to move forward and begin doing what is needed to begin the process of changing, we may have moments of doubt. We may be afraid we won’t succeed. Others may encourage us or they may say we’re crazy for trying. But it doesn’t matter what anyone says. What matters is what we want most. If this is what we want, we can push the doubts out of our minds and be confident. We can believe we can succeed and we can continue to push forward a little every day. If we have faith in ourselves, and if we keep going, we will be successful in whatever change we are seeking. We will overcome every obstacle, and we will win.

Today if you’re facing doubt over a decision you really want to achieve, push the doubt from your mind. Have faith. You have everything you need to succeed. You’ve already decided what you want. All you have to do is keep walking forward. You can overcome anything in the way, and you can climb any hill that lies ahead. You are strong and you will win. Keep your eyes on the goal. It’s closer than you think.

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Taking Time

4 Oct

We live in a hurry up world. No matter what we’re doing or where we’re going it seems everyone wants us to get something done quickly, or get somewhere in a hurry. We rush from task to task, sometimes barely taking time to think about what we’re doing. While we’re in such a hurry, sometimes before we finish the task we’re on, we’re already thinking about the next thing on the list we need to get done. Others expect a lot from us, and we push ourselves, and cut corners to make things go faster. It’s exhausting and at the end of the day we sometimes can’t remember exactly what we did until we pull our extensive lists out and take a look. This is not the best way to live our lives, but it is sometimes where we are. We get caught up in checking things off our list and don’t notice the day going by. But the day is surely going by, never to return. At midnight it will leave us. The days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years. And so it goes.

Although it’s important to be successful in getting things done that are important to us, sometimes we fill our days with tasks that don’t mean much in the long run. Menial chores that eat up our time, and distract us from our lives. We can find a better way to manage these things if we take some time to make a plan. Perhaps instead of running around every day trying to get a lot done, we could set some dedicated time aside one day a week to accomplish all the details that clutter up our lives. If we used that block of time only for accomplishing those tasks, don’t answer the phone, and don’t commit to anything else, we can free up the rest of the week for other things – like enjoying our lives. One thing is certain, there is plenty to fill our days and if we’re not careful, our tasks will control our lives. And when that happens we may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and burned out.

Taking a moment to plan will help us make time for the things that are most important. Time for ourselves, time for our friends and family, and time for rest. Taking time for ourselves helps us stay on track, and adjust our course to get to the destination we want most. Without planning, our days may end up being busy without end. We spend a lot of time in outward activities, and when we’re busy running around we don’t pay attention to what’s going on inside us. But if we take time to regroup and check in, time to listen to how we feel, and what we need, we’ll be more effective and happier. We are the most important people in our lives. We need to acknowledge that importance, and take care of ourselves. We can be in control of our time, our choices, and our responsibilities. Nobody can manage our time better than we can. And when we’re effective in that management we’ll get more done, and we’ll feel more peace in our lives. Taking care of ourselves and our needs is our personal responsibility, and is the most important thing we will do each day.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with all you have to get done, if you’re running around and rushing, and feel stressed, stop for moment. Just stop. Take a breath and think about how you could manage your time more effectively. Make a plan and then work it. You’ll feel more in control, more relaxed, and a lot happier. This life is yours. You can live it any way you choose. Today choose to live it in a way that brings you peace and joy. You deserve all the best of everything. Plan for it, and arrange your time to get it.

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