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Legacy

20 Feb

When we read about the legacies people leave behind when they pass away, they generally refer to monetary situations. Maybe they donated a large sum of money to a special charity, or left valuable property to family members. But a personal legacy is more than that. It doesn’t always involve things of monetary value. Our behavior can become our legacy. What we do while we’re alive, who we help, how we serve, and how we interact with others is the real legacy we leave behind. Money gets spent, property gets sold and after time people forget about it. But if we’ve touched other lives in positive ways, and made a personal impact it isn’t easily forgotten. When we think back over our lives we remember the times when we needed help and someone was there for us. We recall specific moments when we felt lost and someone reached out a hand to us. Those are the memories that never seem to fade. They are etched in our minds forever because we felt loved and cared for. If we live our lives in ways that extend love to others, we will change the world for good because we were here. It will never be forgotten, and although time will continue to move forward after we’re gone, the rippling effect of kindness will carry on forever.

It seems as time has passed we’ve become more callous, more selfish, and less sensitive to the needs of those around us. Our lives are more complicated now than ever before. People are busy and focused on their personal lives and sometimes don’t even look up when they pass us on the street. Smiling and saying hello has become a rare experience instead of the norm. We seem to always be rushing off to the next thing, and in a hurry to leave where we are. But when things go wrong and everything stops we see those around us, and notice what’s happening, and if we need help and someone is there for us we feel intense gratitude. Those moments are a reminder of who we are and how much we need each other. Even when we’re busy we can still take a moment to offer a smile, say hello, and lend a helping hand. It’s amazing how even small gestures of kindness can change a situation. If we keep our eyes open we will find countless ways to do small acts of kindness every day. And although they may seem small to us, they be an enormous help to those receiving them.

Life is complicated. We experience a lot of things as we go through the course of one day. We make dozens of decisions and often accomplish much. If we want to make a positive impact and leave a mark of kindness and support, we have to look up and outside ourselves. It’s so easy to be only focused on our own lives. We have a lot to take care of and responsibilities to attend to. But as we go along we are passing others who have just as much to manage. If we try we can be a blessing to them. We can help lift a grocery sack, open a door, pick up something that’s dropped, or take a moment to listen. It doesn’t take much time and if we tried every day to be just a little more helpful, kind, and supportive to others, over the course of our lives we would change the world. When we help someone it makes them feel cared for and they may then care for someone else. Like the never ending ripples in a pond, the kindness will expand. That’s a legacy to be proud of. We don’t need money, and we don’t need expensive possessions. We just need to be kind. It’s the very best thing we can do.

Today if you’ve been focused on all you have to do and haven’t noticed those around you, stop for a moment and look around. See if there is some way you can extend a small kindness. If you do that every day you will feel the glory that comes from goodness and you’ll leave a legacy behind that will never end. You have so much to give. You can change the world.

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Mother May I

19 Feb

When we were children as a way of protecting us from doing things beyond our ability to manage or that may hurt us, we were taught to ask for permission. Whenever we wanted to do something away from home, or anything different than the norm we were expected to ask first.  If we rebelled against that requirement and did something without asking, and it was something that should have been discussed prior, there were often unpleasant consequences to face afterward. And so we learned to ask or at least to make sure it was okay before proceeding. As we got older our lives became more independent and eventually we began to make decisions on our own. Permission is an agreement from someone in authority over us that we may do something we want to do. As adults, outside of work, or social situations where others may be impacted, we don’t need anyone’s permission to make our personal decisions. We are capable of choosing on our own.  The days of “Mother may I,” have passed.

Despite the fact that we are perfectly capable of managing our lives, we can get into situations with others where we feel we need to get their agreement in our personal decisions. Perhaps it’s a close friend who has a strong personality and wants to guide us. Perhaps the old patterns with our parents still linger. Perhaps it’s a relationship we value greatly and the other person wants control over or input into our decisions. There are lots of reasons we can feel we need to get permission or approval before going forward. But our lives belong to us and only us. We can make any personal decisions we want to and we don’t need anyone’s approval. We don’t have to tell anyone before we make a decision, even if it’s one we know others may not like. Our decisions are ours. We can make them on our own, be confident in our ability to choose well, and direct our lives accordingly.

People are complex. We have all kinds of emotions and feelings to contend with on a daily basis. Sometimes we may be fearful of doing something differently than what others may expect. That fear may prevent us from making decisions we really want to make. Or we might be unsure we can make a good decision without getting the approval of others first because we’ve always done that in the past. But we know how to make good decisions. We know how to weigh all the options and choose what’s best for us. Nobody really knows what’s best for us better than we do, not even those who love us. We are the only ones who know everything that’s going on inside and what we truly want. We know who we are and are able to make good, strong choices. If others disagree that will be their burden to carry. It is not our responsibility to ensure everyone is happy with the way we choose to live our lives. If we can remember that and trust in ourselves, we can go forward and make any decision we choose to with confidence. We can do anything. We just have to decide.

Today if you’ve been holding back on a personal decision because you know somebody won’t like it or won’t agree, if it’s important to you, go forward. You know what you need and what you want. There is nothing you can’t do. You are in charge of your life and can make it any way you want it. This is your day. Choose to make it completely yours.

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Photoshop

18 Feb

In today’s technical age there are all kinds of ways to make things seem different than they really are. Pictures can be altered to produce images that aren’t real or make the subject appear to be more perfect. These techniques are used constantly in advertising and the media has made them commonplace. When our lives aren’t going exactly the way we want them to, or we aren’t exactly where we want to be, we may wish we had something like that to make us appear different than we are. We might wish to appear taller, smarter, thinner, more attractive, more confident or a dozen other adjectives. But there is no way to “Photoshop” our lives to make them look the way we’d like them to. We are where we are, and all the pretending in the world won’t change anything. Even if we could use illusion and deception to make things look different, it can’t last forever. Eventually the curtain will fall and we’ll be exposed. But if we don’t like where we are, and if the situation we’re in isn’t working, there are things we can change. If we don’t like what we’re doing, we can stop doing it. We can make any decision we want to and adjust our lives. We probably can’t make ourselves taller but we can change a lot. We can do more than just look different on the outside. We can truly change any way we like.

It takes time to figure out what we want and where we want to go. While we’re finding our way, we may try on different things to see if we like them. Sometimes they’ll feel natural and fit where we’re headed, and other times they’ll fall away. But as we’re striving to find what we want, our lives are going by and we are expressing ourselves as we are. Sometimes those expressions aren’t exactly what we’d like. Maybe our temper needs to be tamed, or our language needs improvement, or we want to alter our appearance to better suit the desired destination. It takes time to change but we will accomplish it step by step. In the interim, we may feel unsettled and struggle to find what works best. However, even if we’re in transition we can be confident. If where we are isn’t exactly where we want to be we can continue going forward until we get there. Continuing to move forward is the key, and the confidence that comes from doing that will help us. We are fine as we are now even if it’s not where we want to be. We can manage today as it is, and each day we move forward will take us a little closer to our goal.

Sometimes the idea of changing can seem daunting and if we choose to, we may instead live our lives dishonestly. We may pretend to be someone we aren’t, say we believe things we don’t, and go along with others even when we don’t agree. But if we choose that option we can’t share our genuine unique influence. We all have special gifts to offer that nobody else can give. If we keep those gifts to ourselves and instead pretend to be something else, the world will miss the blessings we have to offer. We have the distinct privilege of making a difference because of who we are. We don’t have to use illusion and we don’t need “Photoshop” to help us. Who we really are can shine through and be a positive influence on the world. If we want to change, we can. Whatever we want to achieve, we can achieve. Wherever we want to go, we can get there. But until we do, we can genuinely be ourselves along the journey. Our contribution is valuable no matter where we are in our lives. We have a lot to offer, and the world wants to hear it.

Today if you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t, or if you’ve been trying to look different than you really are, let it go. You have so much to give and we all need your special influence. You are great just being you. If you want to change, you can. Until then, be the best you can be exactly as you are now.

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Recess

12 Feb

When we were children in school, and the day was marching along from one subject to another, the best part of the day for most of us was recess. It was a break from sitting still and listening, from answering questions, and trying to be quiet. We got to run outside in the fresh air, laugh and play with friends, make noise and move around as much as we wanted. When it was over and time to return to our classrooms, we felt refreshed and all the extra energy building up inside us was released. It was like a reset button to get us going again. As adults we may have forgotten about recess, but it’s still an effective way for us to refresh ourselves and get a little release from the stress and pressure of our everyday tasks. We can incorporate a little recess into our daily routines, go outside, take a walk, get something to drink or a snack, and enjoy a change of scenery. It need not take long to be effective. Just a few minutes away from our routine can refresh us and give us a boost. Even though we’re well past elementary school, recess can still have a place in our lives. If we take it every day, plan for it and enjoy it, it can be a valuable asset we give to ourselves. It can bring us new perspective and fresh ideas. Just like when we were kids, recess may reset our day and make us feel better.

Going outside for a short break of fresh air has all kinds of benefits. Some studies show that when we go outdoors, we have increased energy and a heightened sense of well-being. Stress can cause an elevation in blood pressure and heart rate, and increase muscle tension. Additionally it may suppress our immune systems and makes us more susceptible to illness and infection. Being outside, even for a short time, may reduce stress, making us feel better emotionally and physically. With all we have to do and the stress attached to it, taking a short recess may bring us all those benefits.

When we’re bogged down in the weeds of everything we’re trying to accomplish, sometimes we can only see what’s right in front of us. If we are intensely focused on our work we may not even look up for hours on end. Stopping for a few minutes and taking a break to go outside and take a short walk, and get a change in scenery can do wonders for our creative processes. We see things differently and even a few minutes away can make us think of things in a different way. New ideas may emerge and when we return, we may find we have answers to problems that before had confounded us. A short recess may recharge us and help us to move forward. It’s something that’s easy to forget but if we schedule it, and make time for it, it can have long range benefits. We don’t have to work constantly and if we take a short break from time to time, just to let our minds wander and look at something new, we might find our days moving forward more easily and with less effort. Recess was a great idea when we were children. It’s a great idea for us as adults too. We can take it, enjoy it, and make the most of it, and it will reduce stress, and increase our happiness.

Today if you’ve been working hard on something that has your complete attention, look up and take a break. Go outside and enjoy a short walk. Look around and let your mind wander. You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you’ll feel and when you return to your work, everything will be just a little easier. You do so much. You deserve to be comfortable and enjoy yourself. Take recess today.  You’ll love it!

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Next

6 Feb

Everything we do has an affect on something. Every decision we make takes us somewhere and every choice has a result. If we’re paying attention we can see where we’re going and if we stay on a certain road, where we’ll end up. But that attention can be distracted if we’re involved with someone we really like, or the road is very beautiful, or the promised destination is something we truly want. Distraction can make us oblivious to certain clues and cues, and we might find we end up somewhere that isn’t anything like the destination we thought we were traveling to. They say hindsight is 20-20 and that’s true, but it’s only true because we can’t possibly know what we don’t know. In the end it’s easy to see all the missed steps because we have more information. However, if we’re alert and allow ourselves to see things as they really are as we travel forward, we’ll be able to make better choices. People who want us to do things their way, or go where they think we should go may convince us by making things seem different than they really are. It may not be malicious, and they may think they know what’s best for us. But we know better than anyone where we should be, and if we look carefully, we’ll find our way there.

Every choice we make will bring us a result, either good or bad. Sometimes they are the results we’re seeking, and sometimes we have to try again. There are a lot of roads we can take, and some are very attractive. If we aren’t careful we may follow them without looking at where they will ultimately lead. For instance, if we meet someone we feel very attracted to we may plunge ahead without a second thought. They may seem to be everything we’ve been looking for, but as time passes we notice they don’t always follow through on what they say, and although they seem very sincere, they continually break their promises. If we get caught up in their charisma, and the charming promise of who they say they are, we may miss these important cues for a time. But in the end, truth always surfaces and if they are dishonest and insincere, eventually we’ll see it. If we’re very invested in the relationship when the truth comes out, it will be painful to redirect our course. It’s much easier to be willing to see everything openly at the beginning and make a positive decision starting out, than it is to fix a situation after problems are evident.

B always follows A. If we look at situations with a broad view and see where they’re headed, and allow ourselves to be objective instead of getting caught up in the image of what might be, we will better direct our course. We’ve all been swept away, and sometimes it doesn’t work out the way we thought it would. When someone wants something from us – our time, our effort, our affection, our love – they may paint the palette with the exact colors we need to see to follow along. We can be entranced, enchanted, and mesmerized, and if we are, we won’t see the situation objectively. But we can remember that B always follows A. One thing always leads to another, and if we pay attention we can see where we’re headed. We have the power to objectively and wisely make any decision, even one that is framed in illusion and promise. We can step back, clear away any curtains of influence, and see the whole situation objectively. Being proactive at the beginning will help us to go forward confidently and wisely.

Today if the road you’ve been on isn’t going where you thought it would, you can change your course. You are capable of making excellent decisions and if you need to change something, you can. Nobody’s life follows a perfectly straight line. Every detour teaches us something. You know where you want to go. Do what you need to get there. You’re in control. You can change direction and you will be successful.

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