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Owning the Future

1 Apr

Each day of our lives brings challenges and blessings.  We never know what will come and most of us try to do our best in every situation.  We live in the present and although we think about our futures and even plan for them, there is no way to tell how they will actually come to pass.  However, our decisions can impact what our futures look like.  Whatever roads we choose, wherever they lead, if we stay on them we have no choice but to arrive at their destination.  If we’re on a path that will take us to a place we don’t want to go, we can change our course.  If we do nothing, make no pro-active decisions but just let things roll out on their own, and allow others to decide where we’re headed, we may end up with a future that isn’t anything like the one we want.  We can’t control everything but if we do our best to direct our lives we have a better shot at finding happiness.  If we want to own our futures we have to pay attention.  We have make sure we’re going where we want to go and if not, change our direction.  The future will come no matter what we do.  But if we leave it to chance, we may not end up where we want to be.

Every choice has a result.  If we choose thoughtfully how we live our lives, the result will likely be what we’re hoping for.  But choosing to do nothing is a choice as well.  If we sit back and are careless about where we’re going, or too lazy to actually direct our lives, they will roll forward on their own.  Other people’s decisions will direct us one way or another, and instead of moving forward toward goals we want to achieve, we may drift one way, and then another, with no destination in mind.  The years will pass and if we continue, in time we may find ourselves somewhere we never imagined we’d end up.  But if we coast along, being blown here and there by things that happen and have no rudder to guide our ship, we have no direction.  It’s easy to coast along and let others make decisions for us, but that will never take us where we really want to go.

There are limitless ways to live our lives.  Some people are very active and ambitious, others are more laid back and easy going.  The versions and choices are endless.  But no matter what our personal styles are, it’s imperative that we live on purpose, aware of where we are, what we’re doing, and where we’re headed.  In our daily routines it’s easy to become complacent and just go through the motions.  Although every day is different, we pretty much know what to expect.  Unfortunately that can lead to laziness and a lack of initiative.   If we allow complacency to be the focus we will lose our direction. But our lives are ours to direct and we are the ones responsible for where they go.  If we want to own our futures, we have to be involved and actively engaged.  We are in control.  We can determine our direction, and we can succeed.

Today if you’ve been drifting along and taking a backseat in directing your life, pay attention.  This day will pass and where you go tomorrow is up to you.  Make the best decisions that will ensure you end up where you want to be.  You have everything you need to be happy.  Today, do what is needed to make sure you get there.

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Intervention

10 Mar

We’ve all heard of interventions, and maybe seen them on television or witnessed them in real life. They are done in an effort to change or improve a situation with someone, and are sometimes used to help people who struggle with addictions, or who have trouble facing the truth about something. Often they are initiated by family members or other loved ones worried about someone close to them. One of the first things done in this situation is telling the complete truth about what is happening. Seeing everything as it is begins the process of change. Sometimes we may have times in our lives when we need to make a drastic change or face something very difficult. We don’t need to go through a formal intervention to face our situation and move forward. If we are ready and really want to turn our lives we can facilitate the change ourselves. All we have to do is decide it’s time to begin. We know what’s best for us, and we know when we’re on the wrong road. We know when we’re not being honest with ourselves, and we know what we need to do. Once we decide to change, the process of turning can begin. It doesn’t matter how we do it or how long it takes. What’s important is that we’re ready to start.

Most of us are honest with those around us. We try to be fair, wait our turn in line, pay our bills on time, and want to be nice. But sometimes we aren’t as kind and honest with ourselves. We expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from others. We can be critical when we aren’t perfect, or feel shame when we don’t think we measure up. These kinds of personal judgments can prevent us from moving forward. We may even feel if we don’t do everything exactly right nobody will love us. We would never put those kinds of requirements on others. We allow for their mistakes, we don’t expect perfection, and we still care about them. But sometimes we have a double standard when it comes to expectations for ourselves. It’s important to remember that we are perfect just like we are now. We don’t have to be the best, the fastest, the tallest, the smartest, or the most successful to be loved. We have unique gifts and talents that nobody else possesses, and we already have a lot to offer. We are lovable just as we are.

Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy. If we want to really know who we are, we have to be willing to open all the secret doors we’ve kept shut, and pull the curtains away letting all the light shine through. We need to look at what we’re actually doing and decide if it’s what we really want. If it isn’t, we can make decisions that will put us on the road that will take us where we want to go. There isn’t anything we can’t change. But first we have to be willing to see things as they are. We can’t hide behind our families, our jobs, our money, our reputations, or anything else. We can have our own personal intervention, face our reality as it exists, and then decide how to go forward. We can have any kind of life we want but we won’t achieve anything we’re looking for if we look away from where we are. We can face our lives, decide what we want to change, and move forward.

Today if you feel you aren’t where you want to be, and you aren’t sure how to move forward, stop and take a good look at your life. See everything as it is, and decide where you want to go from here. There isn’t anything you can’t do. The road is already there waiting for you. Take the first step on the journey today. There is sunshine just ahead. You have everything you need to reach it.

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Hopeless

5 Mar

There are times in everyone’s life when we’ve wanted something badly and no matter what we’ve done or how we’ve tried, haven’t been able to achieve it. Maybe it’s taken a long time – years even – and still we feel no closer to the goal than when we started. We think about giving up but we want the dream and can’t imagine not succeeding. And so we continue. If we reach a point where we feel hopeless that we’ll ever get to the end of the road, we can feel like we’ve failed. But if we don’t want to stop trying, we can think about the situation a little differently. If we feel hopeless, we may need to stop for a moment and look at the situation objectively, and think about what we really want going forward. If we feel we’ve given all we can and need to stop pushing for now, we can do that. We can take a break from the struggle. We can rethink how we want to go forward. If we want to, we can decide to set the goal aside for a time and revisit it later when our perspective is fresh, and our lives are in a different place. Sometimes it’s all about timing. If we stop for a while, and do other things we may find a new way that will move us forward.

When we’re pushing hard for something, sometimes we lose our focus on everything else around us. We can no longer see the forest for all the trees in our way. It’s easy to get tunnel vision when we want something badly but seeing only the goal we’re seeking can keep us from seeing things around us that can move us closer to it. There may be someone standing right next to us with the answers we need but if we’re only looking ahead and not paying attention, they may walk right past us without us saying a word. There is nothing wrong with focusing on a goal, and we need to keep our eyes on where we want to go if we hope to get there. But while we’re looking forward, it’s important to look around as well. There are answers all around us. If we look up from time to time and engage those near us we may find exactly what we’re seeking.

It’s hard to be patient when we want something very badly. It’s hard to wait, and search, and press forward every day. After a time all the struggle and striving can take its toll on us. If we remember why we want to get to the goal and what it will mean to us when we achieve it, we can endure whatever comes. As we move forward we’re learning new things, and finding our way. If we need to, we can take time out to regroup, restore, or rethink. We don’t have to accomplish everything at once. We can get there taking it one step at a time. If we need to step away for a while, we can. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and sometimes a little distance can open our eyes to new direction. If we want to keep pressing forward, we can do that too. It’s all up to us and we can do whatever works best. Everyone does things their own way and whatever works best for us is perfect. It doesn’t matter if it looks different than someone else’s model, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. The important thing is doing what we want to do most.

Today if you’ve been working hard to achieve something and you feel overwhelmed or hopeless because you haven’t gotten to the goal, perhaps it’s time to take a break. You’ve come a long way already, and if you step back your vision may clear. When you start again you won’t have lost any ground. You have everything you need to win. You know what you want. You have more courage than you realize. There is nothing that will prevent you from succeeding. Nothing will stop you.

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One Word One Thought

27 Feb

Nobody’s life is perfect and sometimes things go wrong for all of us. When it’s very disappointing or upsetting, we may get angry. If that happens we don’t always keep the anger to ourselves and unfortunately instead let others share it. Perhaps we use offensive words to express how we feel that aren’t part of our every day speech. Or we snap at others who may or may not have had anything to do with our problem. We’re only human and there are times when we aren’t at our best. It happens. If others experience our outburst they may decide out of frustration to return it for one of their own, and then the whole thing can get out of hand. Once things have escalated it’s hard to rein them back in. Feelings can get hurt, and relationships can be bruised. After we’ve ended our furious outburst, and we’ve settled back down, we’ll have to apology for the damage we’ve done, and try to make things right.

Anger can be a very destructive emotion. We all feel it from time to time, but the way we express it is different for everyone. When we’re children we may cry or scream, or kick our feet and stomp off, but as we become adults we must find other ways to deal with it. Some people point their anger inward and manifest specific behaviors to cope. Perhaps they overeat, or can’t sleep, or they close themselves off and hide until they feel better. Compromising ourselves to keep anger hidden away doesn’t help us deal with it, and sometimes the behaviors we embrace while we’re coping make the situation worse in the end. Others of us express our anger outwardly. We take it out on those around us spreading collateral damage everywhere we turn. We say things we don’t mean, and lash out at whomever comes close. Unfortunately those behaviors can damage our relationships and if they are chronic, can ruin them. Learning to deal effectively with anger takes time and practice. It doesn’t just happen the first time we get mad. We have to learn how to control our responses in ways that help us resolve our anger, instead of making it worse.

If someone near us is angry and acting out, instead of jumping into the fray, we can instead offer a word of encouragement. If we do, the anger may lose its impact and suddenly emotions may turn. It’s said that a kind word can turn away wrath – and it’s true. If someone near us is angry and acting out, one kind word from us may change everything. It doesn’t take a lot of effort but it does take self control and thought. We are capable of both. If we’re the angry one lashing out at those around us, we can stop for just a moment, take a breath, and think of one good thing. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, like world peace, it can be something small. Perhaps we had a delicious muffin for breakfast, or the sun is shining, or we really like the color of the shirt we’re wearing. If we can focus on one good thought for just a moment, everything can change. We can put things back into perspective and more effectively navigate our way through. A kind word, or a positive thought are powerful and can help us through difficult situations. Our relationships and interactions are important. When things go wrong, we can do something to preserve them. We can exercise self control and keep the situation for becoming destructive. One kind word or one good thought may be all it takes.

Today if you’re angry about something you can’t accept, stop for a moment and think about one good thing that’s happening right now. There is always something and when you find it, focus on it for a moment. You’ll feel better and you’ll see things more clearly. If someone near you is angry and lashing out, offer a kind word of encouragement to let them know you care. We are all capable of more than we realize. We can do anything. We can do our part to bring harmony back into our lives when trouble is at the door.

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Low Tide

23 Feb

There are a lot of distractions in life. We are busy and there is a lot going on all the time. When we’re rushing around and have much to accomplish sometimes our focus can get away from us as we hurry to the next item on the list. If we aren’t living where we are, and in our heads have already moved on to the next stop, we can’t see what’s in front of us. When that happens, we may do something we don’t mean to because we aren’t paying attention to where we are. Maybe we drive through a red light, or forget the one important appointment we didn’t want to miss, or in our rush neglect someone we meant to pick up. We may even get so caught up we completely lose track of where we’re going. It’s like docking a boat on the shore and rushing to explore forgetting the time only to come back and find the tide has gone out and our boat is sitting on sand. What do we do now? Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. We can try to fix them and if our boat is sitting in the sand we can figure out how to get it back into the water. It might not be easy, and it’ll probably take more time than we planned but it can be done. However it’s a lot easier to plan ahead and carefully pay attention than it is to clean things up after they’ve gone wrong.

Life would be so much easier if all we had to do was get from point A to point B, and there was a perfectly straight, paved road to take us there. But we don’t live in dreamland, we live in the real world where there are phones ringing, people pressing for our time, too many things to do, and traffic. Because there are so many things going on if we want to keep our boats in the water, we have to pay attention. We can get anywhere we need to be and do anything we need to do. But we may not succeed if we’re thinking about the next thing on the list instead of what we need to do now. Learning to live in the moment is imperative to success. Perhaps you’ve known someone who talks about what they’re going to do after this happens or that happens, and are always living in the future. We do the same thing when we’re thinking about what’s coming next instead of what we’re doing now. It’s an easy habit to fall into when we’ve got a lot to do. But we can discipline ourselves enough to keep our minds in the present situation. And if we do we’ll accomplish our tasks more effectively and efficiently because they will be our focus.

Some people are lucky enough to have a staff. Maybe they have a personal assistant to take care of all the annoying time consuming errands that must be accomplished, or they have a driver who can get them where they need to be while they relax and enjoy the ride. But most of us don’t have those extravagances and it’s up to us to do everything on our own. We can do anything that is required if we plan carefully and pay attention. If we make a plan when we’re busy and then carefully work it, we’ll be more successful than if we just let things roll forward one after the other. We need to be in the moment and keep our eyes open. And if we master those skills we’ll find that not only do we get everything done and keep our boats floating happily in the surf, but we’ll be happier and less stressed as the day goes by.

Today if you have a lot to do and you feel overwhelmed and distracted, stop and take a moment to plan your way forward. Take each task as it comes and focus on completing it. Then move on to the next. Before you know it you’ll have completed a successful day and be happy with your accomplishments. You are capable of so much. You can do anything and you can do it well. Plan ahead, keep your eyes focused, and you’ll succeed.

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