Archive | January, 2016

Changing Directions

6 Jan

Being in control of our lives is something most of us strive for. We want to make our own decisions, and live the way that makes us feel happiest and most authentic to who we really are. We have a lot of connections with those around us and sometimes we find that although our relationships start out with a dynamic of give and take, sometimes they change and we feel we are giving more than we are comfortable with. If that happens, we may feel we’ve lost some control over our lives and it can be uncomfortable. If the relationship is important to us we may be concerned about trying to change it or even discussing the issue openly. But just because we may need to modify something in the situation, doesn’t necessarily mean we must abandon it. Being in control of our lives doesn’t always mean we have to stop what we’re doing. Sometimes it just means we have change direction.

Interpersonal relationships are made up of people, and people are complicated. We have all kinds of ideas, emotions, plans and dreams constantly rolling around in our heads. Those complications can make even small adjustments seem bigger than they really are. If we’ve decided our life needs to go a specific way and are adamant about those parameters, relationships may become difficult for us. There is not one true way to live a life happily or successfully. There are limitless varieties, each worth as much as the one next to it. If we decide there is only one way to do things, it may be difficult for us to give in our relationships. Success with others is often directly related to our ability to compromise. After all, the other person’s ideas, emotions, plans and dreams are every bit as valuable and worthwhile as our own, even if they are very different. It’s important to remember that. We all want to feel cared for, respected, and have our ideals honored. Nobody wants to be in a situation where they must do everything somebody else’s way.  There must be both give and take if we want to succeed.

It’s fair to ask for what we want and what we need in our lives. It’s appropriate to make adjustments when we feel those parameters aren’t being met. We can modify our relationships and still succeed at them. We are entitled to live our lives in ways that make us comfortable and if we’re giving too much away, if we aren’t being valued, if we’re being ignored, or if we feel uncomfortable, we can make whatever changes are necessary to create a better situation. Sometimes if the other person is unwilling to change and we are struggling, or if they refuse to compromise, the relationship may fail. But it doesn’t fail because we want the change. It fails because it’s not workable the way it is. We deserve to be happy. If we have lost some control, we can change directions. If those we care about really care about us, they will want us to be comfortable and happy. But we must tell them what we need. When we do, we may be amazed at how quickly things improve, how much better we feel, and how much closer we are because we worked together to go forward.

Today if you feel you’ve lost some control over your life and need to change direction to regain it, you can do that. Tell those involved how you feel. Speak up and explain clearly what you need to be happy. If they truly care about you, they will work with you and help you change things so you are facing the direction that takes you where you want to go. This life is all about adjustments. You can make them and you can be happy.

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Triangles

5 Jan

In an orchestra, every instrument has an integral part to play. Each is needed to make the piece being performed complete. If even one instrument’s part is removed or quieted, the entire sound is affected. If one section is more subdued than another, the main melody transfers to whichever is playing the most prominently. Directors use this to manipulate the performance and create the sound they seek. They choose the most beautiful parts of the piece to sing out above the other harmonies in order to bring the greatest beauty and depth to the music. But every instrument has it’s place and is needed to create the entire sound. Even the triangle has a role to play. It’s a small instrument with a very tiny voice. But when it is called on to sound out, its perfect placement makes the entire piece more complete. We are like the orchestra in many ways. We are all different and each of us has a voice that is unique and important. Even if we’re like the tiny triangle, and don’t say much or aren’t loud, what we have to offer is valuable and needed. Our contribution, no matter how small is integral in our lives and the lives of others. It’s important and precious.

We all have different ways of expressing ourselves. Some of us are clear and direct, and even forceful when talking with others. And some of us are more reserved, waiting until we are sure of what we want to say before speaking up, and then speaking more quietly and modestly. But our messages are all important. Whether we are loud or soft, each of our voices is necessary for our world to be complete. When we think of all the people around us and their contributions in our lives, it’s hard to imagine leaving even one of them out. None of them is perfect, and we sometimes wish some of them would fade into the the distance but when we look at the whole picture we can see that each is a necessary piece of the puzzle that is our lives. Each has a voice in our personal orchestra and we need to hear them all.

If we lack confidence we may find it hard to speak up and share our comments and thoughts with those around us. But what we have to say is important. Even the things we think are insignificant could be something someone else really needs to hear. We can feel empowered enough to share our thoughts and feelings with others, and recognize that we have an important role to play in our own lives and the lives of those around us. We are all far more connected to each other than we realize. If we open up, share our thoughts, and become part of the conversation, we will be embellished and we will bless those around us in ways we cannot possibly know. Sometimes one word from us changes everything for someone else. It’s possible that our one comment could change someone else’s perspective from lonely and unsure, to one of inclusion and acceptance. We have so much to share. We can be brave enough to share all we have, and be an integral part of the complete picture adding our own instrument and voice to the world around us.

Today if you’ve kept to yourself and not spoken up when you had the chance, determine to share who you are. You have so much to offer and your perspective is valuable and desired. Open up and let others know you more deeply and become part of the orchestra around you. Your voice is needed and we all want to hear it. Tell us who you are and let us grow from your influence. You are an amazing gift to those around you. Share yourself with them today.

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What’s Coming

4 Jan

If you’ve ever tried skiing, you know there are times when you’re at the top of the hill and because of fog or snow, you can’t see the bottom of the hill. You know it’s there – you just left it – but it’s invisible. There is no ski lift that takes us back down the mountain and once we’re at the top we have only two options. We can ski down it, or we can walk. If we decide to ski, which most of us do, despite the inability to see the bottom of the hill, we can begin down the slope. If the fog or snow is heavy, it may be hard to see more than a couple of feet ahead. If we haven’t done the course before we will not know what’s coming. But if we have faith in our abilities, and plan every turn carefully, we can get down the hill and reach the bottom in safety. Our lives can be like that. We know where we are and where we want to go, but the distance in between the two can be foggy and hard to see. If we really want to reach our destination, we have to go forward with faith. Sometimes we come to a wall and have to re-navigate but if we take our time, and keep moving forward we will reach the destination.

When we can’t see the road ahead of us, and we aren’t exactly sure which way to start, we can be overcome with doubt and decide to stay where we are instead of venturing forth. We know the location we’re in, it’s predictable and sure. Forging ahead into the unknown can be frightening. But the truth is there isn’t anything we can’t manage. We are smart enough and strong enough to face anything that comes to us. If we really want to go forward, even if we can’t see each turn that’s coming, we can keep moving and if we come to a complication we can re-navigate and start again. Every road is within our reach and every goal is attainable if we’re willing to do what we must to achieve it. We can ignore the fear and just start moving ahead. We can push our doubts aside and have faith that although we can’t see the next bend, we will know what to do when we get there.

Not everyone will support us when we want to make a change in our lives and move in a new direction. Some may tell us it’s impossible, some may say it’s too hard, some may ask why we want to change when we’re fine where we are. But none of that matters if we know what we really want. We can forge a new road, go after a big goal, and tackle difficult challenges. The world and the future belong to those brave enough to grab it. We all have the courage we need inside us. We can do whatever we want to do. We can summon our confidence and garner our faith strongly enough to do anything. There isn’t anything too hard for us to manage, too difficult for us to figure out, or too intimidating that we can’t overcome it. We can do anything. When we believe that and begin going forward deciding we will continue no matter what, we will find success. There is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve wanted to move in a new direction but have been unsure, you have everything you need to succeed. You are smart enough and strong enough to do anything you want to do. You can go forward and if you keep going forward you will succeed. Nothing can stop you when you are determined to win. You already know what you want. Start moving and you’ll get there. You deserve everything you’re seeking. Today take the first step forward to claim it.

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Baggage

2 Jan

As we navigate through our lives our experiences leave impressions on us. Sometimes they are scars from events that have hurt us, sometimes they are precious memories from times when things were wonderful, and sometimes they are just an accumulation of things we learn. Everything we experience changes us in some way, but when we have bad experiences, they may leave lasting marks that we carry with us. If the scars are painful and heavy, they can impact our lives going forward. Like baggage we can’t abandon, we pull it along with us. It might be small like an overnight bag or we may have a dozen over-sized steamer trunks we drag along. Whatever it is, it takes effort to carry it and can make it hard for us to experience joy or see the possibilities of happiness in front of us. It takes work to carry heavy baggage, it’s strenuous, and it takes concentration. We have to watch where we’re going more carefully, and navigate complicated turns with precision. It’s hard to be spontaneous, or trust that we’ll get through. When we’re carrying a lot behind us our lives are harder and we feel the weight every day.

Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody gets through without some disappointment or pain, sadness or grief. We all suffer and have bad experiences along with the good ones. It’s how we handle them that affects our lives going forward. If we’re suffering and have been hurt, we can hold onto the pain for the rest of our lives. We can carry distrust, bitterness, wariness, anger, and suspicion with us. We can keep ourselves separate from those around us and hold on to our baggage, checking it, making sure it’s still there, and keeping it close. Deep betrayal, loss of faith, intense disappointment, and pain are difficult to go through. They change us and if we let them, can paralyze our lives. We can give our control over to them, lock our security safely away, and allow them to make every personal decision we have. But we don’t have to do that.

We have the power to face whatever comes to us. Bad experiences can be conquered. Even the one thing we think we could never overcome is possible to move past. Our ability to move forward in our lives is only hampered by our own decisions. We can carry our baggage with us for as long as we want to. But when we’re ready to be happy again, we can set it down and walk away. We don’t need it to make any decisions going forward, and we can be happy if we let it go. Leaving it behind does not diminish the pain we suffered when we had it. But if we really want to be happy again, we have to let it go and walk away. We have the power to control our lives. We can’t change what’s already happened, but we can change how much we let the past determine our future. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be free of pain. We deserve everything we are hoping for. We can do anything we want and we don’t need any previous baggage holding us back. We can leave it behind and move on.

Today if you’ve been letting something from your past determine how you’re living your life, if you’re holding onto pain or disappointment, you can let it go. You can set it down and walk away, leaving it behind as you move forward. You don’t have to carry anything with you. You have all you need to be happy and successful. Let go. You deserve only the best. You have everything you need to be happy. Embrace that.

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Our Truest Life

1 Jan

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” Henry David Thoreau

When we’re young we dream of what we’ll become when we grow up. We have fantastic fantasies about being ballerinas, astronauts, race car drivers, famous singers, and a thousand other ideas. Sometimes those dreams come true, but often because we don’t know what’s involved in realizing them, they change. Years later as we progress through our lives, learn new things, and learn about ourselves, we get a better picture of who we really are. But even then, because of the complications of life and choices we make, sometimes we don’t end up where we want to be. The roads we want to travel may be obscured by the choices of others around us, or decisions we make that take us to other destinations, or even by time itself. Sometimes we wake up and look at where we are and wonder how we got there. Of course, it’s easy to see how one turn took us to another, and how each step altered our course, but even then, when we realize we’re not where we want to be, it’s disconcerting. Life is a force and if we don’t take control of it, our days will play out and determine our direction. If we want to live our truest life, the one we really want, we have to take control. We have to wake up, look at the road we’re on, and decide which way to go from there.

Living life on “auto pilot” is easy. We’ve all done it from time to time. We get into routines, we know what to expect, and we just go through the motions. But if we live our lives that way, after a time we may forget that we have control and can determine our direction. We can decide what we want and then make choices that will bring success. We can do anything, but we won’t get where we want to be if we don’t take control. Routines can be like fog rolling in. At first we can still see our way forward and it’s just a slight annoyance. But if we let them take over our lives, the path we’re looking for becomes obscured and difficult to see. We might even stop looking because we’ve been on the same road for so long a new choice may be intimidating. But this life only comes around once. We only get one shot at today. We can play along and stay in the fog, or we can step out and forge the road we really want to travel.

Are we living our truest life? We have the power to live the life we want most. However, before we can achieve it, we must first define it. Is what we’re doing today what we really want? Is this the life that will bring us true satisfaction and happiness? If it isn’t, what is needed to change it? We can change anything in our lives that we want to. We can step off the road we’ve been traveling and move in a new direction. We can point our compass toward what we want most and turn our course. We have sufficient control over our choices and our lives to make any change we want to make. If we aren’t happy where we are, if we don’t feel fulfilled, if this isn’t where we want to be, we have the power to change it. We don’t need the approval of others and we don’t need permission. This life is ours to direct and we can go wherever we choose, and become the person we want to be.

Today if you feel like you’re on the wrong road, that you aren’t living your truest life, that you aren’t where you want to be, you can change things. Decide where you want to go and what you want to do, and then begin to modify your direction and revise your plan. You can do anything. You can make your dreams a reality. Be who you really are and bless the world with your unique gifts. There is nobody else like you. Live your truest life today.

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