Archive | November, 2015

Sunday Drive

18 Nov

We get a lot of advice from others around us. Family members may tell us what they think we should be doing, bosses may tell us how they want us to go forward, friends may tell us what we should change, and it seems everyone in our circle has an opinion about how we’re living our lives. There is nothing wrong with getting advice, but if we did what everyone else thought we should be doing, we might end up doing nothing we want to do. It’s easy to be swayed by someone close to us when they tell us what they think we need to hear. And sometimes we may even believe they know more about us than we do. But we are the experts on ourselves, and we know what we want and need better than anyone else. We can be confident in making our own choices and we can be independent of those around us. We love them, but we control our lives, and we can manage them our way.

Having confidence in the ability to manage our own lives comes easily for some, but is more difficult for others. If we’ve been held tightly and given a lot of supervision and direction, we may come to rely on that support. Over time if we continue to let others make our decisions, or heavily influence us, we might not realize what we really want. Going along is easy. We just do what we’re told and play the game. But the problem with going along is that we may get lost in doing what someone else has decided and over time may forget that we, too, have a voice.  And our voices are valuable. We are just as relevant and important as anyone else. If we continually sit in the back seat and just ride along with other people’s plans, we can’t drive our lives where we want to go.

Speaking up and saying what we want empowers us and gives us confidence. We don’t have to be forceful, or domineering, but we can state our preferences. If others disagree, we can accept that and still be confident in doing whatever is best for us. Our lives are unique, and we get to decide where they go, what we do, and how we’ll go forward. We can think about what we want, and then we can do what it takes to get it. There is nothing that will stop us if we want something badly enough. Other opinions may be valuable and we may listen to them, but when it comes to making the decision, we can determine which way to go. Nobody knows us better than we do. We know what we want, and we certainly have everything we need to achieve it.

Today if you’ve been going along and taking lots of advice, remember that you can choose your own course. You can decide what’s best for you. Your life is yours and you have everything you need to make the best decisions. Be confident. Whatever you choose to do will be right for you. Design your life exactly as you like, and it will be perfect.

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Earthquake

17 Nov

Life is unpredictable and we are sometimes stunned or even shocked by the way events unfold. Situations can change suddenly and unexpectedly, and in an instant we may find ourselves in a completely different place. When it’s somewhere we never expected to go, it can be startling and unsettling. Like an unexpected earthquake we are caught off guard and feel like the ground beneath us may give way. When everything shifts and the bottom suddenly falls out, we may be left dangling trying to figure out what to do. But we can hold on and go forward once the shaking stops and get our bearings again. If everything is suddenly changed we have to let it all go, and get down to our very foundation to begin again. This can be a stunning and difficult experience, and we may feel great sadness and disappointment. But we can start over in a new and more successful direction. We can re-set, revise, and modify our course going forward. We can find the right road, and we can still succeed.

When our lives suddenly change and nothing remains the same, we have to reorganize our thinking. If we’ve invested a lot of time in the situation we may feel angry at how much we’ve lost. However, as long as we’re actively engaged in our lives, we aren’t wasting time. No matter what comes to us we gain something from every experience. We learn things as we go, even if the situation disintegrates. If nothing else, we’ve learned what can go wrong and that is valuable information. Every experience brings some bit of information we can use again that will be helpful. Even when we fall, we learn more than we knew before.

Deciding how to go forward when we’ve had a serious realignment in our focus may take some time and thought. Sometimes a sudden turn changes our destination, and we must clearly determine where our next step will take us. We must decide where we want to go now, and what we want our lives to look like when we get there. Once we’ve decided that, we can plot a course and make a plan to succeed. There really are no straight lines in life. There are lots of curves, detours, changes, and complications that pull us here and there. But if we keep the destination in our minds, and keep our eyes on the goal, no matter what happens, we’ll get there. We will do whatever it takes to succeed.

Today if you’ve had a stunning development that has shaken your course off its axis, regain your footing and reevaluate your plans. Decide where you want to go. You haven’t wasted any time, and you will use the knowledge you’ve gained from this experience to be successful going forward. You are strong enough and smart enough to figure this out. You have everything you need already.

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Step One

16 Nov

We have a lot of goals in our lives. There are many things we think about, things we want to do, and things we want to achieve. But having a goal is just the first step in accomplishing anything. Thinking about what we want to do is fine, but if we’re serious about achieving it, we have to do more. The famous French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” And that’s true. It’s fun to wish for things but if we want our wishes to become reality, we need to make a plan to accomplish them and then implement it. It takes action to succeed in anything. We can dream and wish and hope for things to happen, but nothing will ever change until we do something to make the change a reality.

When we seriously want something in our lives, we must do what it takes to get it. Sometimes it’s necessary to change what we’re used to or what we’ve been comfortable with.  Maybe we have to give up some free time, or we have to step out of our comfort zone and extend ourselves to those we don’t know. Maybe we have to let go of some long held fear. When what we really want means a great deal to us, we can make those sacrifices. But if we have to do something that scares us, or we’re intimidated by the process needed to get to the goal, it may take more courage than we initially anticipated. And then we’ll have to determine how much we want to succeed. If we really want to go forward, there is nothing that will stand in our way. We will do what it takes, no matter what that entails.

There is nothing we can’t do if we want to badly enough. There is no obstacle so large that it will prevent us from achieving our goal. We can do anything. But we must decide what we really want. They say we always do what we want to do most. That seems evident. If we say we want to change but keep doing the same things, the real truth is that we want things to stay the same. If we really want to change we have to embrace it and do what is needed to make it happen. If we keep doing the same things over and over again, change will never happen. Even if we talk about what we want to do, even if we think about it constantly, even if we dream about it, if we do nothing to change where we are, we will never achieve it.

Today if you’ve been dreaming about a change you want in your life, if you’ve been wishing for it and thinking about it, do one thing that will take you closer to it. Take the first step to start moving forward to the goal, and set a date to accomplish it. Then start doing what is needed to make it a reality. With every step you take you’ll be closer than you were before. You can do anything. Start now. There is nothing that will stop you or stand in your way. You have everything you need to succeed.

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Authentic

14 Nov

There are a lot of influences in our lives, and sometimes there may be pressure to be some version of ourselves that isn’t quite genuine. Others may want us to be like them because they feel more comfortable when everyone around them reflects their personal style or preferences. Sometimes there is pressure to conform to some idea that is the norm, and even if we don’t really want to, we may go along so we fit in. Although we all know it’s best to be honest, when we care about someone and they are insistent, it can be hard to speak up. If we concede and do what is expected instead of genuinely being who we are, we put ourselves into false situations that may not work out for us. If we live a life designed by someone else, it isn’t ours. And living our own lives, our way, is the most important thing we can do. We are unique and have a lot to offer just as we are. We can be who we really are, and be confident even if it’s not what others want.

When we are trying to figure out who we really are, we try on different lifestyles and choices until we find what fits. Sometimes that matches those around us, and sometimes it doesn’t. Once we figure out what works for us, it feels perfect and even if it’s not the norm, we can embrace it. We don’t have to reflect what anyone else thinks we should be. We don’t have to be married, single, conservative, liberal, quiet or outspoken just because those around us would be more comfortable. We can be respectful and kind, and do exactly what’s best for us. If we conform to a model that isn’t genuine, we may be able to make it work for a time, but eventually who we really are will emerge. We are entitled to be authentic about ourselves, and be truthful and open. Unless we’re hurting someone, the opinions of others don’t matter.

Sometimes we’re the ones who put pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, and try to fit a mold that isn’t exactly right. There might be family pressures, or the desire to fit in. We can try to assimilate and if we want to change we certainly can. But if the change is too dramatic, or we aren’t completely convinced we want to be that different, even if we accomplish it, it’s doubtful we’ll be happy. We deserve to be happy every day. Trying to be something we aren’t will never take us there. We know who we are and we know what works for us. We can be that person and we don’t have to fit any other model no matter how convincing it is.

Today be the person you really are. You are perfect just being you. Be confident in your true self. Be genuine and open. You have a lot to offer, and offering it with your own authentic twist is the best you can give. Your uniqueness is valuable and worthwhile. Embrace it and confidently share it with everyone around you.

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Square One

13 Nov

When we’re working on something, or trying to move forward with a situation in our lives, we try to choose the best course. But sometimes after we’ve been at it for a while we find we’re in the wrong place, and what we’ve been doing isn’t working. And then we have to stop, and rethink the situation. It can feel defeating to discover we are back at square one again, and we have to start over realizing all the progress we thought we were making was an illusion. We need to regroup and reconsider where to go from here. Being at square one after we’ve been working to move forward can feel like failure, but there is sometimes no way to see where we’re going until we get there. Choosing the wrong path doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we tried one option that didn’t work. Returning to the beginning again isn’t always a step backward. Sometimes it’s the next step forward. We’ve discovered what doesn’t work and are wiser from the experience. Now we can choose again knowing more than we knew before.

Nobody can tell the future and there is no way to know how things will develop. Even if we try to consider all the possible complications that may occur, there is bound to be one we didn’t see. All we can do is use the information we have to formulate our best plan and go forward. When that doesn’t work, we have to try again. We never fail when we keep trying, but only if we stop and give up. Some things work out the first time, but often when we’re trying to learn new things, accomplish something complicated, or correct our path, it takes a few attempts before we figure things out. We learn as we go and each experience gives us valuable information to use going forward.

The expectations of others sometimes create stress as we are trying to find our way. There may be some who expect us to get everything right the first time, or some who are impatient with how long it takes us to get the job done. But we are all different, and we process things differently. We can take a little more time if we need to, and we can try a few different roads until we succeed. When we do things our way we’ll find what works and we will succeed. We are capable of figuring out any problem or situation that comes to us. Returning to square one will enable us to reevaluate, and use the new information we have to determine the best way forward.

Today if what you’ve been doing isn’t working, you can change your course. Start over, rethink the situation, and look at it again with all the information you have. You will find your way and you’ll be successful. Returning to square one is not failure. It’s the chance to begin again. Use it to define what will work and you’ll succeed.

 

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