Archive | October, 2015

Small Moves

15 Oct

Change is rarely easy.  It’s always more comfortable to keep things as they are than it is to change them.  But change is constant and can’t be avoided.  Sometimes we need to make adjustments to facilitate new situations in our lives.  Maybe we are moving and must change our jobs, or our jobs are changing causing us to relocate.  Perhaps a family situation has developed and it’s impacting our lives and routine in ways that mean we have to adjust our patterns and how we do things.  When we have to make serious changes it can be hard to navigate at first.  We may try to keep doing things as always and hope it’ll work out.  If it doesn’t we’ll have to find a new way to go forward.  It’s important to realize that change doesn’t usually happen all at once.  We generally have to make small adjustments one at a time to figure out what works.  We turn a few degrees to the right or to the left, re-adjust and then, if necessary, turn again.  We continue to modify our path until things are working more effectively and we’ve completely implemented the change into our lives.

Sometimes it seems like life would be easier if everything stayed the same.  We’re familiar with this road, we’ve been on it for a while and don’t see any reason to go into uncharted territory.  But this life is consistently changing.  It’s really the only constant we can count on.  No matter how things are now, they won’t stay that way forever.  So learning to accommodate the inevitable change that’s coming is imperative.  We can’t see the future and we don’t know what lies ahead.  What we’re doing now is preparing us for the new experiences coming our way.  If we are confident and positive looking forward, we will be able to adjust to whatever comes.  There really isn’t anything we can’t face.  Even the most difficult developments are within our ability to understand and navigate.

Our responses to change often result in stress.  Whether the change is wonderful or disastrous doesn’t really matter.  The measure of the change often brings with it a comparable amount of stress as we try to adjust.  If the impact is great, it takes more time than if it’s small.  We may feel out of control, anxious, and uncomfortable as we navigate through the transition.  But if we take it one step at a time, we’ll find our footing again, and no matter what the change is, we’ll figure out how to process it into our lives.  We don’t need to be afraid, and we don’t need to worry.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage.  We can be calm and confident as we figure out what to do next.  In time we’ll get through and although our lives may be different, and we may be facing a new “normal,” we’ll be able to find happiness and peace again.

Today if you’re facing some new changes, if you’re unsure and feel stressed, give yourself time to adjust.  Take it one step at a time.  Change is a normal and expected part of life.  It’s a time to redirect, and redefine who we are and where we’re going.  Walk through the transition at your own pace.  Give yourself time to adjust, and before you know it you’ll be on the other side happy with where you are, and looking forward.

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Not Even

14 Oct

There are a lot of things to learn in this life, and more things to try.  It would be great if we succeeded at everything we attempted, but that will not be our experience.  Nobody can do everything well.  It’s impossible, but despite that, we all hope for success in everything we attempt.  If we didn’t think we could achieve the objective we wouldn’t try.  But success may be elusive in some arenas, and although we hate to face it, sometimes we will fail.  We’ll flame out, crash and burn, and fall flat.  And when that happens we may lose our confidence.  We failed.  We did our best and it wasn’t enough.  It hurts, but failure is just one event.  It isn’t a life choice, it isn’t our destiny, and it isn’t permanent.  When it happens, if we can remember that, we can move forward with more certainty.  Even though things didn’t go as planned this time, what we try next may be a resounding success.

Daring to try new things takes temerity and courage.  It’s easy to be safe and secure doing the same things every day.  It’s easy to take a back seat to life and let others drive.  We can skate through our days and not try anything new, or see how far we can go.  But a life like that is not as rewarding as one where we dare to try and see what we could do.  There is no way to know if we stay in our comfort zones and refuse to venture forward.  We are capable of far more than we generally realize.  We can climb Everest, we can sail around the world, we can go skydiving, we can become fluent in five languages, or we could become President of our local club.  We can do a lot.  We just have to try.

If we fail at something we really want, it’s heartbreaking.  There is no such thing as fate and we can live our lives any way we want to.  But some things we want to achieve will be out of reach.  When that happens it will hurt, and we will be disappointed.  We may become depressed but we can’t forget that failure is not a destination.  It’s just a passage.  And today’s failure may open doors to a success we haven’t yet dreamed of.   Everything we experience in this life, even failure, brings new opportunities.  Being open to them, seeing them, and deciding to walk through new doors is exciting.  There is so much we can do, and today is the best time to start again.  If we can forget the loss of the past, and let it go, we can look ahead and move forward.  Life is all about forward momentum.  We can’t let failure slow us down.  There is a lot yet to do.

Today if you’ve been stung by failure, remember it’s just a passage to something new.  Try again.  Be brave and open all the doors.  You have so much promise and there are exciting and fulfilling opportunities all around you.  See them and embrace them.  Failure is just a way of fine tuning your path.  You know more now.  Go forward with that knowledge and conquer your dreams.  You can do anything.  You are invincible.

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All Set

13 Oct

Being busy is just part of life.  We have things we need to get done, and things we want to get done, and there are always complications that eat up our time.  We have tasks that keep us busy, and we have goals for things we want to accomplish.  It takes planning to get everything done, and if we aren’t careful, the daily tasks that pop up will take all our focus and we’ll forget about the goals that are waiting in the background.  We can think about our tasks as short term projects, things we have to address now.  The goals we’ve set for our personal growth are generally more long term.  If we want to accomplish them, we need to manage our time, and make a plan so we can succeed.  Our daily chores are important, but our personal goals are important too.  They help us define who we are and who we want to be.  Although we may think of them as a priority, if we don’t take time to plan for them, they may get lost in the shuffle.

If we have a goal that requires significant time like going to the gym for three hours each week, if we want to make it happen, we need to get it onto our schedule.  If we write it down and decide that no matter what comes we are committed to being there, we have a better chance of making it happen.  If our goal is to have more down time by ourselves it may take careful planning to be absent from our routine.  We can figure out how to excuse ourselves, and find a private location where we won’t be disturbed.  If we want to develop a more extensive social life, we can make plans for local events, and if we invite friends to join us their participation will ensure we actually attend.  No matter what the goal is, if we want to achieve it we need a plan.

Sometimes our long range goals involve a financial aspect.  We may not have the funds for them now but if we commit to a date to be ready, make a plan for saving the required amount, and implement it, we’ll be prepared when the time arrives.  If they require a fitness level we haven’t yet achieved, we can start training and maybe work with someone else until we are strong and ready for the event.  There are few things more rewarding than planning for, and accomplishing a long desired goal.  We feel gratified and happy when we realize we did what we set out to do.  Even very difficult challenges may be attained if we work for them, and plan for them.  If we start out believing we will achieve them, and refuse to let complications stand in our way, we’ll get there.  We can do anything we want to, and we can fill our lives with exciting changes and new experiences.  We can reach for the brass ring, and we can grasp it.

Today if you’re thinking about something you want to do, make a plan to achieve it.  Schedule your time to allow for it, and believe that you will accomplish it.  You can make all your dreams come true one step at a time.  Believe in yourself.  Believe you can, and you will.  You have the courage and determination to get this done.  Reach high and stretch.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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Getting Back Up

12 Oct

In football, the object of the game is to move the ball from one end of the field over the goal line on the other side.  It seems simple enough but there are a lot of players on the field, and half of them are determined to prevent the ball from going forward.  Everyone does their best to push ahead, and because they are struggling with each other to get to the goal, they spend a lot of time on the ground.  They fall either being knocked down by their opponent or because they are taking another player down to prevent them from advancing.  The hits are hard and sometimes they are injured and unable to get up.  But mostly, they jump back up and push forward again and again.  They take a beating as the game progresses.  Seeing it play out, it’s not that different from what we experience in our personal lives.

We’re all trying to move forward in one way or another.  We push, and maneuver, and try to gain a little ground each day.  Sometimes we get further down the road.  Other times we get knocked down.  Something goes wrong, or someone doesn’t follow through, or what we thought would work out didn’t.  If the goal is important and we’re knocked down, we have to get back up and try again.  The first few times that’s a little easier than it may be after a dozen hits.  But if we want to succeed we can’t stop.  We have to muster our courage, regain our strength, and stand up again.  There is opposition in everything we do, and if we want to win we must be determined that no matter how many times we’re set back, we will continue to push forward.

With everything we want to accomplish we weigh the costs.  Great accomplishments often require great sacrifice and time.  But they also carry the greatest rewards when we succeed.  We need to decide if those rewards are worth whatever we must do to achieve them.  If they are, and we can see the big picture instead of the problems and inconveniences we’re going through, we have a better chance of success.  There isn’t anything we can’t achieve if we want it badly enough.  If we’re resolved in our purpose, and steadfast in our focus, we can face whatever comes.  If we get knocked down, we can get back up.  And when we do we’ll be smarter, and stronger going forward

Today if you’re trying hard to accomplish a goal and you’ve been knocked down, get back up.  Envision the success waiting for you at the end of the struggle.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You have everything you need to succeed.  Just keep going.  You know what you want, and you will have it.

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Proof

11 Oct

Most of us want to be good friends and good partners.  We want to be reliable and helpful, and we want those around us to know we’ll be there if they need us.  Building good relationships depends on how we keep our word and follow through.  If we say we’ll be there, we need to show up.  If we don’t, our credibility becomes doubtful.  If this becomes a pattern, we will damage the relationship, and in the end we may lose it altogether.  There is an old saying that the proof is in the pudding.  It means even if someone tells us the pudding is good, we have to taste it for ourselves to find out.  With us, it means what we do proves who we really are.  If we say we’re going to be there for those close to us and aren’t, there is no proof that we will follow through.  There is no proof that we’re reliable and can be counted on.  And if we aren’t honest about that, it casts doubt on everything else we say.

There are some people who say things they don’t mean, and make promises they don’t intend to keep.  Sometimes it’s because they aren’t trustworthy.  Sometimes it’s because they don’t care, and sometimes it’s because they’re irresponsible.  The reasons really don’t matter.  If they give us their word and then don’t follow through, we learn they can’t be trusted.  And trust is imperative in any relationship.  Without it, there is little hope it can continue.  Since we can’t know the future, if someone gives us their word on something, we rely on it and believe them.  If they don’t follow through, the next time they give their word will have less credibility.  We may try to trust them again, but if they let us down repeatedly, it’s impossible to go forward.

When those we love continually break their promises, offering constant excuses, our feelings for them will be affected.  It hurts to be let down again and again, and it makes us feel unimportant.  But we are important and we need to feel that way in our close relationships.  If we keep getting hurt, if they keep breaking their word, we may learn to distance ourselves so we can be protected from additional pain.  If we’re the ones who don’t follow through, and keep breaking our word, we may lose.  Close relationships take time to build.  Letting them falter because we can’t be dependable is heartbreaking.  We need to pay attention.  If we say we’ll be there, we need to be there.

Today, do everything you can to follow through on what you’ve said.  Be dependable, and let those close to you know they can rely on you.  If you’ve been hurt from someone else breaking their word again and again, think about the situation objectively and determine the best course for you going forward.  You are important, and you are valuable.  Make your decisions based on that, and remember you are worth the very best of everything.

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