Archive | May, 2015

Trailing Clouds of Glory

11 May

The famous poet William Wordsworth wrote “Ode on Imitations of Immortality…” musing on who we are as people, and where we came from. He wrote:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The soul that rises with us, our life’s star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.

I have often read this poem and pondered it, and the part that captures me every time is “But trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home.” Whatever your religious beliefs are, or even if you don’t have any beliefs about God or an eternal plan, there have probably been times in your life when you have wondered about who we really are, why we are here, and what will happen when we leave here.

Despite what the news and media tell us continually every day, I believe that most people are good. Most of us try hard to do our best, and be our best. Most of us are willing to help others, and most of us are honest. Of course, as has been since the very beginning, there are some who do not care about doing what is right, and there are some who are frankly evil. But I really believe most of us are good.

If Wordsworth is right, and we came to earth from God, whatever you believe that to be, and our lives are but a “sleep and a forgetting,” what does that mean for us? If we were trailing clouds of glory when we came, are they still with us now? Does the glory disappear after we get here? What if the glory is still with us? What if the clouds of glory trailing behind us when we came are still here? And if they are, what does that mean for us? Shouldn’t we be acknowledging them, and living in ways that magnify them?

When I think about the human race – all of us since the very beginning – there seems in us an innate desire to choose well, and to help others. Think about your life, and look back as far as you can remember. Most of your friends and acquaintances probably were not evil. They probably were not wicked, and they probably were basically good. Of course there are unkind people in the world, and those who don’t care about anyone but themselves, but they are, thankfully, not the norm. Perhaps Mr. Wordsworth was right, and we are trailing clouds of glory that attend to us every day, and help us to choose well.

Today perhaps you will consider this. Look around at those you come in contact with, those you work with, those you interact with, and think about them as people. I think you’ll see that most of them are trying to do good things, and are trying to choose well. And if you do see that, let it grow within you, and build your faith in humanity. We are not perfect by a long shot. But I think there is glory in all of us. I think it’s been there since the beginning. I have it and you have it. Embrace it. Let it shine through every day, and remember who you are. “Trailing clouds of glory…” we can be a blessing to everyone around us.

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Value in Disaster

10 May

In 1914 Thomas Edison’s factory in West Orange, New Jersey, was destroyed by fire. Everything was gone. The building was made mostly of concrete, and nobody thought it could burn so it was insured for a small fraction of the loss. The day after the fire, Mr. Edison went to survey the damage. As he stood there seeing the complete destruction, he said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” What an amazing man! What an incredible attitude! Someone else may have only seen the loss, but he saw the potential of starting again. What an great example.

We all suffer disasters of varying degrees in our lives. Some are enormous, and hard to face, and others are less destructive. Some wreck our belongings, as well as, our spirits. We may face devastating situations that take years to overcome, or we may have problems that seem disastrous at first but turn out to be workable. Whatever we face, our attitude decides how we will go forward. If we believe the situation is insurmountable, too horrible to face, and we hide from it, it may consume our lives. However, if we, like Mr. Edison, look at the other side of the coin, that it’s horrible now, but it’s also the beginning of something new, it will be easier for us to navigate it.

When we suffer through tragedies and disasters, our lives are changed permanently. We can never go back to how we were before the event happened. What was before is gone. We have to face a new reality. It may not be easy to face, but whether we face it or not, it’s still where we are. So, the best we can do is accept it, decide what we need to do to go forward, and direct our lives to accommodate the change. It’s easy to say these things, it’s easy to think about them, what isn’t easy, is to do them. But we have sufficient courage inside us, and we can handle the changes in our lives, no matter what they are.

This life has its pack of trials. People die, storms ravage, fires burn, floods invade, wars happen, and we all have our share of sorrow, and grief. In those horrible moments, we may feel that we can’t go on. We can’t face our lives now, they are too difficult. But a day goes by, and despite our intense unhappiness, we actually live through it. Then another day goes by. Then a month passes, and as it does, we being to heal. We can, with patience, and time face whatever comes to us. Some days perhaps the best we can do is just breathe in and out, and that is sufficient.

If we can try to think like Mr. Edison did when he faced utter destruction, and see a new beginning instead of just an ending, we will face our trials with more confidence, and peace. Remember that each end is the start of something new. Turn the page. It’s a new day.

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Take that!

9 May

I have a friend who is generally nice, and amiable. But when she gets angry, she has no boundaries to what she will say or do. She says things that are vicious, and destructive to make her point. She goes way too far. I asked her about this, and she said she does it so the argument will end quickly. “If you crush them, they give in, and the fight is over,” she said, and in some ways she’s right. I have another friend with the same model. If he ever has a disagreement he, too, goes way too far. He uses a cannon when a flyswatter would have been enough. He says and does horrible things to hurt the other person, and it’s always destructive. He also says that he does this because it ends the fight quickly. And he likes returning to the relationship after the destruction to patch everything back up, and make it better. He likes that part a lot. It’s like a personal destroy, and recovery mission.

There could be no worse models for handling disagreements than these, and yet despite discussing the situation with them several times, they are either unable or unwilling to change. And so it continues. I’ve had many experiences with both of these people through the course of our friendships, and when they get angry and say horrible things, and make destructive comments way out of the scope of the disagreement, I am so stunned that I naturally end the conversation. The argument is over quickly, which is their goal – but the pain, and damage from the conversation remain. As a result of these behaviors, whether they acknowledge it or not, their relationships with others suffer. After they attack someone, it takes a while for the injured party to recover, and begin to trust them again. And sometimes they won’t ever trust them again, and decide instead to let the relationship go.

If we go for the jugular in our disagreements, if we go too far for whatever reason, we may lose more in the end than we want. People are flexible to a point. They will allow us to hurt them to a point. But once that point is reached, they may walk away, and abandon the relationship. So the question comes, is it worth the cost of a friendship to make a point? Is it worth losing someone we value so we can win? There is nothing to be gained by crushing others because of a disagreement. We may feel powerful in the moment, but that power is an illusion. The only power we are really displaying is the power to destroy a relationship. Anyone can do that. It’s not powerful at all. So, is it worth it to win the argument at any cost? Perhaps we need to rethink that. Perhaps the real power is when we use discretion and respect, and protect the relationships we cherish, even in conflict.

We all disagree from time to time. We all let others down sometimes. We will naturally argue, and we will have uncomfortable discussions. Unless we are fighting for our lives, there is no justifiable reason to destroy anyone we are disagreeing with. It’s just a disagreement. Sure, maybe they let us down, maybe they hurt our feelings, or maybe they did something truly horrible. No matter what they’ve done, trying to destroy them will not restore what has been lost, or repair the situation. It will probably make it worse. If we lose our self-control, and if we lose the relationship altogether, winning the argument won’t be worth it.

Today if you have a disagreement with someone, even if they’ve been horrible to you, remember that what you do is your decision. You may vanquish them, stick the knife in their heart so to speak, but what will you gain afterward? Will it be worth how you feel about yourself later? Will it be worth losing a friend? Think before you throw that spear. Think before you say those words. Think. Will it be worth the cost? What do you really want to gain?

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Rose Colored Glasses

8 May

I am an optimist by nature. I tend to look for the best in others, and generally give them the benefit of the doubt. I have always been this way, and when I was growing up my mother used to tell me that one day I would have to remove my “rose colored glasses,” and see the world as it really was. She felt that I gave people too much credit, and that the world didn’t work that way. Well, now that I am grown up, I understand that the world as it really is depends on my perception. Since I’m still the same girl I was years ago, and I’m still an optimist, I’m still wearing those glasses.

Some people see the world differently though. They focus on the negative, the problems, the complications, and the drama. There is certainly a lot of that, and if we want to we can focus on them. But there is also a lot of good in the world. There are people doing good things, there are happy families, there are noble organizations, there are people serving one another, and the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, most of the good news never makes it to the daily broadcasts, or the news feeds on-line because it isn’t sensational enough. But what could be more sensational than doing good in a world so focused on the bad?

They say life is what you make it. We can’t prevent all the trouble that comes into our lives, and we certainly will have our share of challenges. But we will also have our share of blessings. If we have enough to eat, clothes to wear, shelter to rest in, and enough money to survive we are living well. Some people are never happy no matter what gifts they possess, and what they have is never enough. We can look at our lives that way, and we can complain every second of every day if we like. We can find fault, we can pick on those that don’t do things the way we would do them, we can criticize, and belittle all we want to. But in the end, our lives are what we make of them. If we do that all the time, our lives will be filled with criticism, complaints, and discontent. Nobody really wants a life like that.

However, if we look for the good in every situation, we will surely find something there. Even in the most difficult times, even dealing with the most annoying people, we will find something that’s good. If we look for the good in our lives instead of the negative and disappointing, our lives will be filled with peaceful feelings, confidence in others, and a positive outlook for the future. It’s all in how we decide to see it. In the summer we could complain because it’s hot outside, or we could see the gorgeous flowers and trees thriving in the hot sun. In the winter we could complain because it’s snowing again, or we could see the beauty and peace in a winter’s landscape. It’s the same situation both times, but our response to it changes our perception.

Today when you face difficult situations, annoying people, or complex challenges, try to look for what is good about the situation. There will be something there. It’s always there if we look for it. It may be very small at times, but something will shine through. If we learn to do this in every situation we will become happier, and more content in our lives. We can wear rose colored glasses and still see the world as it is. There will always be problems, there will always be trouble, but there will always be joy as well. Look for it – it’s there.

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Fish or Cut Bait

7 May

We make dozens of decisions each day as we go through our routines, and responsibilities. Time flies by and before we know it, another year has passed. If we are on the road we want to be on, that time may be spent positively pursuing goals or moving toward results we want. If we are on another road, one that isn’t where we want to be, it may be hard to look back, and realize that another year has passed, and we haven’t yet changed our course.

Routines are interesting things. If we stay in them long enough, we don’t even think about them – we automatically just do the next thing. If we aren’t careful, time goes by with us hardly noticing where we’ve been or what we’ve done. And time is a commodity that can never be replaced. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. If we are in a routine or a rut in our lives that isn’t bringing us satisfaction, that isn’t rewarding, if we aren’t happy, if we are just going through the motions, we’ve traded valuable time even though we didn’t enjoy it. And we’ll never get it back. So, we need to be awake and aware of what we’re doing. If we’re in a situation where we aren’t happy, the only way to get out of it is to make a change.

Imagine you’re on a fishing boat charter. There are several people on the boat, and everyone is excited about the trip. The captain offers a $100 prize for the person who catches the biggest fish of the day. Needless to say, you want to fish the whole time to increase your odds of winning, but since there are so many of you, and the fishing is good, you’ll need a lot of bait. Everyone must take time away from fishing to cut bait so it will be ready when needed. While you’re taking your turn cutting up the smaller fish and throwing them in the bait bucket, someone catches the biggest fish of the day. You’re excited for them, but you think if you hadn’t been cutting bait you could have been the one to win the prize.

If we are in situations where we aren’t happy, and do nothing to change them, if we are just going through the motions, we are, in essence, cutting bait. We aren’t actively involved in going forward or moving ahead. We aren’t doing what we really want to do. We are not focused on our goals. Some people trade out years of their lives enduring situations that hold them back. They don’t want to do what is needed to correct the situation. Change is hard for most of us, but our lives don’t last forever, so it’s important to look at where we are, and where we want to be. If we want to be happy, we have to be courageous enough to face what we’re doing that needs to change, and then do what it takes to correct our course. We all deserve to be happy but happiness comes from within us. Nobody can give it to us. It doesn’t just happen on its own. We have to give it to ourselves.

So, what’ll it be today? Will you fish or cut bait? Will you choose the road you really want to be on? Will you choose happiness? The choice is always there. We can change any time we want to – we just need to make the decision. This life goes by in an instant. If you’ve been stuck, start today. Go forward, put your face in the wind, focus on your future with your eyes firmly placed in the present. Today is the perfect day for it. No matter what is going on, today is the perfect day to start.

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