The Simple Life

20 Nov

In this day and age, there are thousands of things that capture our attention. There are limitless websites we can visit to see and learn new things, thousands of items we can purchase, endless places to travel to, and an ongoing barrage of information flowing in. We can spend our time involved in innumerable ventures and activities. Many of them are valuable, but there are a lot of good, but worthless, time takers that can eat up our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in all that’s available, and if we aren’t careful we can spend our days reading about and watching how others live their lives, and neglect to actually live our own. Every moment we live is expendable. Once it’s gone we can never get it back. Therefore, it seems wise to spend them in ways that will enhance our experiences and give us the most in return.

Leonardo da Vinci said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” If that’s true then all the time we spend complicating our lives with information and activity may keep us from becoming exactly what we’re seeking. Learning to live a simple life can bring us more free time, and allow us to enjoy each day without the constant need to be busy. These days it seems we’re expected to be constantly working on something, or engaged in an activity. But if we’re always busy we have no time for thought, or reflection. And if we continually jump from one action to the next and never leave any down time, we may burn ourselves out. Our days will fly by and because of our activity level we may not remember what we spent our time doing. Learning to simplify our days can help us learn more about life and about ourselves, and may improve our physical and mental health.

When we spend our time engaged in anything, we are, in fact, spending our time. We are exchanging it for the benefit of whatever activity we’re engaged in. Like money, once it leaves our hands, it’s gone. But our time can never be re-earned or replaced. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. If we think more carefully about how we want to use it, and are judicious in giving it away to things that mean little, we will feel more gratified and satisfied when the day is over. Instead of getting lost in our computer searches, and spinning our wheels doing things that take us nowhere, we can choose to consciously decide how our minutes and hours will be used. And if we do, our lives will be richer and more meaningful, and we’ll remember each day is a gift.

Today if you’ve been caught up in all the information and activities around you, if you’ve lost time doing things that haven’t returned anything positive back to you, take control. Determine how you’ll spend your time more effectively. Make careful choices regarding it and you’ll be happier with what you’re doing, more relaxed going forward, and nothing will steal your focus from your goals. Today be in charge of your life, and your time spent will return good things back to you.

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Lies, Lies, and More Lies

19 Nov

We can say anything we want about anyone or any situation. We can make up stories about our lives, our successes, our families, our history, or anything else we want to. We can tell people we care about them when we don’t, tell others we’ll call them when we have no intention of doing so, or anything else that pops into mind. There is no truth police except our own conscience and if we ignore that and don’t care about ethics or morality, we can create any sort of life we want to by lying. Some people think there are degrees of lying and it’s okay to tell them if they don’t mean much or don’t hurt others. For instance, if we get invited to a party and don’t want to attend, we could say we have another commitment, even if we don’t. Then we don’t have to go to the party, and the host isn’t hurt because we made up a plausible excuse. Some call those “white lies.” But whatever color we call it, it’s still a lie. And once we’re caught in one, which will inevitably happen, we lose the trust of those around us. Nobody can believe a liar. Nobody will even try.

Instead of telling lies outright, we can do it in obscure and ambiguous ways. We could create confusion and misdirection to mask what is really going on. Although we aren’t outright lying to the other party, we are doing things to keep the truth from them. What about when we tell lies to protect others? If we care about someone but know we can’t commit to the serious relationship they want, we could lead them on and hope that eventually they’ll figure things out on their own. That way we don’t have to tell the painful truth, and they’ll be happy at least for a while. We aren’t really lying with words, but we’re deceiving them just the same. Whether we speak them or live them, lies damage our credibility and our self respect. And will eventually damage our relationships with others.

Is it imperative to be honest in all things? Are there exceptions to the rule? We all have to make personal judgment calls in every decision. But telling lies and living dishonestly complicates our lives. We must remember exactly what we’ve said, who we’ve told, and what we’ve done. Since it’s all fiction, we have to keep our stories straight, which can take a lot of energy and planning if we’ve been lying for a while. It’s far easier and simpler in the long run to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even if we’ve done something embarrassing or hurtful, it’s best to own up to it and face the music. No dance lasts forever, and no matter what we’ve done we will move through it. Determining to be honest in every interaction will free us from guilt and shame, and the difficulty of untangling lies. People will respect our honesty, honor our integrity, and trust us implicitly. And having the trust of others is a great blessing.

Today if you’ve gotten tangled up in a dishonest situation, you can straighten things out by telling the truth. No matter what has happened already, clear the way by being completely honest going forward. Those around you will learn they can trust you and be glad to interact with you. You are worth more than you can imagine. Honor your value by being as honest as possible. Let others believe you, and depend on you, and be the gift you were designed to be.

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Sunday Drive

18 Nov

We get a lot of advice from others around us. Family members may tell us what they think we should be doing, bosses may tell us how they want us to go forward, friends may tell us what we should change, and it seems everyone in our circle has an opinion about how we’re living our lives. There is nothing wrong with getting advice, but if we did what everyone else thought we should be doing, we might end up doing nothing we want to do. It’s easy to be swayed by someone close to us when they tell us what they think we need to hear. And sometimes we may even believe they know more about us than we do. But we are the experts on ourselves, and we know what we want and need better than anyone else. We can be confident in making our own choices and we can be independent of those around us. We love them, but we control our lives, and we can manage them our way.

Having confidence in the ability to manage our own lives comes easily for some, but is more difficult for others. If we’ve been held tightly and given a lot of supervision and direction, we may come to rely on that support. Over time if we continue to let others make our decisions, or heavily influence us, we might not realize what we really want. Going along is easy. We just do what we’re told and play the game. But the problem with going along is that we may get lost in doing what someone else has decided and over time may forget that we, too, have a voice.  And our voices are valuable. We are just as relevant and important as anyone else. If we continually sit in the back seat and just ride along with other people’s plans, we can’t drive our lives where we want to go.

Speaking up and saying what we want empowers us and gives us confidence. We don’t have to be forceful, or domineering, but we can state our preferences. If others disagree, we can accept that and still be confident in doing whatever is best for us. Our lives are unique, and we get to decide where they go, what we do, and how we’ll go forward. We can think about what we want, and then we can do what it takes to get it. There is nothing that will stop us if we want something badly enough. Other opinions may be valuable and we may listen to them, but when it comes to making the decision, we can determine which way to go. Nobody knows us better than we do. We know what we want, and we certainly have everything we need to achieve it.

Today if you’ve been going along and taking lots of advice, remember that you can choose your own course. You can decide what’s best for you. Your life is yours and you have everything you need to make the best decisions. Be confident. Whatever you choose to do will be right for you. Design your life exactly as you like, and it will be perfect.

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Earthquake

17 Nov

Life is unpredictable and we are sometimes stunned or even shocked by the way events unfold. Situations can change suddenly and unexpectedly, and in an instant we may find ourselves in a completely different place. When it’s somewhere we never expected to go, it can be startling and unsettling. Like an unexpected earthquake we are caught off guard and feel like the ground beneath us may give way. When everything shifts and the bottom suddenly falls out, we may be left dangling trying to figure out what to do. But we can hold on and go forward once the shaking stops and get our bearings again. If everything is suddenly changed we have to let it all go, and get down to our very foundation to begin again. This can be a stunning and difficult experience, and we may feel great sadness and disappointment. But we can start over in a new and more successful direction. We can re-set, revise, and modify our course going forward. We can find the right road, and we can still succeed.

When our lives suddenly change and nothing remains the same, we have to reorganize our thinking. If we’ve invested a lot of time in the situation we may feel angry at how much we’ve lost. However, as long as we’re actively engaged in our lives, we aren’t wasting time. No matter what comes to us we gain something from every experience. We learn things as we go, even if the situation disintegrates. If nothing else, we’ve learned what can go wrong and that is valuable information. Every experience brings some bit of information we can use again that will be helpful. Even when we fall, we learn more than we knew before.

Deciding how to go forward when we’ve had a serious realignment in our focus may take some time and thought. Sometimes a sudden turn changes our destination, and we must clearly determine where our next step will take us. We must decide where we want to go now, and what we want our lives to look like when we get there. Once we’ve decided that, we can plot a course and make a plan to succeed. There really are no straight lines in life. There are lots of curves, detours, changes, and complications that pull us here and there. But if we keep the destination in our minds, and keep our eyes on the goal, no matter what happens, we’ll get there. We will do whatever it takes to succeed.

Today if you’ve had a stunning development that has shaken your course off its axis, regain your footing and reevaluate your plans. Decide where you want to go. You haven’t wasted any time, and you will use the knowledge you’ve gained from this experience to be successful going forward. You are strong enough and smart enough to figure this out. You have everything you need already.

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Step One

16 Nov

We have a lot of goals in our lives. There are many things we think about, things we want to do, and things we want to achieve. But having a goal is just the first step in accomplishing anything. Thinking about what we want to do is fine, but if we’re serious about achieving it, we have to do more. The famous French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” And that’s true. It’s fun to wish for things but if we want our wishes to become reality, we need to make a plan to accomplish them and then implement it. It takes action to succeed in anything. We can dream and wish and hope for things to happen, but nothing will ever change until we do something to make the change a reality.

When we seriously want something in our lives, we must do what it takes to get it. Sometimes it’s necessary to change what we’re used to or what we’ve been comfortable with.  Maybe we have to give up some free time, or we have to step out of our comfort zone and extend ourselves to those we don’t know. Maybe we have to let go of some long held fear. When what we really want means a great deal to us, we can make those sacrifices. But if we have to do something that scares us, or we’re intimidated by the process needed to get to the goal, it may take more courage than we initially anticipated. And then we’ll have to determine how much we want to succeed. If we really want to go forward, there is nothing that will stand in our way. We will do what it takes, no matter what that entails.

There is nothing we can’t do if we want to badly enough. There is no obstacle so large that it will prevent us from achieving our goal. We can do anything. But we must decide what we really want. They say we always do what we want to do most. That seems evident. If we say we want to change but keep doing the same things, the real truth is that we want things to stay the same. If we really want to change we have to embrace it and do what is needed to make it happen. If we keep doing the same things over and over again, change will never happen. Even if we talk about what we want to do, even if we think about it constantly, even if we dream about it, if we do nothing to change where we are, we will never achieve it.

Today if you’ve been dreaming about a change you want in your life, if you’ve been wishing for it and thinking about it, do one thing that will take you closer to it. Take the first step to start moving forward to the goal, and set a date to accomplish it. Then start doing what is needed to make it a reality. With every step you take you’ll be closer than you were before. You can do anything. Start now. There is nothing that will stop you or stand in your way. You have everything you need to succeed.

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