Hit and Run

12 Aug

Suppose as we approach our car in a parking lot after doing some shopping we see someone has hit it while we were inside.  There is no note anywhere with information about who did it.  There is nothing but a smashed up car we now have to deal with.  We’ve become the victim of a hit and run.  Somebody hit the car and simply drove away.  Unless there is a witness who saw the event and is willing to come forward with information, we’re stuck with the damage and making the repairs.  It’s unethical to damage anyone’s property and not take responsibility for it, but some people don’t care about ethics, or what is right.  And so we have to deal with what’s happened.  It’s cowardly to hit anyone or anything and run away afterward.  And when it happens to us we may feel angry, and frustrated.  There is no way to make things right if the offender has disappeared and we are stuck repairing the situation on our own.

Ethics is an interesting subject.  We define what is right and it’s ethical to maintain the standards we set.  It’s unethical to impose pain and suffering on others and not be accountable for it.  But if we want to we can make all kinds of excuses for bad behavior.  The idea of “situational ethics” comes into play.  It’s a convenient excuse when we know what we did was wrong, but feel the situation warranted it and we shouldn’t be responsible for it.  For instance, we miss an important turn as we’re driving somewhere and need to turn around.  There is a no U turn sign but we look around, don’t see anyone and do it anyway.  The situation called for us to turn around and go back, and since nobody saw us, there’s no harm.  But the problem with embracing situational excuses is there will always be a reason to compromise our values, and if there isn’t we can make one up.  We are what we do and if we want to be ethical and honest we must choose what is right even if nobody is looking.

They say the best way to cook a frog is to put it in cold water and slowly heat it up.  That way the frog won’t resist as the water slowly warms until it’s cooked.  When we make decisions that take us away from what we believe is right and then make excuses for them, we are in the water as it begins to heat up.  The next time a decision comes and we want to step out of our standards a little it will be easier because we’ve already stepped away before.  If we keep taking steps further and further away from where we want to be our perceptions of right and wrong will change and our standards will follow.  And like the frog, we’ll be cooked before we know it.  We have to decide what kind of person we really want to be.  If we want to be firm in our convictions we can’t risk wavering.  We can’t hit and run and hope it won’t matter.  What we do always matters.  We can be strong in making choices that keep us on the road we want to travel and define who we most want to be.

Today if you feel tempted to turn away from your standards just a little to accomplish something, hold fast.  Choose well and be firm in what you know is right.  You will prevail and earn the respect of those around you.  You are worth more than you can imagine and your influence on the world is great.  Make it the best influence it can be.

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Dealing

9 Aug

There are times in everyone’s life when things go wrong. There will be situations we can’t prevent and events we don’t want to endure. We have little control over what comes to us and no control over the decisions of others. Sometimes things will not be where we want them and there will be nothing we can do to change them. When that happens we have to cope with where we are and what’s going on. We have to deal with the situation as it is. It’s not easy to navigate times like these and we may feel frustrated, angry or sad. But if we really can’t change things we must accept them and walk through them as they are. Disappointments come and when they do we can keep moving forward. We are successful when we cope with difficult times and patiently work through them until they change. We can learn all we can as we go, and effectively navigate our course to the other side.

Learning to deal with disappointment and sorrow takes time. If we are stunned by something that’s happened unexpectedly we may lose our way for a moment. We may need some time to catch our breath and process what’s happened. If our foundation has been rocked, it may be hard to find our footing at first. But no matter what happens if we take our time to think about the situation and look at it objectively we will find our way through it and back to solid ground. We can deal and cope until things change.

Sometimes we think we could never go through certain experiences in life. We don’t feel we could survive extreme disappointments or sorrow, and can’t even think about them. But life continues on and even when we think we can’t go another minute, we do. Even when we think we’ve been overcome, we thrive. We wake up another day and find our way. We are resilient and steady in our ability to cope. If the wind is knocked out of us, we can catch our breath. If we are pushed down, we can get back up. If we are stunned, we can refocus. We can bounce back from anything that shakes us, and we can endure far more than we believe. There is no sorrow or disappointment strong enough or invasive enough to destroy us. We are capable of handling anything that comes and overcome it. We can take whatever time we need to find our way. No matter what happens, we will survive. And we will take the lessons learned and the strength we gained forward with us.

Today if you’re dealing with a difficult situation you cannot change, and you feel angry or upset, keep walking forward. You can handle anything that comes to you. You are strong and resilient and perfectly capable of managing this. You are getting braver and learning more each moment. Keep your eyes on the future. This will pass. Happiness is just around the corner.

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Quarter Turn

8 Aug

There are times when we’re working on a problem or dealing with others that things don’t go exactly as we want them to.  If there is contention or complications and they are persistent we can get hung up and stopped in our tracks.  If that continues we may become frustrated, feel it’s not worth the hassle, and consider completely abandoning our plans. Giving up is always an option but we don’t have to.  We don’t have to turn all the way around or exclude ourselves from any situation because it’s not going smoothly.  Sometimes a simple adjustment will change things.  A small quarter turn to the left or right can sometimes be all that’s needed to make things work.  Just a small adjustment in our thinking or our decisions may pave the road forward.  We may overlook small adjustments as possible solutions because they seem insignificant.  But a quarter turn that enables success is certainly worth consideration, and can sometimes change the whole picture and open doors going forward.

We all have ideas about how things should go.  If we make decisions about what needs to be done and are convinced it’s the best way forward it may be hard to hear other suggestions.  But everybody has their own perspective and sometimes we don’t know the whole story.  Others have valuable insight and if we listen and allow our plans to be modified we may more easily find success.  It’s impossible to know everything every time.  When things don’t go easily and there are roadblocks keeping us from success, listening to other suggestions and leaning a little toward them may correct our course.  Instead of completely quitting or giving up, we can adjust our trajectory and successfully get to the goal.

Life is rarely an “all or nothing” scenario.  There are few times when there is only one way to do things or only one option.  Generally there is flexibility in our decisions and more than one method that will bring success.  Being open to many ideas and suggestions will help us going forward.  Everyone has something to offer and different perspectives allow us to see things in new ways.  We can be open enough to hear them and lean a little here or there, perhaps making a quarter turn to enable success.  Being rigid and unwilling to listen gives us only one option – ours.  But hearing other suggestions and viewpoints and embracing them gives us many options, and many options can open many doors.  Success is the ultimate goal.  We don’t have to always do it our way.  We can hear as many ideas as possible to help us get where we want to go.

Today if you’re working on a situation but things aren’t moving as well as you hoped, ask for suggestions from others.  Listen to new perspectives and be open to trying another way.  We all have great ideas.  Hear them and adjust your path to find success.  You know what you want.  Turn a little and let others help you find it.

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Darkest Hour

4 Aug

Life is filled with all kinds of experiences. Some of them are wonderful but dark times come to us all. We have disappointments, sorrow, pain and suffering. If the trial is severe enough we may be devastated and feel overcome. We may face very dark times as we try to navigate our way through. They say the darkest hour is just before dawn. Dawn comes every single day. We can count on the light returning no matter what the night has brought. But just before it arrives, we will have endured the darkness for the longest period of time possible. When we are struggling and hurt, and when we feel lost and hopeless it’s like being in that last hour of darkness. We can’t feel the light of hope or the anticipation of happiness. We may feel oppressed and weak, but the light always returns. Always. There will never be a day when the light will not arrive and bring with it the chance for healing. Just before that happens we may feel at our worst but we can hang on and wait for the sun. Even in our darkest hour we can remember the sun will rise.

Sometimes when we are facing very difficult situations we feel they will break us. We may think we can’t endure them or we won’t survive. Although we know intellectually they probably won’t actually kill us, we might feel their impact will be so great that we’ll never be the same again. It’s true that every experience changes us in some way, but we can always take the lessons learned and apply them to our lives in ways that will help us and not hurt us going forward. In reality, there is no situation we can’t face. We have everything we need to navigate even the most challenging trials. We can be confident that no matter what we’re facing we will find the answers and survive.

Some believe that every time we struggle a small bit of us is chipped away never to return. Like blocks of ice being carved they believe we can never be the same after something has been broken away. But we are resilient and able to heal from whatever life brings us. We can restore ourselves in time and no matter what has been lost, be whole again. Life teaches us with each challenge and if we lose something we held before, we can replace it with a richer, more thoughtful understanding. What we gain from overcoming hardship deepens us and makes us stronger. The superficial is scratched away and deeper perception replaces it. Every experience brings information and as we go, even in the darkest hour, we become stronger and richer.

Today if you’re struggling with a trial and feel overwhelmed or uncertain, there is an answer and you will find it. You are capable of managing whatever comes to you and you will prevail. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Remember the light is just around the corner. The darkness will lift and you will find joy. Be strong. You have everything you need to conquer and find happiness.

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Failing With Glory

3 Aug

Sometimes our plans don’t work out and what we want to do fails.  Even if we do everything right and follow through effectively, there will be times when things go wrong and we don’t succeed.  There are thousands of reasons why it happens.  Maybe the influence of others involved stopped our progress.  Maybe the timing was wrong.  Maybe the idea was great but not a good fit.  We might see clearly at the end why things didn’t work out or we might never understand how we failed.  Failure is something we all experience from time to time.  We never plan on it and hope we don’t face it but we probably won’t succeed every time we try something.  Even if our plans fail, there is glory in doing our best.  If we did all we could, even if we fail we are magnified.  We can fail with glory if we were honorable and diligent in the struggle.  Failure doesn’t mean we can’t succeed, but an indication we need to change direction.  Despite the disappointment, we can learn from the experience, feel good about what we did accomplish, and move forward confidently.

Sometimes after we’ve failed at something we may see the new road we’re on is better than if we had succeeded.  We can’t see the future and when we’re striving to accomplish something we really don’t know exactly how it will look in the end.  We try to plan and prepare but there will always be unexpected developments and things we can’t see.  If we fail and it turns out the failure created a better situation than we would have had otherwise we feel happy.  It’s nice when things work out despite our plans falling through.  But we can feel happy even if the road we end up on isn’t better.  The glory is in the doing.  If we’ve done our best, we’ve learned new things and are wiser for the experience.  The end result isn’t where we grow.  Growth comes as we work toward the goal.  Not reaching it is disappointing but we can still be happy with what we learn and accomplish on the way.

They say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”  There is no limit to the number of times we can try to accomplish something.  We can get more information or find another way to get to the goal and try again.  If that doesn’t work we can try another way.  We can pursue anything for as long as we like and we may find success or we may be continually daunted.  If we try several times and can’t reach a goal we may set it aside and work on other things.  Sometimes timing is an issue and we need to wait for our lives or the situation to change before we can find success.  And there may be times when success isn’t possible and we have to change our plans.  We can let it go and move forward in another direction.  We can fail with glory, be happy with what we accomplished, and move forward.

Today if you’re facing failure for something you’ve worked hard on be happy with what you’ve done.  You’ve learned a lot and although the goal was not achieved, you know more now than you did before.  Go forward with confidence.  You will accomplish many great things.  Be brave.  Success will come again.

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