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Easy Way Out

2 Feb

Life is complicated and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that aren’t working for us and we want to change. We’re in charge of our lives and can change anything we wish, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to make changes, especially when others are involved. For instance, if we’re in a relationship that isn’t working and we no longer want to continue. The best we can do is to be honest and upfront, and tell the other person how we feel and that we want to move on in another direction. But sometimes we may think that’s too difficult, so instead we dodge them, stand them up for dates we’ve made, or don’t answer their calls. If we do that, we figure eventually they’ll get the idea and we’ll have made our exit without the uncomfortable conversation. We might think that’s the easy way out, but really it’s just the coward’s way out, and we can all do better than that. In most situations when we need to make a definite change, there really is no easy way out. If we want to handle it well, we have to be courageous and honest enough to state our feelings clearly, and then move forward on a new road.

Nobody wants to hurt others. We don’t want to make people feel bad, and we never want to be the bad guy. But if we need a change, and if we aren’t honest about it we have only two other options. We can continue to pretend that everything is fine, which never works over time, or we can try to find an easy way out, which often hurts everyone more in the end. We all have sufficient courage to stand up for what is right, and be honest. If the situation has been going on for a long time it will be harder than if it’s been a brief interchange. But long or short, if it has to change, we need to be open enough to make that happen. If we clearly, and openly express our feelings and explain what we want going forward, the other person may be hurt, but they will respect our honesty. They may not like what we have to say, but they will understand our decision.

Many of us are resistant to change. When things stay the same we know what to expect and that makes us comfortable. But we deserve to be happy, and if we aren’t happy with the way our lives are going we can make whatever changes are needed to bring happiness to us. It may be uncomfortable to initiate the change, and feel awkward at first while we set up new patterns, and decide on a new course, but if the end result is personal happiness, it’s worth whatever it takes. Change is a normal part of life. We all experience it every day. Life is fluid and the only thing we can really count on is that whatever we’re going through today will change at some point. If we decide we need to, we can make that change come sooner rather than later. This life is a gift. We only get one chance to live each day. It’s not worth wasting a single moment in a situation that makes us unhappy. We are in control of our lives and we can design them any way we want to. We have all the courage we need to correct any situation we’re in.

Today if you’re unhappy with a situation in your life, you can change it. Be honest and open about how you feel and what you want going forward. Asking for what you want doesn’t make you the bad guy. You deserve every happiness. Your life is precious. Don’t waste another moment being unhappy. Change what needs to be changed, and you’ll find the peace and comfort you deserve.

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Shortcuts

1 Feb

When we’re going places and we want to save time, sometimes we try shortcuts we think will help. They might help us avoid traffic, or cut the distance down to get us to our destination more quickly. They’re great when they work, but sometimes the shortcuts become complications instead. When that happens it’s frustrating and can cost us more time than the direct route would have. Our brilliant shortcut can turn into a headache. Our lives are like that sometimes. We know where we want to go and we have the road mapped out but then think we can find a way to cut some of the time out by eliminating a step or two, or going a different way. Sometimes it works, but many times it ends up costing us more time and aggravation than we planned on. It’s like get rich schemes. They look good at first and we get excited thinking about how quickly they’ll get us what we want, but often they end up costing us more time and money in the long run. We can’t see that going in, and unless we stop to think about what will happen if we don’t get rich quick, we can lose more than we bargained for.

Every destination has a road leading to it. We can go anywhere we want to go and sometimes we go on long journeys that take a lot of time and commitment. But the most important things we want to accomplish in our lives rarely come quickly. They take effort, planning, and diligence. We have to be willing to stay true when the inevitable complications come, and be strong enough to keep going. If we want the goal badly enough, nothing will take us from our course. But we might be distracted by a shortcut. For instance, we might think we don’t have to finish a degree to get that job, and try to learn the skills needed more quickly in another way. Or maybe we think we don’t have to earn a promotion by working hard for the next year, and instead try to befriend those in position to grant it. There are all kinds of scenarios we can think up. But in reality, short cuts for what we really want rarely work. Additionally, they take our focus off the plans we’ve already made. If we get distracted trying a different route, we can’t go further down the road that’s proven to get us there.

It takes patience to accomplish big goals. We can’t expect to achieve anything of value overnight. There are no get rich schemes that always work. If we really want something and there is a proven and sure way to get to it, even if it takes time, it’s worth the investment. We can spend our lives like bees in a field of flowers, flitting from one idea to the next, one path to another, and continually try to cut corners and find shortcuts. If we do, we may find precious time goes by and we have moved no closer to the goal. However, if we focus on one road, and keep our eyes trained on the destination we will succeed. It’s like the old story of the tortoise and the hare and the race they ran against each other.  As you may recall when the race began the hare took off and rocketed ahead, while the tortoise slowly began plodding along toward the finish line. The hare got distracted running here and there and jumping all over, and was way faster than the tortoise, but the tortoise never left the path to the destination. He slowly continued forward never taking his eyes from the goal. And we all know that’s exactly how he won. That’s how we’ll win too. We don’t need a shortcut to succeed. If we set the goal, make a plan, and diligently keep to the road that will take us there, we will not fail.

Today if you’ve got a goal in sight and are considering changing your plan and trying a shortcut, make sure it’s something that will continue to move you forward. There is no rush, and you can take the time you need to achieve whatever you want. There is nothing that will stop you if you keep your eyes on the goal. Keep moving forward. You will be successful and every moment you invest in gaining that success will be well spent.

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Heads or Tails

30 Jan

We have a lot of choices in life and make millions of decisions as we go along. What will we wear, what will we eat, where will we go, who will we see, what will we do, the list is endless. Sometimes the decisions we make are important and the way we choose alters our lives in one way or another. If we choose badly when there’s a lot at stake, we can lose a lot. If we choose well, we gain. But sometimes there is no one right answer. All the options are possible and appropriate. If all the roads we can take are good, how do we choose between one or another? It seems strange but at times like that, when every possibility is workable, those decisions can be the hardest to make. It’s like flipping a coin. There is no right side to the coin when we choose. It just depends on how it lands. If we’re considering which road to take and they all look good, perhaps it won’t matter which one we choose. But every road has an end, and every choice takes us somewhere. If we can determine exactly where we’ll be be at the end of the road, we will choose more effectively.

Ice cream comes in many flavors, and if we like ice cream, we probably like a lot of them. Chocolate is rich and deep, strawberry is light and fresh, butter pecan is creamy and incredible, mocha is amazing, and all the others have wonderful qualities as well. If we go to a shop with dozens of flavors, it’s hard to choose. It doesn’t really matter which one we pick because they’re all good. When we’re facing a decision with lots of possibilities, and they all look good at first, we can take some time to evaluate all the parameters of each choice, and we’ll be able to narrow the field. Then we can choose what most fits what we want to achieve. If it’s a decision we can only make once, we’ll have to weigh all the options more carefully. If it’s something we can change after we’ve started, and the first choice doesn’t work out, we can stop at any time and choose another road.

Our lives have no “re-do” option, like games we played as children. Once we do something, it’s done. It will always be done, and nothing we do can undo it. We can’t go back and edit or delete anything. It will stand as it happened until the end of time. That’s great if we always make the right choice. But mistakes happen and if we aren’t happy with a choice we’ve made, although we can’t go back and make it again, we can modify our lives, turn our course, and change direction. There are few things in our lives that can’t be adjusted or corrected. We can’t change what’s been done, but we can change ourselves, and where we’re headed going forward. We are in control of our lives and every decision we make. If we aren’t happy, we can do what is needed to change things. If we aren’t where we want to be, we can alter our course to another direction. There isn’t anything we can’t do. Making decisions will help us find our way. Making them well, will take us where we want to go.

Today if you’re unsure about a decision you need to make, and all the options look good, take a closer look. You’ll notice differences and find the one that fits the best. You already know where you want to go and what you want to do. Choose the choice that takes you there. You can do anything you want. You are perfectly capable of making excellent choices. Today you will do just that.

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Exfoliating

29 Jan

As we go through life, each experience gives us something to take forward. We learn something new, or gain a different perspective, or maybe discover something new about ourselves. We collect and hold onto these souvenirs each day and they color who we are and how we act and react. Some of them are beneficial and we use them to help us be our best and get where we want to go. But some of them are painful reminders of where we’ve been. If the memories hurt they may influence our decisions as we continue on, and may keep us from fulfilling our greatest ambitions. But we can choose to let them go. We can take a good look inside ourselves, see where our insecurities lie, look at how we lost our confidence, and we can change. Like exfoliating dead skin cells from the outside, we can remove bad reactions on the inside. We don’t have to hold onto the pain of bad memories any longer than we want to. The memories will always be there but we can scrub the pain away and keep the memory and the lesson learned.

We all experience good things and bad things. When we’ve had a very painful event, one that is etched deeply in our subconscious or something that changed our lives in a big way, it may be hard to overcome. If we’ve been hurt badly and had to learn a difficult lesson, we may hold onto the pain afraid that letting it go will make us forget what we learned. Although lessons are sometimes painful, the pain is not inexorably tied to the lesson. We can go forward with what we’ve learned and leave the pain behind. Holding onto feelings of sadness, betrayal, loss or distrust will not help us move forward. They may hold us in place, and keep us from advancing afraid of what will come if we let go. But letting go is the best we can do. Once we’ve learned all we can, we can set the experience aside, and look to the future.

Fear is a natural response and nature’s way of keeping us from harm. When we feel it, we step a little more carefully and proceed with caution. There is nothing wrong with feeling afraid but it’s important to understand why we’re feeling it. Is it because there is real danger, or is it because we are unsure? Is it because we may be hurt, or because we aren’t positive we won’t be? We carry every experience of our lives with us every day. If we hold onto those that hurt us, we may be less confident, and more fearful. But we don’t need to carry painful experiences any longer than we want to. We can let them go and leave them behind. We are capable of facing anything that comes to us. And we are capable of recovering from any problem or crisis. We just need to be determined in our pursuits, and convinced of our abilities. We have everything we need to be strong and confident, and we can conquer any obstacle placed before us. Letting go of the heavy burden of pain will help.

Today if you’re struggling because of something that has already passed, you can turn around and let it go. You’ve learned all you can from the experience and it has not diminished you. It has made you stronger and more capable. You know more now than you did before and you’ll use that knowledge going forward. You have everything you need now. You can do anything you want. You are strong. Be confident knowing you will succeed. There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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The Plague

28 Jan

There are times we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone else. Perhaps angry words were said or exchanged, maybe somebody did something hurtful, or we simply cannot get along. People are complex and sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like. Because it’s not pleasant and we don’t like the interaction, we may decide to avoid the other person as much as possible. If we see them coming down a hall we’re walking, we may take a sharp turn to get out of their sight. If they try to talk to us, we may mumble something and walk away, or if they send us messages or leave them on our phone, we may ignore or delete them. It’s painful to be near someone who’s hurt us, or with whom we can’t get along, and avoiding them seems like a good answer. Maybe we figure if we avoid them long enough they will eventually go away. That might work, but sometimes the exact opposite occurs and they try even harder to get our attention. The whole situation is uncomfortable, but we can get through it and we don’t have to avoid them like the plague to navigate the situation. We have other options.

If the other person is at our workplace and we don’t have the option to quit our jobs and must work with them, or if they’re in our social circle and we don’t want to give that up, we have to find a solution. If the situation is so intense that we feel physically ill at the thought of dealing with them, the first step is to understand why we feel so bad. Once we determine what is actually causing our pain we can find a way to address it. If we’ve been hurt by something that was said, we can understand that just because someone says something, even if they believe it, doesn’t make it true. We know who we are and those who know us will recognize falsehood when they hear it. If it’s something that was done, we can understand that nothing is permanent and any damage can be corrected. If we peel back the onion on our pain, and determine the root causes, we can address them and begin to heal.

Some people are disagreeable no matter what we do. Maybe they have bad attitudes, or are intensely moody and negative, or are continually angry. We can’t change anyone but ourselves and if we’re forced to deal with someone like that, we can choose to be true to who we are and do our best no matter what choices they make. If we are insulted, we may calmly state we don’t appreciate the comment, let it go, and move on. If they do something that offends us, we can bring it to their attention, explain why it was offensive and ask them not to do it again. It takes effort to think about a situation before we act, but when we do we’ll have better success at keeping our standards where we want them, and remaining positive. It’s never pleasant to be hurt or offended. It makes us feel bad, and we may doubt our worth for a moment. But we have all we need to hold our heads high, say what is needed when appropriate, and be who we are despite the difficulty. We can be cheerful in the face of calamity, and positive when others are disagreeable. There is nothing that is too hard for us. We can do anything we want even if it’s difficult.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who has hurt you, or insulted you, or made you feel less than you are, stand strong. Make the best choices possible. Say what is needed to feel confident. You are a priceless gift. If someone doesn’t recognize that, it’s their loss, not yours. Set the example for good. You are worth the very best of everything.

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