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Number One

24 Oct

We live in a world with billions of people and there are more and more of us each day. Unless we live somewhere in the wilderness or someplace so remote that we are the only one inhabiting it, we will see others around us all the time. They pass us on the street, in our cars, in the store, and everywhere we go. Having compassion for them, helping them, and acknowledging them makes the world a better place. But some of us have the idea that we need only look out for number one – ourselves. They make sure all their needs and wants are met before they are willing to extend themselves, and when they do, there must be something in it for them. There are benefits to looking out for number one, and we certainly are responsible for taking care of ourselves. However, if we become the primary focus in our lives all the time, and if we have to benefit every time we do something, we might forget how important our connections are to those around us.

Most of us have a lot to take care of each day. We have our personal needs, our jobs, our schools, our families, and a dozen other things that require our attention. If we wanted to we could make sure not to commit to anything unless there is some bonus for us. We could ignore the phone when it rings because we don’t want to be bothered, pretend not to hear when others call our name because we don’t want to interrupt what we’re doing, and just focus on ourselves. If we do this routinely, we will be effective in making our lives the most important part of our days, but we will probably alienate everyone else who is close to us. There is nothing wrong with doing things we enjoy or making our choices a priority, and we should do everything important to us. But there needs to be a balance. We can do those things and still extend ourselves to those around us, and participate in the group.

Belonging to a community, interacting with others, extending our hands in friendship, and helping out, bring us great satisfaction and contentment. We learn about others, we exchange new ideas with them, and our lives are enriched because of the experiences we share. If we isolate ourselves from them, determined to just look out for number one, and see only what’s important to us, we miss the valuable experience of connecting. Feeling connected is important. It gives us a sense of foundation, a base, and makes us feel stronger, and safer. When we take the time to share ourselves, we develop relationships that brings us happiness, and we build a network of people who care about us. Others we can depend on, people who will help us when we need it, and buoy us up when we feel down. It’s a wonderful blessing to have the care of others, and we get that care when we extend it ourselves. It’s true that no man is an island. We’re all in this together. Remembering that will help us stay connected and find our place.

Today if you’ve been focusing on yourself and getting what you want, don’t forget those around you. They need your influence and welcome your attention. Extend yourself to them, care for them, and let them care for you. You have a lot to share, and they want to share in return. Be connected and reach out. The rewards will be great, and you’ll be happier.

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Different Versions

22 Oct

There are a lot of various situations in our lives, and in each experience we react in a different way. Sometimes we’re having fun and it’s easy to play along. Other times we have to think about a situation to figure out how to navigate it. And sometimes, we may have no idea how to react to something that catches us off guard. While we’re always the same person, different versions of our personality come into play depending on what we’re going through. We have a lot of reactions, expressions, emotions, and displays of affection we draw from every day. We try to always be the best version of ourselves, and often we’re successful. But if the situation really pushes our buttons, the version we display may not be the one that shows our best attributes.

Everyone gets angry from time to time and people disagree. It’s hard to trust those who say they never argue or fight with others. If that’s the case, it seems they either have no opinions that are important to them, or they just go along with whatever is happening. Of course, there are a few who are so evolved they are able to navigate any situation without disharmony, but that is rare. We are all individuals and nobody is exactly like us, so it’s likely we’ll have disagreements with others now and again. When we get upset and something really bothers us, if we jump on it instead of taking a breath and taking time to collect our thoughts, we might say something rude or act out in a way that doesn’t work in our favor. When our emotions are high and we’re angry, if we want the best version of ourselves to come forward, it’s wise to step away for a time until we feel in control.

Defining who we really are, and what we really want takes time. We have to decide what we really believe in, and what defines us. If we are easily influenced by others and impressed by trends, we may just go along and mimic those around us. If we’re timid and shy, instead of expressing ourselves we may choose to be quiet and try to blend in. But determining who we are is important and although others may tell us who they think we are, it’s up to us to decide what’s right. Once we determine what we believe, what we want, and who we are, we can live our lives according to those dictates. We can hold fast to things that are important to us, and be exactly the way we choose. The best version of us is always the honest one. If we live true to who we really are we’ll be happy, and if we stay true to our principles, we’ll be trusted and respected. We can offer our best every day, and we can do it our way.

Today if you’re being pulled one way and another, if you’re being influenced and feel confused or conflicted, think about yourself. Be honest and present who you really are to those around you. You are perfect just as you are. You are unique and valuable. The world is a better place because you’re here. The real you is your best version. Be confident in sharing that.

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Belonging

21 Sep

There is an elderly couple in my neighborhood that walk together every day.  When they go out they both wear gloves and carry plastic grocery sacks with them.  As they walk along, they pick up any litter they see.  The neighborhood is in good repair and most people take care of their property but there is still some litter blown around and they take it upon themselves each day to pick it up.  They are part of our community and this is their way of helping out.  Community is something most of us appreciate but seems to be getting lost in this day of technical overload.  It’s the feeling that we belong to a group where we know one another, and look out for one another.  More and more it seems people are forgetting to converse with their neighbors, get to know those around them, and build a sense of community.  A lot of us are stuck on our smartphones or computers and neglect personal interaction.  But personal interaction is important.  We all want to feel like we belong, and the only way that can happen is if we look up, and speak up.

There is great worth in getting to know those who live and work around us.  If we take the time to build relationships with them, they become our friends and are no longer strangers.  Then if something happens that affects us, we can support one another, help one another, and be there when needed.  Working together toward a common goal can help build those relationships.  If we get involved and extend ourselves to help out with regional and area projects, we’ll have the opportunity to meet others who are joining in.  The more people we meet around us, the more we build relationships, and the more sense of belonging we’ll feel.

There is a saying that no man is an island.  It’s true.  None of us is alone throughout our entire existence.  People come and go around us, and if we take the time to interact with them, say hello, and get to know them, we will feel more connected.  When we feel more connected our sense of belonging increases.  Of course, if want to we can certainly keep to ourselves, look down when we pass others, look away when someone looks at us, and keep our focus just on our own lives.  But if we do that we miss the great opportunity to share who we are with those around us.  We all have personal gifts, and special behavior traits unique to each of us.  Those gifts and traits can embellish the lives of those around us.  Even on our worst day, if someone smiles and says hello, we are lifted.  And we can offer the same to others.  We’re all in this together.  It’s a great blessing to share ourselves and allow others into our lives.

Today if you’ve been focusing on yourself and your life, try to remember those around you.  You have a lot to offer, and your smile and simple “hello” may lift someone else’s day, and open the door to a new relationship.  Take the time to get to know those you see regularly, and extend yourself to build those relationships.  It’s better to be surrounded by friends than strangers.  You have the power to make that happen.  Share yourself with those around you.  You have a lot to offer and they’ll be happy to know you.  Make it point to belong and include others in your life.

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Under the Influence

20 Aug

Every day as we go about our lives, we are exposed to other people. We may talk with them, spend time with them, and get to know them. As we share our lives, we learn things about each other, and we have the opportunity to exchange ideas. They will learn from us, and we will learn from them. What we learn depends on our relationship with them, their authority over us, our respect for them, and how they live their lives. If they are people we admire, we will appreciate their influence, and may try to emulate them. And the same is true for them. If they admire us, they will appreciate us, and may adopt some of our behaviors and actions.

We are responsible for everything we do, and we must answer for every action, both positive and negative. That responsibility includes how our behaviors affect others. If we are rude and mean, and negatively impact someone else, we will answer for that. Defending bad behavior, saying we learned it from our families, or we are just giving back what we’ve been given, will not excuse us from hurting others. There is no excuse that will take away hurt feelings. However, if we are kind and patient, and lift those around us, we will answer for those attributes as well. We rarely, if ever, receive any blessings in our lives when we are badly behaved. When we hurt others through commission or omission, it does not elevate us. If this is a pattern in our personalities, the chances for personal growth and development will be hindered. But if we are kind and gracious, if we are patient and helpful, rewarding blessings will return to us.

When we are considerate to those around us, they are often considerate to us in return. If those we interact with come to know us as patient and caring, and as someone they can trust, we are more likely to build strong relationships that are positive. Because everything we do affects those around us, it’s important to remember that although we have the right to live our lives any way we see fit, almost everything we do will impact someone near us. We can be the ones who set the standard for kindness, who wait a little longer and are a bit more patient, and who offer encouragement instead of criticism. If we do these things, those around us will find comfort in their relationships with us. There is already enough suffering in the world. We can do our part to ensure we don’t increase it by being kind, caring, patient, and loving, and making sure our influence is positive.

Today take care and pay attention to your behavior when you interact with others. Remember to be patient and show you care so that those around you will learn they can trust you, and be comfortable with you. Be kind, be caring, and be supportive. You will never regret the blessings you will gain. Share the good you have to offer. It will return to you tenfold.

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Light

11 Jul

There are so many people in and out of our lives all the time. We have family, friends, acquaintances, and people we meet in passing. Every time we interact with them we have the chance to be a light in their lives. We have the chance to lift their hearts, make them feel valued, and show we care. There is a lot of darkness in this world. Crime, death, disasters, wars – we hear, and read about them constantly. But there is light as well. And we can be part of that if we so choose.

It’s sometimes hard to feel like we fit in, and sometimes we may feel alone. It seems we are more isolated today than in years past. All the technology makes it easy to communicate without spending time with others. Instead of a phone call on our birthday, we may get an email message. It’s nice to be remembered but without the personal interaction, it doesn’t mean as much. More and more we have lost the need to meet and talk in person, to call and chat, or to spend social time with our friends and family. As a result, we are more separate and apart, and that can make us feel alone and lonely, even surrounded by others.

When people feel left out, or lonely, it’s hard for them to be happy. They can feel forgotten by others, and sad. We have the opportunity every day to be a light to those around us. We can lift them by just showing that we care. We can show we are aware of them by saying hello when we pass them. We can support them by stopping for a moment to ask how they’re doing, and really listen when they talk to us. We can call those we haven’t seen in a while just to say hello, and remind them that we are thinking about them. And we can plan to spend more time together with those we’re close to so they remember we love them. We can share a smile with everyone we meet, and we can extend the hand of friendship. This world can be a lonely place, and it can be dark, and sad. If we care, we can lift others, and bring a smile. We can be the ones to bring the light.

Today try to extend yourself to someone around you. Say hello, have a short conversation, ask how they are, and let them know you are aware of them, and that you care. Tomorrow do it again with someone new. Share your light with others who may feel alone. If you light one candle with another, you have two flames without diminishing the first. The world needs all the light it can find. You have enough to share. Be the one to share your light today.

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