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Another Day

7 Mar

When we’re hoping for something or anticipating a change, and if we’ve been working hard to make it happen but are still waiting, it may be hard to be patient. Some things take a long time to arrive and if we’ve been waiting a long time it may seem as though they will never happen. Time takes a toll on us and we may become frustrated with the continual delay. If the change we’re seeking involves the decisions of others, they have control over the situation. If we must wait on them and they haven’t yet budged, waiting may become very difficult. If it becomes more than we want to deal with or we’ve decided we’ve had enough we may choose to let it go. If the change we are seeking is very important to us and we feel strongly about it becoming reality we might choose to wait a little longer. We can decide to wait just one more day. Just one day. We can choose to be patient for a little longer and go a little further. If we choose to give it one more day and still nothing changes, we may then decide how we want to proceed. We may wait one more day, every day, for a long time or we may let go of the plan. Our circumstances change continually and sometimes if we redirect our course we may be able to accomplish what we’ve been waiting for. Other times no matter what we do nothing changes. We can decide what we want to do and what is best for us. We can wait or we can go. Whatever we decide we will find our way forward.

The only person we have control over is ourselves. Sometimes we may influence those around us and if we’re very persuasive may convince them to do things our way. But everyone has the right to make their own decisions and if their decisions don’t agree with ours we may have to find other options. There are countless roads to every destination. We can accomplish anything we choose but we may need to revise our plans going forward to get to the goal. If we can’t get there now, we can set the goal aside for a time until our circumstances change and then try again. We don’t have to push constantly to win. We can revise our plans when needed and decide what will work best going forward.

Waiting for something we really want can be difficult. It’s hard to want something badly when there are obstacles in our way. If we have no control over what is needed to make things change and have done all we can to move forward, waiting may become a heavy burden. We can carry that burden for as long as we choose. We can wait indefinitely or we can decide to wait just one more day and then reconsider. We are in control of our lives and we deserve every happiness. If what we’ve been seeking hasn’t yet happened, we may continue to wait or we may consider other options. Either way, the choice is always ours.

Today if you’ve been waiting for something you really want and it hasn’t happened yet, decide how you want to go forward. You can wait another day or you can redirect your course. You deserve to be completely happy and have control over your life. Choose what will bring you the most joy going forward.

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The Water is Wide

26 Sep

There are times in our lives when we simply cannot get to our goals alone. Although we accomplish much, there will be moments when the water is too wide to cross by ourselves and we need the help of others to get across. If we are very independent, it may be hard to accept assistance. If we are shy, we may be afraid to ask. If we are arrogant, we may try to do it ourselves even when we know it’s impossible. Getting help when we need it is beneficial. It’s wise to understand our limitations and asking for help doesn’t mean we’re weak or incapable. Nobody can do everything. When we need others to get across and ask for help it shows we are strong enough to accept the situation and work around it. If we want to do it alone we may feel disappointed that we need support and it might be hard to admit we can’t get there on our own. But the goal we’re seeking is the focus. If we can’t get to it alone, working with others will often help us achieve it. We are capable of understanding the big picture and finding a way to succeed even if we can’t do it by ourselves.

Personal success is defined in many ways. Some people prefer to accomplish many things alone and like to fly solo in their endeavors. If they hit a snag they can’t navigate by themselves, instead of including others they may change their plans to get around it. They eventually find their way but it may take longer than if they had asked for the assistance of others. We all have different talents and perspectives. If we allow others to share theirs with us, we often find the answers more quickly. We can embrace the experiences of others and invite them into our journey to navigate the path forward more easily. Listening to many other interpretations of the situation may bring us the answers we’re seeking. We can open up and bring others in and get the help we need.

Competition is a normal part of the human experience. Some of us are more competitive than others and if we need to feel like the winner in every endeavor, we may try to get to our goals before anyone else. There is reward in being first but there is much to be learned by collaborating. If we’re in a situation that stops us and are struggling to find our way through, allowing others to collaborate and share in the victory may help us find our way to success more easily. But if our desire to do it alone supersedes our willingness to allow others in, success may elude us. There is much to be gained by allowing others into our journey. We are capable of doing many things well, and often we won’t need assistance. But when we do, the door is always there for us. Opening it and allowing others in will help us get to the goal we’re seeking. And getting to the goal is the primary objective.

Today if you’ve been struggling with something that has you stumped and aren’t sure how to proceed, ask those around you for their advice and counsel. You may be surprised by what you learn and you’ll find your way to the other side. The water may be wide but by working together you will find your way across. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Get the help you need and you’ll succeed every time.

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Seeing and Believing

27 Jun

Most of the time we think we see ourselves as we really are.  We think we know who we are and how others see us.  But it’s possible we aren’t seeing ourselves objectively and sometimes we may be wrong about how we appear to those around us.  For instance, we might think we seem quite sedentary because we don’t like to work out but in fact others might see us busily doing things most of the time and think we’re quite active.  Or we might think we’re intense because we can feel all our emotions while others think we are easy going. It takes effort to see everything objectively but if we step back and really look at what we’re doing we can get a better picture of who we really are.  Part of the reason we miss our personal cues are the expectations we set for ourselves.  If we set very high standards for ourselves and don’t meet them, we may judge critically and reflect the perceived deficiency as failure.  But we don’t need to do that.  It’s possible we’re doing better than we think we are.   And it’s also possible we aren’t seeing that.  If we step back and really look objectively as an outsider sees us we may find we look different than we thought.  And we might even find we look great.

Personal expectations can be very high.  Sometimes when we set them we expect to achieve them right away.  Expecting to change immediately just because we’ve decided we want it never works.  It takes time and effort to do things in new ways and adopt new behaviors.  We need time for the adjustment it takes to get there.  If we can change our thinking to consider our personal expectations instead as personal goals and then make a plan to achieve them we’ll feel more confident as we’re learning the new pattern.  Nobody’s life is perfect and we all want to make changes from time to time.  Anticipating immediate change will defeat us.  We can allow time to learn new behaviors we want to adopt and then clearly see the steps we’re making each day that take us closer to them.  If we acknowledge our progress as we’re moving closer to where we want to be we’ll be more self-assured and confident that we’ll succeed.

Even if we’re capable of seeing others objectively as they are, we may struggle to see truth when evaluating ourselves.  We are often harder and more critical of ourselves than we are of others.  We may expect to do things right every time, to never falter, and to achieve everything we set out to do without problems.  It’s fine to set lofty goals but our lives are never defined by unmarred lines in the sand.  We are fluid and will sometimes make choices that aren’t perfect.  There is no way to prevent wavering from time to time.  It’s the overall picture that counts.  If our feet are pointed in the right direction, and if we strive to do the best we can at every turn, we are doing well.  We aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes.  But if we can look at the big picture of who we really are despite our imperfections we may see that we are more accomplished and capable than we thought.  We do a lot of things well, and we do some things very well.  Seeing those honestly will bring us confidence and clarity as we move forward.

Today if you feel you’re less than you want to be, step back and look at yourself objectively.  You may see you have more going for you than you thought.  You have accomplished many wonderful things already.  Acknowledge them and be confident. You have all you need to be successful in everything you choose going forward.

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Invisible

18 Jan

There are times in our lives when we get into situations where we feel we aren’t being heard. Sometimes it feels like we aren’t even being seen. Those around us may be wrapped up in their own lives or something is consuming their attention to such an extent that no matter what we do, or what we say, we can’t get in. It’s very difficult when it’s someone or a situation we care deeply about. We want to be heard and acknowledged and when that doesn’t happen we can feel lost and unappreciated. We all have something to contribute in every situation. We are all valuable and unique, and our perspective needs to be heard. But if others are distracted by their own needs and wants they may not be able to see anything but themselves. And when that happens we may feel unwanted, unneeded, and somehow unworthy. But none of that is true. We are all needed and certainly worthy of being heard. We all have great value but feeling invisible may make us forget that for a time.

If we aren’t being acknowledged our ideas can’t be heard. We have a lot to offer, and if we want to be included we cannot shrink when we’ve been ignored. We need to stand firm, and clearly and calmly state our position. Sometimes we may have to state it more than once to get the attention we deserve, and we can do that. We can be tenacious, and patient and keep trying until we break through. Giving up will never take us where we want to go. We must be determined to be successful. We don’t have to raise our voices to be heard, and sometimes speaking quietly and patiently will get us the attention we need. We can assess the situation and determine the best method for getting through, and then using that method, we will succeed. If we really want to be heard, we can’t shrink and turn away but need to stay on course.

Sometimes we don’t feel invisible because we’re being ignored, but because we’ve been hurt or offended, and want to disappear until the situation improves. But being invisible and trying to disappear are just ways of hiding from the situation, which doesn’t change anything. We are where we are at all times. Trying to hide, and keep a low profile, and trying to be invisible won’t help us resolve whatever issue we’re dealing with. The best we can do is be present, offer our voice, and participate going forward despite the disappointment and pain we’ve already endured. Our presence is important and there isn’t any situation, problem or complication that will come to us that we can’t resolve. Hiding from it will only make the situation last longer than it needs to. We can’t fix something we aren’t willing to face. So we must be in the moment, facing everything that comes, and resolving every difficulty. We can do anything. We are capable enough and brave enough to manage whatever comes to us. We can do it in the open, and make choices that will resolve any issue.

Today if you feel invisible and that others aren’t hearing you, or if you’ve been hiding and trying to disappear, step up, express yourself calmly and clearly, and state your position. Be tenacious and patient, and remember who you are. Your ideas are valuable. We all need to hear from you. Share your voice today and show us the way.

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Expectations

14 Jan

We all have expectations about our lives. We set goals, work toward them and expect to succeed. Every time we do something we expect a certain result. Sometimes those expectations are realized exactly as we planned, and sometimes they go another way. We can have great expectations about what we want from others, and if we are able to effectively communicate them, and those involved are willing to comply, we may get exactly what we’re hoping for. But again, sometimes things go another way. If our expectations are too high we may be disappointed, and if they are too low we may not get the results we were hoping for. We need to find the balance between what we want to happen and how we’ll get there. If we think about that and plan accordingly we might have a better chance of getting where we want to be. But finding the right balance isn’t always as easy as it sounds. And when we miss the mark we often miss the goal as well.

If we want others to work with us and make plans that include responsibilities above what they can or want to provide we will not find success. Perhaps we’ve been in situations where what we’ve been expected to provide is more than we could accomplish. It’s an uncomfortable situation and even if we know going in that it’s impossible for us to accomplish, we may try anyway. But expectations are just a belief that something will or should happen. They are a plan for the future. We are living today and there is no way to predict what will come. We can plan and make decisions about what we want, but realizing those plans and decisions depends on a lot of factors. If we aren’t careful when we set our expectations, we may fail.

How can we find a happy medium, the place where our expectations stretch us but don’t prevent us from success? If our goal involves a big change it won’t happen overnight. Rome wasn’t built in a day and we probably won’t make big changes in one either. To be successful we can make many smaller goals that one by one will lead us to the final achievement. And we must be prepared for all the complications that undoubtedly will arise along the way. But if we take the time to objectively look at where we are, where we want to be, and what we need to do to get there, and then set intermediate goals along the way, we will succeed. We need to consider everything in our lives, all the time pressures, our financial limitations, our responsibilities, and then make a plan that is both workable and adaptable. When we want something we sometimes want it right away but life doesn’t work that way. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. But expecting any change requires planning. Setting up realistic expectations is the first step. Once we begin we can plan each step as we go forward and if we’re consistent and diligent, keeping our eyes on the prize, we will reach the goal.

Today if you’re deciding on a change, and making expectations for how it will come about, plan carefully. Consider the entire picture and then determine how you’ll go forward. You can succeed at anything you want to do. Take it one step at a time, adjust your path as needed and move forward. The goal is attainable and you will reach it. You have everything you need to get anywhere you want to go. Start today. Expect the best and then plan for it.

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