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Knock Knock

4 Dec

There are a lot of things to learn and do in this life.  As we accomplish one, we’re ready to move on to the next.  Sometimes we take classes, sometimes we travel, sometimes we read, and sometimes we rely on others to teach us something new.  As we interact with all the people who come in and out of our lives, everyone knows something they can share with us.  When we meet those with the skills we’re looking for, it’s an opportunity to ask questions, and seek information.  But sometimes out of uncertainty, or because we aren’t sure how it will be received, we fail to engage the other person on the subject to discover what they can share.  Opportunity may come knocking, but if we don’t open the door our chance may be lost.

We don’t want to impose on others or their time, and sometimes even when we really want to talk about something, we aren’t confident asking.  Most people are happy to share what they know, and if they can’t do it when we ask, they are often willing to meet with us later.  It’s up to us to open the door and begin the conversation even when we don’t know what will come of it.  They might not be interested in sharing, or they may take a lot of time guiding us, and showing us what we want to know.  But we’ll never find out unless we forge ahead and ask.  We must be confident enough to take the first step.  They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and that’s true.  If we never put our foot forward, we’ll never get where we want to go.

Opportunities may come to us in unexpected ways, and in unexpected places.  We may have a passing conversation with someone who mentions something we’re interested in.  If we ask about it, even if they aren’t the ones to guide us, they may know someone who can share with us.  Or we might see someone doing something that relates to what we want to learn, and we can approach them for information.  For instance, if we’re interested in learning how to paint landscapes and we see someone taking photographs of them, we might strike up a conversation and ask if they know anyone who paints them.  It’s surprising how many contacts we already have and often referrals we need may come just by speaking up.  We can do anything we want to do, and if we pay attention, we can find someone to teach us how.

Today if you’ve wanted to learn something but haven’t done anything to move forward, start the conversation.  Talk to your friends and associates and share your ideas.  Be confident asking if they know about the topic or can refer you to someone who does.  You may be surprised at how helpful others are, and you may find exactly what you’re looking for.  Take the first step on the journey today.  Before you know it you’ll be well on the road to learning exactly what you want, and your life will be fuller and richer because you reached out.

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Waves

2 Sep

When I was a child our family spent several weeks one summer on an island off the coast of North Carolina.  The beach was beautiful, and I would play in the surf but only up to my knees.  I was afraid of the waves and watched the water very carefully.  When the tide came in the waves would get quite large and one day my sister and I were playing in the sand too close to the water, and a wave washed over us and dragged us away from the shore.  We didn’t go far and our father grabbed us and pulled us back.  I was quite terrified, certain we were going to die, and seeing my distress, after that day he began to teach me about the waves.  He told me they were safe but I needed to learn how to manage them.  He took me into the water when the waves were small and taught me that if I planned for them, I would be fine.  Each day we went into the water and as the waves got bigger and bigger, and I got scared, my father encouraged me to be confident and told me I could manage whatever came.  Day by day my confidence grew as I learned about the water, and before long I was body surfing and hoping for bigger and bigger waves.

When we are facing new things we may feel unsure.  Because we haven’t managed the parameters of the new situation before, it may be daunting or even frightening.  We may lack confidence in our ability to do it.  When we’re facing new processes or experiences we’re sometimes hesitant going forward.  But we can prepare by taking small steps.  If we put our feet in just a little, and try doing a small part first and get comfortable, we can then move forward.   It’s like conquering the small waves.  If we take it step by step we will gain confidence and manage the project, whatever it is.

A man I know called me once some time ago expressing his concern over an assignment to teach a course.  He was convinced he couldn’t do it, and sure he would faint or be struck dumb in front of the participants.  He was well educated and generally interacted with others quite easily but he was terrified about being the center of attention.  We talked about it and he decided to practice with friends before the event.  He had several practice sessions, each going more easily than the previous one, and when it was time for his presentation he did well.  He conquered the small waves over and over and when the big wave came he was ready.  Success is often just about preparation.  We can do anything if we have the courage to face it and the will to conquer it.

Today if you’re facing something new that is giving you pause, and if you are uncertain about going forward, take one small step toward the goal.  Do one small thing to start the learning process and conquer that.  Tomorrow do another and keep moving forward until you feel confident and sure.  You can do anything you want.  You can learn and you can grow.  Take it one small wave at a time and soon you’ll be in the front of the line showing others how it’s done.

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Into the Unknown

24 Jul

What if someone offered you anything you wanted if you would do something for them?  The catch was they wouldn’t tell you what you had to do until after you agreed to doing it.  Would you take that leap?  Would you risk it to get to the prize?  It’s impossible to know what lies ahead in our lives.  We try to set things up so we feel safe, but sometimes we’re faced with a situation where we have to go forward into the unknown.  It’s disconcerting not to know where a journey is taking us, or what will happen when we get there.  It might be a great surprise that will bring us joy, or it might go the other way.   The routines of our lives give us the illusion of security, but really nothing is guaranteed.  Although it may be unsettling to do something completely new and strange, it can enhance our experiences.  If we only do the same things every day we don’t get the chance to stretch.  And stretching teaches us about life.

Sometimes we have the opportunity to take on dramatic changes in our lives.  Perhaps we are offered a new job that’s a step up, but is in a new location far different from where we’ve ever been before.  Maybe it’s an opportunity to travel to a strange and distant place where customs are vastly different from our personal experiences.  Or perhaps it’s the chance to be involved with others whose beliefs and lifestyles are extraordinarily different than our own.  Experiences like these may be foreign to us, and may cause us some discomfort as we go through them.  But if we allow ourselves the opportunity to venture into the unknown, we may learn things about ourselves and others that will be valuable.

One time I was asked to volunteer for an event at the local arena.  I didn’t know what was scheduled for that night, but I agreed to help out.  When I showed up, I discovered the event was extremely foreign to me, and the attendees were unlike anyone I was accustomed to interacting with.  I was assigned to work the concession stand for the evening with several others.  It was  interesting, and unusual to work with people who were so different than me.  Afterward I reflected on the experience.  I was way out of my comfort zone, and yet it had been rewarding.  I learned a lot about myself and those I interacted with.

Today if you’re offered the opportunity to do something you’ve never done before, something that may be somewhat unsettling, think about it before you say no.  There is a lot to be gained by stretching our experiences into areas that are unusual for us.  Try something new.  It will enhance your understanding of life, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn about yourself.  This life is an adventure.  Today, stretch it a little.   Step into the unknown and take a look from the other side.  Your perspective will be enriched in ways you cannot imagine.

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What’s the worst that can happen?

31 Mar

One day while driving through town with my son, the man in the car in front of me threw some trash out the window. Incensed, I laid on the horn and shook my finger at him through the windshield. My son went nuts. “What are you doing? That guy could have a gun and just pull over and shoot you for that! Is it worth that for a little litter?” I told him he was over reacting. The odds of that guy actually being so angry that he’d shoot me over my horn blast was absurd. But was it? I began to think about the situation in a different way. Every day we read incredibly horrible stories about people doing things out of anger just like my son was warning me about. Hmmm. That experience made me ponder my situation a bit more carefully.

What if, before we make a decision we thought about the worst possible outcome. What is the worst thing that could happen? Even if it’s unlikely that the worst possible scenario would actually happen, what if we thought about what that would be before we made our decisions. What if? I mean even if the odds are strongly against it, sometimes the worst case scenario actually does happen. And that deserves our thought before we make a decision.

We were working on a an intense project at work and I was exhausted. I really needed a day off. I wanted to ask my boss for it but I stopped and thought about all the possible outcomes. He could say, “Sure go ahead. Take the day,” and that would have been great. But what would the ramifications have been overall. Everyone was stressed and working hard, everyone probably wanted a day off. My position was pretty high and I probably had more freedom to ask than those further down the ladder. If I took the day off and someone else couldn’t, or worse, didn’t even feel like they could ask for a day off, how would that impact the team? How would I be viewed? Worse case scenario – Everyone would hate me and I would be a pariah from then forward. I didn’t think THAT would happen, but there were other things to consider. After I pondered this for a while, I determined that it would be better not to even ask for the day off. Just grind through the project with everyone else and when it was done, we could all take some time. So that’s what I did.

I will never know if I had taken the day off if anything negative would have happened or if anyone would have even cared. But taking the time to consider the worst case scenario gave me a broader picture of how my decision could affect not only the others involved, but the project as a whole. It was worth the time I spent thinking about it before I decided what to do.

It probably won’t matter what we have for breakfast, what shoes we wear to work, or where we park our cars. But some decisions we make today will matter. Some decisions could have far reaching consequences. We never really know how far those consequences could go. Like tossing a pebble in a pond the ripples could go wide. So before we decide anything that touches others or impacts situations, we should take the time to think. “What’s the worst that could happen?” If we can work around that, if we can manage that, then we can go forward with confidence. Start thinking.

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