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The Whole Story

29 Aug

There may be times in our lives when we get wrapped up in a situation so tightly and are so close to an issue we can’t see it clearly.  We may have suspicions things aren’t exactly as they seem but if we’re too close, even if we have doubts, we may neglect to see the whole story.  Personal desire can be very powerful and if we want a situation to be real we can ignore important cues and refuse to look at things objectively.  If others want us to believe something that isn’t true and manipulate us to keep us from seeing the truth, it can be hard to sort things out.  Misdirection, mixed messages, and dishonesty can make us believe something that isn’t real.  If we are courageous and refuse to ignore promptings that things aren’t as they seem, we can find our way.  But if we’re caught up and very much want things to be real we may look away.  As long as we refuse to see the whole story we may live in the land of fiction, and we will stay there until we’re ready to see what is true.  We deserve truth in our lives.  We can face anything openly and see it as it really is.  When we’re ready to see the truth, we can manage whatever we find.

Some people have powerful personal agendas that drive them to do anything to achieve them.  They don’t care if they are dishonest, they don’t care who gets hurt, and they don’t care what they have to do to get to their goal.  If we become entangled with them they may do things that make us believe things that aren’t true.  If they don’t care about anything but themselves they may deceive us and we may be hurt.  If we value them and believe we have a close relationship with them, we may be hurt badly.  But we don’t have to believe anything without proving it first.  We can listen objectively and evaluate what is real.  We are smart enough and wise enough to discern truth and if we set personal feelings aside and see the situation objectively we will find it.  Truth is the only thing that is constant.  It may be ignored for a time but it will always surface.  Seeking it and listening to it will help us find our way through any situation.

There is nothing wrong with desiring to achieve goals.  It’s good to be ambitious and self-directed.  But if all we see is the goal and are willing to pay any price to achieve it we may become selfish and merciless manipulating others to move us forward.  We are better than that and are accountable for everything we do.  We can achieve anything we want and we can choose to do it nobly.  It is far better to move forward with honesty and bring others along with us through motivation and kindness.  We can do anything and we can do it with honor.  If we do what is best and achieve our goals honorably we will become the people we most want to be.  And our example will inspire those around us and make a positive impact on the world.

Today if you feel something isn’t right in a situation you’re living, step back and look at it objectively.  You will find the answers and see the best way forward.  If you are trying to accomplish a goal and are highly motivated to make it a reality, bring others along by treating them with respect and being honest.  You can do anything.  You are strong and wise.  Show that strength and wisdom in all you do, and be the best you can be.

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Competition

26 Aug

There are a lot of ways to find success as we navigate through our lives.  Maybe we work hard and become successful in business, or we raise strong healthy children, or we do something better than anyone else.  There are limitless ways to express excellence in our lives.  Sometimes we might feel we have to do better because we’re in competition with someone else, or want to prevail in a specific situation better than anyone has before.  The idea of competition can bring out the very best in us as we strive for more and reach higher.  There are a lot of ways to compare ourselves to the world and those around us and we may feel inspired to do more because of them.  But in reality, no matter what we do as we try to accomplish anything we are only in competition with ourselves.  If we do our very best and reach as high as we can no matter where we land in the end we have succeeded.  The world has all kinds of ways to measure success.  There are accolades galore, awards, prizes, adulation and laud to seek after.  But those mean nothing if we haven’t done our best.  And when we give our best, we win.  We win even if we don’t come in first.  We win even if we don’t get the prize.  The competition is within us at every turn and how we handle it defines the true winner.

The way the world measures success may not represent us, and the ideas of success set by other people do not define it for us.  If others determine it’s desirable to be tall we can be happy being short.  If they decide it’s better to go fast, we can be content to go at our own speed.  We define our personal success.  We can determine how our lives should look and how we want to live.  We are not defined by the measures set by those around us but by the measures we set for ourselves.  We know what we want and we know where we want to be.  Doing things our way will bring us personal satisfaction and true success.

It takes time to decide how we want to live our lives.  If we go along with what we’re told and never think about what we really want we may end up in situations that aren’t where we want to be.  Defining who we are and what we want to do is up to us.  It’s easy to go with the flow and do what makes everyone else happy.  But we deserve to have lives that reflect who we really are.  We can turn left even if everyone else is turning right.  We can choose a different path any time we like.  When we live our lives genuinely, defined by our own personal parameters we will find success no matter what we’re doing.  We are unique, impressive, and precious as we are.  We can define our own successes and measure up to our own standards.  This life is an incredible gift.  Living it our way is the best blessing we can give ourselves.

Today if you’ve been competing with others remember the real competition is within you.  You will succeed if you accomplish what’s most important to you.  Decide what makes you happy and then proceed on your own course.  You have excellence in you.  You can define what that looks like and find true happiness.

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Hit and Run

12 Aug

Suppose as we approach our car in a parking lot after doing some shopping we see someone has hit it while we were inside.  There is no note anywhere with information about who did it.  There is nothing but a smashed up car we now have to deal with.  We’ve become the victim of a hit and run.  Somebody hit the car and simply drove away.  Unless there is a witness who saw the event and is willing to come forward with information, we’re stuck with the damage and making the repairs.  It’s unethical to damage anyone’s property and not take responsibility for it, but some people don’t care about ethics, or what is right.  And so we have to deal with what’s happened.  It’s cowardly to hit anyone or anything and run away afterward.  And when it happens to us we may feel angry, and frustrated.  There is no way to make things right if the offender has disappeared and we are stuck repairing the situation on our own.

Ethics is an interesting subject.  We define what is right and it’s ethical to maintain the standards we set.  It’s unethical to impose pain and suffering on others and not be accountable for it.  But if we want to we can make all kinds of excuses for bad behavior.  The idea of “situational ethics” comes into play.  It’s a convenient excuse when we know what we did was wrong, but feel the situation warranted it and we shouldn’t be responsible for it.  For instance, we miss an important turn as we’re driving somewhere and need to turn around.  There is a no U turn sign but we look around, don’t see anyone and do it anyway.  The situation called for us to turn around and go back, and since nobody saw us, there’s no harm.  But the problem with embracing situational excuses is there will always be a reason to compromise our values, and if there isn’t we can make one up.  We are what we do and if we want to be ethical and honest we must choose what is right even if nobody is looking.

They say the best way to cook a frog is to put it in cold water and slowly heat it up.  That way the frog won’t resist as the water slowly warms until it’s cooked.  When we make decisions that take us away from what we believe is right and then make excuses for them, we are in the water as it begins to heat up.  The next time a decision comes and we want to step out of our standards a little it will be easier because we’ve already stepped away before.  If we keep taking steps further and further away from where we want to be our perceptions of right and wrong will change and our standards will follow.  And like the frog, we’ll be cooked before we know it.  We have to decide what kind of person we really want to be.  If we want to be firm in our convictions we can’t risk wavering.  We can’t hit and run and hope it won’t matter.  What we do always matters.  We can be strong in making choices that keep us on the road we want to travel and define who we most want to be.

Today if you feel tempted to turn away from your standards just a little to accomplish something, hold fast.  Choose well and be firm in what you know is right.  You will prevail and earn the respect of those around you.  You are worth more than you can imagine and your influence on the world is great.  Make it the best influence it can be.

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Fault Lines

20 Jul

As we go through our lives and make decisions, sometimes we take a wrong turn and make choices that don’t work out.  We might make decisions that take us somewhere we don’t want to go or bring us hardship.  If we are heavily influenced to make a decision and we agree to it and it doesn’t work out we may blame the person who pressured us to comply.  We may say it’s their fault we are miserable.  While it’s true others may strongly influence us and their pressure may be great, if we decide to go along with their request the decision is ultimately ours.  The choice belongs to us and the results of that choice are also ours.  We own them.  We may say we were forced to do something we really didn’t want to do and there may have been great pressure to comply but the choice we make is ours.  There is no way to push the consequences of our decisions onto others.  We may be angry we complied and we may be unhappy with what has happened, but we own the decision.  Of course, those who pressured us have their part to answer for but we direct our own lives and what we choose is our responsibility.

Blaming can be a dangerous game.  If we make it a habit of blaming others or situations for our decisions we may successfully push the attention onto them but it will never change the truth.  If we don’t accept our role in our decisions and say it’s someone or something else’s fault, we can’t learn from the experience.  If we don’t learn from what has happened, we may repeat the whole process again.  The old adage that those who don’t learn from the past are destined to repeat it is true.  If we can’t accept our responsibility for a bad decision we can’t learn the lessons that may keep us from making the same choice again.  Nobody wants a life going from one disaster to the next but if we don’t learn from our choices that may be our experience.

Making mistakes is a natural part of life.  We don’t know everything and we don’t know what we don’t know.  We sometimes blunder through with half the information we need to make a good decision and sometimes we are blinded by promises that are half true.  If we falter and choose something that brings hardship or disappointment and take the time to see where we made the wrong turn it can help us prevent doing it again in the future.  There is great benefit in going through hard lessons and if we are wise we will take the time to learn as much as we can as we navigate them.  Many times we make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go.  We often choose well and are happy with our choices.  We can be confident that if we make a wrong turn we will be able to right our course and go forward with courage.

Today if you’ve made a wrong turn and chosen something that has brought you disappointment or hardship, accept your decision and move forward.  Learn all you can from the experience and be confident.  You are wise and able to choose well.  A setback will not stop you.  Turn your course and continue again.  You will find great success.

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Make it So

15 Jul

There are times in everyone’s life when we have to face things that are uncomfortable or when unplanned difficult developments occur.  It can be hard to adjust to changes when we’ve previously determined how our plans should go and they don’t comply.  During times like those if we face the truth of the situation we often must modify our path going forward.  Things didn’t work out like we planned so we have to turn a little and try again.  Facing reality is important if we want to live an honest life, but if it seems too difficult to face what’s happening or make modifications, we do have another option – we could lie.  We could lie to ourselves and those around us and pretend things are different than they really are.  It’s never wise to be dishonest and the truth eventually catches up us but we may convince ourselves it’s a possible option until things change.  If we are determined enough to make the situation appear to be different than it is, we may believe if we lie enough we could actually change it.  Of course that’s not possible but times of desperation may cloud our judgment and we may decide to try.  We may convince ourselves we can make it so just because we say it’s so.

We all have situations we feel we could never face.  We may believe we could never survive the death of a close loved one, the betrayal of a dear friend, or the loss of something we cherish.  But there really is nothing that will come to us in our lives we cannot navigate.  There may be very painful moments, we may question our ability to continue on, and we may struggle mightily if the event is seriously terrible but we can get through anything in time.  We can face the truth of any situation and we can find a way to successfully go forward.  We don’t have to lie to ourselves or others.  We are strong enough to handle anything that happens.

Lying is a pernicious and destructive behavior.  If we lie once and find it makes our lives easier or gets us something we desire, it will be easy to lie again.  Over time if we make it a continual habit and choose it whenever things become uncomfortable, it will become easier and easier.  It may become second nature and after a time we may not even give it a second thought.  Once established, lying is a desperate habit that is hard to break.  If we allow ourselves to make it an acceptable part of our lives, when we decide to stop it will take real determination to become honest again.  The damage we do when we lie not only affects us personally but can destroy our relationships.  It’s nearly impossible to have a healthy and strong relationship with a liar.  They can’t be trusted and there is no way to know when or if they are ever truthful.  The price for lying can be steep and bring long lasting complications.  The best we can do if we are uncomfortable with anything is to face it completely and openly.  We are capable of seeing things as they really are, accepting them, and navigating them honestly.  Lying is cowardly.  We are not cowards and have sufficient courage to face whatever comes to us.

Today if you’re struggling with something in your life and think lying about it may bring you some relief, remember there is nothing too difficult or strong for you to manage.  You can be completely honest with yourself and those around you no matter what you’re facing.  Face the situation openly and tell the complete truth.  Your integrity is important and you will never regret honoring it.

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