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The Simple Life

20 Nov

In this day and age, there are thousands of things that capture our attention. There are limitless websites we can visit to see and learn new things, thousands of items we can purchase, endless places to travel to, and an ongoing barrage of information flowing in. We can spend our time involved in innumerable ventures and activities. Many of them are valuable, but there are a lot of good, but worthless, time takers that can eat up our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in all that’s available, and if we aren’t careful we can spend our days reading about and watching how others live their lives, and neglect to actually live our own. Every moment we live is expendable. Once it’s gone we can never get it back. Therefore, it seems wise to spend them in ways that will enhance our experiences and give us the most in return.

Leonardo da Vinci said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” If that’s true then all the time we spend complicating our lives with information and activity may keep us from becoming exactly what we’re seeking. Learning to live a simple life can bring us more free time, and allow us to enjoy each day without the constant need to be busy. These days it seems we’re expected to be constantly working on something, or engaged in an activity. But if we’re always busy we have no time for thought, or reflection. And if we continually jump from one action to the next and never leave any down time, we may burn ourselves out. Our days will fly by and because of our activity level we may not remember what we spent our time doing. Learning to simplify our days can help us learn more about life and about ourselves, and may improve our physical and mental health.

When we spend our time engaged in anything, we are, in fact, spending our time. We are exchanging it for the benefit of whatever activity we’re engaged in. Like money, once it leaves our hands, it’s gone. But our time can never be re-earned or replaced. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good. If we think more carefully about how we want to use it, and are judicious in giving it away to things that mean little, we will feel more gratified and satisfied when the day is over. Instead of getting lost in our computer searches, and spinning our wheels doing things that take us nowhere, we can choose to consciously decide how our minutes and hours will be used. And if we do, our lives will be richer and more meaningful, and we’ll remember each day is a gift.

Today if you’ve been caught up in all the information and activities around you, if you’ve lost time doing things that haven’t returned anything positive back to you, take control. Determine how you’ll spend your time more effectively. Make careful choices regarding it and you’ll be happier with what you’re doing, more relaxed going forward, and nothing will steal your focus from your goals. Today be in charge of your life, and your time spent will return good things back to you.

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Authentic

14 Nov

There are a lot of influences in our lives, and sometimes there may be pressure to be some version of ourselves that isn’t quite genuine. Others may want us to be like them because they feel more comfortable when everyone around them reflects their personal style or preferences. Sometimes there is pressure to conform to some idea that is the norm, and even if we don’t really want to, we may go along so we fit in. Although we all know it’s best to be honest, when we care about someone and they are insistent, it can be hard to speak up. If we concede and do what is expected instead of genuinely being who we are, we put ourselves into false situations that may not work out for us. If we live a life designed by someone else, it isn’t ours. And living our own lives, our way, is the most important thing we can do. We are unique and have a lot to offer just as we are. We can be who we really are, and be confident even if it’s not what others want.

When we are trying to figure out who we really are, we try on different lifestyles and choices until we find what fits. Sometimes that matches those around us, and sometimes it doesn’t. Once we figure out what works for us, it feels perfect and even if it’s not the norm, we can embrace it. We don’t have to reflect what anyone else thinks we should be. We don’t have to be married, single, conservative, liberal, quiet or outspoken just because those around us would be more comfortable. We can be respectful and kind, and do exactly what’s best for us. If we conform to a model that isn’t genuine, we may be able to make it work for a time, but eventually who we really are will emerge. We are entitled to be authentic about ourselves, and be truthful and open. Unless we’re hurting someone, the opinions of others don’t matter.

Sometimes we’re the ones who put pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, and try to fit a mold that isn’t exactly right. There might be family pressures, or the desire to fit in. We can try to assimilate and if we want to change we certainly can. But if the change is too dramatic, or we aren’t completely convinced we want to be that different, even if we accomplish it, it’s doubtful we’ll be happy. We deserve to be happy every day. Trying to be something we aren’t will never take us there. We know who we are and we know what works for us. We can be that person and we don’t have to fit any other model no matter how convincing it is.

Today be the person you really are. You are perfect just being you. Be confident in your true self. Be genuine and open. You have a lot to offer, and offering it with your own authentic twist is the best you can give. Your uniqueness is valuable and worthwhile. Embrace it and confidently share it with everyone around you.

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Armored Car

2 Nov

Everyone gets hurt from time to time.  People let us down, break their promises, forget commitments, and things go wrong.  We depend on others as we go through our days, and sometimes they drop the ball.  When we get hurt badly it can be hard to regain our footing.  We may determine to no longer trust anyone, but that will never work in our favor.  Still, if we’ve been hurt deeply we may put walls up around us thinking they will protect us.  Like an armored car, we bury ourselves under layers of protection in order to prevent anyone from getting in, and hurting us again.  While those layers may protect us in some ways, they also work against us.  If we don’t let people get close to us we might not get hurt, but we may also lose our ability to feel a real connection.  Superficial relationships will never allow us to feel deep affection for anyone.  Strong feelings of attachment and love are beneficial, and are among the most valuable experiences we can have.  Without those connections, we lose a big part of our human experience.

Nobody gets through life without getting hurt.  We may be wounded in one way or another simply because of our interactions and trust for others.  In every exchange, and in every relationship, there is an element of risk.  Allowing others to get close to us makes us vulnerable and when we’re vulnerable there is always the possibility of getting hurt.  We can decide the risk isn’t worth whatever we might gain and keep everyone in our lives at a distance.  If we do that we may never have the extreme pleasure and reward of sharing ourselves with someone else on an intimate level.  We may never experience true feelings of love.

If we develop strong feelings for someone and entrust them with our hearts, and they are not valiant or don’t cherish us in return, their choices and actions may hurt us.  They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but when we’re devastated it’s hard to believe that.  We have a lot to offer and we deserve the very best relationships possible.  If that doesn’t happen and we let someone else’s bad choices change how we live our lives, we may end up losing even more.  Sometimes those that hurt us don’t even care what we’re going through or what they’ve done that has devastated us.  Sometimes all they see is themselves.  Allowing their decisions and bad behavior to define our path going forward gives away our power.  We need to have power over our lives to live successfully.  If we determine that even though we’ve been hurt to live our lives openly and well, that we won’t let a bad experience change our course, we will keep our power.  And we will find happiness again.

Today if you’ve been badly hurt by someone close to you, don’t forget your real focus.  Keep your control.  You know what’s best for you, and you know how to go forward.  You will find your way back to happiness and you’ll be wiser from the experience.  Don’t let someone else’s bad decisions determine your future.  You deserve only the best.  Keep your eyes on the goal and you’ll find it.

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In a Panic

30 Oct

Most of us have fears of some sort.  Some are tangible – maybe we’re afraid of spiders, elevators, heights or other things.  And some are unseen such as the fear of speaking up or being the center of attention.  Whatever are fears are, they are very real to us even if they are irrational.  For instance, everyone knows they are far larger than any bug on the earth, and they are easily destroyed, but there are some who are terrified of them.  Although our fears may be illogical, they can still be crippling and difficult to manage.  If they are holding us back and preventing us from moving forward in a way that’s important to us, we need to look at them and take action to overcome them.  If they keep us from advancing in our careers, or building healthy relationships that bring us happiness, we need to find a way around them so we can be happy, successful and confident.

Sometimes in our jobs, we are asked to do things that are uncomfortable for us.  If we have a fear of speaking in front of others, being assigned that task may be almost crippling.  We may try to find someone else to do it for us, or plead with our superiors to be excused from the assignment.  However, when we’re asked to do something that frightens us, the best thing to do is face it.  We will never break through our fears unless we confront them head on.  It isn’t easy to do things that terrify us, but oftentimes when we do, we discover they aren’t as difficult or scary as we thought they would be.  The first time is hard, and we may stumble, but we don’t have to stop.  If we push through the experience once, we can push through it again.  After we’ve faced the issue a few times the fear will lesson, and if we keep at it, disappear altogether.

If we are afraid of commitment but really want a permanent relationship, we can make the changes needed to move forward.  If we need professional counseling we can get it.  If we’re unsure and worried about rejection, we can begin by facing that.  No matter what issue is keeping us from going forward, or whatever worries us, we can face them one at a time.  We can begin to extend ourselves a little at first until things become comfortable, and then we can extend ourselves a little further.  In time, we’ll be successful in breaking through the fear and leaving it behind.  Our lives are valuable and each day we have the opportunity to change anything that is holding us in place.  We can move closer to where we want to be, and if we do, nothing will stop us from getting to our goal.  We deserve to be happy, and have everything we dream of.  There isn’t anything that will stop us if we are determined.

Today if you’ve been afraid of going forward in some area of your life, you can start by making one small change.  Do one thing that will move you closer to where you want to be.  Tomorrow, take one more step and continue each day until you get to your goal.  You are far braver than you think you are, and you can do anything.  Start today and before you know it, you’ll be where you want to be and happiness will be your companion.

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Nonsense

19 Oct

Confusion is difficult to navigate. If we’re confused about a task we’re doing we could ask for help or look up information that will show us the way. If we’re confused about directions we can consult a map or use a navigation tool. But if we’re confused in a personal relationship, it can be hard to figure out what the problem is, and what to do. Most people are honest and forthright, and in relationships, most of us try to be upfront and not deceptive. But there are some people who have an agenda directed at their own desires, and will do whatever is needed to make it happen. Nobody really wants to be involved with people like that, either in a friendship or something closer.  But unfortunately in the beginning sometimes there is no way to know all the facts. Things may start out okay, and then we realize something is amiss.  Maybe what they say doesn’t match what they do, or they don’t follow through on their promises, and hurting us brings excuses but no changes. There’s a lot of nonsense – meaning it doesn’t make sense. When we get caught up in relationships with people like that it’s very confusing. And that confusion can be hard to untangle.

We often have inspiration, intuition, or a gut feeling when things aren’t quite right. It’s good to trust others. It’s good to believe what they tell us, and trust that they’ll follow through on their word. But if they don’t, and it happens repeatedly, it’s important for us to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. We need to look at the facts without reserve or filters. We need to set our feelings aside and look at what is really happening. If we pay attention to the reality of the situation, and let go of all the excuses and explanations, we can clear our minds and find truth. The truth is always available to us when we’re ready to see it. And the truth is what will bring us peace in the end.

When we get confused and things aren’t making sense, we can lose our footing, get tangled up, and keep going around in circles trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. If we keep hoping things will improve and they don’t, we may get deeply hurt. And if we let ourselves be hurt again and again, we may forget how valuable we are, and that we deserve every blessing. Every day is precious and spending it on a situation that hurts us isn’t in our best interest. We are valuable and should be treated with care. If we’re in a situation where that isn’t happening, we need to re-evaluate our decisions going forward.

Today if you’re confused over a situation in your life, step back and look at things objectively. Look at what’s happening as an outsider, and be open to seeing the whole picture. You’ll find the truth and then can decide how to go forward. You are a precious gift to the world. There is nobody else like you. You deserve to be treated well, and with care. Remember how important you are. And then make decisions going forward that will bring you happiness.

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