Archive | Discipline RSS feed for this section

Fair Winds

2 Apr

Everywhere we go and everything we do is changed because we were there.  With every touch, every conversation, and every interaction, we leave a part of us behind.  It’s easy to forget that as we go through each day moving from one task to another.  We’re all sharing the planet together, and even when we think we’re on our own and alone, others see us and hear us, and their lives are changed because we are here.  There is a well know nautical blessing of “Fair winds and following seas.”  To a sailor, fair winds mean an easy and productive day, and following seas push them closer to the safety of the shore.  We can create our own fair winds through our behavior, and when we do, the following seas are the trailing benefits of what we leave behind.  If we are rude and manipulative, or angry and crass, those are the impressions that will follow us.  But if we are kind and patient, pleasant and helpful, that’s what we’ll take forward.  Trouble comes to us all.  Nobody has a life filled with only soft clover and honey. We’re going to have hard times, difficult challenges, disappointments, and sadness.  It’s the natural course of life and cannot be completely avoided.  But what we do when we have challenging times is up to us.  We can hold onto the pain, and become hard and mean, and live on turbulent seas.  Or we can walk through whatever comes and determine to heal in spite of it.  Whatever choice we make will be reflected in our actions and demeanor.

Although difficult times will come, sometimes we manufacture more problems from the way we deal, or don’t deal, with them.  If someone has hurt us, instead of seeing the issue as it is and determining to move forward anyway, we could hold onto the hurt and let it develop into anger, and feelings of revenge.  We could live our lives focused on getting back at the one who hurt us, and let the pain control us.  If we do, we may lose track of everything else and become bitter.  Bitterness will create more problems to deal with.  If we can keep our eyes on the goals we want for ourselves, and focus on who we really want to be, we can move past any pain or difficulty and retain our best attributes.  We can decide to cope with our troubles and find peace knowing we are doing the best we can.  We can impact others for good, we can be kind, and enhance the world and those around us.

Today if you’ve been angry because of something that’s happened, remember who you are.  You have a lot to offer and you deserve to be happy.  Set your sites on the goals you want for yourself and move forward with confidence.  Share the gifts you have with those around you.  Be an example of goodness and light, and you’ll have fair winds and following seas not just today, but every day going forward.

Tags: , ,

Owning the Future

1 Apr

Each day of our lives brings challenges and blessings.  We never know what will come and most of us try to do our best in every situation.  We live in the present and although we think about our futures and even plan for them, there is no way to tell how they will actually come to pass.  However, our decisions can impact what our futures look like.  Whatever roads we choose, wherever they lead, if we stay on them we have no choice but to arrive at their destination.  If we’re on a path that will take us to a place we don’t want to go, we can change our course.  If we do nothing, make no pro-active decisions but just let things roll out on their own, and allow others to decide where we’re headed, we may end up with a future that isn’t anything like the one we want.  We can’t control everything but if we do our best to direct our lives we have a better shot at finding happiness.  If we want to own our futures we have to pay attention.  We have make sure we’re going where we want to go and if not, change our direction.  The future will come no matter what we do.  But if we leave it to chance, we may not end up where we want to be.

Every choice has a result.  If we choose thoughtfully how we live our lives, the result will likely be what we’re hoping for.  But choosing to do nothing is a choice as well.  If we sit back and are careless about where we’re going, or too lazy to actually direct our lives, they will roll forward on their own.  Other people’s decisions will direct us one way or another, and instead of moving forward toward goals we want to achieve, we may drift one way, and then another, with no destination in mind.  The years will pass and if we continue, in time we may find ourselves somewhere we never imagined we’d end up.  But if we coast along, being blown here and there by things that happen and have no rudder to guide our ship, we have no direction.  It’s easy to coast along and let others make decisions for us, but that will never take us where we really want to go.

There are limitless ways to live our lives.  Some people are very active and ambitious, others are more laid back and easy going.  The versions and choices are endless.  But no matter what our personal styles are, it’s imperative that we live on purpose, aware of where we are, what we’re doing, and where we’re headed.  In our daily routines it’s easy to become complacent and just go through the motions.  Although every day is different, we pretty much know what to expect.  Unfortunately that can lead to laziness and a lack of initiative.   If we allow complacency to be the focus we will lose our direction. But our lives are ours to direct and we are the ones responsible for where they go.  If we want to own our futures, we have to be involved and actively engaged.  We are in control.  We can determine our direction, and we can succeed.

Today if you’ve been drifting along and taking a backseat in directing your life, pay attention.  This day will pass and where you go tomorrow is up to you.  Make the best decisions that will ensure you end up where you want to be.  You have everything you need to be happy.  Today, do what is needed to make sure you get there.

Tags: , ,

Being There

22 Mar

The world is a big place and there are billions of people inhabiting it. Whether we live in huge cities or small towns, in the country or suburbia, we are all here together. Everything we do, every decision we make affects our lives in some ways, and may also have an impact on others around us. We can try to isolate ourselves if we want to be alone, but it’s not always easy unless we lock ourselves up at home and don’t venture out. No matter what we do, we’re connected to those around us. We pass them, see them, engage with them, and make an impression about who we are. Although it’s good to be independent, we all need each other and depend on each other in countless ways. The level of that reliance depends on our relationship. Every relationship has an unspoken understanding that we’ll be available at some level. If we are strangers passing on the street that involvement will be minimal. If we are friends it increases. When we love each other that reliance will be great. We need to be available to those who love us – both emotionally and physically. We need to answer when they call, and respond when they need us. It’s an integral part of our relationship and if we neglect it, the trust we share will diminish and over time we may lose everything. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship if one party isn’t available. If we want to be close to anyone, we have to be there for them.

We always do what we want to do most. That’s a truth we all share. We can say we couldn’t make a commitment because we got busy, or we didn’t make an appointment because our schedules got out of control, or we had a conflict, or anything else. While all our excuses may be true, the fact is we decide how we spend our time. The reasons we give for not showing or being available won’t always repair what has been lost. The simple truth is if something is really important to us, we’ll be there for it. If it’s not important, any excuse will do. When we have a relationship of any sort, if we want to keep it, we have to commit to it. And that means we have to be there and available.

When we make commitments and then don’t show, we are often valuing other things as more important. Sometimes we really do want to do something but our lives won’t allow it at this time. We all have real complications and sometimes things don’t work out. If that’s the case we need to re-evaluate the commitments we’re making. However, often when we don’t follow through it’s not because it’s impossible, but that we’ve chosen to do other things instead. We all get to choose how we spend our time. We are in control of our lives and can live them any way we like. We always do what we want to do most. Every person in our lives knows this and our actions clearly communicate it. If we really want successful relationships, they must be valued and protected. We can do that by being available and making them a priority.

Today if you haven’t been available to those who care about you or depend on you, remember your relationships are valuable and worth your time. It’s good to build strong bonds with those around you and you can do that by being there for them. You are very important, and so are they. Show them you care by showing up and being there. They will draw closer to you and your connection will deepen. We all need each other and we need you. Be there. The closeness you’ll develop will be well worth it.

Tags: , ,

For Real

3 Mar

When we have a goal and are eager to accomplish it, we want to get started right away and move forward quickly. We might set a time line to motivate us going forward or determine smaller intermediate goals to achieve as we move along. Steps like these help us keep our eyes on the destination and refine our focus. But sometimes in our eagerness to get the job done we set a time line that is unreasonable or intermediate goals that are too big to achieve quickly. Because we’ve set expectations that are beyond what we can successfully accomplish, odds are we’ll fail trying to reach them. Unrealistic goals can undermine our confidence very quickly. But we can re-think our plan and create another that is more workable. Life isn’t a contest. We don’t have to get everything done today or tomorrow, and there is no need to push ourselves beyond our abilities. Success comes most easily when we plan our course realistically and reasonably. Others may tell us we can do things faster, and we may think we should be able to, but if we’re wise, we’ll plan a way we can manage well, and not get overwhelmed.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we plan to accomplish it in ways that are too difficult to achieve, or too fast to succeed, failure will be the likely result. For instance, if we determine we’re too sedentary and want to get fit, we may decide to join a gym. If we’re very motivated we may determine that we’ll go to the gym every single day and work out for two hours. We want to get fit quickly and this seems like a good idea – at first. But then we start out and it’s harder than we thought to change our personal schedule to accommodate two hours every day, and two hours of exercise is far harder than we thought it would be. After a few days we quickly see our plan is too ambitious and we quit. Because we expected too much too quickly we found failure instead of success. This is a common scenario. We’ve all done it in one way or another. The best we can do when we want to change something or achieve anything is to think clearly and honestly about our capabilities and our expectations. We can and should push ourselves to achieve, but we must find balance if we want to succeed.

It seems everyone has an idea of what we should do with our lives. Some think we should do one thing, others think we should do something entirely different. If we listen to everyone’s opinion it can be confusing, but we determine how we’ll live our lives. We’re responsible for every success. We know our desires and our limitations better than anyone else. If we take the time to think about what we really want to achieve, and then realistically make a plan to obtain it, we can succeed. There is no race. There is no time limit. We don’t have to do it all in one day. We can do it the way that works best for us. Every step we take closer to the goal teaches us something new. We can adjust as we move along. We can change our plans if need be, and we can overcome every obstacle. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We know who we are and we are smart enough to create the best plan going forward.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and you keep stumbling, perhaps you need a more realistic approach. Think about your time constraints, consider your physical abilities, and modify your plan going forward so you can succeed. You have everything you need. Take it one step at a time and you’ll get there.

Tags: , ,

Eating an Elephant

11 Feb

There are times in all of our lives when we have a lot to do, things are complicated, and we’re under stress. A hundred things could be happening, and we may find ourselves struggling to keep up and manage it all. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at times like these and we may think we can’t handle it. When there’s a lot going on and a lot expected of us, we can feel like we’re chasing a train. There is no way to catch it but it can seem we’re expected to anyway. It’s hard to navigate everything when there’s a lot happening, but we can manage it more effectively if we step back and take it one step at a time. If we do the first step, and then the next, one after the other we’ll manage everything and get to the finish line. We don’t have to look ahead and try to do all that must be done going forward. It’s enough to tackle what must be done today. We can keep the long range goal in our sites, but if we focus only on what we must accomplish today, we will more effectively move forward. Stress can make it hard to think and see things clearly. Taking one day at a time will help alleviate that. Perhaps you’ve heard the old question, “How do you eat an elephant?” We all know the answer – one bite at a time. The same is true when we have a lot weighing on us. We can accomplish it by taking it one bite at a time.

There are many facets to our lives and at times it seems every one of them is pressing for our attention. Perhaps our families have special needs, and our projects at work are intense, and the car needs servicing, and we have to get supplies for the neighborhood party, and we forgot we promised to help a friend with a repair, and a dozen other things. Each task is easy to complete on its own, but when they are all jumbled together we can feel buried alive with no air to breathe. But each task, no matter how pressing, can be managed. If we take a few moments and make a plan, and determine how much we can accomplish today and what we can postpone until tomorrow, we will succeed. We are perfectly capable of managing our lives, no matter how complicated they become. We have the key to un-complicate them. We just need to take care of today. Tomorrow we’ll do tomorrow. And the next day we’ll manage that day. If we take it one step at at time, we’ll succeed in getting everything completed.

In this day and age it seems there are more expectations on us than ever before. There is always something more others want from us. But we are in control of our lives and we can say no if we need to. We don’t have to do everything we’re asked to do. We know how much we have already, and if adding more to the “to do” list will break the bank, we can decline. Saying no is an appropriate and sensible choice when saying yes would overwhelm us. We may disappoint the person asking for our time, but agreeing to do something we don’t have time for will only set us up for failure. It’s better to wisely monitor our choices so we can accomplish the commitments we’ve made. We are in charge of our lives and our decisions. It’s fine to say no when we need to. Being proactive in our choices will help us feel more control and enable us to better manage our responsibilities. We all want to be helpful, but sometimes that means we need to take care of what we have already and decline the opportunity to do more.

Today if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all you have to do, stop for a moment and look at what you can reasonably accomplish today. Make a plan to complete those tasks and tomorrow begin again. You can do anything but you can’t do it all at once. Just take care of today. One step at a time is all you need to take. Keep moving forward and you’ll find all the success you’re seeking.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →