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The Other Eleven

24 Mar

When we’ve set a goal for ourselves and we’re moving forward, sometimes along the way we have a setback. Maybe we lose our focus for a moment and go the wrong way, or go backward, or even stop altogether. No journey is without occasional bumps and detours and we expect them when we travel. When they happen we take them in stride, and just keep going. But when it’s a personal situation, when we’re trying to change something about ourselves or do something we want badly and we go sideways, we can feel frustrated. We might even convince ourselves we can’t succeed and think about quitting. If we take an egg from the carton and accidentally drop it, we don’t ever think of smashing the other eleven because one got broken. We just clean up the mess and continue on. When we lose our footing as we try to achieve something, we break the diet, forget the gym, or sleep in instead of working on the project, it’s like breaking one egg. We aren’t ruined. We haven’t failed. It’s just a slight detour. All is not lost. We can get back on the road and pointed in the right direction again. We are still capable of succeeding and we can keep going.

Detours happen for a lot of reasons. Sometimes we get tired of trying so hard. Sometimes we get distracted. And sometimes we forget our focus. Life is busy and complicated. No matter what we’re trying to accomplish, odds are it isn’t the only thing we have to do. We’re busy and our goals are just one of the things we’re involved with. But when they are important to us and we really want to accomplish them, they have to take precedence whenever possible. It isn’t always easy to juggle everything in our lives, and change is hard for most of us. But despite the detours that occur, no matter what the cause, if we’re determined to succeed we can re-align our path and begin to move forward again. There isn’t anything that will stop us from achieving our goals if we want them badly enough.

When we falter we can be stalled by self criticism and doubt. We might believe that because we haven’t achieved the goal yet, and we’ve gotten off the path again, we don’t have what we need to be successful. But that isn’t true. It doesn’t matter how many times we get sidelined. What matters is that we start again. And again. And again. We can’t go forward if we stop. We can’t achieve anything if we quit trying. If we drop one egg, we don’t have to smash the other eleven. No matter what has happened or how long it’s taken, we can still succeed. The only thing that will stop us is if we stop ourselves. There isn’t anything we can’t accomplish if we just keep pushing forward. Just one step more and we’ll be on the road again. We have everything we need to get to the goal. Nothing is strong enough to stop us.

Today if you’re feeling defeated because you’ve been side tracked and haven’t moved forward the way you wanted to, you can correct your course. Refine your focus and begin again. There isn’t anything you can’t accomplish. You have everything you need to succeed. You know what you want. Don’t let anything stop you from getting it. You deserve every blessing, and they will all be yours if you keep moving forward.

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No End

23 Mar

There are times in all of our lives when something terrible happens and we don’t think we can survive it. It may be the sudden death of a loved one, a crushing professional disappointment, the betrayal of someone close, or other things that are extremely hard to face. Nobody has a blissful, perfect life all the time. Things go wrong and sometimes they go very wrong. When we’re in the throes of these experiences we may feel so overwhelmed we can’t see the end. We can’t imagine how to navigate the situation and we may feel sure it will overcome us. But then a day goes by and we are still here. And then another day goes by, and then another. And as time passes and we find our way through each moment, we get a little stronger, and a little braver. There isn’t anything we can’t face. Even if we are convinced we can’t face it, we can. We are far more resilient than we believe we are, and as strong as we need to be. We don’t have to see the end at the beginning. All we need to do is get through today. We might have to take it one breath at a time, but we will take it, and we will manage. Each moment that passes moves us along a little bit. And bit by bit we will overcome.

There may be times when our decisions bring the walls crashing down around us and if that’s the case, we can accept our role in the disaster. We can learn from it and take all the lessons forward with us. We learn by doing and sometimes that means making mistakes. Even if they hurt deeply, mistakes teach us important lessons. We know more after than we knew before. It’s impossible to go through life without doing some things wrong. This life is all about learning, and even when it hurts, it’s important. We don’t know everything and even if we try to do everything right we’re going to stumble from time to time. We can take ownership of our actions, look at the situation clearly, learn all we can, do what is needed to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road is long and there is time to correct our course.

If we’ve suffered a terrible blow because of decisions made by others, we may be devastated. Serious hurt takes time to heal. We have to take it as it comes but eventually it will ease and we’ll move forward. We may carry a scar with us, but a scar is just a reminder of where we’ve been, and not an indicator of where we’re going. Day by day, step by step we’ll find happiness again. There are a lot of ups and downs in life. The hard times hurt but they give us a deeper appreciation for the times when things go well. Joy is the absence of sorrow, but to feel true joy, we have to feel true sorrow. Painful days hurt but they carry blessings with them. As we navigate them, those blessings will become part of who we are.  Each blessing takes us closer to the person we most want to be.

Today if you’re going through a difficult time and feel overwhelmed, hang on. You really do have everything you need to succeed. There is nothing too difficult for you. Take it one step at a time. You have so much going for you. You can manage anything. Happiness is just outside the door. Open it. It’s waiting for you.

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Back and Forth

21 Mar

When we’re trying to accomplish something in our lives, if we want to find success, we have to move forward. We need to look at the situation objectively, weigh our options, and determine the path that will take us where we want to go. But life is full of distractions. There is a lot going on all the time. Other people in our lives have their own goals and interests, and although they may want to support ours, their focus is getting their own accomplishments completed. We can be side tracked when they get involved with us in ways that take our eyes off the road we want to travel. It’s like leaning a ladder up against a building in order to get to the roof, but only stepping on and off the first rung. We go forth and take the first step up, but then something happens and we step back down again to take care of it. Maybe we want to help someone else get something done, or hear something we want to clarify, or remember something we forgot. Back and forth we go, all the while staying busy but going nowhere. We can convince ourselves that because we are moving we are going forward but that isn’t always true. As long we let other things keep us from our goal, we’ll never get past the first rung.

There are a lot of reasons we lose our focus. Sometimes it’s because we aren’t sure we can accomplish the goal we’ve set. We want to, but may feel timid or afraid it might be too hard. We might make plans to go forward and even begin, but because we aren’t really sure we will succeed, are easily distracted and pulled away. We are naturally drawn to situations that make us feel comfortable. If the goal we want is stretching our abilities and we aren’t sure we can move forward, the discomfort of the unknown may move us toward something else. But we can be confident in any decision we make. We are certainly capable of doing anything we really want to do. We can be convinced we will succeed, and when we are, we will move forward. We can take the first step, and then the next, and the next, until we reach our goal.

They say timing is everything, and in a lot of situations that’s true. Sometimes we get stuck going back and forth and not moving forward because our lives aren’t in a place where we’re able to make the changes necessary. If we’re trying to change too much and it’s causing turmoil we can re-think our plan. We can look at the situation again, and determine if we need to wait. If we do, we can decide when we’ll try again, and set the goal aside for now. It doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It means we’re re-tooling to begin again later. We don’t have to accomplish everything today. There is time to get there, and when we’re ready and can successfully move forward, we will. There is no goal beyond our reach. With the proper planning and determination, we can accomplish anything.

Today if you’re frustrated because you haven’t moved forward with a goal you’re trying to achieve, take a look at all the parameters. Is this the best time to move forward? If it is, focus your eyes on the destination and do what is needed to get there. If you need to wait, think about when you can re-visit your plans and start again. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are more capable than you realize. You can conquer anything. Make a plan that will work and take a step forward. The goal is within your reach. You will achieve it.

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Strong as Steel

15 Mar

When things are going well and we feel confident, life seems easy and we can face whatever comes. We feel strong and capable, and aware of our many abilities. People seem friendlier and our lives are comfortable and easy. Unfortunately, those times don’t last forever and eventually something goes wrong. If something goes very wrong and we are knocked down, in our sudden despair we may think we can’t manage things. We may forget how capable we are. When we think of steel we think of how hard and strong it is. But it doesn’t start out that way. It starts with rock that is ground and crushed, and then it’s heated to temperatures near 3000 degrees. There are several steps before the raw ore becomes the finished metal we’re familiar with, and each step is crucial. At the end, because of all the grinding and heating and tempering, we end up with something that is very strong and very hard. In our lives we will face challenges and trials, and as we navigate them, we go through a refining process as well. Each challenge we overcome makes us stronger and more resilient. Nobody wants to go through hard times, but just like making steel, the crushing disappointments, and heat of distress make us strong. With each trial, we burn off more behaviors that hold us back and we get closer to where we want to be. It isn’t comfortable to struggle but as we become stronger the trials become easier. We can be as strong as steel but we have to go through the fire to get there.

When things go wrong we have choices to make. Some people refuse to see problems in their lives. They ignore them, look the other way, talk around them, and don’t acknowledge them. They may hope the problem will work itself out, and some problems actually do. But generally when something needs to be addressed and we ignore it, it simply lies dormant waiting for us. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. If we don’t have the courage to face them when they appear, they will wait until we do. They will cling to us and hold us back from moving forward. Pretending they don’t exist doesn’t help. It’s like pretending the sun isn’t in the sky when it’s shining down on us.

It’s best to face our trials when they arrive, look at them, figure out what to do, and solve them. If they are complex and we can’t solve them today, we can take the first step in resolving them. There isn’t anything we can’t figure out and if we need to we can take the issue apart a little at a time until we’ve found all the answers. If we don’t hide from it, if we look at everything objectively, and we start moving forward through the problem we will solve it. And then we can shake it off and continue on. When we solve our problems we leave them behind. We don’t have to carry them or waste precious energy ignoring them. We can be strong as steel in our lives if we face things head on and endure whatever discomfort we must to get through. We can do anything. We aren’t going to face anything that is too difficult or too hard for us to overcome. We have everything we need right now to face whatever comes.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by an issue pressing on you, and you don’t want to face it, look at it completely. You are intelligent and capable and no matter what the problem is, you will solve it. You have everything you need to find the answers and move forward. You are strong and capable. There isn’t anything that will overcome you. You’re like steel and nothing will break you. You have everything you need. Go forward. The answers are there.

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Choice or Chance

3 Feb

Lots of things happen to us in life. Some of them are planned for and expected, others are surprises, both good and bad. We make a lot of choices that work out, and some that don’t, and sometimes we take a chance that something we want will happen without us doing anything. The only thing we can really control is ourselves and the choices we make. If we’re proactive we’ll make important choices before they need to happen, or at least try to. But if we put them off, sometimes we take a chance that things will work out anyway. We can make choices or we can leave things up to chance. If we don’t take control of our lives, life will take control of them for us. Nobody knows what’s best for us better than we do. It seems therefore that the best course of action is to ensure we’re involved in decisions that impact us. If we just let things happen and do nothing to direct our lives, we may find ourselves in places we didn’t want to go, doing things we don’t want to do.

Making good choices takes time and thought. The big choices like where we’ll live, what we’ll do, who we’ll spend our lives with, and where we’ll go, are up to us to decide. We can create our lives any way we want them. If we don’t like cold weather, we can choose to live in a warm climate. If we hate office work but need a job, we can choose something we enjoy. If we’re in relationships that aren’t working we can change them. No matter what we need to be happy, we can make choices that will bring it to us. We know what we want, and we know who we are. We know what we need to feel successful and confident. It’s important that we do what is necessary to make choices that will enable us to gain everything that makes our lives the way we want them.

Some people have trouble directing their lives and instead just go with the flow. There is nothing wrong with being spontaneous and we don’t have to plan everything, but if we aren’t in control of where we’re going, somebody or something else is. If several influences are involved we may end up doing things we don’t want to do. Our lives belong to us. If we leave our direction up to chance it might be easier for the moment, but in the end the lives we end up with may not be the lives we most want. Only we know what we want the most and unless we determine to make it happen, chances are we’ll never succeed. We have enough courage and wisdom to direct our lives and make whatever choices we need to be happy. Once we decide where we want to go and what we want to do, nothing can stop us. But we have to decide. We can do that. And when we do, the control we feel over our lives will give us the confidence we need to go forward and get to any destination we choose.

Today if you’ve been leaving your decisions up to chance, or letting others decide for you, think about what you really want. You can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do. You’re in charge of your life and you deserve to get everything out of it you desire. Take charge today. Set your path and start moving toward your goals. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are amazing and capable. Decide what you want, and then go get it.

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