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Small World

8 Dec

There are a lot of things we can do in life. There are places to see, people to meet, things to learn and unlimited experiences we can have if we want them. If we want big lives and are open to all kinds of new ideas, we may try many different things. We can travel the world, learn anything that interests us, and do just about anything we dream about. Or we can choose to have a small world by keeping our lives close and only doing what’s comfortable and familiar. If we are brave enough to expand our experiences to new things, we’ll learn more about life and about ourselves. Even if we think something is impossible at first, we often find that once we start we can accomplish far more than we imagined. There is a lot to experience and limitless things to learn. We can only live our days once and then they are gone. Making the most of the time, and stretching our view will create a deeper, richer experience. We can do far more than we think we can. There is so much to see and do and even if we’re intimidated by an experience at first, we can accomplish it. Reaching beyond where we are will teach us new things and broaden our understanding. We may choose a small world where everything is predictable or we may reach further and magnify every single day.

Our lives are ours to design and if we aren’t happy with what we’re doing we can change. We are in control and can do anything we want to do. If we feel unfulfilled or unchallenged, we can choose another path. Our lives are valuable and what we do with them is up to us. We can fill every moment moving toward where we want to be or we can tread water and stay in the same place. It can be scary to try new things and the unknown is often intimidating. But things are only unknown until we open the door and experience them. Then they belong to us. We can reach further than we think we can and do more than we believe. We have enough courage to stretch into the unknown.

If we like, we may keep our lives small and not expand them more than we must. We may stick with what we know and where we feel comfortable. Repetition brings predictability and if we do the same things every day we know what to expect and where the boundaries lie. But repetition may also bring boredom and dissatisfaction. After a time, we may feel unsettled doing the same things over and over again. When we’re ready to venture forward we can open new doors that will bring new experiences and a freshness to our lives. We don’t have to keep our world small to be safe. We can stretch and try new things and expand ourselves to make the unknown ours. There is so much to experience in life. We can do anything we want to do and go as far as we like. If we reach further our lives will be richer and deeper and our understanding will increase.

Today if you’ve been doing the same things for a while and are ready to try something new, go for it. There really isn’t anything you can’t do. This life is the time to experience things and stretch. You can have big, bold experiences beyond what you imagine. Try something new and reach for the stars. They are there for you.

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The Best Gift

3 Oct

For many of us, our lives are filled with activity.  There are things we must accomplish, things we want to do and constant responsibilities that take our time.  Many of us stay busy and sometimes our personal needs fall to the end of the list.  We can be so consumed with the needs of others and pending projects we can forget to take care of ourselves.  It’s good to be actively engaged and productive but the quality of our lives may be affected if we don’t remember our needs are important too.  And the quality of our lives is a gift we give to ourselves.  Although others may do things for us that help, in the end how we take care of our personal needs is up to us.  We have control over how we manage our time and we can give ourselves the best care and consideration even when we’re busy.  We can put ourselves first before anything else.  We can set time aside to do something we enjoy that will bring us respite and refreshment.  And we can make the quality of our lives a priority.  If we take care of our needs first we will have more energy and be happier.  We’ll feel more at peace if we’ve taken the time we need before we give the rest away.  The quality of our lives is the best gift we can give ourselves, and it is always in our power.

Nobody knows exactly how our days go but us.  We interact with others who ask for our time unaware of any personal parameters.  Sometimes we can choose to help or not and other times because of the situation we may be expected to agree.  If there is something we want to be involved in the time spent may be rewarding.  But even with the reward if we expend all our energies outward there will be nothing left for us.  It’s possible to give too much.  Every well will go dry if the water isn’t replenished.  If we believe we don’t deserve personal time we may neglect it and after a while that neglect may affect our demeanor and comfort.  We may find situations that used to make us feel satisfied are no longer enjoyable.  We may feel no accomplishment when we complete a task because there are other tasks waiting for our attention.  Constantly doing for others will take its toll and we may feel used up and exhausted, unhappy with our lives and unsettled.

If we want to be happy we must make taking care of ourselves a priority.  If we are pro-active in planning for the things that mean the most to us – getting to the gym, taking a walk, time for reading, just time out – we’ll feel more relaxed and at peace as we attend to all our responsibilities.  Taking care of ourselves is the most important task we have.  If we are tired, unwell, stressed and over worked, we will be less successful in our projects.  Remembering the quality of our lives is important and doing what is needed to honor that will make that quality high.  We deserve the very best we have to offer and we can give it to ourselves.

Today if you’ve got a lot to accomplish remember to take time out for yourself.  You are the most important thing you need to take care of today.  Give yourself the best gift you can by taking care of your needs first.  You’ll feel calmer and happier and everything else will be easier.

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Seeds

22 Aug

“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.” Indian Proverb

When we’re planting a garden we decide what kinds of vegetables or flowers we want and purchase the seeds we need.  If we want eggplant we buy eggplant seeds and if we want petunias we buy those.  We completely understand we cannot buy pansy seeds and expect to grow petunias.  It’s obvious we need to buy the exact seeds for the result we’re seeking.  Our lives work the same way.  Whatever we do brings a corresponding result.  If we are kind, chances are others will be kind to us in return.  If we are moody and angry, we will generally get a different response.  And if we are dishonest and manipulative, our lives will often bring a harvest of disharmony and distrust.  Everything has a payoff and those payoffs are directly related to what we extend.  Everything we do is like planting a seed.  The returns we get depend on the seeds we plant.  If we are aware and pro-active in our choices, we will get the harvest we want.

It’s easy to plow through our lives without paying attention.  We can let little annoyances become part of our outward expressions and pay no attention to how our behavior impacts those around us.  If we’re having a bad day we can be grumpy and moody and let everyone else know.  But sharing our bad mood with others will do nothing to make us feel better and may have a negative impact on the lives of those around us.  We can plant the seeds of frustration and unhappiness and they will grow.  Or we can remember that our bad day is just a passage and we can keep our unhappiness to ourselves.  We don’t have to be secretive or hide out, but we can smile at those around us even when we don’t feel our best and project a positive outlook even when things aren’t going our way.  We can plant seeds of harmony even when we aren’t feeling our best.

Everything we do today will have an impact on what comes to us tomorrow.  Just like planting seeds in our garden, everything we do will bring us a corresponding response.  If we are dishonest in our dealings with others we may get away with it for a time but eventually we will lose the trust of those around us and our lives will be impacted.  If we manipulate situations to gain what we want regardless of how it affects others we may lose valuable associations and relationships as a result.  The law of the harvest is immutable.  We will reap what we sow.  What we do will always bring a corresponding reaction. There is no way to avoid it.  We may get away with planting discord for a time but eventually the plant will grow and we’ll be accountable for the harvest.  We can pay attention and choose our seeds carefully.  We can have happy and productive lives filled with reward and fulfillment if we plant the seeds that will bring them.

Today be sure the things you do and say will bring you the results you’re seeking.  Remember you’re planting seeds with everything you do.  Choose carefully and plant a garden that will bring you the rewards you want most.

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Wishes and Dreams

29 Mar

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”  Antoine de Saint Exupery

We all have ideas about things we want in our lives.  We think about them, hope for them, and dream about them.  We can fill our lives up thinking about the things we want to happen and what we want to do.  Maybe we want a better job or a nicer car, or want to spend more time doing something or seeing someone, or want to learn something we’ve been pondering.  Thinking is fine, but thinking about them only takes us through the idea of what they would be like.  It doesn’t make anything happen.  We can set all the goals we want, and have all the dreams we desire, but if we don’t make a plan to accomplish them, nothing will change.  The very first step in any change is to plan for it.  Our lives are busy and the days fly by.  We can talk about what we’re going to do, what we’re going to accomplish or what we’re going to get, until the end of time.  But if we do nothing, they will never become reality.

We know when we want something in our lives.  We feel it, we yearn for it, and at times can think of nothing more.  The desire is there but making goals a reality in our lives takes more than desire – it takes action.  Sometimes we don’t move forward because we are afraid we won’t succeed.   Sometimes reaching for the goal means we have to do something intimidating.  Any time we reach for something new we’re going to be in unfamiliar territory.  That’s what change is all about.  If we want something different we have to be willing to step where we’ve never been before.  There will be uncertainty because we don’t know the terrain, and we haven’t walked the path in the past.  But we are certainly brave enough to process differences and find our way.  There is no path so difficult or complicated we can’t figure it out.

Making a plan is imperative to making a change.  When there is no plan there is no direction, and things stay ambiguous and undefined.  But if we decide we’re ready to go forward, make a plan, and then set a date to begin, we will find success.  Just letting things happen will only allow us to experience what comes to us without any thought.  If we want to do anything, we need direction and focus.  There isn’t anything we can’t accomplish but we need to plan to succeed to make it happen.  We can leave our lives up to chance and maybe the things we want will come to us – maybe they won’t.  But if we really want them, we can take the chance out of the equation, and by planning make them real.  We deserve the lives we want most.  And if we direct our lives where we want them to go, we can have everything we’re seeking.

Today if you’ve been waiting for your dreams to come true, start making a plan to make them a reality.  There isn’t anything you can’t accomplish.  Think about what you really want and then decide how to get it.  Everything is waiting for you.  You can reach any goal you set your mind to.  Start today, and soon all your dreams will come true.

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Opening the door.

28 Mar

When my son was about a year old, I sat him in his highchair and gave him his first popsicle.  He grabbed it from my hand grasping the frozen top instead of the handle and immediately stuck it in his mouth.  He loved it!  However, his hand was gripping the icy popsicle itself instead of the wooden handle.  I tried to pry his fingers off to move them down but he would not let go.  Quickly he began to cry because his fingers were freezing and were beginning to hurt, but he kept putting the popsicle in his mouth through all the tears, and had no way of knowing what the problem was.  I kept trying to loosen his grip but he thought I was taking his delicious treat away from him and he held on even tighter, continuing to cry and scream because his hand was hurting.  It took a few minutes but I was finally able to tug the popsicle from his iron grip, at which point he shrieked, tears pouring down his face.  I gently put the stick into his hand and finally he realized he could eat his treat without pain – finally holding it in the right place!  It was a very tense and comical situation while all of this was going on – me trying to comfort him while taking his hands off his prize, and him screaming because he wanted the popsicle and his hand was freezing.

I have never forgotten this experience.  Why?  Because there have been times in my life where I, too, have been holding onto the popsicle, screaming in pain, but refusing to let go.  Let me explain.

Sometimes we get to a place in our lives where we want something very badly.  We really want it.  We want it with all our hearts – but – there is something else holding us back from getting it.  Not necessarily something on the outside, but often something inside of us.  We have been hurt before so we are afraid to go forward.  We are unsure because it’s new territory and we don’t know how it will go, so we hesitate.  We aren’t positive we can handle the thing we want so badly.  We think we can but we aren’t completely sure.

So we get to the door, we go all the way up to it, it’s right there, that last step we need to take to move forward.  Our hand is on the knob, we can feel the tension, we are right there, but we can’t open it.  We want to, really want to, but if we open it everything will change.  We would have to let go of all our fears, all our insecurities about the decision and just go for it.  That takes determination, and it takes courage.  We really don’t know what will happen if we open the door.  We think it’ll be great.  We really want to do this, but we stop.  We are holding onto the popsicle too tightly. We don’t want to lose what we have, even if what we can gain is so much better.  We can’t let go.

Life is complex.  We go through so many changes, we travel so many different roads, we experience so many things.  We get hurt, we get happy, we get disappointed, we get relief, we cover the whole gamut of human emotional experiences.  And each one of them leaves a track – not always a scar – but definitely a track because we’ve traveled through it. Sometimes those experiences cause us to hesitate because they were painful and hard to overcome.  Some of them we have not overcome yet, and when we think of them they still hurt.  And so, the hesitation.

It’s a gamble.  There are no guarantees.  Everything is up for grabs.  We never know if things will go the way we think they will, the way we hope they will, or even they way we want them to.  But, if we don’t try, if we don’t ever open the door to the new experiences, we will never know.  We will stay in exactly the same situation we are in now, and never get to find out how it could have been.  The other side of the door holds new challenges, new opportunities, new decisions, and may offer new happiness.  It may also offer new sadness, but we won’t know if we never open it.  Getting close doesn’t really count for anything in the end.  Getting right up to the door doesn’t change anything.  We have to open it and walk through it.

Every day I hear people complain because their lives aren’t what they hoped they would be.  They aren’t living the life they really want and they are unhappy.  But the truth is that we all have the power to change our lives, we all have the power to try new things to be happy, every day.  But in order to do that, we have to let go of the popsicle.  We have to let go of the things that are holding us back, and we have to open the new door.   Will it be scary – probably.  Will it be unnerving – maybe.  Can we do it?  Absolutely.

What are you holding onto that is holding you back?  What are you afraid of?  What doors are waiting for you to open?  Walk up to them.  Put your hand on the knob, let go of the popsicle, shake it off, and open the door.  Take the chance.  Be brave – don’t look back, look forward.  It’s waiting for you.

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