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Lies, Lies, and More Lies

19 Nov

We can say anything we want about anyone or any situation. We can make up stories about our lives, our successes, our families, our history, or anything else we want to. We can tell people we care about them when we don’t, tell others we’ll call them when we have no intention of doing so, or anything else that pops into mind. There is no truth police except our own conscience and if we ignore that and don’t care about ethics or morality, we can create any sort of life we want to by lying. Some people think there are degrees of lying and it’s okay to tell them if they don’t mean much or don’t hurt others. For instance, if we get invited to a party and don’t want to attend, we could say we have another commitment, even if we don’t. Then we don’t have to go to the party, and the host isn’t hurt because we made up a plausible excuse. Some call those “white lies.” But whatever color we call it, it’s still a lie. And once we’re caught in one, which will inevitably happen, we lose the trust of those around us. Nobody can believe a liar. Nobody will even try.

Instead of telling lies outright, we can do it in obscure and ambiguous ways. We could create confusion and misdirection to mask what is really going on. Although we aren’t outright lying to the other party, we are doing things to keep the truth from them. What about when we tell lies to protect others? If we care about someone but know we can’t commit to the serious relationship they want, we could lead them on and hope that eventually they’ll figure things out on their own. That way we don’t have to tell the painful truth, and they’ll be happy at least for a while. We aren’t really lying with words, but we’re deceiving them just the same. Whether we speak them or live them, lies damage our credibility and our self respect. And will eventually damage our relationships with others.

Is it imperative to be honest in all things? Are there exceptions to the rule? We all have to make personal judgment calls in every decision. But telling lies and living dishonestly complicates our lives. We must remember exactly what we’ve said, who we’ve told, and what we’ve done. Since it’s all fiction, we have to keep our stories straight, which can take a lot of energy and planning if we’ve been lying for a while. It’s far easier and simpler in the long run to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even if we’ve done something embarrassing or hurtful, it’s best to own up to it and face the music. No dance lasts forever, and no matter what we’ve done we will move through it. Determining to be honest in every interaction will free us from guilt and shame, and the difficulty of untangling lies. People will respect our honesty, honor our integrity, and trust us implicitly. And having the trust of others is a great blessing.

Today if you’ve gotten tangled up in a dishonest situation, you can straighten things out by telling the truth. No matter what has happened already, clear the way by being completely honest going forward. Those around you will learn they can trust you and be glad to interact with you. You are worth more than you can imagine. Honor your value by being as honest as possible. Let others believe you, and depend on you, and be the gift you were designed to be.

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Square One

13 Nov

When we’re working on something, or trying to move forward with a situation in our lives, we try to choose the best course. But sometimes after we’ve been at it for a while we find we’re in the wrong place, and what we’ve been doing isn’t working. And then we have to stop, and rethink the situation. It can feel defeating to discover we are back at square one again, and we have to start over realizing all the progress we thought we were making was an illusion. We need to regroup and reconsider where to go from here. Being at square one after we’ve been working to move forward can feel like failure, but there is sometimes no way to see where we’re going until we get there. Choosing the wrong path doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we tried one option that didn’t work. Returning to the beginning again isn’t always a step backward. Sometimes it’s the next step forward. We’ve discovered what doesn’t work and are wiser from the experience. Now we can choose again knowing more than we knew before.

Nobody can tell the future and there is no way to know how things will develop. Even if we try to consider all the possible complications that may occur, there is bound to be one we didn’t see. All we can do is use the information we have to formulate our best plan and go forward. When that doesn’t work, we have to try again. We never fail when we keep trying, but only if we stop and give up. Some things work out the first time, but often when we’re trying to learn new things, accomplish something complicated, or correct our path, it takes a few attempts before we figure things out. We learn as we go and each experience gives us valuable information to use going forward.

The expectations of others sometimes create stress as we are trying to find our way. There may be some who expect us to get everything right the first time, or some who are impatient with how long it takes us to get the job done. But we are all different, and we process things differently. We can take a little more time if we need to, and we can try a few different roads until we succeed. When we do things our way we’ll find what works and we will succeed. We are capable of figuring out any problem or situation that comes to us. Returning to square one will enable us to reevaluate, and use the new information we have to determine the best way forward.

Today if what you’ve been doing isn’t working, you can change your course. Start over, rethink the situation, and look at it again with all the information you have. You will find your way and you’ll be successful. Returning to square one is not failure. It’s the chance to begin again. Use it to define what will work and you’ll succeed.

 

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Which Way

9 Nov

There are countless directions we can take with our lives. We can do anything we want and we can choose our direction any way we see fit. Whichever way we choose to go will take us to a specific destination. Whether we are successful or not depends first on our ability to identify where we want to end up. If we want to be a scientist, we have to choose an education that will open the door for us. If we want to be a dancer, we have to begin learning steps. It’s impossible to achieve anything unless we direct our course appropriately and do what is needed to get there. It’s a simple concept, but we can get confused and although we think we know where we want to go, may actually be on the wrong road to get there. Life is complex and our path is affected by a lot of influences and forces we can’t control. But we can control our decisions, and once we decide what we want, we can also control our direction to achieve it.

It’s important in any endeavor to think about where our feet are pointing. Some destinations have a lot of routes that will take us there, and some have only a few. For instance, if we want to a career that requires a college education, we must get on the road that will give us that education to open the door to that career. But if we want to do humanitarian work, there are many paths we could choose. The first step is to define where we want to go. Where do we want to end up? What do we want to accomplish? What’s the goal? Once we determine those things, we can begin to chart our course. After we make our plan, complications will inevitably begin. It seems there is no end to complications in this life and most things are never as easy as they seem at the beginning. But no matter what happens, if we know where we want to end up, and we keep our eyes on the goal, we can continue moving forward, and in time we will achieve it.

Sometimes in the middle of a journey, we change, and decide to alter our course to accommodate a new destination. There is certainly nothing wrong with changing our minds, but if all we do is continually change the goal, we may never accomplish much. We can do anything but there are so many choices it takes focus to choose well and stick to a decision. Focusing and sticking are imperative if we want to succeed.  Once we get to one destination, if we like, we may immediately plot a new course that will take us to the next goal. If we remember what we want to do, if we plan and stay true in each decision, we will accomplish a lot in our lives, and in the end, will be successful in doing all the things we want to do.

Today if you’ve been thinking about your direction, if you aren’t sure your feet are pointing to the destination you most want, re-set your course. You can accomplish any goal you set out to do. Once you’ve made your decision, stick to it and keep moving forward. Take things as they come and stay focused on the road ahead. You can do anything you set your mind to. Point your feet in the direction you want to travel, take a step forward, and you’ll realize all your dreams.

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Armored Car

2 Nov

Everyone gets hurt from time to time.  People let us down, break their promises, forget commitments, and things go wrong.  We depend on others as we go through our days, and sometimes they drop the ball.  When we get hurt badly it can be hard to regain our footing.  We may determine to no longer trust anyone, but that will never work in our favor.  Still, if we’ve been hurt deeply we may put walls up around us thinking they will protect us.  Like an armored car, we bury ourselves under layers of protection in order to prevent anyone from getting in, and hurting us again.  While those layers may protect us in some ways, they also work against us.  If we don’t let people get close to us we might not get hurt, but we may also lose our ability to feel a real connection.  Superficial relationships will never allow us to feel deep affection for anyone.  Strong feelings of attachment and love are beneficial, and are among the most valuable experiences we can have.  Without those connections, we lose a big part of our human experience.

Nobody gets through life without getting hurt.  We may be wounded in one way or another simply because of our interactions and trust for others.  In every exchange, and in every relationship, there is an element of risk.  Allowing others to get close to us makes us vulnerable and when we’re vulnerable there is always the possibility of getting hurt.  We can decide the risk isn’t worth whatever we might gain and keep everyone in our lives at a distance.  If we do that we may never have the extreme pleasure and reward of sharing ourselves with someone else on an intimate level.  We may never experience true feelings of love.

If we develop strong feelings for someone and entrust them with our hearts, and they are not valiant or don’t cherish us in return, their choices and actions may hurt us.  They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but when we’re devastated it’s hard to believe that.  We have a lot to offer and we deserve the very best relationships possible.  If that doesn’t happen and we let someone else’s bad choices change how we live our lives, we may end up losing even more.  Sometimes those that hurt us don’t even care what we’re going through or what they’ve done that has devastated us.  Sometimes all they see is themselves.  Allowing their decisions and bad behavior to define our path going forward gives away our power.  We need to have power over our lives to live successfully.  If we determine that even though we’ve been hurt to live our lives openly and well, that we won’t let a bad experience change our course, we will keep our power.  And we will find happiness again.

Today if you’ve been badly hurt by someone close to you, don’t forget your real focus.  Keep your control.  You know what’s best for you, and you know how to go forward.  You will find your way back to happiness and you’ll be wiser from the experience.  Don’t let someone else’s bad decisions determine your future.  You deserve only the best.  Keep your eyes on the goal and you’ll find it.

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At Odds

18 Oct

When we decide we want to do something, or change something in our lives, the decision often comes with the need to modify our behavior in some way. Making the decision to change may be easier than implementing the necessary adjustments to our behavior to make the change a reality. For instance if we want to get fit but don’t take the time to exercise, or want to be more educated but don’t want to study, we work against ourselves. We are at odds with what we want to do. If we ignore what is needed to implement the change, and instead simply complain about not being successful, we will fail. It’s good to define our goals, but without action to make them happen, we aren’t going anywhere.

Routines give us a sense of order. We know what to expect, we know how we’re going to spend our time, and we feel comfortable in the sameness they offer. When we decide we want to change, it often means we also have to change our routine. We have to vary things and re-order them to accommodate the new challenge. Things may be bumpy for a while as we adjust to the new schedule. We will have to plan instead of just go through the motions, and pay attention so we adhere to the new model. The transition may be uncomfortable but if we keep the goal in mind we’ll get through more easily. After we’ve kept to the new agenda for a while, it will replace our previous routine and we’ll go forward with more confidence.

Change requires effort. Adjusting our routine is important but it’s just one step. We must also adhere to the actions needed to facilitate the change we’re seeking. Once we’ve decided what we want to do we must devote the required time and activity to the goal to achieve it. A half attempt will result in a half success, which really isn’t success at all. If we want something, we are perfectly capable of getting it. But we have to take the time and effort needed to get it done. We can live an easy life and do the same things every day. Or we can determine to get the most out of our time, push ourselves, and dedicate our lives to excellence and success. A life lived fully, and without reserve, brings more happiness and joy than a life lived complacently. The choice is ours, and we need to be sure the choice we make is the one we want the most.

Today if you’ve been trying to make a change and haven’t been successful, review your routine and make a plan to include whatever is needed for you to move forward. You can make any change you want, and you can do it effectively. Plan your actions to find success. Achieving your goals will bring you great satisfaction and confidence. Take charge and do what is needed to get there. You can do this. Push forward and you’ll reach the finish line.

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