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Moving In

31 Mar

Sometimes the bottom falls out of our plans, the road we’re on suddenly turns to the left or a door we’re walking through abruptly slams in our faces.  There may be moments when everything changes at once in ways that upend us and our vision ahead is temporarily blocked.  When we face sudden and unexpected setbacks we may lose our composure, have a meltdown and come unglued.  Nobody is perfect and unforeseen immediate loss is hard to face.  When it happens it’s important to remember we are going through a difficult passage that is temporary.  We don’t have to move into the disaster and let it consume us or become a permanent scar that we continually pick at and obsess over.  Nothing in life is forever and tomorrow, no matter what we’re facing today, something will change.  No disaster lasts forever and we don’t have to pack up and move into sorrow.  We can navigate the problem even if it’s far reaching, reign in our emotions so we can think, and find a way to continue.  We can regain our composure and face whatever we must to move forward.  No life is without disappointment and no matter what happens it is not a permanent fixture.  We can step back, see everything objectively, take the time we need to readjust and grieve, and then we can begin again.  There will always be blessings ahead for us no matter where we are now.  We can find happiness and peace again as we continue on.

When we’re overcome with disappointment or sorrow it may be hard to see the road ahead.  But even when we can’t see it, it’s there for us.  There will always be a way forward no matter what has happened.  It may take time for us to recover from the setback and we can take it.  We can stand still to regroup and refocus.  We can breathe quietly until we are ready to begin again.  No matter when we step forward, there will be a road waiting.  We are always in control of our direction and what we want to do.  Nothing can stop us when we’re ready to move forward.

If something has completely changed the direction of our lives or has a lasting impact on what we can do going forward we can still find a way to happiness.  There are countless destinations and endless journeys we may travel.  We can change our way forward and find a new path.  There is nothing we can’t overcome or conquer.  We can determine that no matter what we will find our way.  Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves.  We deserve every happiness and we can have it no matter what comes to us.

Today if you’re facing a huge roadblock and everything you thought was real has suddenly changed, take a moment to step back and give yourself time to think.  There is a road ahead for you that will lead you to happiness.  You deserve the best of everything.  You can overcome any problem or complication and succeed.  Revise your journey forward and begin again.  Nothing can stop you and you will win.

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It’s Not My Fault

18 Oct

We have many experiences every single day and sometimes our lives don’t exactly go the way we planned or the way we most want them to. When things go wrong because we run late, we miss an appointment, we overextend ourselves, or we drop the ball on a responsibility, it’s tempting to say “It’s not my fault,” and then blame the circumstance or someone else involved. Sometimes things really are out of our control and we aren’t responsible for the result, but other times, although we may want to blame someone else, the problem lies with us. When we are the reason things go wrong it’s best to accept our part in the problem and then find a way to fix it. There is great blessing in understanding personal responsibility. It’s a gift that enables us to find our way and clarify our path forward more successfully. When we fully acknowledge exactly what we’re doing when we falter we can learn how to be more successful in reaching our goals. Nobody gets everything right every time. We all take left turns from time to time. Understanding when we’ve failed to follow through and learning from the experience helps us become more honest with ourselves and those around us. And that honesty allows us to see where we need to change to find greater success.

It’s easy to point our fingers outward when things go awry. There are countless excuses we may offer and some of them may be valid. But even if our excuse is valid, we are still responsible for the promise we made. If we own our responsibility, and claim obligation over it we will often find a way to complete it as promised. Our ability to follow through on our promises reflects who we truly are. If we take them lightly and offer excuses when we drop the ball, we may lose the trust of those around us. But if we do all we can to honor them, making no excuses for failure, others will know they can depend on us.

Things go wrong sometimes and we can’t predict the future. If we simply cannot fulfill a commitment we’ve made, we can discuss the situation with the others involved and together come up with a plan to work around the problem. We can be pro-active and acknowledge when things aren’t going to work out. If we over commit, we can revise the plan. If our schedule changes and we can’t complete something we’ve promised, we can ask for help. Communicating our concerns will help us resolve any issue that arises and address a situation before we fail. There isn’t anything we can’t handle. We can keep our promises and we can move forward with confidence and clarity and address any problems that come our way.

Today if you realize you aren’t going to be able to keep a commitment you’ve made, address the situation openly and find a workable solution. Revise your plan and do what is needed to work around the problem. You are wise enough to solve any problem that comes your way. Face it head on and continue moving forward with confidence.

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In the Middle

17 Jun

There are times in our lives when decisions must be made that affect others involved.  When everyone agrees on the same choice it’s easy to move forward and get things done.  But we’re all different and our ideas about how things should go sometimes don’t match.  We may feel our solution is best and then be confronted with someone who disagrees.  If the choices are vastly different, there may be conflict as the final decision is determined.  We all understand that compromises must be made from time to time but if we feel strongly about going a certain direction and someone else feels strongly about going the opposite way it may be hard to find common ground.  And sometimes there isn’t anything common within the choices.  When that happens we can find a way to go forward by looking for a solution somewhere in the middle of both directions.  It won’t be exactly the way we want it but it won’t be exactly the other way either.  We can give and take some control.  We don’t have to give it all up but we can’t take it all either.  Finding the middle allows both sides to compromise without giving up anyone’s entire choice.  It isn’t always easy, especially if strong feelings are involved, but it is the best way to ensure we continue to move forward.  If we dig in and refuse to give up anything we’ll end up stuck and that gets us nowhere.

If we find ourselves in a situation where we absolutely believe we are right and the other side is completely wrong it may be hard to hear why we should alter our decision.  Our choice may be an excellent option but rarely is there only one way to get anything done.  There are many ways to do everything and although our ideas may be great, it’s important to remember there are lots of great ideas.  If we openly listen to all the options presented and take the time to really understand another perspective we will more easily be able to compromise.  Allowing all the other points of view to be considered opens the door for new perspectives.  And those new perspectives teach us more about the situation and the options available.

Sometimes we may feel there is only one answer for a problem we’re facing.  There is only one way we can see to get through it.  When that happens if we patiently explain our position and why we believe it must go that way others will be more receptive to our solution than if we simply tell them this is the way it’s going to go.  We all deserve to be heard.  Finding the place in the middle is possible if we respect everyone’s opinion as much as our own.  Even when we’re sure we’re right, sometimes after hearing another viewpoint we may see where we could modify and find an even better solution.  Listening allows us to hear.  And hearing all the possibilities helps us find the best answers.  We are fully capable of making our own decisions but we are also capable of collaborating those decisions when needed.  Collaboration brings a more cooperative partnership and helps us move forward more effectively.

Today if you’ve made a decision and you’re sure it’s the best way but others disagree, listen to their perspective and understand their point of view.  You’ll learn more and your views will broaden.  Stretch your vision to find a compromise that works for everyone and you’ll feel more support and unity going forward.  We’re all in this together.  Join hands with those around you to get the job done.

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Tiny Pebbles

28 May

Sometimes when we we’re walking along we may get a small stone in our shoe. We feel it under our foot and it’s aggravating as we walk. While not cripplingly painful, it’s an annoyance that’s uncomfortable. We can stop and remove our shoe and shake it out. After we remove it we can continue on without discomfort. Because the stone is so small if we had to walk with it in our shoe we probably could continue but we would always be aware of its presence. Stopping and removing it is the only way to find relief. Our lives can be like that at times. There may be something bothering us on the periphery that isn’t crippling but is annoying and constant. Perhaps it’s a discussion we need to have with someone else that we’ve put off. Or maybe someone did something that hurt us and we haven’t been able to let it go. There are a million things that could be drifting around in the background that don’t stop us from moving forward, but are bothersome and keep our attention. The only way to remove them is the same as removing the annoying pebble in our shoe. We must stop, address the issue, do what it takes to resolve it, and then move on.

We all have boundaries in our lives and when we clearly define them and understand them we can work around them. But if we let others broach those boundaries in ways that make us uncomfortable and don’t tell them where our lines are, we may be hurt as they stomp all over them. Nobody knows us like we know ourselves. If we don’t communicate what doesn’t work for us, others may make choices that are difficult for us to manage. When that happens if we speak up we have the chance to remove the pebble and move forward. If we are silent, things will remain the same. We are responsible for our own lives. If we don’t like what’s happening, we can speak up.

There may be times when those close to us do things that make us uncomfortable. We can talk to them, explain our discomfort, and ask them to change. But we can only control ourselves and the decisions made by others belong to them. Sometimes even after explaining our feelings people will continue on the same way despite our discomfort. If they are important to us we might just accept that and find a way around the situation because we care about them. Relationships are complicated and sometimes we may choose to go along even when we aren’t happy about the direction. The annoyance will still be there but if we’ve explained our position and asked for what we need, even if things don’t change, we can feel confident that we did all we could. We are responsible for our own happiness and asking for what we want is the best we can do. We won’t always get it but speaking up empowers us to move forward.

Today if you have a situation that’s been bothering you that you haven’t addressed, do what is needed to resolve it. You have all the courage necessary to take care of it. Face whatever is keeping you from being happy and move forward. You deserve to be completely happy. Remove whatever pebble is in your shoe and you’ll find comfort.

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Biting Back

29 Apr

Recently there was a news story about a zebra in Africa who while crossing a river was attacked by an alligator.  The alligator bit him and another was circling to take him down but the zebra refused to simply surrender and viciously bit back.  Stunned, the alligator was disoriented for a moment which gave the zebra time to climb out of the river to safety.  This was newsworthy because evidently animals don’t usually bite back at alligators when they are being attacked and generally just try to escape.  But in this instance the zebra was having none of that and fought back to save its life.  In our lives we may never be attacked by alligators but we probably will find ourselves in situations where we feel we’re being attacked by others.  When that happens, just like that zebra, we have a choice to make.  We can simply try to escape the attack or we can fight back.  That doesn’t mean we have to bite anyone, but we can certainly stand up for ourselves and defend our positions.

There are all kinds of people in the world and throughout the course of our lives we will come into contact with a wide spectrum of personalities.  Some people are nice, some not so nice, some polite, some rude – the varieties and expressions are endless.  When we encounter someone who doesn’t like us or something we’ve done we may find ourselves in a situation where we feel we’re being attacked.  If that happens, how we handle it will affect whatever comes after the issue has passed.  If we run from the situation and try to ignore it we may not find a satisfactory resolution.  If we react by maliciously fighting back we may impact the chance for a positive relationship.  We don’t have to take any criticisms lying down.  We can defend ourselves and our positions and we can do it in ways that enable us to go forward with confidence.

If we quietly listen when we are faced with a confrontation and allow the other person to completely state their feelings and concerns, even if they are wrong, it will open the door to communication.  After the complaint has been clearly stated we may respond to the problem and explain whatever is needed to clear the air.  Perhaps we’ve made a mistake and if so, we can recognize that.  If the allegations are false and the attack unwarranted, we can explain our position.  If we are patient and remain calm during the attack our “bite back” will be more effective in clearing the way to resolution.  In all our dealings, resolving conflict will make the road forward easier than if we engage in an all-out battle of wills.  Like the zebra, we don’t have to take any attack without responding.  But if we respond with patience, and quietly explain our position, and if we maintain our personal control, we will move forward more effectively.

Today if you feel you’ve been attacked unfairly, take the time to listen to the issues carefully and respond patiently and calmly.  Ask questions if you are unsure of the problem and explain your position.  You are capable of managing any conflict that comes your way and resolving it.  Choose the best road forward.  Being the best you can be will pave the way for you.

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