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Intentions

1 Mar

There are a lot of things we all want to do in our lives. We accomplish some of them, we plan for some of them, and we let some of them go as we change. Sometimes we intend to do certain things but for reasons we didn’t plan on, can’t explain, or don’t want to explore we don’t do them. They say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are things we plan to do that will benefit us or others in some way. There is nothing wrong with having good intentions, and when we say we’ll do something most of the time we sincerely intend to do it. But there are times when because of pressure from others, or situations we aren’t quite ready to face, we might agree to something or promise something we know we’ll never actually do. Perhaps we agree because something important depends on it and we don’t want to lose that, or it will get everyone to stop asking. Or maybe we go along because it’s important to someone we love, and although we really have no intention of following through, it will buy us the time we think we need to get what we want. The road to hell is what we end up on when we continually break our word, and don’t follow through on what we’ve said we’d do. Others stop trusting us, and we lose credibility with those we care most about. If we continue doing this, we may even lose our relationships with them.

What we say is important. It gives others a view of who we could be but not necessarily who we are. Who we really are isn’t what we say, but what we actually do. Talking only goes so far and doesn’t make anything happen. If all we do is talk about what we want, and how we feel, but do nothing, and make promises we never intend to keep, eventually nobody will believe anything we say. All the beautiful words in the world don’t mean anything unless we follow them up with action. If we say we love someone but do nothing to show that love, never see them, don’t spend time with them, and are never available for them, all our professions of love, no matter how tender and beautiful, mean nothing. Our actions tell the real truth.

There are a lot of reasons why we sometimes say things and don’t follow through. Our lives are complicated, our relationships can be complicated too, and if we feel pressure to be a certain way or do certain things, even if we don’t want to, we may agree. But
when we say we’ll do something and then don’t do it, we are responsible for that decision. It may be easier to go along in the beginning, but it makes us dishonest with those around us in the end. We need to be honest in all our decisions, and we have sufficient courage to do that. We are entitled to our personal choices even if they are different than what those close to us want us to do. Our lives belong to us and we own every decision we make. We can do things our way with confidence and we can honestly say no when we need to. We can choose to live our lives with integrity and truth. When we do, we’ll step off the road to hell and onto the road to happiness. And being on the road to happiness is the best place to be.

Today if you’ve been saying you’ll do something to keep the peace or get what you want, but have no intention of following through, choose to be honest. Clear the deception and be truthful about what you want and what you’ll do. You have everything you need to be the best you can be. Today choose well. You’ll feel better and those around you will appreciate your integrity.

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Mother May I

19 Feb

When we were children as a way of protecting us from doing things beyond our ability to manage or that may hurt us, we were taught to ask for permission. Whenever we wanted to do something away from home, or anything different than the norm we were expected to ask first.  If we rebelled against that requirement and did something without asking, and it was something that should have been discussed prior, there were often unpleasant consequences to face afterward. And so we learned to ask or at least to make sure it was okay before proceeding. As we got older our lives became more independent and eventually we began to make decisions on our own. Permission is an agreement from someone in authority over us that we may do something we want to do. As adults, outside of work, or social situations where others may be impacted, we don’t need anyone’s permission to make our personal decisions. We are capable of choosing on our own.  The days of “Mother may I,” have passed.

Despite the fact that we are perfectly capable of managing our lives, we can get into situations with others where we feel we need to get their agreement in our personal decisions. Perhaps it’s a close friend who has a strong personality and wants to guide us. Perhaps the old patterns with our parents still linger. Perhaps it’s a relationship we value greatly and the other person wants control over or input into our decisions. There are lots of reasons we can feel we need to get permission or approval before going forward. But our lives belong to us and only us. We can make any personal decisions we want to and we don’t need anyone’s approval. We don’t have to tell anyone before we make a decision, even if it’s one we know others may not like. Our decisions are ours. We can make them on our own, be confident in our ability to choose well, and direct our lives accordingly.

People are complex. We have all kinds of emotions and feelings to contend with on a daily basis. Sometimes we may be fearful of doing something differently than what others may expect. That fear may prevent us from making decisions we really want to make. Or we might be unsure we can make a good decision without getting the approval of others first because we’ve always done that in the past. But we know how to make good decisions. We know how to weigh all the options and choose what’s best for us. Nobody really knows what’s best for us better than we do, not even those who love us. We are the only ones who know everything that’s going on inside and what we truly want. We know who we are and are able to make good, strong choices. If others disagree that will be their burden to carry. It is not our responsibility to ensure everyone is happy with the way we choose to live our lives. If we can remember that and trust in ourselves, we can go forward and make any decision we choose to with confidence. We can do anything. We just have to decide.

Today if you’ve been holding back on a personal decision because you know somebody won’t like it or won’t agree, if it’s important to you, go forward. You know what you need and what you want. There is nothing you can’t do. You are in charge of your life and can make it any way you want it. This is your day. Choose to make it completely yours.

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Recess

12 Feb

When we were children in school, and the day was marching along from one subject to another, the best part of the day for most of us was recess. It was a break from sitting still and listening, from answering questions, and trying to be quiet. We got to run outside in the fresh air, laugh and play with friends, make noise and move around as much as we wanted. When it was over and time to return to our classrooms, we felt refreshed and all the extra energy building up inside us was released. It was like a reset button to get us going again. As adults we may have forgotten about recess, but it’s still an effective way for us to refresh ourselves and get a little release from the stress and pressure of our everyday tasks. We can incorporate a little recess into our daily routines, go outside, take a walk, get something to drink or a snack, and enjoy a change of scenery. It need not take long to be effective. Just a few minutes away from our routine can refresh us and give us a boost. Even though we’re well past elementary school, recess can still have a place in our lives. If we take it every day, plan for it and enjoy it, it can be a valuable asset we give to ourselves. It can bring us new perspective and fresh ideas. Just like when we were kids, recess may reset our day and make us feel better.

Going outside for a short break of fresh air has all kinds of benefits. Some studies show that when we go outdoors, we have increased energy and a heightened sense of well-being. Stress can cause an elevation in blood pressure and heart rate, and increase muscle tension. Additionally it may suppress our immune systems and makes us more susceptible to illness and infection. Being outside, even for a short time, may reduce stress, making us feel better emotionally and physically. With all we have to do and the stress attached to it, taking a short recess may bring us all those benefits.

When we’re bogged down in the weeds of everything we’re trying to accomplish, sometimes we can only see what’s right in front of us. If we are intensely focused on our work we may not even look up for hours on end. Stopping for a few minutes and taking a break to go outside and take a short walk, and get a change in scenery can do wonders for our creative processes. We see things differently and even a few minutes away can make us think of things in a different way. New ideas may emerge and when we return, we may find we have answers to problems that before had confounded us. A short recess may recharge us and help us to move forward. It’s something that’s easy to forget but if we schedule it, and make time for it, it can have long range benefits. We don’t have to work constantly and if we take a short break from time to time, just to let our minds wander and look at something new, we might find our days moving forward more easily and with less effort. Recess was a great idea when we were children. It’s a great idea for us as adults too. We can take it, enjoy it, and make the most of it, and it will reduce stress, and increase our happiness.

Today if you’ve been working hard on something that has your complete attention, look up and take a break. Go outside and enjoy a short walk. Look around and let your mind wander. You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you’ll feel and when you return to your work, everything will be just a little easier. You do so much. You deserve to be comfortable and enjoy yourself. Take recess today.  You’ll love it!

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Eating an Elephant

11 Feb

There are times in all of our lives when we have a lot to do, things are complicated, and we’re under stress. A hundred things could be happening, and we may find ourselves struggling to keep up and manage it all. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at times like these and we may think we can’t handle it. When there’s a lot going on and a lot expected of us, we can feel like we’re chasing a train. There is no way to catch it but it can seem we’re expected to anyway. It’s hard to navigate everything when there’s a lot happening, but we can manage it more effectively if we step back and take it one step at a time. If we do the first step, and then the next, one after the other we’ll manage everything and get to the finish line. We don’t have to look ahead and try to do all that must be done going forward. It’s enough to tackle what must be done today. We can keep the long range goal in our sites, but if we focus only on what we must accomplish today, we will more effectively move forward. Stress can make it hard to think and see things clearly. Taking one day at a time will help alleviate that. Perhaps you’ve heard the old question, “How do you eat an elephant?” We all know the answer – one bite at a time. The same is true when we have a lot weighing on us. We can accomplish it by taking it one bite at a time.

There are many facets to our lives and at times it seems every one of them is pressing for our attention. Perhaps our families have special needs, and our projects at work are intense, and the car needs servicing, and we have to get supplies for the neighborhood party, and we forgot we promised to help a friend with a repair, and a dozen other things. Each task is easy to complete on its own, but when they are all jumbled together we can feel buried alive with no air to breathe. But each task, no matter how pressing, can be managed. If we take a few moments and make a plan, and determine how much we can accomplish today and what we can postpone until tomorrow, we will succeed. We are perfectly capable of managing our lives, no matter how complicated they become. We have the key to un-complicate them. We just need to take care of today. Tomorrow we’ll do tomorrow. And the next day we’ll manage that day. If we take it one step at at time, we’ll succeed in getting everything completed.

In this day and age it seems there are more expectations on us than ever before. There is always something more others want from us. But we are in control of our lives and we can say no if we need to. We don’t have to do everything we’re asked to do. We know how much we have already, and if adding more to the “to do” list will break the bank, we can decline. Saying no is an appropriate and sensible choice when saying yes would overwhelm us. We may disappoint the person asking for our time, but agreeing to do something we don’t have time for will only set us up for failure. It’s better to wisely monitor our choices so we can accomplish the commitments we’ve made. We are in charge of our lives and our decisions. It’s fine to say no when we need to. Being proactive in our choices will help us feel more control and enable us to better manage our responsibilities. We all want to be helpful, but sometimes that means we need to take care of what we have already and decline the opportunity to do more.

Today if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all you have to do, stop for a moment and look at what you can reasonably accomplish today. Make a plan to complete those tasks and tomorrow begin again. You can do anything but you can’t do it all at once. Just take care of today. One step at a time is all you need to take. Keep moving forward and you’ll find all the success you’re seeking.

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Stuck

5 Feb

We have all kinds of options and opportunities in our lives. There are limitless choices we can make. We can do anything we want to do, go anywhere we want to go, and spend our time with anyone we choose. We can exercise our options at any time and change our situation whenever we feel we need to. But sometimes we forget we have the power to do these things, and we get stuck. Maybe we’re in a relationship that has been a part of our lives for a long time and although we aren’t happy, it has become routine, and we aren’t sure how to break free.  Maybe it’s a career we fell into that isn’t fulfilling but changing to something new is unsettling so we soldier on. And maybe it’s just a lifestyle we formed when we were younger that no longer fits who we are, but we aren’t sure how to change it. We get stuck in routines, in expectations, and in responsibilities. We can forget that we’re in control of our lives but if we want to be happy, really happy, we can do whatever it takes to get there. We can change anything even if it’s been a part of our lives for years. We deserve to be completely happy and feel we’re in charge of our future. We can do anything, but first we have to recognize where we are and decide if it’s where we want to be.

There is no pre-recorded path for our lives. Some people believe in fate and that we are destined to travel a certain road, but that flies in the face of reason. If we were all fated, we wouldn’t be able to choose our own way, but we can do that. If we’re lazy or uncertain, and unhappy where we are, we can say it’s fate, but in reality it’s a choice we’re making. We aren’t puppets on a string, and there isn’t anyone pulling those strings to make us go one way or another. Everything we do is a choice we make. There are sometimes pressures on us to go a certain way and make certain decisions, but in the end we are the ones who choose. Nobody can really make us do anything. And so, if we feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled, we can choose to change our lives. We can choose to do it at any time. And if we’re unhappy the sooner we decide to change, the more content we’ll be.

Nobody knows how long we’ll be on earth in this amazing, precarious, unpredictable, and wonderful existence. We may live to be centenarians, or we may leave earlier. We need to make the most of every day we’re here and get the most out of our experiences. If we’re stuck in a situation that stunts us, keeps us from moving forward, or doesn’t make us happy, we can change it. We deserve to be happy and feel we’re taking advantage of every opportunity available to us. Routines are just patterns we can break. We don’t have to stay stuck. We can choose something new. We can try anything and we can make our dreams a reality. All we have to do is decide. Making the decision to change is often the hardest part of the process. Once we’ve decided, going forward where we want to go will be rewarding. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want it badly enough. We can conquer any obstacle, and we can accomplish whatever we set out to do. Getting stuck happens. Getting unstuck can happen too.

Today if you feel you’ve been stuck in a situation that isn’t rewarding or fulfilling and you want to change, you can. Decide what you want to do and where you want to go, and then open the door and begin. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Make your dreams come true. You have everything you need already. Take the first step. Turn the page. Happiness is there waiting for you.

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