Archive | Change RSS feed for this section

Easy Way Out

2 Feb

Life is complicated and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that aren’t working for us and we want to change. We’re in charge of our lives and can change anything we wish, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to make changes, especially when others are involved. For instance, if we’re in a relationship that isn’t working and we no longer want to continue. The best we can do is to be honest and upfront, and tell the other person how we feel and that we want to move on in another direction. But sometimes we may think that’s too difficult, so instead we dodge them, stand them up for dates we’ve made, or don’t answer their calls. If we do that, we figure eventually they’ll get the idea and we’ll have made our exit without the uncomfortable conversation. We might think that’s the easy way out, but really it’s just the coward’s way out, and we can all do better than that. In most situations when we need to make a definite change, there really is no easy way out. If we want to handle it well, we have to be courageous and honest enough to state our feelings clearly, and then move forward on a new road.

Nobody wants to hurt others. We don’t want to make people feel bad, and we never want to be the bad guy. But if we need a change, and if we aren’t honest about it we have only two other options. We can continue to pretend that everything is fine, which never works over time, or we can try to find an easy way out, which often hurts everyone more in the end. We all have sufficient courage to stand up for what is right, and be honest. If the situation has been going on for a long time it will be harder than if it’s been a brief interchange. But long or short, if it has to change, we need to be open enough to make that happen. If we clearly, and openly express our feelings and explain what we want going forward, the other person may be hurt, but they will respect our honesty. They may not like what we have to say, but they will understand our decision.

Many of us are resistant to change. When things stay the same we know what to expect and that makes us comfortable. But we deserve to be happy, and if we aren’t happy with the way our lives are going we can make whatever changes are needed to bring happiness to us. It may be uncomfortable to initiate the change, and feel awkward at first while we set up new patterns, and decide on a new course, but if the end result is personal happiness, it’s worth whatever it takes. Change is a normal part of life. We all experience it every day. Life is fluid and the only thing we can really count on is that whatever we’re going through today will change at some point. If we decide we need to, we can make that change come sooner rather than later. This life is a gift. We only get one chance to live each day. It’s not worth wasting a single moment in a situation that makes us unhappy. We are in control of our lives and we can design them any way we want to. We have all the courage we need to correct any situation we’re in.

Today if you’re unhappy with a situation in your life, you can change it. Be honest and open about how you feel and what you want going forward. Asking for what you want doesn’t make you the bad guy. You deserve every happiness. Your life is precious. Don’t waste another moment being unhappy. Change what needs to be changed, and you’ll find the peace and comfort you deserve.

Tags: , ,

Hold On

21 Jan

There are times in our lives when we have to make difficult decisions. Perhaps we need to change our course in one way or another, end a relationship, quit a job, or move to a new location. These decisions require a lot of thought and consideration because they impact our lives in big ways. Ending relationships that aren’t working for us can be very painful, even if we’re sure it’s the right decision. Quitting a job that doesn’t fit, or deciding to move to a new location requires a lot of change and can upset our lives for a time. When we’re going through the adjustments involved in making big changes, even if they are changes we want to make, we can feel unsettled and out of sync for a time. We may even feel like running back to the old situation because even though it wasn’t working, at least it’s familiar. But we can’t move forward and backward at the same time. If we really want the change we’ve decided to make, we must hold on when we feel unsure and keep walking ahead. Eventually we’ll find our place again, feel more secure, and have the opportunity to create a better situation going forward.

There is great comfort in doing things we’re familiar with. Routine feels normal, and even if we’re not happy, we know what to expect. When we decide to make a big change in our lives, we disrupt our regular routine and even though we know we want to move forward on a different path, we may miss the comfort of where we were. We may grieve for the sameness and yearn for the security it gave us. At those times there may be great temptation to go back. If it was a relationship that didn’t work, we may still miss the other person. Going back won’t change anything except we’ll be back where we were. If we weren’t happy before we left, we won’t be happy when we return. It’s normal to go through a grieving process when we’re making changes, and miss what we know. But it will pass and if we hold on and keep going forward to the future we want, we’ll find comfort again, and happiness will return.

Changing our lives often requires us to step into the unknown. We don’t know what we’ll find on our new road, we don’t really know where it will take us. We know what we want but there is no road map with an “X” marking the spot showing the destination. We have to figure things out one step at a time. We are capable of doing that and no matter where we’re headed or what we’re seeking, we can get there. Just because the road is new doesn’t mean we can’t successfully travel it. Taking things one step at a time, seeing everything as it is and directing our path carefully will ensure our success. There isn’t anything we can’t do. There isn’t any change that is too daunting for us. We can make our lives any way we want them. All we have to do is make our decision, hold on, and keep walking. The destination will come to us and we’ll be happy again.

Today if you’re making changes and you feel unsure, keep going. You know what you want and you can move forward with confidence and clarity. You can take any road you choose and get to your destination. You are capable and strong. You’ve made the right decision for you. Hold on and keep walking. You’re almost there.

Tags: , ,

Lottery

16 Jan

There are a lot of things we may wish for – to win the lottery, to be taller, more attractive, more successful, and dozens of others. We can buy a ticket and try to win the lottery but the odds are heavily stacked against us. We can go to bed at night and hope we’ll wake up taller, more attractive, richer, happier, and anything else we’re wishing for, but the odds of those things happening overnight are even worse. We can wish for anything we want, but wishes are just hopes and desires for things to happen. They have nothing to do with what is needed to actually make them a reality. If we really want something in our lives, the first thing we must do is determine if it’s possible to achieve. Unless we’re still growing, it’s unlikely we’ll get any taller. But most things are achievable. We can stop wishing and turn our wishes into goals. Then we can set up steps to achieve those goals and if we really want to, we can change our lives.

Sometimes we say we want to change something, but when it comes to doing what is needed to facilitate the change, we might decide it’s not worth it. Change always brings with it the need to adjust. The level of adjustment is often directly related to the level of change. If we change our hair color, the adjustment is relatively easy. If we move to another city, the adjustment is more difficult. But if we want change in our lives, we can make it happen. We have the power to change almost anything we’re currently experiencing. If we want to be thinner, we can change our eating habits and get more exercise. If we want to make more money, we can expand our education or look for better job opportunities. If we want to be happier, we can change the things in our lives that are preventing us from feeling better. We can become more successful, and we can be happier. We can move forward by objectively determining what is needed to make the desired change a reality. We are in control of our lives and can make them any way we want.

Sometimes there are things we can’t change right now and must work around. For instance, if we have a responsibility or a job we don’t like but haven’t yet been able to modify the situation or find something new. When that happens, we can be patient and understand our current situation, and work our lives around it so that we can be comfortable until it changes. Nothing is permanent in this life and whatever we’re going through today will eventually change. If we keep our focus looking forward and do our best to find joy even when we aren’t exactly where we want to be, we can navigate our time more easily. Every day is a gift and no matter what we’re doing there are opportunities for growth and happiness. Identifying those opportunities and making the most of them will help us gain as much as possible until we are able to move forward.

Today if you’re wishing your life was different, if you want something more, make a plan to achieve it. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Work around your current situation and prepare for the future you want. You can go anywhere you want to go taking one step at a time. Take the first step today. You’ll be there before you know it.

Tags: , ,

Resolutions

31 Dec

At the beginning of a new year, many people make resolutions. This generally involves a determined resolve to stop doing something, or start doing something, or change something in our lives or our behaviors. Sometimes we can be successful when we resolve to instantly change, but often we fail because when it comes to changing ourselves a hard line in the sand is rarely effective. We all have things we want to change from time to time but instead of making a resolution to immediately stop or begin something, it’s often more effective to set a goal rather than expect our decision to create an instantaneous transformation. Goals are positive things we can work toward and we can take action to adopt the desired change one step at a time. Then we can move forward in ways that are comfortable and incorporate change in our lives little by little until it is achieved.

The quickest way to feel overcome and defeated is to expect more from ourselves than we can reasonably deliver. If we want to lose weight, no matter how much it is, it’s not going to happen overnight. If we remember how long it took us to gain it, and then give ourselves at least that long – or longer – to lose it, we’ll have a more positive experience. Behavior traits we want to eliminate take time. It’s unlikely we’ll be able to eliminate them all at once. They are learned patterns we’ve developed and repeated over and over. We can certainly change them, and if we give ourselves the opportunity to do that one step at a time we’ll be successful. For instance, if we use swear words and want to eliminate them from our speech, we can. But odds are that because they are a customary part of our daily vernacular, they will pop out from time to time. If we decide to be aware when we say them, and then try again to eliminate them each time we slip, over time we’ll be successful.

Learning to be patient with ourselves as we try to change is imperative. Impatience will not help us get to the goal any more quickly. We can give ourselves space and time to learn the new patterns and adopt whatever change we are seeking. We can be our own best friends and show the patience and support a best friend would offer. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can accomplish any goal we set, we can change any behavior we choose, and we can go forward any way that’s best for us. Setting goals and then working toward them one step at a time will ensure success. Nothing can stop us if we keep our eyes on the prize. Being reasonable with our expectations, giving ourselves the time we need to correct our course, and exercising patience as we change will help.

Today if you’ve decided it’s time to make some changes set the first goal toward getting there. By taking it one step at a time you’ll reach every objective you seek. There is plenty of time to accomplish whatever you want to do, and get to wherever you want to go. Take the first step today, and each day forward take another one. Before you know it you’ll reach the target and be successful. You have everything you need to do this. Today is a good time to start.

Tags: , ,

When We’re Ready

23 Dec

When we’re hoping for a change in our lives and working to make it happen, it’s frustrating when it eludes us.  When we want something badly it’s hard to wait.  We can try and try to make something happen, but sometimes no matter what we do we remain stuck and nothing changes.  And so we continue to do the other things in our lives that take our attention.  We learn new things and have more experiences moving forward, and after some time passes what we are trying so hard to achieve arrives.  The thing about life is that so often things don’t come to us exactly when we want them, but when we’re ready for them, which isn’t always the same time.  If we’re impatient, waiting is difficult, especially if what we we’re hoping for is something we want very badly and feel we deserve.  But impatience can’t rush anything.  It only makes the wait harder to endure.  Therefore, trying to practice more patience can only help us as we go forward.  It seems counter intuitive that we must exercise patience to become more patient, but that’s how it is.  We can do everything we can to initiate a change, but until we’re ready for it, it probably won’t come.  The trick is to be ready.

Once we’ve identified something we want to change in our lives, if it’s far reaching and requires us to alter our lifestyle or routine, we first need to make that happen to facilitate the change we’re seeking.  If we want to become a doctor, we need to plan and prepare to go to medical school.  If we want to become more social, we need to plan to attend more functions where we can meet others.  We’ll never be ready for any change without the proper preparation.  It seems easy when we first start thinking about it – we’ll just do what’s required.  But when it comes time to implement the alterations, to attend school, to study, to actually go out to the events we need to, sometimes uncertainty creeps in.  An established routine, even one we aren’t happy with, has a degree of security and predictability that makes it comfortable.  We’re familiar with it, we know how it works, and we know what to expect.  When we shake that up, we might find that taking the first step is the hardest.  We don’t really know where it will take us or how we’ll react.  But if we are brave enough to start we often find we are certainly capable of continuing, and because the first step takes us closer to where we want to be, it will bring satisfaction.

The road to change isn’t always easy or quick.  Sometimes what we’re trying to do turns out to be more difficult than we first thought.  And sometimes after we start the new path and look ahead, we see it will take longer than we realized.  But if the goal is something we want, there isn’t anything that can stop us unless we quit.  If we decide it’s too hard or will take too long, we can certainly stop and return to our old patterns.  But if we do that, it means we aren’t ready for the change after all.  And the goal will not be realized until we are.  If we really want to do something, no matter what it is, we can do it.  We just need to keep taking one step forward.  We don’t have to do it in a hurry, and we can take it one day at a time.  There isn’t anything we can’t do.  We can prepare ourselves, and we can be ready.  And when we are, we’ll succeed.

Today if you’ve been wanting a change in your life but aren’t sure you can manage it, remember there is nothing you can’t do.  Every single step will take you closer to your goal, and you can succeed.  Think about where you want to be, and plan to move closer to it no matter what.  If you’re ready, nothing will stop you.  And you can be ready now.  Take the first step today.  Tomorrow take another.  Keep going forward and the goal will come to you.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →