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Making it Right

4 Jul

We make a lot of decisions in our lives. Sometimes we choose well, and other times we may struggle to find our way. We make a lot of choices and it seems obvious that choosing the right way will take us where we want to go and choosing the wrong way won’t. But life is complicated and there may be times when we convince ourselves that taking a wrong turn will take us to our destination. We can believe that going one way will eventually take us another. If we only focus on what we want and all we see is the prize, we may choose a path we believe will get us there quickly without seeing the whole picture. We can choose any road we want and do anything we like but a wrong choice, although it might be the quickest answer or the easiest, will never be the best decision. Nobody is immune from making mistakes but we have a better shot at getting things right if we take our time and choose carefully. If we rush, or if all we can see is the finish line we may take a wrong turn that in the end may cost us more than we imagined.

We understand how to get from point A to point B when we plan a trip. If it’s a road trip we plot the course that will get us there most effectively. If we want to travel north, we don’t choose roads that go east or west or south. We choose the roads that take us north to our appointed destination. But it can sometimes be difficult to use the same simple logic when making our personal decisions. There may be others involved, or complications we have to navigate around, and sometimes we only have a general idea of where we want to be. If we are desperate to reach a goal, we may take chances on paths that are undefined or unproven that cause us to fail. We are all capable of making excellent decisions but it takes determination and a clear understanding of our situation to ensure we get there.

It’s impossible to turn a bad decision into a good one. Making decisions are the most important things we do every day. They determine where we go and have influence over what happens next. If we blunder blindly through and carelessly choose this or that, trying to patch our way from one step to another, our lives will be convoluted and confusing. We create unnecessary drama when we don’t proactively choose our course. Bad decisions can be powerful deterrents. They can prevent us from moving forward, hold us down when we want to get up, and create congestion that prevents us from seeing clearly. If we take the time we need to see everything openly and determine exactly how we want to move forward, we can often prevent complications and enable success. We can do anything and we can do it well. If we are careful, we can make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go and bring us happiness.

Today if you’ve been stopped by a choice that took you to a dead end instead of a clear path, redirect your course. Think about the best way forward and begin again. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You know where you want to go and you know how to get there. Change your direction until you find the best way forward and then start walking. You’ll find the right road and every success.

Sand

28 Jun

If you’ve ever been to the beach and played in the sand for any length of time you know how insidious it can be. The shore is covered with sand and as we walk on it, play in it and swim around it we get it in our swimsuits, in our shorts, in our shoes, in our hair and everywhere else. But we’re having fun and although it can be annoying and gritty to deal with, it’s worth the trade-off. In our lives there are lots of people around us all the time. Though not as numerous as sand particles on the beach, there are many continually in and out of our lives. If we surround ourselves with good, strong people our associations may be beneficial and helpful. But if we continually interact with others whose choices aren’t positive, and who do things that bring problems and heartache to those around them, our time with them may hurt us. Like the sand that finds its way all over us and then begins to chafe, if we continually associate with those who hurt us we will be unhappy.

We build and create our relationships for lots of reasons. Sometimes they evolve because of association, sometimes they are part of our family, sometimes we build them because we like what they bring us, and sometimes we’re in them because there is history that cannot be undone. And sometimes our relationships change and become difficult to navigate. We don’t have to keep any relationship that makes us uncomfortable or that brings us hardship but it can be hard to stop a pattern if we’ve been involved for a long period of time. We might try to distance ourselves from a toxic situation but if we don’t sever the ties that hold us to it, that will do little to fix the problem. It’s like brushing sand off the outside of our bathing suit but doing nothing to wash out the grit that has made its way inside it. Things may look better on the outside, but the problem is still there. No matter who we’re involved with, and no matter what their relationship is to us if we are not happy, we can change it.

If we stay in relationships that hurt us and do nothing to change them, our unhappiness may increase. No matter what the situation is we always have the power to modify our circumstances so we can move forward comfortably and happily. If we’re dealing with someone who is rude and offensive, we can speak up and clearly state our boundaries. If we have a difficult family member we can set the example for patience and insist on being treated with respect. If we’re in a relationship that isn’t working and we want to move on we can do what is needed to make that happen. There isn’t anything we can’t manage and if we’ve got sand in our shoes, we can shake it out. If it’s in our hair, we can wash it out. And if it’s in our clothes, we can change them. Our lives belong to us and we can do whatever is needed to be happy and successful.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, be honest and do what is needed to change it. You deserve to be happy. Take charge and change your course. Shake out the sand and enjoy the beach. You have everything it takes to move forward.

The Two Step

21 Jun

Few things in life go as planned when we start out. Rarely do we go from one point to another in a perfectly straight line with no deviations. Even if we know exactly where we want to go and are confident we know how to get there, obstacles will often arise that impede our path. It’s like doing the two step. We go forward for a while and then have to step to the side. Or we have to step back for a time and wait. It can be frustrating as we deal with whatever detour or complication has presented itself and when we finally get things worked out again we’re eager to get back on track. It seems so easy when we’re making our plans. We just need to go forward and get to the goal. But life is complex and there are a lot of things happening all the time. While we’re making plans, so is everyone else. And there are many things outside our control. It’s true that we can accomplish almost anything we set out to do. But it’s also true that straight lines in this life rarely exist. That doesn’t mean we can’t get where we want to go but it does mean we may have to adjust again and again along the way.

When we’re impatient to achieve something and eager to move ahead, complications in our way are frustrating. In our desire to move forward we may simply shove our way through problems and try to keep going. However, rushing through any development often leads to further difficulties if we’ve neglected to resolve the issue before moving on. It’s hard to slow down and process every problem to find the best solution when we’re eager to move past it, but brushing them off with a cursory glance won’t allow us to resolve them and they may pop up again. If we stop and look at each development clearly, and take the time to completely resolve it we have a better chance of leaving it behind for good. Loose ends have a way of tangling our progress. If we tie them up and close them off, we can let them go and move on.

When we’re making plans to achieve anything it’s important to look at everything that may prevent us from success. Sometimes because we’re in a hurry or determined to get to the goal we may miss some important cues to watch out for. It’s rare that any plans we make won’t involve others in some way. It’s important to plan for how that involvement will work and how to navigate any complications it may cause. Just like taking a road trip we have to make sure the tires are in good shape, we have plenty of gas, our GPS is set or we have a map to get us through any detours, and we know exactly where we’re going to end up. There are always many things to consider when we choose a destination and there will always be unexpected surprises. Planning for them and expecting them will help us get to our goal. Straight lines are nice but learning to bend with the curves can be critical. We can do the two step and do it well. We can bend and turn and weave and dance, and still get to the goal.

Today if you’re trying to move forward but there is something blocking your way, stop and resolve it completely. Take the time to make sure all the loose ends are taken care of and then continue on. There isn’t anything you can’t manage. You know where you want to go and you have everything you need to get there.

Detours

8 Jun

When we have goals we want to achieve and we’re focusing on them we may make a lot of progress going forward.  Everything may move along as planned but then something happens that stops us.  Maybe it’s an unexpected change in plans or a decision we make that takes us off the road for a time.  For instance, if we’re trying to lose weight and we’re doing well and happy with our progress we may have a setback if someone bakes us a delicious chocolate cake.  If we love chocolate cake we may decide we’ll have only one small piece but it was so good we have another, and then another.  Or if we’re trying to manage our time more effectively and are having success with getting things done as planned but then there’s a movie marathon we don’t want to miss.  It completely ruins our schedule as we spend hours and hours enjoying all the films.  These are just detours and taking a detour off the road we’ve chosen doesn’t mean we’ve forsaken the journey.  It’s just a momentary pause.  We can choose anything we want any time we want and sometimes our choices take us from our long range goals.  There is nothing wrong with stepping off the path we’ve set, and if we want to find success we can step back on it again.

We can set our standards so rigidly that if we waiver from the course we’ve designed we may feel defeated and convinced we can’t succeed.  Of course that isn’t true.  We can do anything we want to do.  There is plenty of time to redirect our course and get back on the road we most want to travel.  Stepping off and taking a detour doesn’t end the journey.  The road is still there waiting for us to return.  If we really want to accomplish the task, and if we really want the change in our lives we can find our way back to it and begin again.  There is no hard line in the sand.  We can step off the path and step right back onto it again when we’re ready.

We face detours regularly in our lives.  Things come up that distract us, people and events capture our attention, and life happens.  It’s impossible to set a course and stay on it perfectly every moment of every day.  We can decide on our goals and make a plan and if things happen that confound it we can work around them.  There are few straight lines in life.  Most of the time we get from point to point by going a little here and a little there.  It doesn’t matter how we get there and unless there is some time constraint it doesn’t matter how long it takes.  The important thing is to decide what we want, and then move toward it.  There will be detours from time to time and we can manage them as they come.  We can take as long as we need to return to where we were and start again.  The journey can continue any time we’re ready.  There isn’t anything we can’t accomplish.  We can be confident that no matter what comes we will manage it.  We are capable of achieving anything we set our minds to.

Today if you’ve been derailed from a plan you’ve set for yourself you can get back on course again.  Decide how you want to go forward and start again.  You’ve come so far already.  Nothing will stop you from achieving your goals.  You have everything you need to succeed.  Step back on the path and start again.

Dodgeball

2 Jun

Playing dodgeball is fun and can be exciting and challenging. The game involves several balls being thrown by opposing teams. The idea is not to get hit by a ball thrown by an opponent. If we do get hit, we’re out. But if we’re quick and pay attention we can catch the balls that are being thrown at us and preserve our spot in the game. It’s a challenge to dodge the balls and be fast enough to catch them before they strike us out. Life can be like playing dodgeball. There are always things being thrown at us that can catch us off guard. Maybe someone wants us to do something we don’t really have time for, or we accumulate too much work as we move along and things need attention. If we get distracted by everything that’s happening, or become overworked, we can get hit with something that knocks us off our feet. But if we’re quick and paying attention, we can turn and face whatever is coming, catch it, and address it successfully. The constant needs of others or things we have to do can derail us if we get caught up in them. But we can manage and control our time and efforts. We can avoid getting hit and losing our place. It all depends on how we play the game.

Our lives are busy and there is always something that needs to be done. We have our personal needs, maintenance issues that crop up, work tasks, and relationship needs among a thousand other things. There’s a lot going on all the time. In addition to our regular responsibilities, others may ask us for more even when we’re overloaded. We can try to dodge the additional tasks but most of us want to be helpful and try to do all we can. If we get overwhelmed, we can get hit by a ball and knocked out of the game altogether. If we allow ourselves to commit to too much, we may become overwhelmed and overworked. When that happens we have to stop and take ourselves out of the game until we can regroup and start again.

Most of us want to be helpful and do as much as we can for others. The problem is there are always more “others” than there are “us.” We have limits on our time and energy and if we fail to control how much time we’re promising away or how much energy we’ve committed to giving, we will lose in the end. It’s up to us to manage our time and if we can’t take on more, we need to dodge the ball by saying no. We can’t catch all the balls all the time. Understanding our limitations and working within them makes us successful and confident. Nobody can do everything. Only we know where our limits are. Recognizing them and doing our best to navigate them will make us successful and confident.

Today try to recognize where your limits are and work within them. You do a lot but you don’t have to do everything. Catch the balls you can and do your best. Let the rest go. You know what’s best for you. Do that and you’ll be confident and successful. You have so much to give. Be wise and manage your time. You’ll be happier and more successful when you do.