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Giving In

27 Oct

Most of us like to be helpful. We try to be available when others need us or we offer assistance when we see someone struggling. We want to be there for our friends and family and be supportive. But there may be some who take advantage of us and create situations where we feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s because they lack personal boundaries and there are no limits to what they will ask. If they lie to us to get to their objective, we may get tangled up in situations that are difficult and confusing. If they are close friends, family, or loved ones, and this becomes a pattern we may get hurt. If we believe in promises that never become reality and continue to trust them to follow through despite what we’ve experienced, we may find ourselves unsettled and miserable when we deal with them. It can be hard to say no to someone close to us even if we know we may get hurt. There is an old saying that “Hope springs eternal,” and in our personal relationships that is often true. Even if someone has disappointed us many times we may hope the next time will be different. We may trust them to change even if there is no evidence a change is coming.

We are entitled to be happy. We deserve the best life we can create for ourselves. We can understand and clearly define our personal boundaries and when someone steps over them, we can back up. Being in control of our lives and decisions is our responsibility. If someone close to us continually abuses our trust, manipulates us to get what they want, or doesn’t follow through on their promises, we may step back and disengage from them. We don’t have to end our relationship but we can define what we will not do and hold fast to our decision. It’s impossible to change anyone but ourselves. We can’t make others follow through, and we can’t make them honest. But we can control what we do at every turn. If we are asked to do something that makes us uncomfortable we can say no.  If we are promised something we are sure will not happen, we can refuse to believe it. We can stay in our relationships and still honor our boundaries so we are happy.

Some people define love as doing everything others want. They try to make everyone happy and are uncomfortable expressing anything different from those around them. But we are all unique and it’s impossible to make everyone else happy. The world is a big place and there isn’t anyone else exactly like us. We don’t always have to agree or act a certain way to be loved. We deserve love just because we’re here. We can define what works for us and we can say no when we need to. If we are clear about our decisions those around us will know our true selves and respect us for our honesty. We never have to go along or give in if we don’t want to. We can be kind and patient, loving and supportive, and still say no.

Today if you’ve been going along in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, you may say no. You offer so much to the world and we are all blessed because you’re here. You can do what is best for you. You’re in control of your life and you can choose how you live it. Make your best decisions today and happiness will follow.

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In the Web

17 Oct

Spider webs are interesting.  They can be very intricate and quite large, and the detail of each is amazing and often quite beautiful.  Despite their beauty, spider webs are built as a snare to catch prey.  They are sticky and when the intended creature gets too close they are caught up and entangled, unable to escape.  Each individual strand is very strong and they are efficient traps for insects and other morsels the spider wishes to catch.  Although we don’t spin the same sorts of webs as spiders do, it’s possible to get caught up in a different kind of web.  If we are involved with people who lie, or cheat, or manipulate, or are dishonest they may entangle us in a web of deceit that is strong and may hold us tightly in place.  If we’re closely involved with someone who is dishonest and can’t see the entire picture, we may become ensnared.  It’s good to have close relationships but it’s important to be able to step back from time to time to see the whole story.  Confusion is often an important clue.  If we feel confused about a situation it can be a clue that we need to step back and see the bigger picture.  Deceit can be very painful to face but finding truth is imperative in everything we do.  If we get caught in a web, truth will show us the way out.

Living dishonestly can take many interpretations.  Maybe we don’t tell the entire truth when telling only part of it benefits us.  Maybe we don’t do everything we say we’ll do because it’s difficult and time consuming.  Maybe we pretend to be something we aren’t so we can look different to someone we want to impress.  Whatever means of dishonesty we employ may get us by for a time but eventually the truth will rise and we will be held accountable.  It may seem that sometimes a little dishonesty won’t hurt anything and will make things easier.  Unfortunately, however, once the lie is uncovered our lives will be more complicated and may be more difficult as we try to untangle things.  Like a large, complex web that is sticky and thick, dishonesty will eventually trip us up and we’ll have to tear it down to get back to the truth.

Living an honest and clean life takes effort.  Although we may see the road we should take, choosing it may be difficult and require courage.  We are certainly capable of making good choices and being truthful in all things.  When we are honest the road may be a little harder than if we’d lied, and it may take a little longer than if we’d cheated, but in the end choosing well will bring a victory clear of deception and filled with content.  We can always choose the right and find our way.  We deserve the best life possible.  Choosing to live honestly in all our dealings will bring us happiness.  We can offer our best to the world and make all our dreams come true, honestly and ethically.

Today if you have choices to make and you’re thinking about cutting corners or being dishonest to make them easier, think again.  Choose the best way forward and be honest about everything you do.  Be the very best you can be and make your best decisions today. You have greatness in you and the world needs your example.  Be the light and show us the way.

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Peter Pan

7 Oct

As we grow and go through our lives we learn new things and develop new behaviors.  As we get older if we want to succeed we must mature and take on the attributes of fully capable adults.  We must learn how to reason and make adult decisions, and exercise self-control to help us manage all kinds of different situations.  If we neglect to mature we may find ourselves stuck in situations that hold us in place and bring us hardship.  Like Peter Pan if we refuse to grow up we will be unable to move forward.  If we can’t commit to relationships, or can’t perform in a steady work environment, or can’t behave rationally when things go wrong, we’ll get stuck.  Childish behavior is appropriate for children but will generally impede our progress as adults.  People with childish tendencies may be difficult to work with and if we’re involved with them may complicate our lives.  If we don’t have these characteristics it’s probable we’ll meet someone during our lives who does.  And if we must work with them or have a relationship with them it may be turbulent and difficult to navigate.  If we fall in love with them we will probably be disappointed and hurt.

When children don’t get their way, they may stamp their feet and march off in disgust.  They may refuse to talk, or voice their dissatisfaction by screaming and yelling.  Because they don’t have adult understanding, when they are furious they may display that fury in a number of difficult ways.  As adults, when things go wrong we may certainly do all the things we did as children to express our unhappiness but those behaviors won’t allow communication and resolution.  Even if the answers seem obvious to other adults, if we’re stuck in a childish pattern we may not see them.  But we certainly have the ability to change and we can learn how to effectively manage conflict and disappointment.  We can learn how to be capable adults and manage our problems and challenges well.  Learning to be fully functioning adults will help us move forward more easily and open doors to success.

Becoming a true adult doesn’t mean we have to let go of childlike wonder or the pure joy of life.  We can still enjoy fun activities and need not restrict our ability to try new things.  But acting like an emotional child when we’re fully grown will only impede our progress and complicate our lives.  Being a true adult helps us change when we need to and embrace growth as we move forward.  We have all the courage we need to allow ourselves to grow and are capable of becoming truly functioning adults.  We can recognize what we need to change and do what we must to facilitate the growth we are seeking.  There isn’t anything too difficult for us to understand and we can succeed.

Today if you see behaviors in your personality you want to improve to become more successful you can begin to change them.  You know what’s important and you can change anything in order to succeed. You have all the courage and understanding you need to become the person you most want to be.  Be the best you can be and all the doors ahead will open for you.

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The Best Gift

3 Oct

For many of us, our lives are filled with activity.  There are things we must accomplish, things we want to do and constant responsibilities that take our time.  Many of us stay busy and sometimes our personal needs fall to the end of the list.  We can be so consumed with the needs of others and pending projects we can forget to take care of ourselves.  It’s good to be actively engaged and productive but the quality of our lives may be affected if we don’t remember our needs are important too.  And the quality of our lives is a gift we give to ourselves.  Although others may do things for us that help, in the end how we take care of our personal needs is up to us.  We have control over how we manage our time and we can give ourselves the best care and consideration even when we’re busy.  We can put ourselves first before anything else.  We can set time aside to do something we enjoy that will bring us respite and refreshment.  And we can make the quality of our lives a priority.  If we take care of our needs first we will have more energy and be happier.  We’ll feel more at peace if we’ve taken the time we need before we give the rest away.  The quality of our lives is the best gift we can give ourselves, and it is always in our power.

Nobody knows exactly how our days go but us.  We interact with others who ask for our time unaware of any personal parameters.  Sometimes we can choose to help or not and other times because of the situation we may be expected to agree.  If there is something we want to be involved in the time spent may be rewarding.  But even with the reward if we expend all our energies outward there will be nothing left for us.  It’s possible to give too much.  Every well will go dry if the water isn’t replenished.  If we believe we don’t deserve personal time we may neglect it and after a while that neglect may affect our demeanor and comfort.  We may find situations that used to make us feel satisfied are no longer enjoyable.  We may feel no accomplishment when we complete a task because there are other tasks waiting for our attention.  Constantly doing for others will take its toll and we may feel used up and exhausted, unhappy with our lives and unsettled.

If we want to be happy we must make taking care of ourselves a priority.  If we are pro-active in planning for the things that mean the most to us – getting to the gym, taking a walk, time for reading, just time out – we’ll feel more relaxed and at peace as we attend to all our responsibilities.  Taking care of ourselves is the most important task we have.  If we are tired, unwell, stressed and over worked, we will be less successful in our projects.  Remembering the quality of our lives is important and doing what is needed to honor that will make that quality high.  We deserve the very best we have to offer and we can give it to ourselves.

Today if you’ve got a lot to accomplish remember to take time out for yourself.  You are the most important thing you need to take care of today.  Give yourself the best gift you can by taking care of your needs first.  You’ll feel calmer and happier and everything else will be easier.

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Pretty Packages

29 Sep

There is something alluring and exciting about a stack of beautifully wrapped packages waiting to be opened. Whatever the occasion, pretty wrapping paper, graceful bows and shiny boxes are captivating and draw us in with all the possibilities. Although we don’t know what’s inside, just looking at them can bring us excitement and wonder. What’s underneath may be the prize but the packaging is what pulls us close. The bright colors tantalize us, the shimmer enchants us and we may feel almost mesmerized by the sight. Wrapping things up in pretty packages is very effective. It’s a tool sometimes used in our everyday lives to captivate us and get our attention. If there is something we don’t want to face, or something someone wants to sell us, dressing it up in lovely illusion may bring us close. And the closer we get the harder it may be to see things objectively. If we get caught up in the beauty and fail to see what lies at the heart of the matter, we may get lost. Shiny boxes and beautiful paper may capture our attention, but what lies inside is what’s important. It may be something wonderful or something entirely different. Turning our focus away from the sheen and luster, and really seeing things as they are will help us find what’s real.

Personal beauty is a powerful force. If we see someone who is physically very attractive we may feel strongly drawn to them. Even before they say a word we may want to be close to them. The way they smile is enchanting, the way they move is hypnotic and we may feel unable to look away. But outward appearance tells nothing about who is inside. Are they honest, kind, loving, sensitive, and sincere? We may believe they are wonderful without any evidence simply because they are so appealing on the outside. But the wrapping only covers what lies beneath. Although the attraction may be great we must discover what is real before we can proceed with confidence. Sometimes outward beauty is all there is. Discovering the truth before traveling too far down the road will help us move forward more effectively.

Lies are an effective, if dishonest, way of dressing up distasteful or unpleasant situations. We can make things seem prettier by saying they are different than they really are. We can embellish the truth to make a situation more beautiful and more attractive, and we can use distraction to help get our message through. All lies are eventually uncovered and just like unwrapping a beautiful package and finding something unappealing or offensive inside, we will find the truth in every situation. If we can be perceptive enough to remember pretty words and shiny paper mean nothing and wise enough to see through the shimmer, we will find the truth more easily. We don’t need pretty packages to face our lives. We are capable of understanding and accepting things as they are and smart enough to find the truth.

Today if you’ve been fooled by something alluring and attractive, and now see things are different than you thought, accept the complete truth. You know what’s real and are strong enough to face it. You can understand everything. Move forward with confidence knowing the whole story and you’ll find great success.

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