Archive | March, 2016

Tadpoles

25 Mar

Tadpoles are interesting creatures.  They are generally water creatures, and have gills, no legs, and a tail.  But their form is transitional.  Their quest is to become frogs – an entirely different creature that looks and lives completely differently.  As tadpoles mature, their gills are replaced by lungs so they can breathe air, their tails disappear, and they grow legs.  Their mouths change and become very wide, and their diet changes as well.  The metamorphosis from one creature to the other is dramatic and amazing.  The change is extreme and occurs naturally without intervention.  We aren’t tadpoles but we change as we grow as well.  We aren’t going to grow another set of legs, but the metamorphosis we go through as we change into our unique and genuine selves can be dramatic.  But our changes don’t always happen without intervention.  Life gives us challenges and trials, and as we navigate each one we change a little.  Our changes may not be dramatic, although they can be.  Change is a constant in our lives, and if we are wise the changes we go through will take us to who we really want to be.

When we stretch our abilities and push ourselves to move forward, we may feel discomfort.  It’s like deciding to start running to get into shape.  There are lots of benefits to getting more physical exercise, but getting to those benefits means we have to go through a transition.  At first we may struggle to get through the run.  The next day we may feel pain because we’re doing something new.  It may be difficult to manage, but if we stick to it and continue day after day, we’ll become stronger and gain the benefits we are seeking.  Change isn’t always easy.  At first turning another way may feel foreign and uncomfortable, but as we practice we’ll find our rhythm and the behaviors we want will become routine.  But it doesn’t happen overnight.  The tadpole needs time to change into a frog, and we need to time to change as well.

Like most situations in our lives, the big changes generally take longer to adjust to than the smaller ones.  If we want to change our route to work it will take little effort, but if we want to stop smoking it will be much harder.  No matter what it takes, if we want to change anything, we can.  Our lives are not carved in stone and we aren’t pre-determined to do anything.  We can change anything we like.  There may be pressure from those around us to keep things the same because it’s comfortable and rocking the boat can unbalance things.  But if we want to we can push forward and once on the other side, our balance will return.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and we don’t have to live a life we don’t want.  We are in control and can choose any path going forward.

Today if you’ve been thinking about a change you really want to make, take a step toward it.  You know where you want to go and how you want to get there.  The first step will open the door to the destination.  You can do anything.  You can decide how your life will go.  Begin today moving toward where you want to be.  You’re only steps away.

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The Other Eleven

24 Mar

When we’ve set a goal for ourselves and we’re moving forward, sometimes along the way we have a setback. Maybe we lose our focus for a moment and go the wrong way, or go backward, or even stop altogether. No journey is without occasional bumps and detours and we expect them when we travel. When they happen we take them in stride, and just keep going. But when it’s a personal situation, when we’re trying to change something about ourselves or do something we want badly and we go sideways, we can feel frustrated. We might even convince ourselves we can’t succeed and think about quitting. If we take an egg from the carton and accidentally drop it, we don’t ever think of smashing the other eleven because one got broken. We just clean up the mess and continue on. When we lose our footing as we try to achieve something, we break the diet, forget the gym, or sleep in instead of working on the project, it’s like breaking one egg. We aren’t ruined. We haven’t failed. It’s just a slight detour. All is not lost. We can get back on the road and pointed in the right direction again. We are still capable of succeeding and we can keep going.

Detours happen for a lot of reasons. Sometimes we get tired of trying so hard. Sometimes we get distracted. And sometimes we forget our focus. Life is busy and complicated. No matter what we’re trying to accomplish, odds are it isn’t the only thing we have to do. We’re busy and our goals are just one of the things we’re involved with. But when they are important to us and we really want to accomplish them, they have to take precedence whenever possible. It isn’t always easy to juggle everything in our lives, and change is hard for most of us. But despite the detours that occur, no matter what the cause, if we’re determined to succeed we can re-align our path and begin to move forward again. There isn’t anything that will stop us from achieving our goals if we want them badly enough.

When we falter we can be stalled by self criticism and doubt. We might believe that because we haven’t achieved the goal yet, and we’ve gotten off the path again, we don’t have what we need to be successful. But that isn’t true. It doesn’t matter how many times we get sidelined. What matters is that we start again. And again. And again. We can’t go forward if we stop. We can’t achieve anything if we quit trying. If we drop one egg, we don’t have to smash the other eleven. No matter what has happened or how long it’s taken, we can still succeed. The only thing that will stop us is if we stop ourselves. There isn’t anything we can’t accomplish if we just keep pushing forward. Just one step more and we’ll be on the road again. We have everything we need to get to the goal. Nothing is strong enough to stop us.

Today if you’re feeling defeated because you’ve been side tracked and haven’t moved forward the way you wanted to, you can correct your course. Refine your focus and begin again. There isn’t anything you can’t accomplish. You have everything you need to succeed. You know what you want. Don’t let anything stop you from getting it. You deserve every blessing, and they will all be yours if you keep moving forward.

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No End

23 Mar

There are times in all of our lives when something terrible happens and we don’t think we can survive it. It may be the sudden death of a loved one, a crushing professional disappointment, the betrayal of someone close, or other things that are extremely hard to face. Nobody has a blissful, perfect life all the time. Things go wrong and sometimes they go very wrong. When we’re in the throes of these experiences we may feel so overwhelmed we can’t see the end. We can’t imagine how to navigate the situation and we may feel sure it will overcome us. But then a day goes by and we are still here. And then another day goes by, and then another. And as time passes and we find our way through each moment, we get a little stronger, and a little braver. There isn’t anything we can’t face. Even if we are convinced we can’t face it, we can. We are far more resilient than we believe we are, and as strong as we need to be. We don’t have to see the end at the beginning. All we need to do is get through today. We might have to take it one breath at a time, but we will take it, and we will manage. Each moment that passes moves us along a little bit. And bit by bit we will overcome.

There may be times when our decisions bring the walls crashing down around us and if that’s the case, we can accept our role in the disaster. We can learn from it and take all the lessons forward with us. We learn by doing and sometimes that means making mistakes. Even if they hurt deeply, mistakes teach us important lessons. We know more after than we knew before. It’s impossible to go through life without doing some things wrong. This life is all about learning, and even when it hurts, it’s important. We don’t know everything and even if we try to do everything right we’re going to stumble from time to time. We can take ownership of our actions, look at the situation clearly, learn all we can, do what is needed to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road is long and there is time to correct our course.

If we’ve suffered a terrible blow because of decisions made by others, we may be devastated. Serious hurt takes time to heal. We have to take it as it comes but eventually it will ease and we’ll move forward. We may carry a scar with us, but a scar is just a reminder of where we’ve been, and not an indicator of where we’re going. Day by day, step by step we’ll find happiness again. There are a lot of ups and downs in life. The hard times hurt but they give us a deeper appreciation for the times when things go well. Joy is the absence of sorrow, but to feel true joy, we have to feel true sorrow. Painful days hurt but they carry blessings with them. As we navigate them, those blessings will become part of who we are.  Each blessing takes us closer to the person we most want to be.

Today if you’re going through a difficult time and feel overwhelmed, hang on. You really do have everything you need to succeed. There is nothing too difficult for you. Take it one step at a time. You have so much going for you. You can manage anything. Happiness is just outside the door. Open it. It’s waiting for you.

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Being There

22 Mar

The world is a big place and there are billions of people inhabiting it. Whether we live in huge cities or small towns, in the country or suburbia, we are all here together. Everything we do, every decision we make affects our lives in some ways, and may also have an impact on others around us. We can try to isolate ourselves if we want to be alone, but it’s not always easy unless we lock ourselves up at home and don’t venture out. No matter what we do, we’re connected to those around us. We pass them, see them, engage with them, and make an impression about who we are. Although it’s good to be independent, we all need each other and depend on each other in countless ways. The level of that reliance depends on our relationship. Every relationship has an unspoken understanding that we’ll be available at some level. If we are strangers passing on the street that involvement will be minimal. If we are friends it increases. When we love each other that reliance will be great. We need to be available to those who love us – both emotionally and physically. We need to answer when they call, and respond when they need us. It’s an integral part of our relationship and if we neglect it, the trust we share will diminish and over time we may lose everything. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship if one party isn’t available. If we want to be close to anyone, we have to be there for them.

We always do what we want to do most. That’s a truth we all share. We can say we couldn’t make a commitment because we got busy, or we didn’t make an appointment because our schedules got out of control, or we had a conflict, or anything else. While all our excuses may be true, the fact is we decide how we spend our time. The reasons we give for not showing or being available won’t always repair what has been lost. The simple truth is if something is really important to us, we’ll be there for it. If it’s not important, any excuse will do. When we have a relationship of any sort, if we want to keep it, we have to commit to it. And that means we have to be there and available.

When we make commitments and then don’t show, we are often valuing other things as more important. Sometimes we really do want to do something but our lives won’t allow it at this time. We all have real complications and sometimes things don’t work out. If that’s the case we need to re-evaluate the commitments we’re making. However, often when we don’t follow through it’s not because it’s impossible, but that we’ve chosen to do other things instead. We all get to choose how we spend our time. We are in control of our lives and can live them any way we like. We always do what we want to do most. Every person in our lives knows this and our actions clearly communicate it. If we really want successful relationships, they must be valued and protected. We can do that by being available and making them a priority.

Today if you haven’t been available to those who care about you or depend on you, remember your relationships are valuable and worth your time. It’s good to build strong bonds with those around you and you can do that by being there for them. You are very important, and so are they. Show them you care by showing up and being there. They will draw closer to you and your connection will deepen. We all need each other and we need you. Be there. The closeness you’ll develop will be well worth it.

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Back and Forth

21 Mar

When we’re trying to accomplish something in our lives, if we want to find success, we have to move forward. We need to look at the situation objectively, weigh our options, and determine the path that will take us where we want to go. But life is full of distractions. There is a lot going on all the time. Other people in our lives have their own goals and interests, and although they may want to support ours, their focus is getting their own accomplishments completed. We can be side tracked when they get involved with us in ways that take our eyes off the road we want to travel. It’s like leaning a ladder up against a building in order to get to the roof, but only stepping on and off the first rung. We go forth and take the first step up, but then something happens and we step back down again to take care of it. Maybe we want to help someone else get something done, or hear something we want to clarify, or remember something we forgot. Back and forth we go, all the while staying busy but going nowhere. We can convince ourselves that because we are moving we are going forward but that isn’t always true. As long we let other things keep us from our goal, we’ll never get past the first rung.

There are a lot of reasons we lose our focus. Sometimes it’s because we aren’t sure we can accomplish the goal we’ve set. We want to, but may feel timid or afraid it might be too hard. We might make plans to go forward and even begin, but because we aren’t really sure we will succeed, are easily distracted and pulled away. We are naturally drawn to situations that make us feel comfortable. If the goal we want is stretching our abilities and we aren’t sure we can move forward, the discomfort of the unknown may move us toward something else. But we can be confident in any decision we make. We are certainly capable of doing anything we really want to do. We can be convinced we will succeed, and when we are, we will move forward. We can take the first step, and then the next, and the next, until we reach our goal.

They say timing is everything, and in a lot of situations that’s true. Sometimes we get stuck going back and forth and not moving forward because our lives aren’t in a place where we’re able to make the changes necessary. If we’re trying to change too much and it’s causing turmoil we can re-think our plan. We can look at the situation again, and determine if we need to wait. If we do, we can decide when we’ll try again, and set the goal aside for now. It doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It means we’re re-tooling to begin again later. We don’t have to accomplish everything today. There is time to get there, and when we’re ready and can successfully move forward, we will. There is no goal beyond our reach. With the proper planning and determination, we can accomplish anything.

Today if you’re frustrated because you haven’t moved forward with a goal you’re trying to achieve, take a look at all the parameters. Is this the best time to move forward? If it is, focus your eyes on the destination and do what is needed to get there. If you need to wait, think about when you can re-visit your plans and start again. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are more capable than you realize. You can conquer anything. Make a plan that will work and take a step forward. The goal is within your reach. You will achieve it.

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