Archive | December, 2015

Knock Knock

4 Dec

There are a lot of things to learn and do in this life.  As we accomplish one, we’re ready to move on to the next.  Sometimes we take classes, sometimes we travel, sometimes we read, and sometimes we rely on others to teach us something new.  As we interact with all the people who come in and out of our lives, everyone knows something they can share with us.  When we meet those with the skills we’re looking for, it’s an opportunity to ask questions, and seek information.  But sometimes out of uncertainty, or because we aren’t sure how it will be received, we fail to engage the other person on the subject to discover what they can share.  Opportunity may come knocking, but if we don’t open the door our chance may be lost.

We don’t want to impose on others or their time, and sometimes even when we really want to talk about something, we aren’t confident asking.  Most people are happy to share what they know, and if they can’t do it when we ask, they are often willing to meet with us later.  It’s up to us to open the door and begin the conversation even when we don’t know what will come of it.  They might not be interested in sharing, or they may take a lot of time guiding us, and showing us what we want to know.  But we’ll never find out unless we forge ahead and ask.  We must be confident enough to take the first step.  They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and that’s true.  If we never put our foot forward, we’ll never get where we want to go.

Opportunities may come to us in unexpected ways, and in unexpected places.  We may have a passing conversation with someone who mentions something we’re interested in.  If we ask about it, even if they aren’t the ones to guide us, they may know someone who can share with us.  Or we might see someone doing something that relates to what we want to learn, and we can approach them for information.  For instance, if we’re interested in learning how to paint landscapes and we see someone taking photographs of them, we might strike up a conversation and ask if they know anyone who paints them.  It’s surprising how many contacts we already have and often referrals we need may come just by speaking up.  We can do anything we want to do, and if we pay attention, we can find someone to teach us how.

Today if you’ve wanted to learn something but haven’t done anything to move forward, start the conversation.  Talk to your friends and associates and share your ideas.  Be confident asking if they know about the topic or can refer you to someone who does.  You may be surprised at how helpful others are, and you may find exactly what you’re looking for.  Take the first step on the journey today.  Before you know it you’ll be well on the road to learning exactly what you want, and your life will be fuller and richer because you reached out.

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Falling Up

3 Dec

When we’re busy and in a rush and focused on a goal, if we go too fast we can miss a step, and see nothing but the road ahead. We may ignore those around us, and even push them out of the way.  Maybe in an effort to get our point across in a hurry we interrupt conversations, or leave a situation too quickly. It might work for a while but eventually our negligence may catch up with us. In our rush to get done, or to finish first, we might fall down. There is nothing wrong with trying to accomplish things, or trying to move up in our lives. But if all we see is the destination and fail to notice what’s going on around us, if we don’t see the journey in our rush to get to the end, we’ll miss a lot. We might get done first, and we might beat the clock, but the damage we leave behind may hurt us in the end. Getting to the goal is only one aspect of where we need to concentrate. It’s important to get to the destination effectively, to pay attention, and not leave a trail of destruction behind us.

Nobody knows everything or can foresee the future. When we’re pushing forward, the person blocking our path may be the very one who has the answers we’re looking for. They may know exactly what we need to do and where we should put our best efforts. If we push them aside and rush past, if we don’t listen when they talk to us because we’re sure we already know what to do, the opportunity for their advice will be lost. We don’t really know where our paths will lead us or where we’ll be tomorrow or next week or next year. The very person who could advise us today, may be our leader, or co-worker, or benefactor tomorrow. If we haven’t taken time to notice them, or listen when they speak to us, and if we haven’t heard their advice, it may damage our relationship in the future. It’s hard for people to trust those who dismiss them. We all have something of value to offer. If we diminish advice when it’s offered, or ignore it completely, we may not get a second chance to benefit from it.

When we want to succeed, and really want to shine, we can try to do it alone, or we can include others in our efforts. If we’re overconfident, and determined to get it done by ourselves, we miss the chance to learn from others. There is more experience and knowledge out there than we’ll ever have by ourselves. It’s in our best interest to reach for it, and then patiently listen when it’s being offered. Most people are happy to share what they’ve learned. Since we only have our lives, and can only rely on our personal experiences, it’s wise to listen when others are willing to share theirs with us. They will be different than ours, and may contain the one piece of advice we need to succeed. If we stop rushing for a moment, and listen, we may be surprised by what we’ll learn. Then instead of falling down when we make a wrong turn, we can fall up as we go the right way. Up or down it’s our decision.

Today if you’ve been doing things your way, by yourself, perhaps take a moment to share your focus with someone else and let them share their experiences with you. Ask for advice. You may learn something that will get you to your goal more quickly and efficiently. Asking doesn’t mean you can’t do it on your own. It means you’re willing to learn. And learning new things is always a good idea. Be open. You have a lot of answers already. Today if you include someone else, you’ll get even more.

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Making Bread

2 Dec

I have a friend who is a baker.  He makes all kinds of artisan breads and works very hard at creating new recipes that are delicious and incredible.  While visiting him recently I watched as he worked.  He made the dough and then scraped it onto his table where he proceeded to knead and work it.  At one point he picked the huge ball of dough up and slammed it against the table.  I asked him about that and he said it helped to develop the dough, making it more elastic and giving it a wonderful texture.  Later when we tasted the bread, it was amazing.  And he was right, the texture was wonderful and I have never tasted anything more perfect.  I have been thinking about that ever since.  There is a parallel to our lives in this.  We go through our days and things go right and sometimes they go wrong.  It seems our struggles knead us into something better, and there are definitely times when we feel we’re being slammed against a table!  But if we endure, and learn from our experiences, we too, just like my friend’s bread, will have an amazing texture to our lives, and become deep and well developed.

Nobody likes to go through hard times.  Nobody likes to suffer, and nobody wants bad things to come to them.  But we don’t live in Nirvana.  We live on earth and in a human existence.  We interact with others who have free will and can, and sometimes do, make decisions that impact us negatively.  We get hurt, and we struggle, but through the struggle comes strength, and knowledge, and if we’re patient, eventually wisdom.  It would be great if we could learn everything we needed to know, and grow into incredible people without suffering, but that isn’t the case.  It seems we need a refining fire to burn off our superficial pettiness, and our selfish desires.  Silversmiths work with ore putting it in a hot furnace again and again.  When asked how they know all the dross has been burned off and the silver is pure, they say they know it’s ready when they see their reflection in it.  There is nothing left to diminish the shine.  It’s the same with us.  We struggle, we feel pain and loss, and as we do small bits of what we don’t need fall away, and in the end because of what it takes to get through, we are purer than when we started.

It’s nice to dream of a perfect world where everyone loves everyone else, where we’re all respected and cared for, and where there are no tears of sadness, sorrow or loneliness.  But if we lived in such a state, if we were in paradise all the time, we would never have the opportunity to grow.  We would never really know joy because we would never know sorrow.  Joy is the absence of sorrow.  We have to experience one to understand the other.  And so, although it’s nice to think about a world where nothing goes wrong, it’s better to live in one where it does.  It’s hard to remember that when we’ve been hurt, betrayed, lied to, offended, or injured.  It’s hard to think anything good could come from our suffering, but greatness comes to us when we persevere and hold fast to what is right, even in times of trial.  Wisdom comes from experience – and the difficult experiences teach us far more than the easy ones.

Today if you feel beset by trials, if you’re suffering and feeling bad, remember you are in the refiner’s fire.  You are learning more about life and about yourself.  It might get hot and you may feel very uncomfortable for a time but it’ll never get too hot for you to handle.  You are becoming great.  You are becoming your best self.  Hang on and learn all you can.  You’re getting stronger and closer to who you really want to be.

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Finding It

1 Dec

Every day we spend our time doing things that are important to us. What those things are depend on who we are, what we want, how we feel, and dozens of other parameters. But no matter what’s going on, if there is something we want to do, even if we haven’t planned for it, we generally find a way to get to it. It’s often a true axiom that we do what we want to do most. For instance, if we have responsibilities we need to take care of but would rather try out a new restaurant, we might let something go to make that happen. It’s a question of motivation and direction. We may tell ourselves we really need to get something done, and we might even plan for it, but if we don’t want to do it, we may justify putting it off. In the end, whatever we’re looking for, we’ll find. If we’re looking for a way to make something happen, we’ll get it done. If we’re looking the other way, it won’t happen.

There is sometimes pressure from others to do things a certain way and in a certain order, but if we aren’t convinced that’s for us, we won’t make it a priority. However, we might agree to do it their way just to make them happy, and get them to drop the subject.  We can do anything we want to with our time. We are the ones in the end who make the decisions about our lives. And so, it’s important to decide what we really want to do. Do we really want to visit that friend we’ve been promising to see for months but never make it? Do we really want to go to that sci-fi movie because our best friend loves it and we hate it? We need to be completely honest with ourselves and with those around us. If we aren’t going to do what they ask, we may politely decline. If we aren’t going to show, no matter what the argument is, it’s best to say so.

We all want to be nice and helpful. We want to be agreeable and get along with others. Having our own opinions and making our own decisions does not diminish that. We can be completely honest and we can say no. When we’re honest and upfront we may face the disappointment of others when we decline their request, but they will respect us for telling the truth. When things must be accomplished, we should make a defined plan to get them done so we can let them go. Leaving them hanging in limbo will never bring us satisfaction or peace. They’ll niggle at us continually until we complete them.  But when we’ve completed the task we can move on to the things we most want to do. We are capable of organizing our lives and our activities in the best possible way so we can be comfortable and happy going forward.

Today if you’ve been looking for ways to dodge something you need to do, make a plan to get it done and then complete it. You’ll be happy when the chore is over and you can move ahead with something fun. Be proactive and organize your tasks so you feel content and capable. You can do anything you want to do. Today look for the best way, and you’ll surely find it.

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