Archive | October, 2015

Making Room

10 Oct

I once read a story about a man whose wife gave him a new winter coat every Christmas.  It wasn’t that she couldn’t think of anything else to give him or that he wanted a new coat every year.  It was because he needed a new one every Christmas.  You see, he had decided when he was younger that because he had enough to care for himself and his family, he wanted to do something for someone less fortunate.  So, every Christmas he invited a local impoverished man to join his family for Christmas dinner.  Sometimes they were homeless, sometimes not, but they never had sufficient for their needs.  They lived in a northern location, and the winters were often very cold.  During the Christmas celebration the guest was included in every conversation and activity, and made to feel welcome.  Once the meal ended and before the guest would leave, the host would present him with his warm winter coat.  There were often tears of gratitude and amazement at the man’s generosity.  The coat was the most wonderful gift that could be given in a bitterly cold winter, and as the guest would leave hugs and words of encouragement would be exchanged.  Afterward, the man’s wife would present him with her Christmas present of a new winter coat for the coming year.

Extending ourselves and making room for others in our lives is perhaps the most precious gift we can give.  It requires us to look outside ourselves, and see those around us.  It doesn’t always have to be gift, it doesn’t have to be money, it may just be time.  Perhaps just saying hello, listening, and being a friend is all that’s needed.  Sometimes we might help out with something that is difficult.  Or we might offer to help with transportation for a meeting or appointment.  There are millions of people in the world, but there are times when we all feel isolated and alone.  If we can extend ourselves just a little to those around us, we may eliminate those feelings in a small way.  If we all worked together, the world would be a warmer and more welcoming place.

Making room in our lives isn’t hard, but it does take commitment.  Many of us have a little time we can spare, but even if time is limited, it doesn’t take much to say hello and ask how someone is doing.  Of course there are big, international projects we may get involved in if we like.  There is always a lot of need in the world.  But if those big projects aren’t possible, we can simply commit to being kind and welcoming to those around us. If we have possessions we no longer use, we could offer them to someone who needs them.  We might offer our homes to those who need a place to stay, food to those who are hungry, or a smile to those who are sad.  If we make it a priority to extend ourselves, we can be a light in the darkness, and we can lift those around us.

Today as you do all the things you need to do, take a moment to look at those around you.  Is there some way you might offer something positive?  Is there some small favor you could do?  If there is, extend yourself in friendship and kindness.  Nobody likes feeling alone and sad.  You have the power to lift someone around you and be a light.  Today, offer your hand and your help.

Tags: , ,

Running With Scissors

9 Oct

Everyone tries to make good decisions and do things that will bring them happiness and success. We work hard at what we want to accomplish and try to learn as we go. But sometimes we get a little sidetracked and do things that work against us. We might say something spiteful back to someone who has hurt our feelings, or take revenge on someone because of something they did to us. These responses do nothing positive for us, but at times it feels like they give us some satisfaction. Unfortunately, they don’t ever work in our favor and do nothing to move us forward. Instead of resolving a situation, if we do things like these oftentimes we end up escalating it. It’s like running with scissors. We might get to a destination faster but the risk of making things worse is real and present.

If we’ve been hurt and are angry, returning pain for pain is always an option. We can hit back, return nasty barbs, or do something else to even the score. Unfortunately if we take this route, often instead we just up the ante. And then we have to even the score again. If things continue to escalate, the situation can get out of hand and we lose control of the objective. In every conflict we have a choice. We can try to diminish it or we can make it worse. Making it worse is never in our best interest. If we make that our pattern, we may spend a lot of time wrestling with issues instead of solving them. But it’s not fair for us to be treated badly, and sometimes we feel like we have to do something to make things right. But making things right is rarely achieved when a contest of wills gets intense.

The only way to handle a situation when we’ve been hurt, or maligned, is to be in control. The best way to gain control is to return better behavior for the insult. If someone says we’re an idiot, we don’t have to agree, but we could quietly and politely say something to diffuse the situation. If we aren’t attacking in our response, the other party has nothing to rebut. It takes two to argue and if we lower the tension, the argument has a better chance of becoming a conversation. If someone says something that deeply hurts or ridicules us, we could simply thank them for their opinion and say nothing more. Many times when others attack us personally they expect a fight. They have volleyed the first serve over the net and are in control. We can take that control away from them by managing what happens next. It isn’t easy but we are capable of deflating the conflict by being polite, and calm. Most people who like to fight like to pick on others who will take the bait. We can determine not to take it. We can decide to take control instead. And if we do, we win.

Today if someone is baiting you into an argument, if you’ve been insulted or demeaned, you don’t have to enter the fight. You can take control of the situation be being calm and polite. No matter what happens you can return your best behavior. You can be better, and you can silence the conflict. You are strong and capable of making excellent choices. Today make the choice that puts you on top. That’s the best place to be, and is exactly where you belong.

Tags: , ,

Purple

8 Oct

When we have something we strongly believe in, something that defines us and makes us who we are, it’s important to hold fast to it. There may be some who will criticize us, or even demean our beliefs, but that has no power over our decision to continue.  There are all kinds of beliefs, tenets, and guidelines we may choose to help govern our lives.  Sometimes we have the inclusion of those around us, and sometimes we stand alone.  We all have personal choices and when they don’t follow everyone else’s idea of the norm, we may stand out.  But whatever choices we make are up to us, and unless we’re hurting someone else, we are entitled to them.  Differences sometimes make others uncomfortable.  We can exercise patience and understanding, and a willingness to accept people as they are.  If we do that, we will be comfortable and supportive in any situation.

Our beliefs vary from one another.  Perhaps we love the color purple. We think purple is the best, happiest color there is and we wear it every day. We talk to people about it and try to convince them of its very positive influence, and explain their lives would be better if they included purple in them. We take every opportunity to sing about it, talk about it, and praise it with everyone we meet. Some people might think we have clouded judgment, and some may openly deride us for our allegiance to it.  Others may say we’re foolish and naïve to believe in such a thing, and instead we should go along with what everyone else is doing.  But we can stay true to our choice if it’s what makes us happy. We can be strong going forward with our faith.  Others may not understand our choices, but we don’t need their approval.

Approval is something we all seek to some degree.  Most of us want to be accepted, included, and part of the group.  If we’re different that may take a little more time than if we look and act like everyone else.  But being different makes us more interesting.  We don’t have to conform to be accepted.  We don’t have wear beige just because everyone else is wearing beige.  We can be purple.  We can be happy and inclusive to those around us, and accepting of others, and we can still be true to our beliefs and fit in.  It’s important to be genuinely true to ourselves.  We are in control of our lives and get to decide how we want to live them.

Today if you feel left out because you’re not like everyone else, remember how your differences make you unique.  Extend your hand in friendship and be accepting to those around you.  Show your care and compassion, and be kind in all your dealings.  Others will respond positively and before you know it, everyone will be on your side.  You are great just as you are.  Be true to yourself, and be happy sharing your life just the way you like it.

Tags: , ,

Wingspan

7 Oct

When birds fly, they stretch their wings all the way out to use the entire span for lift. They reach and pull to make the most of each stroke so their flight is even, and seemingly effortless. However, nothing that defies gravity is effortless, and in spite of the work it takes, they fly when they want to, and get where they need to be. We don’t have wings, but we have things we need to do and they take effort as well. If we enjoy the task it can seem easy and fun, but no matter what we’re doing we need to make sure it gets done. There is an old saying that anything worth doing is worth doing well. And that’s true. If we’re going to expend any effort, or do anything, we should do it the best way we can.

Some people choose to live a lukewarm existence. They don’t volunteer to do any heavy lifting, they don’t push themselves to be better, and they don’t care if they learn and grow. They are happy keeping things predictable and easy, and they don’t want to stretch. They can’t risk getting sore by doing too much or trying too hard so they keep a low profile and just get by. If we choose to live like that we might have an easier ride overall, and we may not feel great disappointment.  But we also won’t feel great accomplishment or the excitement of changing and growing. We can coast through our days if we like, and give the least amount of effort to the things we do. We can get by doing the minimum amount required, or we can apply ourselves, challenge ourselves and see how far we can go. If we do as little as possible, we probably won’t learn anything new. We’ll get through the task, check if off our lists, and forget about it.

Stretching our wings takes thought and preparation. If we really apply ourselves, if we look to see what new things we can learn, and what real gifts we can offer, our tasks will be more rewarding and we’ll grow as we complete them. Others will notice how much interest we have in the things we do, and if we’re really committed to excellence, will entrust us with their best projects, and their best ideas. We’ll never realize how far we can go if we don’t leave our comfort zone. We’ll never know how much we can learn if we don’t try new things. This life is a time to experiment, to test, to try, and to push ourselves and go as far as we can. If we stretch our wings all the way out, and use all the strength and determination we can, we’ll become stronger, more confident people who understand they can do anything. Nothing will stop us and the world will belong to us.

Today if you’ve been keeping a low profile, if you’ve been doing just enough to get by, try to reach a little further. You have abilities you haven’t yet realized. You can do anything and when you reach for it, you can conquer any circumstance. You are capable of accomplishing whatever you set your mind to. Be confident. Open all the doors and go boldly through each one. You’ve got everything you need to accomplish anything you choose. Spread your wings all the way out and soar. Today, show the world what you’re made of and what you can do.

Tags: , ,

Same Time Same Place

6 Oct

There is a law of physics that states no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time. One will necessarily take the place of the other and push it away. Although we might recognize this as truth, there are times when we really want to do something, but at the same time are afraid to accomplish it. There is sometimes an internal struggle between truly wanting something and being afraid we can’t have it. We feel torn and conflicted, but the fact of the matter is, even though we believe we are thinking about both possibilities concurrently, one is overcoming the other. It is impossible to have faith and doubt at the same time. One will take the place of the other and determine our actions. If we struggle thinking about what we want, and do nothing, the fear is in control. But if we’re doing everything possible to make the change happen despite the fear, we are in control. If we want to find success in anything, the first step, the most important step, is to be in control.

We can make lots of changes in our lives. The small changes are easier to accomplish than the large ones, and it’s the big changes that impact us the most. It takes more effort to change something with a big impact on our lives, but the rewards of succeeding in making the change are great. If we want to change career fields to something completely different, it takes courage and faith to do what is needed to make the transition and be successful. If we want to make serious changes in our personal life, it takes determination and focus to make them happen. If we want to change our physical appearance it takes dedication and a strong will to endure what is needed. The biggest positive changes we make in our lives bring the biggest rewards. When we accomplish them we feel powerful and invincible. We did something really difficult and we succeeded. Our confidence will soar and we’ll be happy we persevered.

When we’re facing a decision to do something difficult, we may spend some time going back and forth weighing the costs and the options. We look at all the benefits to be gained by making the change, and what will happen if we did nothing. Once we decide we want to move forward and begin doing what is needed to begin the process of changing, we may have moments of doubt. We may be afraid we won’t succeed. Others may encourage us or they may say we’re crazy for trying. But it doesn’t matter what anyone says. What matters is what we want most. If this is what we want, we can push the doubts out of our minds and be confident. We can believe we can succeed and we can continue to push forward a little every day. If we have faith in ourselves, and if we keep going, we will be successful in whatever change we are seeking. We will overcome every obstacle, and we will win.

Today if you’re facing doubt over a decision you really want to achieve, push the doubt from your mind. Have faith. You have everything you need to succeed. You’ve already decided what you want. All you have to do is keep walking forward. You can overcome anything in the way, and you can climb any hill that lies ahead. You are strong and you will win. Keep your eyes on the goal. It’s closer than you think.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →