Tag Archives: Complications


14 Jan

We all have expectations about our lives. We set goals, work toward them and expect to succeed. Every time we do something we expect a certain result. Sometimes those expectations are realized exactly as we planned, and sometimes they go another way. We can have great expectations about what we want from others, and if we are able to effectively communicate them, and those involved are willing to comply, we may get exactly what we’re hoping for. But again, sometimes things go another way. If our expectations are too high we may be disappointed, and if they are too low we may not get the results we were hoping for. We need to find the balance between what we want to happen and how we’ll get there. If we think about that and plan accordingly we might have a better chance of getting where we want to be. But finding the right balance isn’t always as easy as it sounds. And when we miss the mark we often miss the goal as well.

If we want others to work with us and make plans that include responsibilities above what they can or want to provide we will not find success. Perhaps we’ve been in situations where what we’ve been expected to provide is more than we could accomplish. It’s an uncomfortable situation and even if we know going in that it’s impossible for us to accomplish, we may try anyway. But expectations are just a belief that something will or should happen. They are a plan for the future. We are living today and there is no way to predict what will come. We can plan and make decisions about what we want, but realizing those plans and decisions depends on a lot of factors. If we aren’t careful when we set our expectations, we may fail.

How can we find a happy medium, the place where our expectations stretch us but don’t prevent us from success? If our goal involves a big change it won’t happen overnight. Rome wasn’t built in a day and we probably won’t make big changes in one either. To be successful we can make many smaller goals that one by one will lead us to the final achievement. And we must be prepared for all the complications that undoubtedly will arise along the way. But if we take the time to objectively look at where we are, where we want to be, and what we need to do to get there, and then set intermediate goals along the way, we will succeed. We need to consider everything in our lives, all the time pressures, our financial limitations, our responsibilities, and then make a plan that is both workable and adaptable. When we want something we sometimes want it right away but life doesn’t work that way. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. But expecting any change requires planning. Setting up realistic expectations is the first step. Once we begin we can plan each step as we go forward and if we’re consistent and diligent, keeping our eyes on the prize, we will reach the goal.

Today if you’re deciding on a change, and making expectations for how it will come about, plan carefully. Consider the entire picture and then determine how you’ll go forward. You can succeed at anything you want to do. Take it one step at a time, adjust your path as needed and move forward. The goal is attainable and you will reach it. You have everything you need to get anywhere you want to go. Start today. Expect the best and then plan for it.


17 Nov

Life is unpredictable and we are sometimes stunned or even shocked by the way events unfold. Situations can change suddenly and unexpectedly, and in an instant we may find ourselves in a completely different place. When it’s somewhere we never expected to go, it can be startling and unsettling. Like an unexpected earthquake we are caught off guard and feel like the ground beneath us may give way. When everything shifts and the bottom suddenly falls out, we may be left dangling trying to figure out what to do. But we can hold on and go forward once the shaking stops and get our bearings again. If everything is suddenly changed we have to let it all go, and get down to our very foundation to begin again. This can be a stunning and difficult experience, and we may feel great sadness and disappointment. But we can start over in a new and more successful direction. We can re-set, revise, and modify our course going forward. We can find the right road, and we can still succeed.

When our lives suddenly change and nothing remains the same, we have to reorganize our thinking. If we’ve invested a lot of time in the situation we may feel angry at how much we’ve lost. However, as long as we’re actively engaged in our lives, we aren’t wasting time. No matter what comes to us we gain something from every experience. We learn things as we go, even if the situation disintegrates. If nothing else, we’ve learned what can go wrong and that is valuable information. Every experience brings some bit of information we can use again that will be helpful. Even when we fall, we learn more than we knew before.

Deciding how to go forward when we’ve had a serious realignment in our focus may take some time and thought. Sometimes a sudden turn changes our destination, and we must clearly determine where our next step will take us. We must decide where we want to go now, and what we want our lives to look like when we get there. Once we’ve decided that, we can plot a course and make a plan to succeed. There really are no straight lines in life. There are lots of curves, detours, changes, and complications that pull us here and there. But if we keep the destination in our minds, and keep our eyes on the goal, no matter what happens, we’ll get there. We will do whatever it takes to succeed.

Today if you’ve had a stunning development that has shaken your course off its axis, regain your footing and reevaluate your plans. Decide where you want to go. You haven’t wasted any time, and you will use the knowledge you’ve gained from this experience to be successful going forward. You are strong enough and smart enough to figure this out. You have everything you need already.

Square One

13 Nov

When we’re working on something, or trying to move forward with a situation in our lives, we try to choose the best course. But sometimes after we’ve been at it for a while we find we’re in the wrong place, and what we’ve been doing isn’t working. And then we have to stop, and rethink the situation. It can feel defeating to discover we are back at square one again, and we have to start over realizing all the progress we thought we were making was an illusion. We need to regroup and reconsider where to go from here. Being at square one after we’ve been working to move forward can feel like failure, but there is sometimes no way to see where we’re going until we get there. Choosing the wrong path doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we tried one option that didn’t work. Returning to the beginning again isn’t always a step backward. Sometimes it’s the next step forward. We’ve discovered what doesn’t work and are wiser from the experience. Now we can choose again knowing more than we knew before.

Nobody can tell the future and there is no way to know how things will develop. Even if we try to consider all the possible complications that may occur, there is bound to be one we didn’t see. All we can do is use the information we have to formulate our best plan and go forward. When that doesn’t work, we have to try again. We never fail when we keep trying, but only if we stop and give up. Some things work out the first time, but often when we’re trying to learn new things, accomplish something complicated, or correct our path, it takes a few attempts before we figure things out. We learn as we go and each experience gives us valuable information to use going forward.

The expectations of others sometimes create stress as we are trying to find our way. There may be some who expect us to get everything right the first time, or some who are impatient with how long it takes us to get the job done. But we are all different, and we process things differently. We can take a little more time if we need to, and we can try a few different roads until we succeed. When we do things our way we’ll find what works and we will succeed. We are capable of figuring out any problem or situation that comes to us. Returning to square one will enable us to reevaluate, and use the new information we have to determine the best way forward.

Today if what you’ve been doing isn’t working, you can change your course. Start over, rethink the situation, and look at it again with all the information you have. You will find your way and you’ll be successful. Returning to square one is not failure. It’s the chance to begin again. Use it to define what will work and you’ll succeed.



27 Oct

There is a game children play that’s like baseball but before the “batter” can run, they must stand the bat on the ground, place their head on top of it and spin around it several times.  Then they stand up – as best they can – and try to run to the bases.  It’s very funny to watch the players try to proceed in a straight line when they’re dizzy from spinning.  If you’ve ever played this game, you know how difficult it is to find direction when you’re completely disoriented.  Sometimes it can feel like our lives are like that.  We know where we want to go, but somehow no matter how hard we try to advance in a straight line, we end up going in lots of different directions.  There are complications, misdirection, distractions, and endless influences that pull us off our course.

Getting from point “A” to point “B” seems like a simple idea.  We just need to look at them objectively, and plot a course from one to the other.  It sounds easy but when we’re dealing with other people whose decisions also come into play, it can get confusing.  Most of the things we do in this life involve others.  We have to find a way to cooperate and work with their ideas and visions, as well as our own.  Although we may be sure which way we need to go, and we have the plan already formulated in our minds, their ideas of how proceed may be quite different.  When we try to put them together and come up with a workable plan going forward, the path may get fuzzy, and if we aren’t careful we can lose our way.  It’s like spinning before we walk forward.  We know where we need to end up but trying to walk a straight line to get there eludes us.

Before we start any journey, we need to be clear in our objective and understand the mission we’re trying to accomplish.  It’s important to know exactly what we’re trying to do before we start out.  Sometimes that’s easy to discern, but other times it can be obscure.  We have an idea of what needs to be done, but really aren’t sure about the desired destination.  Before we even begin to formulate a plan, we need to clarify exactly where it is we want to end up.  Otherwise we may find that although we eventually get to a destination, and achieve something, it isn’t what we needed to accomplish.  Sometimes that happens because there is too much input, and sometimes it’s because there isn’t enough.  Either way, if we aren’t sure where we’re headed, when we start the journey it’s difficult to get our feet pointed in the right direction and in the end may end up far from where we want to be.

Today if you’re confused about which way you’re going, if you aren’t sure what the objective is, stop and determine exactly what you need to do.  Don’t waste time spinning.  Get clarification before you proceed.  Once you’re clear on where you’re headed, you can plot your course, and despite what stands in the way, will be able to get there successfully.  You have all the tools you need to get wherever you want to go.  Clear your head and make your plan.  You’re just steps away from arriving exactly at the right spot.