Magic Words

28 Oct

As times change, societies evolve in different ways and people change the way they receive information and react to others.  Throughout the course of history different accepted models for behavior have changed as well, and our ideas about manners and the rules of engagement have shifted along with them.  During the Victorian Era, the rules for behavior were very formal and the level of etiquette for everyone was quite high.  Our society has changed dramatically since those times, but manners are still important and there is nothing more impressive than appropriate, polite interaction.  Just remembering to say “thank you” when someone does something for us is a way to show our appreciation and acceptance.  But sometimes in the busy lives we lead, and all the distractions we face, we may neglect to speak up and instead just push forward.  There really is no substitute for showing our appreciation and taking time to be polite and considerate in our dealings.  It generally makes our interactions more positive and can smooth over any rough edges.

Many people don’t seem to value politeness in this day and age.  There is a great focus on getting things done, moving fast, and doing what is important to us.  Sadly, there is no shortage of selfishness or callousness.  But a competitive spirit and the desire to accomplish much should never keep us from being kind and considerate to those around us.  Just saying “thank you” when someone hands us something and “you’re welcome” when we are thanked goes a long way in showing people we care.  Caring for one another let’s others know we are aware of them.  If we extend ourselves just a little by being polite and sharing ourselves as we go through our days, we can be a positive influence, and the world always needs more of that.

If we choose to, we can get what we want, and do everything we need to without considering anyone else but ourselves.  We can make our plans alone, and keep our eyes down as we walk along.  We don’t have to engage others if we don’t want to, and may remain silent when someone opens a door for us, or look the other way when someone says hello. We can keep to ourselves and be as isolated as we like.  But that will never bring us the joy and growth that being open to those around us can bring.  If we take a moment to say “thank you” when someone does something small for us, it opens a door, and we’ll feel more connected and closer to them as we pass.  Being polite and gracious means being there, in the moment, and acknowledging others.  It’s said that “please” and “thank you” are magic words, and they are.  When we say them, they open doors every time.

Today if you’ve been keeping a low profile, preferring to remain silent and isolated, think about looking up and engaging those around you.  Say “please,” “thank you” and “you’re welcome”.  You are a great influence and everyone wants to know you.  Be gracious, be polite, and let your actions welcome them in.

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Spinning

27 Oct

There is a game children play that’s like baseball but before the “batter” can run, they must stand the bat on the ground, place their head on top of it and spin around it several times.  Then they stand up – as best they can – and try to run to the bases.  It’s very funny to watch the players try to proceed in a straight line when they’re dizzy from spinning.  If you’ve ever played this game, you know how difficult it is to find direction when you’re completely disoriented.  Sometimes it can feel like our lives are like that.  We know where we want to go, but somehow no matter how hard we try to advance in a straight line, we end up going in lots of different directions.  There are complications, misdirection, distractions, and endless influences that pull us off our course.

Getting from point “A” to point “B” seems like a simple idea.  We just need to look at them objectively, and plot a course from one to the other.  It sounds easy but when we’re dealing with other people whose decisions also come into play, it can get confusing.  Most of the things we do in this life involve others.  We have to find a way to cooperate and work with their ideas and visions, as well as our own.  Although we may be sure which way we need to go, and we have the plan already formulated in our minds, their ideas of how proceed may be quite different.  When we try to put them together and come up with a workable plan going forward, the path may get fuzzy, and if we aren’t careful we can lose our way.  It’s like spinning before we walk forward.  We know where we need to end up but trying to walk a straight line to get there eludes us.

Before we start any journey, we need to be clear in our objective and understand the mission we’re trying to accomplish.  It’s important to know exactly what we’re trying to do before we start out.  Sometimes that’s easy to discern, but other times it can be obscure.  We have an idea of what needs to be done, but really aren’t sure about the desired destination.  Before we even begin to formulate a plan, we need to clarify exactly where it is we want to end up.  Otherwise we may find that although we eventually get to a destination, and achieve something, it isn’t what we needed to accomplish.  Sometimes that happens because there is too much input, and sometimes it’s because there isn’t enough.  Either way, if we aren’t sure where we’re headed, when we start the journey it’s difficult to get our feet pointed in the right direction and in the end may end up far from where we want to be.

Today if you’re confused about which way you’re going, if you aren’t sure what the objective is, stop and determine exactly what you need to do.  Don’t waste time spinning.  Get clarification before you proceed.  Once you’re clear on where you’re headed, you can plot your course, and despite what stands in the way, will be able to get there successfully.  You have all the tools you need to get wherever you want to go.  Clear your head and make your plan.  You’re just steps away from arriving exactly at the right spot.

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Unbelievable

26 Oct

When we make plans with others and decide to meet somewhere, we expect them to show up.  When we work on a project and someone commits to doing something, we expect them to follow through.  We plan our lives around our commitments and the promises of others.  But sometimes things don’t go the way we plan.  Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t keep their word, their promise, or their commitment to do something or be somewhere.  If it’s inconsequential and doesn’t impact our lives very much, we may overlook it.  But if they continually fail to follow through, we learn we can’t believe them.  If we can’t trust them to keep their word we may decide not to be in a position where we have to rely on them.  Being unbelievable is detrimental to our progress.  If we let that happen, we’ll lose the trust of those around us, and trust once lost, is difficult to rebuild.

We always have the option of saying no when we’re asked to do something.  If we don’t think we can follow through, instead of saying we will, we should decline.  Even if the other person is insistent, if we aren’t sure we can do it, we should not commit.  It’s far better to be truthful about our circumstances than to agree to something we’re doubtful we can fulfill.  If we say we’ll do something, it needs to happen.  If we say we’ll be somewhere, we need to show.  Of course, sometimes complications arise and we aren’t able to follow through, but that shouldn’t happen continually.  If we drop the ball again and again, and fail to keep our word, and are not believable, people will learn not to ask us to join in.  In the long run we may lose valuable opportunities.

People can change and we can restore our credibility if we’ve lost it, but it will take time and unrelenting diligence.  We must commit to following through on our word no matter what.  We have to show up without exception, always do what we said we would, and never break our word going forward.  When we first decide to change our course and become reliable, those who’ve dealt with us in the past may not believe us.  It takes time to restore trust that’s been broken and it takes time to change our image.  But if it’s important to us, if we want to be trustworthy and believable, we can do it.  Each time we keep our word we’ll get closer to where we want to be.  If we are careful and follow through every time, eventually we’ll restore our image, and people will believe we are trustworthy.  We will become believable and reliable.

Today if you realize you’ve broken promises and neglected to follow through on your word in the past, but now want to change your behavior, commit to doing whatever it takes to correct your course.  Do everything needed to keep your promises, and be where you agreed to be or do what you said you’d do.  Make sure you don’t commit to anything you aren’t sure you can accomplish, and then keep every commitment.  You know what needs to be done.  Turn the tide in your favor today and keep it flowing your way.  Others want to trust you.  Give them a good reason to do it.

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Tapping Potential

25 Oct

To collect the sap from maple trees, a spike with a spout is hammered into the trees in early spring. The sap flows from the trees into buckets or lines attached to the spouts. Some days a lot of sap flows and other days it slows down. Although the flows are unpredictable, without the spike, no sap can be collected. Although we aren’t maple trees and don’t have sap, we do have potential we can tap into. Sometimes we need an event – a spike if you will – to realize the potential, and other times we can tap into it on our own. We all have untapped potential waiting to be realized. We can do anything. Our internal potential is a reflection of our unrealized expectations. When we don’t fulfill our expectations and make our potential progress a reality, it sits, dormant. If we want to live our lives to the fullest and be the very best we can be, we need to consider our possibilities, and then do everything we can to fulfill them.

Living a life of mediocrity can be comfortable. It’s like taking a lukewarm bath. The water isn’t hot enough to soothe tired muscles, and it isn’t cold enough to make us shiver. It’s the same temperature as the air around us, and we can hardly feel it when we step in. Mediocrity is the same way. It doesn’t take a lot of effort, it’s easy to accomplish, and we are hardly bothered or inconvenienced. But a mediocre existence is a life half realized. When we keep everything even and safe, when we take no chances, when we stretch no further than we can reach, we end up with a simple, predictable life. Some people prefer living this way, but when we do, we miss out on the tremendous growth we can make, and the amazing things we can do. Lukewarm means to be indifferent, which means to be apathetic and unconcerned. There are many things we need not be concerned about, but the way we live our lives shouldn’t be one of them.

Imagine what our lives could be like if every day we determined to be the very best person we could be. If we decided to stretch, give, learn, and grow a little more than was comfortable. Imagine the mountains we would climb and the challenges we could conquer. We don’t have to do everything at once, and we can change one small thing at a time. Life is not a race, but it is certainly a journey. Any successful journey needs a destination and a plan. If we want to have a rich, fulfilling life, filled with experiences that will renew and excite us, we need to decide on a destination of personal fulfillment. We can decide to live each day to the fullest and plan our actions accordingly. This life is a gift. Every single day is a blessing. We can waste them, skate through them, and ignore them, or we can face each one with an open mind and an open heart, determined not to lose one moment.

Today if you’ve been going through the motions, just getting through, think about tapping into your highest potential. Decide to stretch and push a little further. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll accomplish. You’ll grow more than you can imagine and gain confidence and grace. You have everything you need to live your life fully and completely. Don’t let another moment go by without embracing it. This is your life. Fill it up with everything you’ve been hoping for, and soon your dreams will become your reality.

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Number One

24 Oct

We live in a world with billions of people and there are more and more of us each day. Unless we live somewhere in the wilderness or someplace so remote that we are the only one inhabiting it, we will see others around us all the time. They pass us on the street, in our cars, in the store, and everywhere we go. Having compassion for them, helping them, and acknowledging them makes the world a better place. But some of us have the idea that we need only look out for number one – ourselves. They make sure all their needs and wants are met before they are willing to extend themselves, and when they do, there must be something in it for them. There are benefits to looking out for number one, and we certainly are responsible for taking care of ourselves. However, if we become the primary focus in our lives all the time, and if we have to benefit every time we do something, we might forget how important our connections are to those around us.

Most of us have a lot to take care of each day. We have our personal needs, our jobs, our schools, our families, and a dozen other things that require our attention. If we wanted to we could make sure not to commit to anything unless there is some bonus for us. We could ignore the phone when it rings because we don’t want to be bothered, pretend not to hear when others call our name because we don’t want to interrupt what we’re doing, and just focus on ourselves. If we do this routinely, we will be effective in making our lives the most important part of our days, but we will probably alienate everyone else who is close to us. There is nothing wrong with doing things we enjoy or making our choices a priority, and we should do everything important to us. But there needs to be a balance. We can do those things and still extend ourselves to those around us, and participate in the group.

Belonging to a community, interacting with others, extending our hands in friendship, and helping out, bring us great satisfaction and contentment. We learn about others, we exchange new ideas with them, and our lives are enriched because of the experiences we share. If we isolate ourselves from them, determined to just look out for number one, and see only what’s important to us, we miss the valuable experience of connecting. Feeling connected is important. It gives us a sense of foundation, a base, and makes us feel stronger, and safer. When we take the time to share ourselves, we develop relationships that brings us happiness, and we build a network of people who care about us. Others we can depend on, people who will help us when we need it, and buoy us up when we feel down. It’s a wonderful blessing to have the care of others, and we get that care when we extend it ourselves. It’s true that no man is an island. We’re all in this together. Remembering that will help us stay connected and find our place.

Today if you’ve been focusing on yourself and getting what you want, don’t forget those around you. They need your influence and welcome your attention. Extend yourself to them, care for them, and let them care for you. You have a lot to share, and they want to share in return. Be connected and reach out. The rewards will be great, and you’ll be happier.

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