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Birds of a Feather

14 Jul

We associate with all kinds of people throughout our lives. Some are family, some are friends, some are lovers, some are acquaintances, and some may even be enemies. Except for family situations or times when we must associate with someone because of a job or other activity, we may choose with whom we spend our time. It’s wise to think about the behaviors and choices of those we share our lives with. We all influence the world in many ways and personal influence can be very powerful. If we frequently associate with someone whose choices are negative, they may, over time, become a detrimental influence in our lives. There is an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It obviously means people who share the same types of preferences and choices tend to spend time together. It’s fun to share our time with others who enjoy our company and like the same things we do. But if we are in relationships with someone who is making bad choices, or whose behavior is destructive and hurtful, and we spend a lot of time with them, we may get hurt. We are in control of our lives but repeated exposure to negative behavior over time may affect us. We deserve to be happy and live with the least amount of complication. We can associate with whomever we choose, but it’s wise to be careful about their influence over us.

Relationships are important and we all want strong, healthy, and happy ones. If we have someone in our lives who belittles us, ridicules us or makes us feel small or unworthy, their comments and actions may have a negative impact on us. If we’ve been in the relationship for a long time it may be hard to find a way out. But we are important and we deserve to be treated well. If we’re struggling with a family member we value but who treats us this way, we can limit our time with them. We don’t have to sever all our ties but we can lessen our exposure. We don’t have to do anything that is uncomfortable for us and we can take care of ourselves and minimize offensive interactions. We can determine how much time negative influences may have in our lives, and we can limit it so we’re comfortable and do what’s best for us.

If we have friends who make decisions and choices we find difficult, we don’t have to participate. We never have to go along just because someone wants us to, and we always have the right to say no. We can be polite and gracious, but if we’re uncomfortable with any situation we can opt out. We don’t have to go anywhere we don’t want to go, or do anything we don’t want to do. Our lives are ours to design and direct. If we have friends who do things that make us uncomfortable, we can tell them how we feel and explain our boundaries. If they can accept our choices, we may continue the relationship. If they can’t accept them, we may do other things. We can change anything we need to ensure we’re happy with what we’re doing and where we’re going.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, if someone near you is including you in a decision that doesn’t feel right or is criticizing you and making you feel bad, you may step away. You deserve the life that makes you happiest. You know what feels right. Determine what works for you and follow that. You deserve every blessing. Today let yourself have them.

How We Get There

12 Jul

As we go through our lives we make millions of decisions and choose which way we want to go. We have goals we want to achieve and destinations to find. There are countless ways to get anywhere we want to go and do the things we want to do. We can take a paved road that has been traveled many times, we can choose our own road, or we can create a combination of the two. We can be honest as we move along or we can choose to break every rule in order to get to the end. It’s all up to us. But the choices we make along the way matter. It matters how we get there. Every choice changes us in some way. If we continually choose with honesty and integrity, those attributes will be reflected in our personalities. Conversely, if we choose to storm through, with no thought to whom we hurt along the way and only see ourselves, that too will be reflected in who we are. Every step we take changes us in some way. It’s important to make sure the steps we choose reflect who we most want to be.

Sometimes if we want something very badly we might decide to compromise our values in order to move forward. We might cheat a little, or manipulate the situation by saying things that aren’t completely true, or we might cut a corner that leaves someone out. It’s possible those tactics may move us forward more quickly but the cost will be high. Cheating may bring us a desired result but it won’t be because we earned it. Dishonesty may help us skip a few steps but the lies will follow us for the rest of our lives. And sometimes the person we push out of the way in our effort to move forward may be the only one who can open the door when we arrive at the destination. Compromising our values to achieve any goal will hurt us in the end. We know what’s best for us and there is no goal or destination worth deserting who we are to get to it.

We can choose our own paths and don’t have to take roads that have been designed by others. We don’t have to follow the norm just because it’s the way things have been done. We can create a new road and go our own way. There may be some who will tell us it can’t be done, or others who protest because what we’re doing doesn’t match their paradigm for how things should work, but we can still do it our way. Nobody knows what works for us better than we do. We can find our own way, even in the dark if we have to. We can design a new road, and still get to the goal. If we want to follow the proven path we can. But we have everything we need to create a new road. We can succeed at anything we choose. We can find our way to any destination and we can do it honestly and with grace never forgetting who we are.

Today if you’ve been trying to get to a goal but the paved road isn’t working for you, start a new path. Be honest and clear in your dealings and make every turn authentically yours. You have everything you need to succeed. Choose a road that reflects who you are. Make the journey valiant. The goal is worth your best efforts. Give your very best and you’ll get to the end with honor.

Doing it Right

11 Jul

When we’re trying to get something done and we encounter a complication that takes time and effort to navigate we have lots of choices we can make.  If we’re in a hurry to complete the task and don’t care how we get it done, we can push through whatever problems arise, focus only on our goal and rush forward.  If the goal is something we’ve worked toward for a long time and are tired of dealing with it we might ignore problems and go around them instead of solving them.  We can get to any goal any way we want to.  We can work problems and find the best solutions as we go or we can shove our way through in order to finish the task and move on.  If all we see is the finish line and pay no attention to how we get there we might take shortcuts to get there sooner but in the end neglecting details may cause us more headaches.  Doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing.  But if we do our best to completely address each situation and solve whatever problems arise as go our path will often be less complicated later.  It may take a little more time to tie up all the loose ends but left dangling and unsolved, problems have a way of circling back and tangling up our future plans.  They say a job worth doing is worth doing well, and that’s true.  If we effectively try to do our best as we go, the road will be easier and less complicated in the future.

Quick fixes are great.  We get in, do what absolutely has to be done now, and get out.  But the quick fix isn’t always the best option.  In the material world if we have something that’s broken and needs repair but we don’t have time, we might do something to hold it for now.  We know the fix won’t last forever and it’s just a patch until we can return and take care of the problem permanently.  In our personal lives we sometimes use quick fixes as well.  The problem with using quick fixes is our lives continue on and more things happen.  We have other situations to address and before we know it time has gone by and we haven’t returned to finish the situation we set aside.  If we do this continually our lives will be cluttered up with all kinds of problems that are half finished and half solved.  They’ll be in the back of our minds niggling at us to return and may chip away at our confidence because we haven’t completed them.

Most problems have a beginning when they arise, a middle as we process them and figure them out, and an end when we solve them.  Solving a problem is the only way to get rid of it.  It’s the only way to leave it behind and move ahead.  If we get stuck in the middle, and set it aside, the problem sits and waits for us to return.  Most problems don’t go away on their own.  They hang around until we decide to look at them and solve them.  While they wait, we carry them with us.  They weigh on us and may impact our ability to move forward.  It’s like dragging something heavy behind us as we try to step ahead.  We can keep our lives clear if we address our problems and do our best to resolve them when they appear so we can let them go and move on.

Today if you have unresolved issues that are weighing on you, choose to solve them and let them go.  You don’t need to drag them along with you.  You deserve to feel free and confident, and taking care of things now will give that to you.

Tide Coming In

8 Jul

If we walk along the shoreline and watch the tide come in, we might see all kinds of things roll in with it.  There may be beautiful and interesting shells, perhaps a starfish, sea glass, maybe some sharks’ teeth or an ancient glass buoy.  The oceans travel the earth’s surface and as they pass along pick up treasures and carry them to far away shores.  Every time we walk along the sand is an adventure.  We never know what we’ll find or what will come in with each wave.  Our lives are like that.  Each day brings with it limitless possibilities.  We don’t know what will happen, who we’ll see, or what we’ll learn.  We might meet a new friend or go someplace we’ve never been, or we might see something we’ve only dreamed about.  There is no end to what could happen but if we’re present and aware we’ll get the most from the experience.  Everything we go through, and everything that comes to us brings something new we can learn, and we can take all those lessons forward. They will enrich our lives and give us depth.  Sometimes we have no idea where life will take us, but wherever we go, it’s worth the trip.

There is something magical about discovering something new.  Even if we explore every single day of our lives we will never uncover all the amazing things we could see and do.  But trying new things can take courage and we have to be willing to stretch in new ways. We may be unsure because we’ve never done it before and we might be unsteady as we take the first few steps but the adventure comes from taking the chance.  We never know what we can do until we push ourselves and find out.  And the greatest experiences we have often come when we really put ourselves to the test.  When we abandon everything we thought we knew and try something completely different we often discover we are more capable than we ever dreamed, and more courageous than we imagined.

Our days may be filled with routine and expectations.  We may have our hours planned and expect them to follow along as designed.  But there will always be surprises and unexpected events that change things.  It’s up to us to make the most of those opportunities.  If someone new enters the picture, we have the chance to expand our circle and welcome them in.  If an unexpected glitch happens in our plans, we have the opportunity to re-create them and adjust to a new situation.  If a door we thought was open is suddenly locked, we can figure out our way around it.  There are countless things we can learn as we go forward.  When the tide brings in beautiful shells we can bend and pick them up.  If it brings in a tangle of seaweed, we can walk around it.  We can do the same in our personal lives.  Whatever rolls in teaches us something we can take away with us.  If we make the most of each situation, we’ll enrich our lives with countless new experiences and learn more about ourselves and those around us.

Today if something has changed you didn’t expect, or if there is a new situation you must navigate, make the most of it.  Learn all you can and take something of value away.  You are smarter than you think you are and certainly capable of handling anything that comes your way.  If the tide is rolling your way today, step into it.  You have everything you need to do anything you want.

Take My Hand

7 Jul

There are many joyous experiences in our lives but sometimes things can be complicated. There are times in everyone’s life when things go wrong and we feel overwhelmed, or sad, or unsure, or lost. We may struggle to find our way, we may search for answers, we may find it difficult to keep going and we may feel hopeless. During times like those it’s hard to see the sunshine with all the clouds that encompass us. It can feel like everyone’s life is better than ours and it can be a bleak period to endure. During our darkest moments if someone reaches out to us and says, “Here, let me help you. Take my hand,” everything changes. The compassion of someone near can break through pain and pull us up from misery. Sometimes it only takes a small gesture to lift us from the gloom, and when we look up again, we can finally feel we’ll survive. There is nothing more powerful than the human touch. When we’re desperate, lonely, sad, overwhelmed or any of the other difficult emotions we’re going through, someone’s offer to “Take my hand,” can be priceless. It can turn the tide back to our shore and help us find our way home again.

There are countless experiences in our lives that teach us many things. We learn by doing and each new thing teaches us something valuable we can take with us. Some of the lessons are easy, even fun, but some are more difficult. When we’re going through trials and feel beset it can be hard to see the end from where we’re standing. The road we have to traverse can look impossibly long and if we are heartbroken because of the experience, can feel impossible to navigate. We may feel isolated, lost in the confusion, and alone without help but when someone reaches out for us, everything changes. The kindness of someone close who is willing to listen and offer support can turn the tide.

Our lives are busy and we have much to accomplish. There are others around us most of the time and if we look up we may see someone struggling. Maybe it’s a physical challenge that is pressing them, or maybe it’s personal. We don’t have to pry but we can step up, offer our help, and listen. We can be a safe harbor for someone else’s storm and when we are they are lifted, and we are blessed. Nothing brings more blessing or personal joy than helping others. We can be the one to say, “Take my hand,” and offer help and encouragement. There is nothing more tender than true compassion. We can offer it and when we do lives change. We have so much to give. We can change the world.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with a challenge that has been difficult and someone offers to help, let them lift you and share the burden. There isn’t anything you can’t do. If someone near you is struggling, offer your hand and support. You have so much to give. We’re all blessed because you’re here.