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Got Your Back

9 Sep

Recently a police officer was shot to death while pumping gas. It was a horrible, malicious and cowardly act, and authorities have arrested a suspect they believe committed the crime. After that terrible event, while at a gas station with his mother, a sixteen year old boy saw another police officer pumping gas. Concerned about her, he walked up to the officer and asked if he could watch her back while she was standing by her car. Surprised but delighted, the officer agreed. Nothing happened and all went well, but the courage and determination demonstrated by that young man are an example to us all. Who has our backs, and how can we watch out for those around us?

We go through our days, busily completing our various tasks and focused on what we’re doing. Sometimes we don’t pay much attention to what’s going on around us. But everywhere we go there are others just like us, busy getting things done. We get used to seeing them and we don’t really watch what’s going on. But if we take a moment to look up and see what’s around us, who’s walking by, who’s in front of or behind us, we can more closely connect to our surroundings. Being aware is an important facet of any situation. We’re safer when we really see where we are, what’s going on, and what we’re doing.

If we pay more attention to those around us, we can be more helpful. We don’t have to offer to protect a police officer to have someone’s back, but we could help out in other small ways. Maybe we could open a door, or help lift something heavy, or smile at a fussing child, or just say hello. The people around us every day are connected to us. We’re all part of the same big family. We need to watch out for them, and let them watch out for us. Most of us care about others, but perhaps we don’t take as much time as we could to express that care. We can be more involved by helping out, and having their backs. And we can let them watch out for us as well.

Today look around as you go about your tasks and notice those near you. What’s going on? Who’s standing beside you? Is there some way you could help out just a little? Is there some way you can show you care? If there is, do whatever you can, and you’ll feel better knowing you are doing your part. Others will see your example, and like a stone thrown into a pond, the rippling of your good works will create others. Be the one to have someone’s back today. And when others offer to help you out, be grateful.

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The Sky is Falling

23 Jul

When we’re making plans for something we need to do or somewhere we need to go, we try to plan effectively so everything will go well.  But sometimes complications occur that are out of our control.  Sometimes it’s a small manageable glitch, but other times it seems like everything goes wrong.  The sky falls, and it’s a complete disaster.  It’s like our lives have turned into the Bermuda Triangle – everything has gone crazy, and nothing is working.   When we’re in the midst of these situations, it is very trying and difficult.  It can seem that the stars have aligned against us, and there are supernatural forces at work.  Of course, none of that is true.  We’re just going through a difficult situation that, for reasons we can’t explain, just keeps getting worse.  In the midst of the mess, it’s hard to keep going, and it’s hard to remain positive.  But sometimes we have no choice, and no matter how bad it gets, we have to trudge through it.

It’s important to reach out when we’re tormented, and feel beset.  We can ask for help.  Those who care about us want us to be safe, and happy.  They will assist us if we ask.  Sometimes we think we can handle things on our own, or we are embarrassed by the situation, and asking for help is difficult.  But if we try to face everything on our own, and it’s overwhelming, it will be much harder to solve than if we get help from others.  We’re only human, and everyone has been in situations like this.  We can get the help we need, we can get advice, and we can get assistance to navigate whatever we’re going through until we can manage it more effectively.  After things settle down we can learn from the experience and move forward.  Later when someone else is going through something similar we can return the favor and help them.  Our compassion for their situation will be enhanced by the experiences we’ve already faced.

It’s hard to cope when a lot of things go wrong at the same time.  We may find ourselves asking, “Why me?”  It can feel like we’ve been singled out for trouble.  But everyone gets the opportunity to experience these kinds of situations from time to time.  It’s never easy.  It’s never fun.  And it’s rarely expected, but we can navigate it.  It takes courage and patience, but we can handle it.  There really is nothing we will face in this life that we can’t manage.  Nobody wants to go through times like these, but when they come, we can manage them.  We are capable of handling whatever comes to us.  There is nothing that will defeat us.

Today if you are overcome with a situation that has become intense, and complicated, don’t hesitate to ask for help.  Turn to someone you trust.  Those who care about you will help and you’ll be able to get through the situation more comfortably.  You will conquer this, and you will be successful.  When the trial is over, remember how much it meant to have support when you needed it.  And then, do the same for those around you.  Remember, we’re not going through this life alone.  We’re all in this together.  Reach out when you need help, and be there when others need you.

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Spare change?

6 May

Today while driving home from work, I saw a man standing in the median with a sign asking for money. He was on the other side of the road facing away from me, but I’ve seen him before. He has one leg, and stands with a crutch, but you can see his wheelchair across the road. I don’t know what his story is. I don’t know what his problems are. I don’t know anything about him except that he is seeking money.

Everyone has their own ideas about giving to beggars on the street. Some people feel they should help if they can, because they have sufficient for their needs, and they want to share. Others, convinced that the money will not be used for good, look the other way, and refuse to give. Wherever we stand on the issue, we will, from time to time, have the opportunity to evaluate our decision. Every city, every town, everywhere we go, there are unfortunate people who beg for money.

Whether or not to give money to these people is a personal choice. If we decide to give, we are offering a blessing. We are extending our hands to help. We are being charitable. The decision of what happens with the gift after it is given belongs to the person who receives it. If it is used for good – the decision is on them. If it is used for other things – the decision is on them as well. They are accountable for what they do with the gift, not us. We are accountable only for offering the gift. Anytime we are charitable and kind, anytime we offer assistance, anytime we help in any way, we are blessed. Our decision is noble. It is worthy, and it is selfless. And our decision is the only one we answer for.

I keep five dollars in the ashtray of my car to use if the opportunity arises where I may give to someone in need. Since I don’t smoke, the ashtray has been used for nothing else. The money is there, and ready if I feel prompted to help when I see someone asking. Sometimes I get a feeling that it’s not the time, and I wait. Other times, the five dollars is theirs. As it passes hands, I always bless the person and wish them well, and without exception, they return the blessing back to me. Most of the time as I drive away I have to choke back tears, not because I’m sad, but because I realize, again, how much I have.

Today if you see someone seeking help, asking for money, think about where you stand. Remember, the gift, if you offer it, is your blessing to them. What they do from there is their decision. But the blessing remains as a testament to your kindness and charity. And the world certainly needs more of those. If you aren’t the one out on the street begging, no matter what the circumstances are, your life is better than theirs. Don’t forget that.

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The sky is blue, the grass is green.

15 Apr

Some time ago while going through a particularly difficult time in my life, a very good friend told me that when I felt my worst I should take pleasure in the small things. “Go outside,” he said. “Take a walk and feel the breeze on your face. Watch it turn the leaves on the trees. Notice the way the sun feels. Pay attention.” He promised me that if I did that, my spirits would be lifted, and I would feel better.

Honestly, I didn’t believe him. I was really having a hard time, under so much stress. and I felt horrible. How on earth was a walk outside going to help me? But one day, feeling completely defeated, I took his advice, put on my tennis shoes and went outside. I mean, I had nothing to lose. As I began to walk down the lane, I looked around. I paid attention to the little things as he had suggested – the sound of my neighbor’s son riding his bicycle, the smell of a distant barbecue cooking something delicious, the feel of the sun’s rays on my arms, and the freshness of the air. I walked for a while and continued to listen, to feel, and to see, and soon I began to notice I wasn’t so upset. I wasn’t so overwhelmed. He was right – I felt better.

Since that experience I have made it a point to be outside more, especially when I’m feeling pressed. Instead of brooding and worrying, I take a walk, I pay attention, and again notice the small things that bring me comfort. And it helps a lot. But sometimes there isn’t time for a nice walk when I’m feeling low, so I have developed a little mantra that I say to myself when I am overrun or stressed, and can’t get away. I sit for just a moment, close my eyes, take a deep breath, and repeat in my mind, “The sky is blue, the grass is green.” I envision a gorgeous blue sky, and brilliantly green grass, and I imagine the feeling of the breeze on my face. As I sit there for just a moment, I am reminded that there are other things to think about. Somewhere, even if it’s raining where I am, somewhere the sky is blue and the grass is green. The breeze is soft and warm, there are birds singing, and all is not lost. That little mantra has calmed me more times than I can count. It’s just a small reminder that what I’m going through is isolated and will change, and there are better things coming my way.

Today if you’re feeling stressed, if you’re feeling bad, take a moment, just a moment, sit still, close your eyes, take a breath, and think about something that makes you relax, that brings you comfort. Maybe work on developing your own mantra for times when you’re unsettled and need some relief. “The sky is blue, the grass is green.” Yes, it is. And sometimes that’s all it takes.

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Oh please, allow me.

9 Apr

One day while in the parking lot of my local grocery store, I saw a woman in a wheelchair trying to reach the open top window door of her van to close it. She stretched and stretched and could not get it. I went right over and said, “Oh please, allow me,” reached up and closed it for her. She was so appreciative, and thankful, and said I was an angel to help her out. An angel? All I did was close a door. But from her perspective, she was facing something she needed to do, and wasn’t able to accomplish it. Just helping her get it done meant a lot to her. There were several other people in the parking lot that walked right by her, and I wondered why nobody thought to help her. But you know how it is, it’s easy to zone out and get stuck in our own worlds. It’s easy to walk by, and fail to notice someone in need.

I thought about that and determined that I would try to be more observant and see where I could help more often. The next day I made a point everywhere I went to look around and see what I could do to be a positive influence to others in some small way. I helped a lady get one of those annoying plastic bags off the roll at the store, I talked to the cashier before I left and asked how he was doing, I ran ahead and held a door for an elderly lady, and I made a crying child in a shopping cart laugh. These are very insignificant acts of kindness for sure, but each time I got an appreciative smile or thank you, and it was great. I had an amazing day just trying to be helpful. It was amazing. It felt so good!

Did I make a big impact on anyone’s life – no, but it made a huge impact on me. Since that time, I have sincerely tried to pay more attention to those around me and have found that every single day, there are countless opportunities to help out in some small way. Just smiling and saying hello when you pass someone on the street can be a boost for them. Striking up a conversation with a sales clerk who looks stressed can lift their spirits. Being the one to say, “excuse me” when someone bumps into you instead of waiting for them to say so can bring a smile. Waving someone into the parking space you were waiting for, letting someone go in front of you in line because they have less than you, asking a co-worker if they would like a soda when you’re going to get one for yourself, picking up the pen someone dropped before they stoop, sharing your bag of chips, offering to carry something for someone – all small, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness. But it’s amazing what happens when you do them. The people you help out appreciate it, and your heart will be lighter, your spirits will be higher, and you’ll be happier. It doesn’t seem like such a small change could impact us so much, but it does.

Today, try this for yourself. Look around. Be aware. Pay attention. See what you can do. Offer your hand, help out, smile, be gracious when you don’t have to be, and do just a little more. See what happens. In this day and age, we’re all so busy and consumed with what needs to be done next. It’s easy to keep our eyes down, look away, concentrate on our cell phones, and continue on. But look up – look around. Do something to show you care. The investment from you will be small but the returns are large. “Oh please, allow me.” It’s a great attitude.

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