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Exfoliating

29 Jan

As we go through life, each experience gives us something to take forward. We learn something new, or gain a different perspective, or maybe discover something new about ourselves. We collect and hold onto these souvenirs each day and they color who we are and how we act and react. Some of them are beneficial and we use them to help us be our best and get where we want to go. But some of them are painful reminders of where we’ve been. If the memories hurt they may influence our decisions as we continue on, and may keep us from fulfilling our greatest ambitions. But we can choose to let them go. We can take a good look inside ourselves, see where our insecurities lie, look at how we lost our confidence, and we can change. Like exfoliating dead skin cells from the outside, we can remove bad reactions on the inside. We don’t have to hold onto the pain of bad memories any longer than we want to. The memories will always be there but we can scrub the pain away and keep the memory and the lesson learned.

We all experience good things and bad things. When we’ve had a very painful event, one that is etched deeply in our subconscious or something that changed our lives in a big way, it may be hard to overcome. If we’ve been hurt badly and had to learn a difficult lesson, we may hold onto the pain afraid that letting it go will make us forget what we learned. Although lessons are sometimes painful, the pain is not inexorably tied to the lesson. We can go forward with what we’ve learned and leave the pain behind. Holding onto feelings of sadness, betrayal, loss or distrust will not help us move forward. They may hold us in place, and keep us from advancing afraid of what will come if we let go. But letting go is the best we can do. Once we’ve learned all we can, we can set the experience aside, and look to the future.

Fear is a natural response and nature’s way of keeping us from harm. When we feel it, we step a little more carefully and proceed with caution. There is nothing wrong with feeling afraid but it’s important to understand why we’re feeling it. Is it because there is real danger, or is it because we are unsure? Is it because we may be hurt, or because we aren’t positive we won’t be? We carry every experience of our lives with us every day. If we hold onto those that hurt us, we may be less confident, and more fearful. But we don’t need to carry painful experiences any longer than we want to. We can let them go and leave them behind. We are capable of facing anything that comes to us. And we are capable of recovering from any problem or crisis. We just need to be determined in our pursuits, and convinced of our abilities. We have everything we need to be strong and confident, and we can conquer any obstacle placed before us. Letting go of the heavy burden of pain will help.

Today if you’re struggling because of something that has already passed, you can turn around and let it go. You’ve learned all you can from the experience and it has not diminished you. It has made you stronger and more capable. You know more now than you did before and you’ll use that knowledge going forward. You have everything you need now. You can do anything you want. You are strong. Be confident knowing you will succeed. There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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One More Time

19 Jan

The first time we try to do something we really want to accomplish sometimes things don’t work out. We don’t succeed and the path we tried didn’t take us to the goal. When that happens we have to decide how to go forward. We can quit and let the goal go, and determine that it’s too hard or will take too long or any other reason we choose. Or we can try again. If we really want to accomplish the goal we can try a different method, take a different road, or get help from others. It depends on how important it is to us. But every choice we make that takes us off the road to the goal we’re seeking or takes us closer to it is ours. We just have to choose what we want to do. We will do what we want to do most. We can try again or we can let it go. But if we decide to try again one more time, and we reach the destination we’re seeking we will be happy.

Sometimes we all complain about our lot in life. We may be disappointed with the way things have turned out and feel like we should have more. Fortunately, nobody’s life is frozen in time. We have the power to change. We can change our personal situations, our relationships, our location, our jobs, and everything else. There isn’t anything we can’t do and if we aren’t happy with our lives as they are now, we can begin moving in a different direction. When we choose a new path it will be foreign to us, and we may stumble. We might face a detour or even a dead end. But we can try again and adjust our trajectory until we get pointed in the right direction. We can find our way to any destination we choose. We may not get there on the first try, we may get lost on the second try, and we may hit a road block the third time out. But we can always try one more time. We get unlimited chances in this life. There is nothing that can stop us from reaching our goals if we want them badly enough.

If we’ve been trying to go forward for a while and don’t feel like we’ve made any headway, we may feel discouraged. But discouragement is just a distraction and can be eliminated. We are learning as we go. If we haven’t yet succeeded, we’ve learned which ways won’t work and which roads don’t go where we’re headed. That’s valuable information that will help us moving forward. When we know what doesn’t work, we can move forward with what does. Life is full of opportunities for growth and understanding. The more we learn, the smarter we become. If we keep knocking on doors, one will open and lead us closer to our goal. But if we want to succeed we have to keep knocking, we have to keep going, and we have to be willing to try one more time. No matter how many one more times that turns out to be. We can do that. We are resilient and strong enough to accomplish anything.

Today if you’ve been discouraged because you haven’t been able to achieve your goal, try one more time. Choose a different path, or try a different method. You can achieve anything you choose. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Try again, and you’ll get there. The goal is in sight. Look carefully and you’ll see it. Extend yourself and you’ll reach it. You can accomplish anything. Keep going.

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Circles

12 Jan

As we live our lives we have three choices when we think about our progress. We can move forward, we can stay where we are, or we can go backward. Sometimes we’re happy where we are and comfortable, and we don’t need or want the challenge of change. Sometimes we have to go backward to accomplish something that needs to be addressed. But generally we want to move forward in our lives. We have goals we want to achieve and plans for our future. Sometimes we get caught up in a situation that stalls our progress. We can get stuck and end up going around in circles unable to move forward. Sometimes it’s because of a relationship that isn’t working, or a job situation that has us frozen in time, and sometimes it’s because we really aren’t sure how to go forward so we keep repeating the same pattern over and over. Going around in circles is frustrating. Even when we recognize that’s what’s happening we may not know how to stop the process. A circle is just a continually repeating pattern. All we have to do to break the cycle is step a little to the right or the left to change direction. It sounds easy but patterns have a way of taking control, and unless we are determined to make a change, we may find ourselves stuck for a while.

Healthy relationships are active. They are constantly changing and if we’re paying attention to them, can be continually improving. But sometimes relationships can become stagnant, and don’t change, and we may get stuck. If it’s a relationship that’s important to us we may stay in the situation longer than we’re comfortable. However, if we want things to change, we have to speak up and express our concerns. We can ask for what we need to make the relationship move forward and if the other person is in agreement, things may improve. But if we can’t do anything to change the situation we must decide how we want to proceed. For some people, staying on the same course is fine, even if they’re stuck, so long as they have the other person in their lives. For others, if they’re unhappy and things don’t change, it may be necessary to leave the relationship behind. We’re all different and only we can determine what’s best for us.

If we have plans for our future and goals we’re working toward but find that we aren’t getting any closer to them doing what we’ve been doing, we can change. If the road we’ve been on isn’t taking us where we want to go, we can change direction. We can achieve almost anything we want to if we want it badly enough. If we aren’t moving closer to our goal then we’re either moving further away from it, or we’re standing still. Once we determine where we’re headed and what we want, we can adjust our plans and change our course whenever we need to. All the roads are open to us. All the avenues to get there are available. We can pay attention to what we’re doing and modify our plans for success. If one path doesn’t work, we can simply try another. If we stay true to the objective and keep our eyes on the prize, we’ll get there. We don’t have to go around in circles, and we don’t have to be stuck any longer than we want. We have all the power we need to move forward.

Today if you feel like you’ve been treading water and going in circles and you’re no closer to a goal you want to achieve, switch things up. Try something new. Let go of the things that are holding you back and modify your plans so you can move forward. You can do anything. See the destination in front of you and steer yourself toward it. You’ll be successful and everything you are hoping for will come to you.

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Resolutions

31 Dec

At the beginning of a new year, many people make resolutions. This generally involves a determined resolve to stop doing something, or start doing something, or change something in our lives or our behaviors. Sometimes we can be successful when we resolve to instantly change, but often we fail because when it comes to changing ourselves a hard line in the sand is rarely effective. We all have things we want to change from time to time but instead of making a resolution to immediately stop or begin something, it’s often more effective to set a goal rather than expect our decision to create an instantaneous transformation. Goals are positive things we can work toward and we can take action to adopt the desired change one step at a time. Then we can move forward in ways that are comfortable and incorporate change in our lives little by little until it is achieved.

The quickest way to feel overcome and defeated is to expect more from ourselves than we can reasonably deliver. If we want to lose weight, no matter how much it is, it’s not going to happen overnight. If we remember how long it took us to gain it, and then give ourselves at least that long – or longer – to lose it, we’ll have a more positive experience. Behavior traits we want to eliminate take time. It’s unlikely we’ll be able to eliminate them all at once. They are learned patterns we’ve developed and repeated over and over. We can certainly change them, and if we give ourselves the opportunity to do that one step at a time we’ll be successful. For instance, if we use swear words and want to eliminate them from our speech, we can. But odds are that because they are a customary part of our daily vernacular, they will pop out from time to time. If we decide to be aware when we say them, and then try again to eliminate them each time we slip, over time we’ll be successful.

Learning to be patient with ourselves as we try to change is imperative. Impatience will not help us get to the goal any more quickly. We can give ourselves space and time to learn the new patterns and adopt whatever change we are seeking. We can be our own best friends and show the patience and support a best friend would offer. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can accomplish any goal we set, we can change any behavior we choose, and we can go forward any way that’s best for us. Setting goals and then working toward them one step at a time will ensure success. Nothing can stop us if we keep our eyes on the prize. Being reasonable with our expectations, giving ourselves the time we need to correct our course, and exercising patience as we change will help.

Today if you’ve decided it’s time to make some changes set the first goal toward getting there. By taking it one step at a time you’ll reach every objective you seek. There is plenty of time to accomplish whatever you want to do, and get to wherever you want to go. Take the first step today, and each day forward take another one. Before you know it you’ll reach the target and be successful. You have everything you need to do this. Today is a good time to start.

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When We’re Ready

23 Dec

When we’re hoping for a change in our lives and working to make it happen, it’s frustrating when it eludes us.  When we want something badly it’s hard to wait.  We can try and try to make something happen, but sometimes no matter what we do we remain stuck and nothing changes.  And so we continue to do the other things in our lives that take our attention.  We learn new things and have more experiences moving forward, and after some time passes what we are trying so hard to achieve arrives.  The thing about life is that so often things don’t come to us exactly when we want them, but when we’re ready for them, which isn’t always the same time.  If we’re impatient, waiting is difficult, especially if what we we’re hoping for is something we want very badly and feel we deserve.  But impatience can’t rush anything.  It only makes the wait harder to endure.  Therefore, trying to practice more patience can only help us as we go forward.  It seems counter intuitive that we must exercise patience to become more patient, but that’s how it is.  We can do everything we can to initiate a change, but until we’re ready for it, it probably won’t come.  The trick is to be ready.

Once we’ve identified something we want to change in our lives, if it’s far reaching and requires us to alter our lifestyle or routine, we first need to make that happen to facilitate the change we’re seeking.  If we want to become a doctor, we need to plan and prepare to go to medical school.  If we want to become more social, we need to plan to attend more functions where we can meet others.  We’ll never be ready for any change without the proper preparation.  It seems easy when we first start thinking about it – we’ll just do what’s required.  But when it comes time to implement the alterations, to attend school, to study, to actually go out to the events we need to, sometimes uncertainty creeps in.  An established routine, even one we aren’t happy with, has a degree of security and predictability that makes it comfortable.  We’re familiar with it, we know how it works, and we know what to expect.  When we shake that up, we might find that taking the first step is the hardest.  We don’t really know where it will take us or how we’ll react.  But if we are brave enough to start we often find we are certainly capable of continuing, and because the first step takes us closer to where we want to be, it will bring satisfaction.

The road to change isn’t always easy or quick.  Sometimes what we’re trying to do turns out to be more difficult than we first thought.  And sometimes after we start the new path and look ahead, we see it will take longer than we realized.  But if the goal is something we want, there isn’t anything that can stop us unless we quit.  If we decide it’s too hard or will take too long, we can certainly stop and return to our old patterns.  But if we do that, it means we aren’t ready for the change after all.  And the goal will not be realized until we are.  If we really want to do something, no matter what it is, we can do it.  We just need to keep taking one step forward.  We don’t have to do it in a hurry, and we can take it one day at a time.  There isn’t anything we can’t do.  We can prepare ourselves, and we can be ready.  And when we are, we’ll succeed.

Today if you’ve been wanting a change in your life but aren’t sure you can manage it, remember there is nothing you can’t do.  Every single step will take you closer to your goal, and you can succeed.  Think about where you want to be, and plan to move closer to it no matter what.  If you’re ready, nothing will stop you.  And you can be ready now.  Take the first step today.  Tomorrow take another.  Keep going forward and the goal will come to you.

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