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Being There

22 Mar

The world is a big place and there are billions of people inhabiting it. Whether we live in huge cities or small towns, in the country or suburbia, we are all here together. Everything we do, every decision we make affects our lives in some ways, and may also have an impact on others around us. We can try to isolate ourselves if we want to be alone, but it’s not always easy unless we lock ourselves up at home and don’t venture out. No matter what we do, we’re connected to those around us. We pass them, see them, engage with them, and make an impression about who we are. Although it’s good to be independent, we all need each other and depend on each other in countless ways. The level of that reliance depends on our relationship. Every relationship has an unspoken understanding that we’ll be available at some level. If we are strangers passing on the street that involvement will be minimal. If we are friends it increases. When we love each other that reliance will be great. We need to be available to those who love us – both emotionally and physically. We need to answer when they call, and respond when they need us. It’s an integral part of our relationship and if we neglect it, the trust we share will diminish and over time we may lose everything. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship if one party isn’t available. If we want to be close to anyone, we have to be there for them.

We always do what we want to do most. That’s a truth we all share. We can say we couldn’t make a commitment because we got busy, or we didn’t make an appointment because our schedules got out of control, or we had a conflict, or anything else. While all our excuses may be true, the fact is we decide how we spend our time. The reasons we give for not showing or being available won’t always repair what has been lost. The simple truth is if something is really important to us, we’ll be there for it. If it’s not important, any excuse will do. When we have a relationship of any sort, if we want to keep it, we have to commit to it. And that means we have to be there and available.

When we make commitments and then don’t show, we are often valuing other things as more important. Sometimes we really do want to do something but our lives won’t allow it at this time. We all have real complications and sometimes things don’t work out. If that’s the case we need to re-evaluate the commitments we’re making. However, often when we don’t follow through it’s not because it’s impossible, but that we’ve chosen to do other things instead. We all get to choose how we spend our time. We are in control of our lives and can live them any way we like. We always do what we want to do most. Every person in our lives knows this and our actions clearly communicate it. If we really want successful relationships, they must be valued and protected. We can do that by being available and making them a priority.

Today if you haven’t been available to those who care about you or depend on you, remember your relationships are valuable and worth your time. It’s good to build strong bonds with those around you and you can do that by being there for them. You are very important, and so are they. Show them you care by showing up and being there. They will draw closer to you and your connection will deepen. We all need each other and we need you. Be there. The closeness you’ll develop will be well worth it.

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Hopeless

5 Mar

There are times in everyone’s life when we’ve wanted something badly and no matter what we’ve done or how we’ve tried, haven’t been able to achieve it. Maybe it’s taken a long time – years even – and still we feel no closer to the goal than when we started. We think about giving up but we want the dream and can’t imagine not succeeding. And so we continue. If we reach a point where we feel hopeless that we’ll ever get to the end of the road, we can feel like we’ve failed. But if we don’t want to stop trying, we can think about the situation a little differently. If we feel hopeless, we may need to stop for a moment and look at the situation objectively, and think about what we really want going forward. If we feel we’ve given all we can and need to stop pushing for now, we can do that. We can take a break from the struggle. We can rethink how we want to go forward. If we want to, we can decide to set the goal aside for a time and revisit it later when our perspective is fresh, and our lives are in a different place. Sometimes it’s all about timing. If we stop for a while, and do other things we may find a new way that will move us forward.

When we’re pushing hard for something, sometimes we lose our focus on everything else around us. We can no longer see the forest for all the trees in our way. It’s easy to get tunnel vision when we want something badly but seeing only the goal we’re seeking can keep us from seeing things around us that can move us closer to it. There may be someone standing right next to us with the answers we need but if we’re only looking ahead and not paying attention, they may walk right past us without us saying a word. There is nothing wrong with focusing on a goal, and we need to keep our eyes on where we want to go if we hope to get there. But while we’re looking forward, it’s important to look around as well. There are answers all around us. If we look up from time to time and engage those near us we may find exactly what we’re seeking.

It’s hard to be patient when we want something very badly. It’s hard to wait, and search, and press forward every day. After a time all the struggle and striving can take its toll on us. If we remember why we want to get to the goal and what it will mean to us when we achieve it, we can endure whatever comes. As we move forward we’re learning new things, and finding our way. If we need to, we can take time out to regroup, restore, or rethink. We don’t have to accomplish everything at once. We can get there taking it one step at a time. If we need to step away for a while, we can. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and sometimes a little distance can open our eyes to new direction. If we want to keep pressing forward, we can do that too. It’s all up to us and we can do whatever works best. Everyone does things their own way and whatever works best for us is perfect. It doesn’t matter if it looks different than someone else’s model, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. The important thing is doing what we want to do most.

Today if you’ve been working hard to achieve something and you feel overwhelmed or hopeless because you haven’t gotten to the goal, perhaps it’s time to take a break. You’ve come a long way already, and if you step back your vision may clear. When you start again you won’t have lost any ground. You have everything you need to win. You know what you want. You have more courage than you realize. There is nothing that will prevent you from succeeding. Nothing will stop you.

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Unbelievable

26 Oct

When we make plans with others and decide to meet somewhere, we expect them to show up.  When we work on a project and someone commits to doing something, we expect them to follow through.  We plan our lives around our commitments and the promises of others.  But sometimes things don’t go the way we plan.  Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t keep their word, their promise, or their commitment to do something or be somewhere.  If it’s inconsequential and doesn’t impact our lives very much, we may overlook it.  But if they continually fail to follow through, we learn we can’t believe them.  If we can’t trust them to keep their word we may decide not to be in a position where we have to rely on them.  Being unbelievable is detrimental to our progress.  If we let that happen, we’ll lose the trust of those around us, and trust once lost, is difficult to rebuild.

We always have the option of saying no when we’re asked to do something.  If we don’t think we can follow through, instead of saying we will, we should decline.  Even if the other person is insistent, if we aren’t sure we can do it, we should not commit.  It’s far better to be truthful about our circumstances than to agree to something we’re doubtful we can fulfill.  If we say we’ll do something, it needs to happen.  If we say we’ll be somewhere, we need to show.  Of course, sometimes complications arise and we aren’t able to follow through, but that shouldn’t happen continually.  If we drop the ball again and again, and fail to keep our word, and are not believable, people will learn not to ask us to join in.  In the long run we may lose valuable opportunities.

People can change and we can restore our credibility if we’ve lost it, but it will take time and unrelenting diligence.  We must commit to following through on our word no matter what.  We have to show up without exception, always do what we said we would, and never break our word going forward.  When we first decide to change our course and become reliable, those who’ve dealt with us in the past may not believe us.  It takes time to restore trust that’s been broken and it takes time to change our image.  But if it’s important to us, if we want to be trustworthy and believable, we can do it.  Each time we keep our word we’ll get closer to where we want to be.  If we are careful and follow through every time, eventually we’ll restore our image, and people will believe we are trustworthy.  We will become believable and reliable.

Today if you realize you’ve broken promises and neglected to follow through on your word in the past, but now want to change your behavior, commit to doing whatever it takes to correct your course.  Do everything needed to keep your promises, and be where you agreed to be or do what you said you’d do.  Make sure you don’t commit to anything you aren’t sure you can accomplish, and then keep every commitment.  You know what needs to be done.  Turn the tide in your favor today and keep it flowing your way.  Others want to trust you.  Give them a good reason to do it.

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Tapping Potential

25 Oct

To collect the sap from maple trees, a spike with a spout is hammered into the trees in early spring. The sap flows from the trees into buckets or lines attached to the spouts. Some days a lot of sap flows and other days it slows down. Although the flows are unpredictable, without the spike, no sap can be collected. Although we aren’t maple trees and don’t have sap, we do have potential we can tap into. Sometimes we need an event – a spike if you will – to realize the potential, and other times we can tap into it on our own. We all have untapped potential waiting to be realized. We can do anything. Our internal potential is a reflection of our unrealized expectations. When we don’t fulfill our expectations and make our potential progress a reality, it sits, dormant. If we want to live our lives to the fullest and be the very best we can be, we need to consider our possibilities, and then do everything we can to fulfill them.

Living a life of mediocrity can be comfortable. It’s like taking a lukewarm bath. The water isn’t hot enough to soothe tired muscles, and it isn’t cold enough to make us shiver. It’s the same temperature as the air around us, and we can hardly feel it when we step in. Mediocrity is the same way. It doesn’t take a lot of effort, it’s easy to accomplish, and we are hardly bothered or inconvenienced. But a mediocre existence is a life half realized. When we keep everything even and safe, when we take no chances, when we stretch no further than we can reach, we end up with a simple, predictable life. Some people prefer living this way, but when we do, we miss out on the tremendous growth we can make, and the amazing things we can do. Lukewarm means to be indifferent, which means to be apathetic and unconcerned. There are many things we need not be concerned about, but the way we live our lives shouldn’t be one of them.

Imagine what our lives could be like if every day we determined to be the very best person we could be. If we decided to stretch, give, learn, and grow a little more than was comfortable. Imagine the mountains we would climb and the challenges we could conquer. We don’t have to do everything at once, and we can change one small thing at a time. Life is not a race, but it is certainly a journey. Any successful journey needs a destination and a plan. If we want to have a rich, fulfilling life, filled with experiences that will renew and excite us, we need to decide on a destination of personal fulfillment. We can decide to live each day to the fullest and plan our actions accordingly. This life is a gift. Every single day is a blessing. We can waste them, skate through them, and ignore them, or we can face each one with an open mind and an open heart, determined not to lose one moment.

Today if you’ve been going through the motions, just getting through, think about tapping into your highest potential. Decide to stretch and push a little further. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll accomplish. You’ll grow more than you can imagine and gain confidence and grace. You have everything you need to live your life fully and completely. Don’t let another moment go by without embracing it. This is your life. Fill it up with everything you’ve been hoping for, and soon your dreams will become your reality.

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Good Intentions

28 Sep

There are lots of things we can do for others.  We can help in small ways to let them know we care, we can help with special projects, and we can be there when they need us.  In our busy lives though, there are times we may commit to something, and even plan on doing it, but time gets away from us or we get distracted, and it doesn’t happen.  If we drop the ball once in a while it’s generally not a problem, but if it becomes a consistent behavior trait, we may find we lose the trust of those around us.  Good intentions are nice, but if we don’t follow through they don’t mean anything.  There is an old saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  Perhaps we won’t actually go to hell if we drop the ball, but it certainly won’t work in our favor.

We all have a lot to offer those around us.  Most of us want to be good friends and family members, and try to be there when the need arises.  We make promises to help and most of the time we follow through, but if something comes up and we miss the commitment, it’s important that we apologize.  Most people are forgiving when plans don’t work out and they’ll trust us again if we fail to show once.  But we need to be careful we don’t make promises we can’t keep.  If we say we’re going to be there and don’t show again and again, we will damage our relationships.  There is no way to prevent the loss of trust if we keep letting others down.  Trust is something we earn, and if we drop the ball and lose that trust, it can be hard to restore.

We can get caught up in situations when we’re asked to do something or be somewhere that will be difficult for us.  If the person requesting our help is adamant in their need, we may agree to be there even if we’re not sure we can.  The pressure to go along with an idea can be intense, and some people can be very persuasive.  But even if they are insistent, it’s up to us to make the best decisions possible.  If the situation is such that we aren’t sure we can follow through, we need to express that.  It’s important to state our concerns about the request, and clearly explain that we aren’t sure we can be available.  Keeping our promises is important, and if we aren’t sure we can, we need to say so.  It would be great if we could all do everything we’re asked to but that isn’t generally possible.  And so it’s up to us to define when we can and when we can’t.  We can be confident in making the commitments we’re sure of, and we can be just as confident in declining requests we can’t fulfill.

Today if you’re being asked to do something you can help with, commit your time and make sure you follow through.  If you can’t do it, be confident in declining the request.  It doesn’t mean you don’t want to help, and you will assist another time.  Have the best intentions by being clear about your ability to commit.  You are in control of your life and you know what you can do.  Keep the trust of those around you by being honest and careful in making your decisions.  A trustworthy friend is a valuable asset.  Be that person to those around you.

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