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Coming Up Short

25 Aug

We all want to feel strong and confident, and able to face whatever comes our way. We try hard, we work hard, and we hope we have what it takes no matter what comes. Nobody likes feeling impotent and weak, but none of us is perfect and there are going to be times when we will feel overwhelmed, and unable to cope. We tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others. We expect to be able to do whatever is needed, when it’s needed, and do it effectively and well. When we can’t accomplish that, we might feel bad, and we may think we’ve failed.

We all have shortcomings. We have some things we do well, some things we do very well, and some things that trip us up. Nobody is good at everything. We want to do everything well, but sometimes that’s not possible. So we have to learn to be patient and understand we all have weaknesses. We can learn, we can grow, and we can develop new skills that will help us move forward. We are able to change anything we want. But while we’re learning something new, we need to accept that it’s not going to happen overnight. It will take time, and generally it takes more time than we want.

Accepting ourselves as we are is important. Where we are is fine for today. But we aren’t frozen in time, and we aren’t stuck with the patterns we have. We can move forward, and we can change to become anything we want to be. If we’re not happy with a facet of our personality, we can change it. We can work on it and practice a new behavior until it becomes second nature, and part of who we are. It takes focus and time, but nothing is impossible if we want it enough. We have to be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and we aren’t going to change in one either.

Today if you’re disappointed with where you are, if you want more, or if you want to be different in some way, begin doing what is needed to change. You are capable of doing anything you want. You can be happy, you can feel confident, and you can be strong. You have all the tools you need. You are capable of great things. Set the goal and start walking toward it. Before you know it you’ll be where you want to be. This is your life. You are the artist and you can design it any way you want. Whatever you design will be perfect for you.

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Same and Different

19 Aug

When we’re headed out to a vacation we’re excited about, everything feels good.  No matter how we’re traveling to get there, we’re content because the destination is something we’re looking forward to.  The cramped seat on the plane is fine, and the long road trip seems to fly by.  We’re happy anticipating the great time we’re going to have, and no matter what we go through to get there, we handle it with patience.  We’re smiling and happy.  Nothing can dampen our spirits, and when we arrive we’re excited.  Vacations are great for renewing our spirits, and recharging our batteries.  It’s fun to look forward to them, and a blast when we’re in them.

After our vacation time ends, and it’s time to head back home we sometimes have a different experience on the return trip.  Even though the distance coming back is exactly the same as the distance we traveled to get to our vacation, it seems longer.  The seat on the plane feels uncomfortable, the flight seems to last forever, and we may be tired and cranky.  If we’re in a car and have a long drive ahead of us, we may dread the interminable miles, the gas station stops, and the boredom of the road.  The trip home is merely the reverse of the trip out.  The distance is no longer and no farther away, but instead of being happy and excited as the miles fly by, we may just be grinding through it.

The two trips – going and coming back – are basically the same.  But our perception is completely different, and that difference changes how we react.  It’s the same with our experiences in life.  When we’re involved with something new we want to do, we feel energized and happy.  But when we’re in the same routine day after day, we may feel uninspired or bored.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Every single day has within it opportunities to learn new things, meet new people, and do different activities.  It’s always rewarding to break away from the norm and do different things, and we can do that every day if we decide to.  It doesn’t have to be a formal vacation to make us excited and happy, although those are great.  We can be excited and happy in our daily lives as well.  It’s all about our perspective.  If we see each day as a beginning and a time to try something new, we can make our lives fun and exciting.  We can be excited every day at the prospect of opening new challenges, going through new doors, and experiencing new ideas.

Today, if you’re feeling like your life has become too predictable and you yearn for more fun and excitement, change things up.  Do something new.  Try something you’ve been thinking about, and plan a little vacation from your routine.  Break away from the norm.  You’ll feel more energized, and you’ll have more fun if you do.  There are countless opportunities available to you.  Find the fun and excitement of trying them.  Today is your gift to yourself.  Explore, reach out, expand, and have a blast.  There’s no time like the present to start having fun.

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New Shoes

18 Aug

We go through a lot of changes in our lives as the years fly by. Some of them are small and easy to navigate, and some of them impact us in deeper ways. If we’ve lost a loved one, had a dramatic shift in our career, or had to adjust to a big lifestyle change, it may take us a long time to adjust to our new reality. Like wearing new shoes that pinch, we know that eventually everything will stretch and we’ll feel better, but as we’re going through the adjustment, it’s difficult. We may feel lost, and out of our element. We may need support, and even then it may take a while before we regain our footing.

Change is normal, and happens every day. But practicing with small things doesn’t necessarily mean that when big changes come we are ready for them. Sometimes we’re surprised and shocked by a new development, but even if we know something is coming, it may still be hard to navigate. We get used to our lives going a certain way, and feel comfortable. When a ringer is thrown into the mix and everything is shaken up, it’s hard to figure things out right away. Sometimes it’s hard to understand what to do, and how to go forward.

They say that time heals all wounds, and in some ways that’s true. If we give ourselves time to adjust, time to find a new way through, and time to find our path, it will help. When we are facing big adjustments, we don’t need to rush. We need to give ourselves space, time, and patience. There are feelings and emotions involved we need to work out. Sometimes there are physical things that must be explored and defined. It’s like a pendulum – if the change is small, the adjustment is short, and if the change is big, the adjustment takes longer. The greater the change, the more time we’ll need. It’s important to give ourselves all the time it takes. Just like stretching out a new pair of shoes, it doesn’t happen the first time we wear them. We have to work on them little by little.

Today if you’re trying to adjust to a big change in your life, take your time. Give yourself patience, and room to figure things out. There is no need to rush. You will find your footing again, and you will know how to go forward. Give yourself the space you need. You will conquer this, and you will find comfort. One step at time is all you need to do. One step at a time and you’ll get there.

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Finding Peace

4 Aug

There are a lot of ups and downs in life. Sometimes it goes easily, and sometimes not. When we’re disappointed about the way things are going, we can find ourselves unsettled, and upset. If we’re unhappy with where we are, or what’s happening, and we desperately want something to change, it’s hard to find peace. Although we may want a change, there are times when we have no control over the issue. Nothing we can do will move it along or transform it. At times like those, it’s hard to be comfortable. We may feel impatient, and frustrated. But sometimes we have to endure things as they are, even if they aren’t the way we want, or need them to be. Eventually things may improve but until then we’re stuck. And we aren’t happy.

There is a lot we can change about our lives if we want to. We have control over what we do, and how we react. But we don’t have any control over the decisions of others. Unfortunately when someone in our circle makes a bad decision, or a decision we don’t like, and it affects us negatively, it’s hard to accept. We may fight against it. We may argue and disagree. But in the end, the only decisions we can control are our own. And sometimes that means we have to take what comes, even if it’s not what we want.

It’s helpful to remember that acceptance can bring peace. We don’t have to like a decision that’s hurting us or making us uncomfortable, but we can understand that it’s been made and we can’t change it. If we can’t change things, we have to accept them as they are. It may take time to get to acceptance, and we may have to overcome anger and disappointment, but once we decide to let it happen, we can relax, and let the stress go. We can find a way around the problem, and we can move forward. Acceptance will bring us peace – not always happiness, but peace. And peace is important in our lives.

Today if you’re struggling with something that is making you uncomfortable and you don’t have the power to change it, work on accepting the situation as it is.  Let it go, let yourself relax, and find peace. You deserve a happy and peaceful life. Acceptance will help you find it. Take a breath. Let go. And then move forward.

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All or Nothing

28 Jul

Most of the things we do in our lives require flexibility. Generally there isn’t much that is written in stone, and we compromise a lot. Despite that, we can get stuck in an “all or nothing” mentality. We can get lost in trying to make things exactly like we want them before we commit, and move forward. There are some things that draw a hard line. For instance we may not allow someone to be hurt physically, we may require fidelity in our intimate relationships, or there may be some personal requirements we must have. But mostly, we need to compromise. Most things won’t be exactly the way we’d like them. There will be some give and take. A pattern of requiring perfection in our ideas, or needing things precisely the way we think they should be before we act can work against us.

Living with an “all or nothing” attitude can prevent us from participating, and keep us from fun and valuable experiences. If we decide to wait on every decision until things are lined up our way, the opportunity to participate may pass. Rarely will the timing for everything be perfect, the plans exactly as we want them, or the situation ideal in every way. If we wait for those things to happen before we move forward, we may find ourselves stuck.

This attitude affects our personal relationships, as well as our routine activities. No relationship is without disharmony from time to time. People disagree and agree, they argue and they get along, and there is tension occasionally. If we decide a relationship has to be completely perfect or we won’t have it, we will, in all probability, find ourselves alone. People don’t operate that way. Life doesn’t work that way. Perfection is, in most situations, unattainable.  It’s great to have a goal to be the best we can be, but the expectation of everything going without a curve or bump is unrealistic. And it’s self-defeating. Life is a wonderful gift. And the real perfection comes when we realize how wonderful it is – warts and all.

Today if you’ve been struggling with trying to make things absolutely perfect before you go forward, think about it from another perspective. If everything were perfect all the time there would be no reason to grow. We would have no reason to learn. Accept the bumps as they come along. Navigate them, and go right over them. You are capable of handling any complication that comes your way. No matter how things go, you’ll figure them out. Don’t wait for perfection. You don’t need it to move forward.

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