Archive | February, 2016

Connections

17 Feb

We all love our electronic devices when they’re working as designed to. But sometimes they have problems and often the problem has to do with a connection of some sort. Maybe there is intermittent access at our location or we can’t get a signal to latch onto. If the connections for our devices are poor, they will not work well for us. The same can be true of our lives. We work best when we have good connections. If we have others around us willing to help us, support us, and befriend us, life is inherently easier. There are lots of people around us every day but we don’t connect to everyone in the same way. We build relationships with some, and are passing acquaintances with others. But every connection we make can be beneficial in some way. It’s nice to have friends to rely on, people who care about us and support us in our endeavors. But how do we build good, strong connections? How can we make sure our network is working when we need it?

We’re all unique in many ways but we’re all drawn to those we feel we can trust, and who extend themselves to us. We’re attracted to those who are warm and inviting, who seem genuinely interested in us, and who always seem willing to listen. Even when we meet someone new, if they are open and engaging, they will pull us in. It’s in our nature as human beings to want to connect with others. When we are near those who welcome us, listen to us, and are supportive and kind, we feel a connection. It’s a natural response to positive behavior. We all feel it and unless we’re determined not to get close to anyone, it’s almost impossible to resist. We want to feel connected, we want to feel part of the group, and we want to be accepted. When we’re around others that make us feel that way, we naturally draw close to them and want to build a relationship with them.

This life can be complicated and sometimes things go wrong. When they do we may feel angry or upset and need solitude to work things out. During times like those we may not care about building connections or even welcoming anyone into our lives. But eventually we may want to reconnect with those around us for advice and support. If we have a network of friends and associates who know us, who care about us, and who want only what’s best for us, we can turn to them for help and counsel. But we can’t have that network if we don’t let people in. We can’t expect to have people close to us if we’ve kept them away and resisted building relationships with them. It doesn’t take a lot of time to make connections with others, but it does take effort. Just like we’re drawn to those who are kind and welcoming, we’ll pull others close by being the same way. We have to be willing to open our lives a little, let people near us and be as supportive to them and we want them to be to us. We’re all in this together. We can either take this walk alone and face our dragons all by ourselves, or bring others along with us and share our struggles together. Two is always stronger than one. And as we navigate our days, any extra strength we can expand is well worth our effort.

Today if you’ve been keeping yourself apart and trying to do everything alone, reach out. There are lots of people around you who want to share your life. Let them in. Love them and support them, and be there when they need you. The time will come when they will return the favor back to you and their connections to you will be priceless. Reach out and make a friend. You have so much to give. Share it and the blessing will return to you ten times over.

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Lost at Sea

16 Feb

As we go through our lives we try to do things right. Nobody wants to make a mistake on purpose so at each step we try to make choices that will take us where we want to go. But sometimes along the way we get lost. Maybe we took a turn we thought would lead us somewhere and it took us completely the wrong way. Maybe we got confused about the direction we were headed and fell off a cliff. Getting lost is frustrating and sometimes even frightening. Imagine we are lost at sea in the middle of the day and have no compass or visible landmarks. It’s disorienting and trying to figure out which way to go can be baffling. But getting lost does bring blessings. In the end, it’s all part of finding our way. When we’re trying to accomplish something we’ve never done before or looking for a new destination, getting lost may happen. But it’s not always a bad thing to lose our way and get confused. Sometimes when we’re stuck and nothing is working, we have the chance to clarify exactly what we want, and our true strengths come forward. We never really know who we are until things go wrong. We find out how strong we are when we have to endure, and how smart we are when we make a mistake and have to figure things out. Getting lost is all part of the process of finding ourselves. Nobody gets a paved road in this life. We all have to find our way step by step. And although we want everything to go smoothly, we actually learn more when it doesn’t.

Having an easy life where everything is handed to us seems like a great idea. We wouldn’t have to work hard, we wouldn’t have to struggle finding answers, there would be no confusion, and everything would work out without any effort. But if we didn’t have to work hard, we would never learn to be strong. If we didn’t have to find answers, we wouldn’t learn how to reason. And if we never had to put forth any effort, there would be little value in the things we acquire. When we work hard for something that confounds us and makes us push ourselves, it’s very valuable once we succeed. We know how hard it was to get through and we treasure the outcome. The harder we have to work for something, the more valuable it becomes.  The old saying, “Easy come, easy go,” is true. If we can get something for nothing or little effort, we can easily let it go. It won’t mean much because it didn’t cost us much to gain it.

What we do with our lives matters because what we do makes us who we are. It’s important to decide what we’ll work hard for, what we’ll strive for, and how we determine to succeed. If we want to be capable of greatness we have to be willing to face the possibility of great struggle. If we want to be honorable we have to be willing to make difficult decisions that bring us honor. If we want to be truly honest in all our dealings, we have to be willing to choose the right every time even if it means we lose something else. We can be anything we want to be. If we want to be the very best we can be, we must be willing to do what it takes to get there. That may mean being brave enough to take a new path even if nobody will go with us, and strong enough to believe we’ll succeed even when we get lost. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of achieving anything is this life. If we are determined there is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve gotten lost trying to find you way, and you’re confused about which way to turn, think about what you really want. Then look around and the way will open up to you. Getting lost isn’t the end of the journey. You have everything you need to succeed and get anywhere you want to be. Correct your course and start again. You will find your way.

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Perfection

13 Feb

Today’s personal standards tend to be very high. It seems we’re expected to look our best all the time, be friendly and intelligent in every situation, and strive to live a high standard of living. It’s not enough for us to be normal people – more and more it seems we’re expected to be super people who never tire, never get grumpy, and are always ready for the next challenge. Of course those messages are false and unattainable. The problem is although we know it’s impossible, sometimes we buy into them and think we should meet the expectations. We might even think we need to be perfect. But what does it mean to be perfect? Is it a reflection of society’s idea of perfect, our family’s idea of it, our friends’ impressions of it, or can we decide? Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of what perfection is, and the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is the one we choose. It may be very different from person to person. But when we are striving to be our best, our standards are the only ones that count. We don’t have to be tall, or thin, or genius, or rich. We can be what we determine is best for us. It’s fine to strive for perfection as long as we define what that looks like.

The world is filled with differences. Everywhere we look there are all kinds of people, no two exactly the same. We don’t look alike, we don’t dress alike, we don’t act the same way, we don’t even speak the same language. There is no way to measure one against the other and there can’t possibly be one version that is better than another. Each has it’s own assets and draw backs. That being the case, there is no way to define what a perfect person should be. If we try to measure ourselves against others, and their expectations, we may come up short. Someone will always be more talented, more beautiful, more gifted, or more wealthy. If we want to reach personal perfection, we can do it in our own unique way.

There is often pressure to conform and be like those around us. It can seem easier if we fit in and mimic the patterns and lifestyles of those we associate with. But if we do everything the way someone else is doing it, there is no room for us to do it our way. We are experts in being ourselves. Nobody knows us like we do. We know what makes us happy, what makes us mad, and who we really are. What’s unique about us is what’s perfect. We don’t have to fit somebody else’s mold, and we don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not. Just being who we are, striving for what’s important to us, going after the goals we want to achieve, and being completely authentic is perfect. Every one has a special gift to share with the world that nobody else can bring. If we remember that when there is pressure to conform, we’ll have the courage to be uniquely ourselves. We can do what we want, dress the way we like, and live our lives our way. And when we do, we’ll be perfect.

Today you don’t have to try to make yourself into something you aren’t in order to fit in. There is nobody else like you in the whole world. You are a blessing to us all just as you are. Be uniquely you and show us how wonderful that is. It’ll be the very best you can do. In fact, it’ll be perfect.

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Recess

12 Feb

When we were children in school, and the day was marching along from one subject to another, the best part of the day for most of us was recess. It was a break from sitting still and listening, from answering questions, and trying to be quiet. We got to run outside in the fresh air, laugh and play with friends, make noise and move around as much as we wanted. When it was over and time to return to our classrooms, we felt refreshed and all the extra energy building up inside us was released. It was like a reset button to get us going again. As adults we may have forgotten about recess, but it’s still an effective way for us to refresh ourselves and get a little release from the stress and pressure of our everyday tasks. We can incorporate a little recess into our daily routines, go outside, take a walk, get something to drink or a snack, and enjoy a change of scenery. It need not take long to be effective. Just a few minutes away from our routine can refresh us and give us a boost. Even though we’re well past elementary school, recess can still have a place in our lives. If we take it every day, plan for it and enjoy it, it can be a valuable asset we give to ourselves. It can bring us new perspective and fresh ideas. Just like when we were kids, recess may reset our day and make us feel better.

Going outside for a short break of fresh air has all kinds of benefits. Some studies show that when we go outdoors, we have increased energy and a heightened sense of well-being. Stress can cause an elevation in blood pressure and heart rate, and increase muscle tension. Additionally it may suppress our immune systems and makes us more susceptible to illness and infection. Being outside, even for a short time, may reduce stress, making us feel better emotionally and physically. With all we have to do and the stress attached to it, taking a short recess may bring us all those benefits.

When we’re bogged down in the weeds of everything we’re trying to accomplish, sometimes we can only see what’s right in front of us. If we are intensely focused on our work we may not even look up for hours on end. Stopping for a few minutes and taking a break to go outside and take a short walk, and get a change in scenery can do wonders for our creative processes. We see things differently and even a few minutes away can make us think of things in a different way. New ideas may emerge and when we return, we may find we have answers to problems that before had confounded us. A short recess may recharge us and help us to move forward. It’s something that’s easy to forget but if we schedule it, and make time for it, it can have long range benefits. We don’t have to work constantly and if we take a short break from time to time, just to let our minds wander and look at something new, we might find our days moving forward more easily and with less effort. Recess was a great idea when we were children. It’s a great idea for us as adults too. We can take it, enjoy it, and make the most of it, and it will reduce stress, and increase our happiness.

Today if you’ve been working hard on something that has your complete attention, look up and take a break. Go outside and enjoy a short walk. Look around and let your mind wander. You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you’ll feel and when you return to your work, everything will be just a little easier. You do so much. You deserve to be comfortable and enjoy yourself. Take recess today.  You’ll love it!

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Eating an Elephant

11 Feb

There are times in all of our lives when we have a lot to do, things are complicated, and we’re under stress. A hundred things could be happening, and we may find ourselves struggling to keep up and manage it all. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at times like these and we may think we can’t handle it. When there’s a lot going on and a lot expected of us, we can feel like we’re chasing a train. There is no way to catch it but it can seem we’re expected to anyway. It’s hard to navigate everything when there’s a lot happening, but we can manage it more effectively if we step back and take it one step at a time. If we do the first step, and then the next, one after the other we’ll manage everything and get to the finish line. We don’t have to look ahead and try to do all that must be done going forward. It’s enough to tackle what must be done today. We can keep the long range goal in our sites, but if we focus only on what we must accomplish today, we will more effectively move forward. Stress can make it hard to think and see things clearly. Taking one day at a time will help alleviate that. Perhaps you’ve heard the old question, “How do you eat an elephant?” We all know the answer – one bite at a time. The same is true when we have a lot weighing on us. We can accomplish it by taking it one bite at a time.

There are many facets to our lives and at times it seems every one of them is pressing for our attention. Perhaps our families have special needs, and our projects at work are intense, and the car needs servicing, and we have to get supplies for the neighborhood party, and we forgot we promised to help a friend with a repair, and a dozen other things. Each task is easy to complete on its own, but when they are all jumbled together we can feel buried alive with no air to breathe. But each task, no matter how pressing, can be managed. If we take a few moments and make a plan, and determine how much we can accomplish today and what we can postpone until tomorrow, we will succeed. We are perfectly capable of managing our lives, no matter how complicated they become. We have the key to un-complicate them. We just need to take care of today. Tomorrow we’ll do tomorrow. And the next day we’ll manage that day. If we take it one step at at time, we’ll succeed in getting everything completed.

In this day and age it seems there are more expectations on us than ever before. There is always something more others want from us. But we are in control of our lives and we can say no if we need to. We don’t have to do everything we’re asked to do. We know how much we have already, and if adding more to the “to do” list will break the bank, we can decline. Saying no is an appropriate and sensible choice when saying yes would overwhelm us. We may disappoint the person asking for our time, but agreeing to do something we don’t have time for will only set us up for failure. It’s better to wisely monitor our choices so we can accomplish the commitments we’ve made. We are in charge of our lives and our decisions. It’s fine to say no when we need to. Being proactive in our choices will help us feel more control and enable us to better manage our responsibilities. We all want to be helpful, but sometimes that means we need to take care of what we have already and decline the opportunity to do more.

Today if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all you have to do, stop for a moment and look at what you can reasonably accomplish today. Make a plan to complete those tasks and tomorrow begin again. You can do anything but you can’t do it all at once. Just take care of today. One step at a time is all you need to take. Keep moving forward and you’ll find all the success you’re seeking.

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