Archive | August, 2015

What’s Right

21 Aug

There are all kinds of people in the world, and each one has their own opinion of what is right and what is wrong.  We all determine what is best for us as we move along, and sometimes that differs from what others think.  Right and wrong, and the interpretation therein, depend on where we are, who we are, and what our values are.  There are some things we can all agree on – it’s wrong to kill others, it’s wrong to steal, and it’s wrong to cheat – but there are a lot of situations where our opinions may differ.  Only we can decide what’s right for us.  We have the responsibility to determine where our boundaries lie, and what we are willing to do.  And it needs to be our decision alone.

Some people live their lives through a grey filter.  They prefer not to define situations in black or white terms, but to be more fluid and flexible.  Even if something seems to be wrong, they may adjust their thinking to make allowances for situations, or history, or a thousand other things.  They are comfortable in a more elastic, and flexible interpretation of things.  Others of us see the world more defined.  There is a definite line between black and white, and right and wrong, and there are no excuses.  Where each of us lies, depends on a lot of factors, and only we can determine how we’re comfortable interpreting situations and facts.

When we deal with others where interpretation comes into play, if we are defined in what we believe is right, and others are more flexible, there may be conflict.  Everyone believes their views are correct, and as such, there will be differences.  It isn’t always easy to accept someone else’s viewpoint if it’s diametrically opposed to ours.  We may not be able to understand it at all, but we can listen and be considerate, we can voice our opinion patiently and without ire, and we can accept that there is a difference that may not be resolved.  But we need not give up our position.  We may compromise if that’s workable but we should always do what we feel is right for us.  It’s not wrong to hold onto our opinion.  We are entitled to it, and it’s just as important as anyone else’s.

Today if you feel pressure to conform to an opinion or decision you do not agree with, be considerate and kind, and hold fast to what’s right for you.  You are entitled to live your life according to your own personal beliefs and viewpoints, and your opinion is important.  Be courageous in stating your case, be polite in listening to others, compromise if that’s possible, but hold firm to what’s important to you.  You are valuable just as you are, and your influence is valuable too.

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Under the Influence

20 Aug

Every day as we go about our lives, we are exposed to other people. We may talk with them, spend time with them, and get to know them. As we share our lives, we learn things about each other, and we have the opportunity to exchange ideas. They will learn from us, and we will learn from them. What we learn depends on our relationship with them, their authority over us, our respect for them, and how they live their lives. If they are people we admire, we will appreciate their influence, and may try to emulate them. And the same is true for them. If they admire us, they will appreciate us, and may adopt some of our behaviors and actions.

We are responsible for everything we do, and we must answer for every action, both positive and negative. That responsibility includes how our behaviors affect others. If we are rude and mean, and negatively impact someone else, we will answer for that. Defending bad behavior, saying we learned it from our families, or we are just giving back what we’ve been given, will not excuse us from hurting others. There is no excuse that will take away hurt feelings. However, if we are kind and patient, and lift those around us, we will answer for those attributes as well. We rarely, if ever, receive any blessings in our lives when we are badly behaved. When we hurt others through commission or omission, it does not elevate us. If this is a pattern in our personalities, the chances for personal growth and development will be hindered. But if we are kind and gracious, if we are patient and helpful, rewarding blessings will return to us.

When we are considerate to those around us, they are often considerate to us in return. If those we interact with come to know us as patient and caring, and as someone they can trust, we are more likely to build strong relationships that are positive. Because everything we do affects those around us, it’s important to remember that although we have the right to live our lives any way we see fit, almost everything we do will impact someone near us. We can be the ones who set the standard for kindness, who wait a little longer and are a bit more patient, and who offer encouragement instead of criticism. If we do these things, those around us will find comfort in their relationships with us. There is already enough suffering in the world. We can do our part to ensure we don’t increase it by being kind, caring, patient, and loving, and making sure our influence is positive.

Today take care and pay attention to your behavior when you interact with others. Remember to be patient and show you care so that those around you will learn they can trust you, and be comfortable with you. Be kind, be caring, and be supportive. You will never regret the blessings you will gain. Share the good you have to offer. It will return to you tenfold.

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Same and Different

19 Aug

When we’re headed out to a vacation we’re excited about, everything feels good.  No matter how we’re traveling to get there, we’re content because the destination is something we’re looking forward to.  The cramped seat on the plane is fine, and the long road trip seems to fly by.  We’re happy anticipating the great time we’re going to have, and no matter what we go through to get there, we handle it with patience.  We’re smiling and happy.  Nothing can dampen our spirits, and when we arrive we’re excited.  Vacations are great for renewing our spirits, and recharging our batteries.  It’s fun to look forward to them, and a blast when we’re in them.

After our vacation time ends, and it’s time to head back home we sometimes have a different experience on the return trip.  Even though the distance coming back is exactly the same as the distance we traveled to get to our vacation, it seems longer.  The seat on the plane feels uncomfortable, the flight seems to last forever, and we may be tired and cranky.  If we’re in a car and have a long drive ahead of us, we may dread the interminable miles, the gas station stops, and the boredom of the road.  The trip home is merely the reverse of the trip out.  The distance is no longer and no farther away, but instead of being happy and excited as the miles fly by, we may just be grinding through it.

The two trips – going and coming back – are basically the same.  But our perception is completely different, and that difference changes how we react.  It’s the same with our experiences in life.  When we’re involved with something new we want to do, we feel energized and happy.  But when we’re in the same routine day after day, we may feel uninspired or bored.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Every single day has within it opportunities to learn new things, meet new people, and do different activities.  It’s always rewarding to break away from the norm and do different things, and we can do that every day if we decide to.  It doesn’t have to be a formal vacation to make us excited and happy, although those are great.  We can be excited and happy in our daily lives as well.  It’s all about our perspective.  If we see each day as a beginning and a time to try something new, we can make our lives fun and exciting.  We can be excited every day at the prospect of opening new challenges, going through new doors, and experiencing new ideas.

Today, if you’re feeling like your life has become too predictable and you yearn for more fun and excitement, change things up.  Do something new.  Try something you’ve been thinking about, and plan a little vacation from your routine.  Break away from the norm.  You’ll feel more energized, and you’ll have more fun if you do.  There are countless opportunities available to you.  Find the fun and excitement of trying them.  Today is your gift to yourself.  Explore, reach out, expand, and have a blast.  There’s no time like the present to start having fun.

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New Shoes

18 Aug

We go through a lot of changes in our lives as the years fly by. Some of them are small and easy to navigate, and some of them impact us in deeper ways. If we’ve lost a loved one, had a dramatic shift in our career, or had to adjust to a big lifestyle change, it may take us a long time to adjust to our new reality. Like wearing new shoes that pinch, we know that eventually everything will stretch and we’ll feel better, but as we’re going through the adjustment, it’s difficult. We may feel lost, and out of our element. We may need support, and even then it may take a while before we regain our footing.

Change is normal, and happens every day. But practicing with small things doesn’t necessarily mean that when big changes come we are ready for them. Sometimes we’re surprised and shocked by a new development, but even if we know something is coming, it may still be hard to navigate. We get used to our lives going a certain way, and feel comfortable. When a ringer is thrown into the mix and everything is shaken up, it’s hard to figure things out right away. Sometimes it’s hard to understand what to do, and how to go forward.

They say that time heals all wounds, and in some ways that’s true. If we give ourselves time to adjust, time to find a new way through, and time to find our path, it will help. When we are facing big adjustments, we don’t need to rush. We need to give ourselves space, time, and patience. There are feelings and emotions involved we need to work out. Sometimes there are physical things that must be explored and defined. It’s like a pendulum – if the change is small, the adjustment is short, and if the change is big, the adjustment takes longer. The greater the change, the more time we’ll need. It’s important to give ourselves all the time it takes. Just like stretching out a new pair of shoes, it doesn’t happen the first time we wear them. We have to work on them little by little.

Today if you’re trying to adjust to a big change in your life, take your time. Give yourself patience, and room to figure things out. There is no need to rush. You will find your footing again, and you will know how to go forward. Give yourself the space you need. You will conquer this, and you will find comfort. One step at time is all you need to do. One step at a time and you’ll get there.

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The Other Way

17 Aug

When those close to us have problems with others, they may decide to change the dynamic of their relationships. Of course, they may do whatever works for them, but sometimes they pull us into the situation. If they decide they no longer want to be friends with someone, they may tell us not to befriend them anymore as well. If they want to control the situation, they may tell us not to contact the other party. These requests may put us in an awkward situation, and we may feel unprepared to comply with them, or think it’s inappropriate for us. Some feel that because we’re close to them we need to follow their lead with changes they decide for others in the circle. But that’s not true. We need not do anything just because someone else is doing it. We can choose for ourselves.

Relationship dynamics can be complex. We can be friends with lots of different people and each relationship is different. We can choose who we want to spend time with, who we want to talk to, and who we want to get close to. The relationships we build are ours. If someone else doesn’t want to be involved with someone we share our lives with, they may make that choice. But if they ask us to sever our ties with them over an issue they’re having, it can be uncomfortable. Continuing a relationship after someone close to us has asked us to stop does not mean we don’t care about them. Going our own way doesn’t mean we aren’t loyal. It just means we are making our own choices.  And we are always entitled to make our own choices.

When we face situations like these, we may feel pressure to comply. It’s normal to want to do things for those we care about, but it doesn’t mean we have to follow them blindly. We don’t have to agree with every decision they make. Their decisions are theirs, and they own them. And we own our decisions. We are free to decide what we want to do even if it’s the complete opposite of what is being asked. We can choose how our relationships roll forward on our own. We don’t have to go along, we don’t have to agree, and we don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right. We can politely, and patiently decline. We can express our concern and care for the person involved, but calmly and quietly make our own choices.

Today if you’re being asked or pressured to end or change a relationship with someone in your circle because of a problem with others, you may choose what is best for you. You don’t have to go along with the request if it’s not the best decision for you. No matter how close you are to the person asking, you can make your own choice. Your relationships are yours to manage. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, you can go forward your own way. Be strong. You know what’s best for you. Stick to that, and be true to yourself.

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