Tag Archives: Mistake

Doubling Down

22 Aug

Everyone makes their own decisions about what they want to do.  We choose the paths we want to follow and each moment of each day decide how to proceed. We have complete power over how we live our lives and each decision we make defines who we are and what we stand for.  Sometimes we may make choices that aren’t in our best interest but because of circumstance or personal desire we make them anyway.  If they are in direct contradiction with what we say we stand for there will be a disconnect.  We don’t need anyone’s permission to do anything but if we say one thing and do another there will likely be conflict.  There is no way to justify condemning something someone else does and then say it’s different if we decide to do the same thing.  A change in players doesn’t change the act.  We may believe that because we are smarter or older, or somehow wiser, we can get away with doing something we disapprove of in others, but it’s impossible to be honest and authentic by playing both sides of the story.   We can make any excuse we want, double down on our reasons, and try to explain the hypocrisy away but that will never change the facts.  We can say anything we want but who we really are is reflected not in what we say, but in what we do.  If we want to be completely honest in all our dealings we must reconcile any issues where there is contradiction between our words and our actions.  We can’t expect anyone to trust us if we aren’t true to who we say we are.  The choices we make create the lives we have.  We can live in ways that bring us trust from those around us and be confident in choosing wisely in ways that take us where we really want to go.

There is an old story of a man who asked his neighbor if he could borrow his axe.  The neighbor said no, and the man asked him why not.  The neighbor told him he couldn’t lend the axe because he was making soup.  Confused, the man asked what making soup had to do with borrowing an axe and the neighbor replied, “Nothing, but if I don’t want to lend you my axe, one excuse is as good as another.”  When we make choices that are contradictory we can give any excuse we like.  In the end, the only thing others will remember is what we did – not the reason or excuse we gave for doing it.  Honesty always brings confidence, and that confidence will bring us happiness.

If we’ve made a mistake in judgement and done something that damages our credibility, we can turn around and correct the way forward.  Owning our decisions and doing what is needed to repair what we’ve damaged will pave the road ahead and help us mend any broken connections.  We have unlimited opportunities before us and with wisdom and patience we will find the right road.

Today if you’ve made a decision that contradicts who you really are, turn around and start again.  You can change anything necessary to correct your way forward.  Be careful and wise, and be who you really are.  You have so much to offer and we need your influence.   Be confident and show us your best.  Every success is there for you and you will find it.

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No Eraser

2 May

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”  John W. Gardner

Everything in our lives is continually changing. The situations we face today will be different than what we’ll face tomorrow. Some days are easy and full of fun, and other days are more complicated and try our patience. We can’t control most of what comes to us, but we always have control over how we react and what we do. We can do anything we like but once we’ve done it, it becomes a permanent part of our lives. There is no way to go backward and change something in our history whether it happened years or moments ago. Everything we do will be there forever. There is no re-do option, there is no way to rewind, and there is no eraser. Knowing that, the best we can do is think about our choices before we make them so we make the best decisions possible. If we react quickly to a situation without thinking we may create more complications and problems. Instead of simply reacting and jumping to an answer we can choose to step back for a moment and find a way forward that will bring true resolution. No matter what we do our choice will stay with us from that point forward. We always have the opportunity to change our direction if we’ve chosen the wrong path and to amend our decisions if we’ve chosen what doesn’t work. What’s done is done and will remain but we can modify our way forward and re-direct our course.

If we’ve made bad decisions in the past and have been continually reminded of them, we may believe we won’t ever be able to move forward. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes those mistakes have far reaching consequences. When that happens, we may struggle trying to untangle what we’ve created and our confidence may suffer. If we’ve made a mess, we can clean it up. If we’ve chosen badly, we can choose another way. Although we can’t change the past, the future is wide open and ready for any decisions we desire. Nothing can stop us from being successful and finding the right road going forward.

Guilt and shame are heavy burdens to carry. They grow heavier if we’ve negatively impacted not only our lives, but the lives of those around us. When we feel bad about choices we’ve made, when we’ve hurt ourselves and those around us, we may believe we will never be able to fix the mess we’ve created. But life is fluid and every day brings the opportunity for change. There isn’t any problem too difficult for us to solve and we can find the right road when we’re ready. Success is always there for us and we can find it.

Today if you’re dealing with complications from a decision you’ve made and aren’t sure how to go forward, take your time and think about what you really want. What’s done is done and if you need to re-route your way forward you can. There are lots of roads available to you. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Decide what you want most and plan your way forward. You have everything you need to be successful.

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Wet Snow

28 Nov

The snow in winter can be a beautiful sight. The first snow of the season often brings excitement and wonder, and the new covering of white makes everything seem magical. It’s fun to play in and children rejoice if it’s heavy enough to close school. Every situation is unique and if the snow is powdery and dry it’s completely different than when it’s heavy and wet. If it’s dry and light we may not even leave a footprint in it as we walk along, but if it’s heavy and wet we will leave a deep impression with each step that may last a long time.  Wet snow has a long memory. If we step in it, our prints will be long lasting and defined. The wind won’t erase them, and they will remain until conditions permit them to melt away and disappear, which may not happen until spring arrives.

We can make decisions in our lives that are so dramatic and change the landscape so much they are like footprints in wet snow. They can have an impact so great that the everyday winds of our lives, our comings and goings, will not diminish their influence and we need to find ways to navigate around them. Sometimes we make extreme decisions that leave long lasting results because of situations we’re in. Other times they may be the result of anger, or impulse, or reflex. If we’ve put a lot of thought into the decision ahead of time and are sure the decision is right, even though it will have far reaching consequences, we will manage whatever comes as a result. But if we’ve plowed ahead without thought, and done something that has changed the entire landscape of our lives and we’ve made a mistake, the ramifications may remain with us for a long time.

We all make mistakes and if we make one that changes the course of our lives it will be a dramatic development that will take time to adjust to. If we’ve hurt others, we will need to do whatever is required to repair the relationship and regain their trust. If the action was so egregious that our relationship is destroyed, we may have to let go and move forward on a new road. There is no mistake so intense or far reaching that we cannot recover, but recovery might require a change in our direction, and a new focus in our lives. We may feel all is lost, and too much has changed to ever be right again, but that is never true. There isn’t anything we can’t adjust, correct, or repair if we are motivated enough. We can rebuild our lives, we can change our behavior, and we can be successful again. The snow may have been very deep and wet when we stepped in it, the print we left may be indelible for a while, but eventually the air will warm enough to smooth the edges and soften the imprint. If we work on successfully going forward, in time, the mark we left will become a memory and who we have become will be the focus.

Today if you’re coping with a mistake you’ve made, if it seems immense and you aren’t sure you can go forward, take heart. You can fix this. No matter what has happened, if you determine to make good choices going forward, you will turn this around. You haven’t lost everything. Make the best decisions today. Tomorrow do the same. Each day that passes will take you closer to where you want to be. This is just a moment. Navigate it the best you can and soon you’ll find happiness again.

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