Tag Archives: Gift

Competition

26 Aug

There are a lot of ways to find success as we navigate through our lives.  Maybe we work hard and become successful in business, or we raise strong healthy children, or we do something better than anyone else.  There are limitless ways to express excellence in our lives.  Sometimes we might feel we have to do better because we’re in competition with someone else, or want to prevail in a specific situation better than anyone has before.  The idea of competition can bring out the very best in us as we strive for more and reach higher.  There are a lot of ways to compare ourselves to the world and those around us and we may feel inspired to do more because of them.  But in reality, no matter what we do as we try to accomplish anything we are only in competition with ourselves.  If we do our very best and reach as high as we can no matter where we land in the end we have succeeded.  The world has all kinds of ways to measure success.  There are accolades galore, awards, prizes, adulation and laud to seek after.  But those mean nothing if we haven’t done our best.  And when we give our best, we win.  We win even if we don’t come in first.  We win even if we don’t get the prize.  The competition is within us at every turn and how we handle it defines the true winner.

The way the world measures success may not represent us, and the ideas of success set by other people do not define it for us.  If others determine it’s desirable to be tall we can be happy being short.  If they decide it’s better to go fast, we can be content to go at our own speed.  We define our personal success.  We can determine how our lives should look and how we want to live.  We are not defined by the measures set by those around us but by the measures we set for ourselves.  We know what we want and we know where we want to be.  Doing things our way will bring us personal satisfaction and true success.

It takes time to decide how we want to live our lives.  If we go along with what we’re told and never think about what we really want we may end up in situations that aren’t where we want to be.  Defining who we are and what we want to do is up to us.  It’s easy to go with the flow and do what makes everyone else happy.  But we deserve to have lives that reflect who we really are.  We can turn left even if everyone else is turning right.  We can choose a different path any time we like.  When we live our lives genuinely, defined by our own personal parameters we will find success no matter what we’re doing.  We are unique, impressive, and precious as we are.  We can define our own successes and measure up to our own standards.  This life is an incredible gift.  Living it our way is the best blessing we can give ourselves.

Today if you’ve been competing with others remember the real competition is within you.  You will succeed if you accomplish what’s most important to you.  Decide what makes you happy and then proceed on your own course.  You have excellence in you.  You can define what that looks like and find true happiness.

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Report Card

28 Mar

No matter where we live or who we are, there may be others around us who have ideas about how we should be living our lives. Maybe they think we should work in certain fields, or marry, or stay single, or live with the family, or a million other variations. There can be great pressure to conform if we are surrounded by others who have done things a certain way for a long time. Our lives belong to us, and we get to choose what we do. But the judgment of others may come into play. If we want to please those we love and they have strong ideas about our lives, we may go along.  And we can go along any time we choose to. But if we aren’t living genuinely and expressing who we are, we won’t find true happiness and satisfaction. The report card others have for us may be important to them, but it doesn’t mean it has to be important to us. We can set our own standards and make our own choices. It may not be easy to break a trend, but we are wise enough to know what we really want, and brave enough to get it. The only report card we need to be concerned with is the one we set for ourselves. It doesn’t matter if everyone around us wants to do things a certain way. If it doesn’t fit who we are, we may choose another road.

Some people don’t like it when others are different. They feel more comfortable when everybody looks the same, and does the same things. It may feel more secure knowing what each day will bring and how things are likely to go. In situations like that, if we try to do something different we may be judged or criticized in an effort to bring us in line with everyone else. It’s not comfortable to be judged by others, and if it’s strong enough we may try to conform. But conforming to get along will only work for a short time. Who we are will eventually need to come out or we’ll never be happy. We can do things our way, and express our differences in an appropriate manner that is respectful. We don’t have to conform. We can choose to be who we really are and if judgments come, we can navigate them.

There is no one right way to live a life. There is no perfect model, and there are countless ways to live well. There are some who believe their model is the only one that works or counts, but that’s never true. Every life that is lived genuinely and honestly is lived well. We can live in the country or the city, in a house or an apartment, with others or alone.  As long as it’s the life we choose, it’s right for us. And when we live the life that’s right for us we will find true happiness. This life is a gift. Every single day is precious and we deserve to be happy. If others want to grade us and judge us, and aren’t in agreement with our choices – it will be their burden to carry. We can be fine just being ourselves. We can set our own standards, and live according to our own dictates. We were created to be exactly who we are. When we embrace that, we will find true happiness.

Today if you feel like you’ve been trying to fit a mold that isn’t you, remember who you are is perfect. You are exactly the person you need to be. Show us your genuine and honest self. You have so much to offer. Share it with the world and we’ll love you just as you are.

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Lost and Found

24 Dec

We have all kinds of experiences in our lives, good and bad, usual and odd, and sometimes even crazy things happen to us. We form all kinds of relationships with friends, co-workers, acquaintances, lovers, would-be lovers, and family. Sometimes if we are captivated we can be pulled from our normal choices into situations where we might begin to believe things that aren’t true. If we’re really drawn to someone and want them to be special in our lives, and they lie to us or manipulate us, we may not see it, and if we do, we might even overlook it. It’s possible to get so caught up we lose our way, and we may make allowances for things we wouldn’t have tolerated before. Getting lost and caught up can make us forget who we are, what we really want, and where we want to be. It can be a confusing time if the other person continues to tell us everything we want to hear, but their actions belie everything they say.

It’s not hard to get lost when we want something very much. We can be manipulated because we want things to go a certain way. We play along when we aren’t sure, and if we feel uncertainty, we may ignore it. Even when nothing makes sense we can be willing participants in the lie because we want so badly for it to be true. But lies are not truth and never will be. Even when convincing ourselves that things are okay, there may a niggling suspicion they are not. If we’re ready we’ll pay attention to the small whisper in the back of our minds, and try to see things more clearly and objectively. However, if we’re so entrenched and deeply involved, it’s hard to see or hear anything but what we’re living.

Making personal connections is important to us. We want to feel loved and cared for, and we want others in our lives. It’s healthy to want to share our lives with those around us, but it can be destructive to believe in false situations. We may lose who we are in the process. Getting lost happens, but we can find our way back when we’re ready. If we pay attention we will find the truth. We are very perceptive and even when we don’t want to see it, we can perceive when things aren’t right, when truth isn’t being told, and when we’re headed in the wrong direction. But seeing it and changing it are two different things. If we want real happiness in our lives, we must live truthfully. If we want a real connection with someone, it needs to be honest. If we’re in relationships that don’t offer complete truth and honesty, we will get hurt. Those types of relationships never succeed over time. How long we keep them in our lives is our choice. We are in control of our decisions and no matter where we are now, if we want to change our course, we can. We deserve happiness and we deserve the very best. And we have everything we need to make sure we get it.

Today if you realize you’ve been caught up in a situation that has taken you away from who you really are, and things aren’t making sense, begin to correct your course. You know who you are, and you know what you want. You deserve complete honesty and happiness in your life. Today remember what a gift you are to the world. You are worth more than you can imagine.

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Pulling the Knife Out

5 Dec

We will all probably experience the exquisite pain of betrayal at least once in our lives. Someone we care about, or someone we thought cared about us does something that betrays our trust, our friendship, or our love. It’s a horrible feeling when it happens, and we are often caught unaware and breathless when we discover the truth. We feel like we’ve been stabbed in the back. There is no way to see it coming as someone sneaks up from behind, and plunges the dagger. Few things are as painful as betrayal. Secretly plotting against anyone or covertly doing things that will destroy others is disgraceful and despicable, and cannot be justified. Of course, those responsible have reasons they believe are sufficient for causing such pain, but there is no truth in that. Betrayal is cruel, mean, and destructive, and the pain it causes can be crippling.

If this happens, we may feel devastated and shocked. It can knock the wind out of us and leave us wondering who we can trust, and what to do going forward. It’s hard to move anywhere with a knife in our backs, so first we must remove it. Since we’re talking about an emotional wound, we don’t have to wait to yank it out. We can do it immediately by facing those who have betrayed us, and clearly and succinctly telling them we will not tolerate it. When we take that first step and stand up for what is right, we feel more power and control than if we suffer quietly. What they’ve done only diminishes them and we can maintain our high personal standards despite their actions. Speaking up at once, and pro-actively addressing the situation often leaves those involved speechless and stunned by our self-control. And that’s a win.

We can’t control what anyone does but ourselves. People can make bad choices, they can do horrible things, they can hurt others, and sometimes we’ll be the target. Even when we’re devastated, even if we feel destroyed, even if the pain is severe, we can still choose well. We can rise above the destruction, take a deep breath, and remember who we are and who we want to be. We can be noble, even if those around us are shameful. When we choose the path best for us, and behave in ways that communicate how incredible we really are, we always win. Those who take the low road, who hurt and use and betray, will never have the respect or honor that comes to those who choose well. It hurts to be betrayed. It hurts a lot. But by choosing what is right, we will heal, and in time, we’ll be happy again.

Today if you’ve been stung by the bitter pain of betrayal, remember who you are. This does not diminish you. You can manage this with grace and determination by making excellent choices. You are strong and you can handle anything that comes to you. There are so many great experiences just ahead. Keep your eyes focused on those. Learn what you can from this and then let it go. Remember you are a gift to the world. We’re all better because you’re here.

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Being a Magician

26 Jun

I recently heard a very distinguished, and professional man speak at a college graduation ceremony. He talked about his life, his accomplishments, and his motivations. He is very successful, and had a lot of stories about his failures, and how he overcame them to get where he is today. And he talked about his father. His father had been an architect – something he didn’t really choose for himself, but something his family wanted him to do. He was a good architect, and devoted to his work, but his entire life he always wanted to be a magician. He would perform magic tricks at every party he was invited to, or hosted. He told his son he was happiest when he was performing magic. The speaker talked about that, and how his father’s eyes would light up whenever he had the chance to perform even the smallest of tricks. Then he encouraged everyone in the audience to do what brought them joy instead of what was expected. “Become magicians!” he said.

As children, we all had dreams of what we would become when we grew up. We dreamed of being race car drivers, dare devils, astronauts, dancers, singers, movie stars, etc. But as we got older, and began to plan our lives, the parameters of those choices came into focus, and perhaps we chose something more settled, or more secure. Being settled, and secure are important, but if we are still dreaming of doing something else, we won’t find happiness. Being happy is something we have to give ourselves. Life won’t bring it to us. It’s our responsibility, so we should do the things that make us happy. Sometimes that means doing something different than we are doing now.

We can try to do anything we dream about. Anything we want to do is possible. The only person stopping us from changing our lives from doing what is expected, into lives we really want to live, is us. We deserve to live the lives we most want for ourselves. Are we doing what we want to do most? Are we happy doing the things we’re doing? If not, and we want to be magicians, we can be magicians. We can change course if we really want to. This life is a precious gift. Every day is precious. If we aren’t happy, we can change things. We can live a life that makes us happy.

Today if you’re feeling unhappy with the choices you’ve made, it’s not too late. You can change your course. You can change anything you like. It may take time, and planning, and you may have to rearrange things, but you can special order a better life for yourself. You can be happy. Once today is gone it will never come back. Make sure you spend it living it the way that makes you happiest. You deserve the very best. Make a plan to get it.

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