Tag Archives: Choices

Sticking

4 Sep

When we make decisions and decide we want to do something, there are times when those around us may not agree.  They might not like the decision we’re making or they may think they have a better idea.  We can certainly listen to their opinions, but if we decide the decision is right for us, we are free to hold to it.  Only we know what we want most, and where we want to go.  Others around us, even those who know us well, will never know everything we know about ourselves.  So our decisions are important.  We can make them and stick with them, even if everyone else disagrees.

Our lives are precious and each day we live we choose what we will do, where we will go, and how we will act.  It’s all up to us.  We are influenced by circumstances and those around us, but still we can decide what we’ll do.  Of course, there are some limitations due to the responsibilities we carry.  If we have a job we may not be able to go to the golf course all day.  If we have important commitments, we will have to work around them.  But even with those encumbrances, we still have a lot of freedom to make decisions.  If we are wise, and make our choices based on what’s best for us and what we want most, we will go forward the way we want to.

Everyone has opinions and those close to us sometimes feel they know better than we do what’s best for us.  There is no denying that we make mistakes in judgment from time to time, and if we’re really going the wrong way, we may be cautioned by those who care about us.  We can listen to their warnings and their advice, and if we want something nobody else can see, we can still make the decision.  We are capable of understanding our lives and where our decisions will take us.  If we falter, we’ll correct our course.  Nothing is permanent, and corrections in our direction are always possible.

Today if you’ve made a decision that others don’t agree with, listen to their comments and decide what you want to do most.  If you still believe your decision is the right path for you, stick with it.  You are able to make wise decisions, and if you make a mistake, you will correct it.   You have everything you need to go forward with confidence.  Be bold and be brave.  You can choose anything you want, and you can succeed.

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Burn Me Once

12 Jun

There is a saying, “Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.” The meaning is pretty obvious – when someone hurts us the first time, it’s on them. But if we let them hurt us a second time, it’s on us. That’s true sometimes, but not always. It’s generally more complex than this. As people, we aren’t really that predictable, and there are always complications. We can be in situations where we get hurt, but because of the relationship dynamic, we allow the person who hurt us to remain close enough to hurt us again. Sometimes it’s because they are related to us, and cutting them off isn’t really a viable option. Sometimes it’s because we love them, and have faith in them. Sometimes it’s because we have a relationship with them that’s important to our lives. And sometimes, it’s because we’re afraid to let them go.

People make mistakes all the time. I make them, and you make them. We aren’t perfect, and we falter. It’s the normal course of things as we learn. We run into problems when we make the same mistakes over and over, or we allow others to hurt us the same way again and again. Relationships aren’t always easy, and the decisions we make in them are not always black or white. Sometimes it’s unclear how we should proceed. Sometimes we aren’t sure. We don’t want to be hurt again, but we don’t know how to go forward. And sometimes it’s easier to pretend that everything is okay even when we’re not happy. The problem with pretending is that it isn’t reality, and eventually that catches up with us. When that happens, we have to face the true situation head on.

We deserve the very best from ourselves, and from those around us. We won’t always give it, or get it, but we can try to do our part. If we offend someone we care about, we need to recognize what we’ve done, and make it right. And the same is true for those around us. However, sometimes those who have offended us are not aware of our feelings. When that happens, it’s up to us to tell them what’s going on. We can do it calmly, and politely. We will get the point across more effectively if we are not angry when we have the discussion. Then if the offense happens again, if we are hurt again, we can decide if we want to continue the relationship. It’s not easy to change relationships, but it isn’t impossible. We are the ones in control of our lives. If we are getting hurt, and we do nothing, we will be unhappy. We deserve to be happy. We deserve the very best.

Today if you’re being hurt, speak up. Explain how you feel, and do your part to improve the relationship. If nothing changes, and you continue to be hurt, remember that you are valuable. You deserve to be happy. Make the best choice possible to ensure that you will be. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Give it to yourself today. You deserve it.

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The White Board

25 Apr

You know those white boards you see everywhere now? The ones with the dry erase markers that people sometimes goof up by writing on with permanent markers? At work, when a new project comes up, the meeting room we sit in to discuss it always has a white board. Generally it’s clean and ready to use, ready to record our brilliant ideas, our best plans, and all the other things that might work, or might fail as we go forward. It’s pleasing to see the clean, blank board, and it’s inspiring to think of what we’ll put on it.

What if we thought of every new day as a clean white board ready to record every thing we do that day? It’s pristine, perfectly blank, and we can decide what we want to put on it. However, we must record everything we do, so we should probably be careful about our choices. In the morning we get up, get dressed, have something to eat – we can put all that on it. Those are fairly innocuous, and don’t require much thought. But after we record those, we start making decisions. If we get angry – it goes on the board. If we are kind – it goes on the board. If we do well or if we fail – it goes on the board. At the end of the day, how will we feel when we look at all the entries we made for that day? Will we cringe at some of the decisions we now have to face? Will we feel good about the choices we made? It all depends on what we do.

The great thing about our lives is no matter what we put on the board today, before tomorrow morning comes, it’ll all be erased. The board will once again be clean and blank, and ready to record a new day. Yes, there may be some developments from the decisions we made the day before, but those decisions have already been written down and are gone. Now only our reactions, or the repercussions from them are what we will record going forward. In reality, each day of our lives is just like this. No matter what we did yesterday, or last week, last month or last year, today is a new day. We can change our course. We can make other decisions. We can choose a new path. We can eliminate things that have gone wrong in the past. We can design a new future. Every day, the board is clean, and we start again.

Today think about your white board. What will you put on it? Will you be happy when you review it later tonight? How will you change it tomorrow? Pay attention to your decisions, remembering that even though you may not really be recording them on a white board, you are definitely recording them in your life history. Choose well. We can change the future, but the past is set in stone. Make sure, as you go forward, yours looks the way you want it to.

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