As children, we learn many things. We watch and quickly understand how our behaviors bring different results. We learn what is acceptable and what is forbidden, what is ridiculed and what is praised, and we understand how to navigate all that information to get what we want. As we grow into adulthood we may carry many of the patterns we’ve learned with us and incorporate them into our lives. Some of them help us achieve the goals we desire, but some may hold us back. Childhood patterns can be powerful and even if we don’t know why something is done a certain way, we may continue it even if it no longer makes sense. There is the story of a woman who always cut up her Sunday pot roast and cooked it in two pots. When her daughter asked why she cooked it that way she said that’s the way her mother did it. The daughter then asked the grandmother and she laughed and said, “I never had a pot big enough for the whole thing!” Traditions often start out of need but over time, even when that need is no longer there, the tradition may remain. We may repeat a pattern in our lives that no longer works because it’s what we learned in the past. Keeping things the same is like using permanent ink to write our story. But life changes, and we change as we move forward. We can modify anything to find the best answers and make the best choices. There are few permanent rules that cannot be broken or changed. Our lives belong to us and we may design them any way we like. We can shake off what doesn’t work and forge a new path that is uniquely our own. When we choose the road that’s best for us and takes us where we want to go, we will find happiness and satisfaction going forward.
We may feel pressure to conform and stay within the bounds of customary patterns with those around us. Everyone has their own ideas about how life should look and what is acceptable. But we are all individuals and what is right for one may be uncomfortable for another. We can choose what is best for us even if it doesn’t fit into someone else’s model. The gifts we present to the world are unique and nobody else can give them. Our influence is important and we can share who we really are, honestly and completely.
There are many kinds of families in life. We have biological families, adopted families, work families and others. Every group has its own interpretations about how things should go. If we are comfortable with the patterns presented we may adopt them into our lives, but if we disagree we don’t have to go along. We can be who we really are and make choices that reflect our individual personalities and desires. We can find joy in being true to ourselves. There is no permanent ink to hold us in place. We can change and modify, and find happiness our own way.
Today if you’ve been following a pattern that’s holding you back, change your focus. You have a lot to offer and the world is eager to share your gifts. Be confident and go forward with courage. You are perfect just as you are and there isn’t anything you can’t do. You bring blessings to us all.
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