Archive | March, 2016

Hopeless

5 Mar

There are times in everyone’s life when we’ve wanted something badly and no matter what we’ve done or how we’ve tried, haven’t been able to achieve it. Maybe it’s taken a long time – years even – and still we feel no closer to the goal than when we started. We think about giving up but we want the dream and can’t imagine not succeeding. And so we continue. If we reach a point where we feel hopeless that we’ll ever get to the end of the road, we can feel like we’ve failed. But if we don’t want to stop trying, we can think about the situation a little differently. If we feel hopeless, we may need to stop for a moment and look at the situation objectively, and think about what we really want going forward. If we feel we’ve given all we can and need to stop pushing for now, we can do that. We can take a break from the struggle. We can rethink how we want to go forward. If we want to, we can decide to set the goal aside for a time and revisit it later when our perspective is fresh, and our lives are in a different place. Sometimes it’s all about timing. If we stop for a while, and do other things we may find a new way that will move us forward.

When we’re pushing hard for something, sometimes we lose our focus on everything else around us. We can no longer see the forest for all the trees in our way. It’s easy to get tunnel vision when we want something badly but seeing only the goal we’re seeking can keep us from seeing things around us that can move us closer to it. There may be someone standing right next to us with the answers we need but if we’re only looking ahead and not paying attention, they may walk right past us without us saying a word. There is nothing wrong with focusing on a goal, and we need to keep our eyes on where we want to go if we hope to get there. But while we’re looking forward, it’s important to look around as well. There are answers all around us. If we look up from time to time and engage those near us we may find exactly what we’re seeking.

It’s hard to be patient when we want something very badly. It’s hard to wait, and search, and press forward every day. After a time all the struggle and striving can take its toll on us. If we remember why we want to get to the goal and what it will mean to us when we achieve it, we can endure whatever comes. As we move forward we’re learning new things, and finding our way. If we need to, we can take time out to regroup, restore, or rethink. We don’t have to accomplish everything at once. We can get there taking it one step at a time. If we need to step away for a while, we can. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and sometimes a little distance can open our eyes to new direction. If we want to keep pressing forward, we can do that too. It’s all up to us and we can do whatever works best. Everyone does things their own way and whatever works best for us is perfect. It doesn’t matter if it looks different than someone else’s model, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. The important thing is doing what we want to do most.

Today if you’ve been working hard to achieve something and you feel overwhelmed or hopeless because you haven’t gotten to the goal, perhaps it’s time to take a break. You’ve come a long way already, and if you step back your vision may clear. When you start again you won’t have lost any ground. You have everything you need to win. You know what you want. You have more courage than you realize. There is nothing that will prevent you from succeeding. Nothing will stop you.

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Intertwined

4 Mar

We can do just about anything we want to in our lives. If we want to learn something new, with enough time and practice we can master whatever it is. If we want to make a change, with enough determination we can accomplish it. And if we want to achieve something, if we plan well and do all we can, we can succeed. Unfortunately we all face times when something we really want eludes us.  If everything only depended on us we might never fail, but in this life what we do and what we want often depends on the choices of others. We can try hard to change something in our lives but if others are involved and they don’t agree, we may have to alter our course for a time.  Sometimes we may have to change our plans until the situation improves. But that doesn’t mean we have to forsake the dream. It just means we may have to move in a different direction or at a different pace.

The old saying that “no man is an island” is true. We live in a world with lots of other people. We develop all kinds of relationships with them and they are intertwined throughout our lives. There are some things we do that don’t impact anyone else, but unless we’re hermits living alone on a mountain top, many of our choices will touch those around us in some way. If we’re in a work situation, the choices we make and the things we want to achieve may depend on their agreement and support. If we’re dealing with family and they don’t understand what we’re trying to do, their disapproval may hinder us. If we’re in a relationship where someone depends on us keeping things the same, we may postpone a decision we really want to make. People are complicated and every one of us has our own unique perspective on life. If we want to do something that needs the cooperation of those near us for it to succeed, and that isn’t forthcoming, we can alter our plans. We can find a way to move forward alone, and we can still succeed.

Complications often come when we’re trying to make a change in our lives. But complications are just unexpected developments. We are certainly capable of figuring out how to navigate anything that comes our way, and if our goal is important to us we will find a way around any complication. If we want something badly enough we can achieve it even without the support of those around us. Someone else’s opinion of what we’re doing is just that – their opinion. And their opinion belongs to them. We can let them own that, and continue on our course.  We can listen to their comments and if we don’t agree, we can graciously decline their advice and do what’s most important to us.

Today if you really want to make a change in your life, and there’s something you want to do, carefully weigh your options. If you can move forward and feel it’s best to proceed, begin today. If you feel you must wait until things change, make a plan for when you will start. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You’re in charge of your life and are capable of making excellent decisions. You know what you want and you know how to get it. Make a plan and make the best choices for success.

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For Real

3 Mar

When we have a goal and are eager to accomplish it, we want to get started right away and move forward quickly. We might set a time line to motivate us going forward or determine smaller intermediate goals to achieve as we move along. Steps like these help us keep our eyes on the destination and refine our focus. But sometimes in our eagerness to get the job done we set a time line that is unreasonable or intermediate goals that are too big to achieve quickly. Because we’ve set expectations that are beyond what we can successfully accomplish, odds are we’ll fail trying to reach them. Unrealistic goals can undermine our confidence very quickly. But we can re-think our plan and create another that is more workable. Life isn’t a contest. We don’t have to get everything done today or tomorrow, and there is no need to push ourselves beyond our abilities. Success comes most easily when we plan our course realistically and reasonably. Others may tell us we can do things faster, and we may think we should be able to, but if we’re wise, we’ll plan a way we can manage well, and not get overwhelmed.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we plan to accomplish it in ways that are too difficult to achieve, or too fast to succeed, failure will be the likely result. For instance, if we determine we’re too sedentary and want to get fit, we may decide to join a gym. If we’re very motivated we may determine that we’ll go to the gym every single day and work out for two hours. We want to get fit quickly and this seems like a good idea – at first. But then we start out and it’s harder than we thought to change our personal schedule to accommodate two hours every day, and two hours of exercise is far harder than we thought it would be. After a few days we quickly see our plan is too ambitious and we quit. Because we expected too much too quickly we found failure instead of success. This is a common scenario. We’ve all done it in one way or another. The best we can do when we want to change something or achieve anything is to think clearly and honestly about our capabilities and our expectations. We can and should push ourselves to achieve, but we must find balance if we want to succeed.

It seems everyone has an idea of what we should do with our lives. Some think we should do one thing, others think we should do something entirely different. If we listen to everyone’s opinion it can be confusing, but we determine how we’ll live our lives. We’re responsible for every success. We know our desires and our limitations better than anyone else. If we take the time to think about what we really want to achieve, and then realistically make a plan to obtain it, we can succeed. There is no race. There is no time limit. We don’t have to do it all in one day. We can do it the way that works best for us. Every step we take closer to the goal teaches us something new. We can adjust as we move along. We can change our plans if need be, and we can overcome every obstacle. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We know who we are and we are smart enough to create the best plan going forward.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and you keep stumbling, perhaps you need a more realistic approach. Think about your time constraints, consider your physical abilities, and modify your plan going forward so you can succeed. You have everything you need. Take it one step at a time and you’ll get there.

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Apply Here

2 Mar

There is a lot to learn in life.  We never stop learning new things and when we’re challenged by something new, it may be hard at first to completely understand it.  Learning new skills, whether they are life skills, survival skills, job skills, or others, takes our attention and focus.  But learning a new skill isn’t enough.  After we’ve figured it out, if we want it to become part of who we are going forward, we have to apply it in some way.  We can learn all kinds of new things but until we actually use them we won’t know exactly how they work.  This is clear when we’re studying math.  We learn a new theorem or formula and we understand the process of using it, but in order to fully grasp how it works, we actually have to practice using it to solve problems.  It’s the same with any skill.  What looks easy on paper isn’t always easy to implement in real life.  But with time and effort we can learn new things and apply them in our lives.

Healthy relationships don’t just happen.  We meet someone, we like them, maybe we fall in love with them, and in the bliss of infatuation think everything will go smoothly from there.  But life is complicated and things happen that make seemingly easy situations more difficult.  Even if we know what we should do to navigate them to preserve a happy relationship, putting what we know into action and applying the information isn’t always as simple as it may seem.  There are feelings to consider – something that can never be predicted exactly – and other peoples’ perceptions and decisions may enter in.  If we want to navigate the issue well, we have to take our time and think before we act.  We all want easy, perfect relationships, but unfortunately when dealing with others it’s not always easy, and perfection is something we continually strive for but rarely see.

We are capable of learning new things and new ways to handle anything that comes to us.  Something that worked in the past may not work in the future, and if we want to be successful we need to be open to learning new ideas and then applying them in our lives.  All the knowledge in the world means nothing if it’s never actually applied and experienced.  If we are open to learning new things, accepting different ways of looking at situations, and willing to work on what we’re learning and use it in our lives we will find more success and more happiness.  Life is constantly changing.  Our problems and challenges today will be different tomorrow.  We can stay ahead of the curve and manage everything if we are aware and willing to learn.  We can do anything we want to do.  None of us is frozen in time.  We can change, we can grow, we can learn, and we can be successful in all our endeavors.  There isn’t anything that is too difficult for us to accomplish once we’ve decided we will do it.

Today if you’re in situation that has you confused and you aren’t sure what to do, stop for a moment and look at things objectively.  You have all the skills you need to face anything that comes to you.  Draw on your life experience and apply everything you’ve learned so far.  You can figure out any puzzle.  You are capable and strong, and can manage anything that comes to you.  Start thinking.  The answers are already there.

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Intentions

1 Mar

There are a lot of things we all want to do in our lives. We accomplish some of them, we plan for some of them, and we let some of them go as we change. Sometimes we intend to do certain things but for reasons we didn’t plan on, can’t explain, or don’t want to explore we don’t do them. They say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are things we plan to do that will benefit us or others in some way. There is nothing wrong with having good intentions, and when we say we’ll do something most of the time we sincerely intend to do it. But there are times when because of pressure from others, or situations we aren’t quite ready to face, we might agree to something or promise something we know we’ll never actually do. Perhaps we agree because something important depends on it and we don’t want to lose that, or it will get everyone to stop asking. Or maybe we go along because it’s important to someone we love, and although we really have no intention of following through, it will buy us the time we think we need to get what we want. The road to hell is what we end up on when we continually break our word, and don’t follow through on what we’ve said we’d do. Others stop trusting us, and we lose credibility with those we care most about. If we continue doing this, we may even lose our relationships with them.

What we say is important. It gives others a view of who we could be but not necessarily who we are. Who we really are isn’t what we say, but what we actually do. Talking only goes so far and doesn’t make anything happen. If all we do is talk about what we want, and how we feel, but do nothing, and make promises we never intend to keep, eventually nobody will believe anything we say. All the beautiful words in the world don’t mean anything unless we follow them up with action. If we say we love someone but do nothing to show that love, never see them, don’t spend time with them, and are never available for them, all our professions of love, no matter how tender and beautiful, mean nothing. Our actions tell the real truth.

There are a lot of reasons why we sometimes say things and don’t follow through. Our lives are complicated, our relationships can be complicated too, and if we feel pressure to be a certain way or do certain things, even if we don’t want to, we may agree. But
when we say we’ll do something and then don’t do it, we are responsible for that decision. It may be easier to go along in the beginning, but it makes us dishonest with those around us in the end. We need to be honest in all our decisions, and we have sufficient courage to do that. We are entitled to our personal choices even if they are different than what those close to us want us to do. Our lives belong to us and we own every decision we make. We can do things our way with confidence and we can honestly say no when we need to. We can choose to live our lives with integrity and truth. When we do, we’ll step off the road to hell and onto the road to happiness. And being on the road to happiness is the best place to be.

Today if you’ve been saying you’ll do something to keep the peace or get what you want, but have no intention of following through, choose to be honest. Clear the deception and be truthful about what you want and what you’ll do. You have everything you need to be the best you can be. Today choose well. You’ll feel better and those around you will appreciate your integrity.

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