Archive | February, 2016

Burns and Scars

4 Feb

Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes we have fun and things go well, sometimes the bottom falls out and our dreams are shattered, and sometimes it’s some version in between. Nobody gets through their lives without being hurt from time to time, and when we’re really hurt and burned badly, it takes time to heal. If our dreams have gone up in smoke, if we’ve been betrayed by a loved one, or what we thought was real turns out to be a mirage, we can be devastated. Getting burned hurts. It hurts a lot and it takes time to recover. When we burn our skin, if the burn is very deep and serious, it has to heal from the bottom up. Dead cells must be removed from the top of the burn to allow it to heal more quickly and prevent scarring. The removal of that layer is often painful but necessary for recovery. When we’ve been emotionally hurt we have to do the same thing. We have to rub off the initial shock, confusion, and denial in order to get to the heart of the matter and recover. We can’t look the other way or the burn will never heal. It can be very painful to look at things completely when we’re devastated. It’s difficult to go through the process of removing obstacles to recovery, but if we do, we will be able to heal and go forward with renewed confidence.

When we’ve been hurt on the outside, after the wound heals we often develop a scar. If the wound was intense and very invasive, the scar may be large and thick. If we were only hurt a little, the scar may be smaller and smoother, but there is always a scar of some type after the wound heals. Over time scars refine and become less noticeable but they never go away. There is no way to be completely restored to our original state, and they will always be reminders of what happened to cause them. When we’re emotionally hurt and recover, we carry scars with us going forward as well. At the beginning if the scar is invasive and thick, it may keep us from making certain choices or feeling confident. Over time as we grow and change, just like the scars on the outside, the scars on the inside will refine. They will never go away completely, and we’ll always remember what caused them. But they will smooth out and we’ll find ways around them. Scars aren’t bad. They help us remember where we’ve been, and they need not hold us back. We can learn all we can from the experience and as we heal we can move forward.

As years pass, our appearances change through the normal course of aging. The laughter or sadness we’ve experienced show in lines on our faces. Our bodies show the wear and tear of life, and all the scars from all the injuries, large and small, we’ve endured. The lines, wrinkles, and scars are proof that we’ve lived our lives. We will never be the perfect beings we were when we arrived here, and everything that leaves a mark is a testament of our courage and endurance. We are going to get burned, in more ways than one, and we’ll carry the scars from those burns until we die. They are proof of how strong we are and what we’ve overcome. This life is challenging. There is a lot to learn. Sometimes we’re going to be hurt but there is nothing we can’t overcome. We will carry the marks, the lines, and the scars forward, but we will also carry the knowledge of what we’ve learned. And learning is what it’s all about.

Today if you’ve been burned by something that has hurt you deeply, you will recover. You will find your way through and you’ll carry the experience with you going forward, and it will not hold you back. You are courageous and strong. Be confident. You can do anything and you will succeed.

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Choice or Chance

3 Feb

Lots of things happen to us in life. Some of them are planned for and expected, others are surprises, both good and bad. We make a lot of choices that work out, and some that don’t, and sometimes we take a chance that something we want will happen without us doing anything. The only thing we can really control is ourselves and the choices we make. If we’re proactive we’ll make important choices before they need to happen, or at least try to. But if we put them off, sometimes we take a chance that things will work out anyway. We can make choices or we can leave things up to chance. If we don’t take control of our lives, life will take control of them for us. Nobody knows what’s best for us better than we do. It seems therefore that the best course of action is to ensure we’re involved in decisions that impact us. If we just let things happen and do nothing to direct our lives, we may find ourselves in places we didn’t want to go, doing things we don’t want to do.

Making good choices takes time and thought. The big choices like where we’ll live, what we’ll do, who we’ll spend our lives with, and where we’ll go, are up to us to decide. We can create our lives any way we want them. If we don’t like cold weather, we can choose to live in a warm climate. If we hate office work but need a job, we can choose something we enjoy. If we’re in relationships that aren’t working we can change them. No matter what we need to be happy, we can make choices that will bring it to us. We know what we want, and we know who we are. We know what we need to feel successful and confident. It’s important that we do what is necessary to make choices that will enable us to gain everything that makes our lives the way we want them.

Some people have trouble directing their lives and instead just go with the flow. There is nothing wrong with being spontaneous and we don’t have to plan everything, but if we aren’t in control of where we’re going, somebody or something else is. If several influences are involved we may end up doing things we don’t want to do. Our lives belong to us. If we leave our direction up to chance it might be easier for the moment, but in the end the lives we end up with may not be the lives we most want. Only we know what we want the most and unless we determine to make it happen, chances are we’ll never succeed. We have enough courage and wisdom to direct our lives and make whatever choices we need to be happy. Once we decide where we want to go and what we want to do, nothing can stop us. But we have to decide. We can do that. And when we do, the control we feel over our lives will give us the confidence we need to go forward and get to any destination we choose.

Today if you’ve been leaving your decisions up to chance, or letting others decide for you, think about what you really want. You can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do. You’re in charge of your life and you deserve to get everything out of it you desire. Take charge today. Set your path and start moving toward your goals. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are amazing and capable. Decide what you want, and then go get it.

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Easy Way Out

2 Feb

Life is complicated and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that aren’t working for us and we want to change. We’re in charge of our lives and can change anything we wish, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to make changes, especially when others are involved. For instance, if we’re in a relationship that isn’t working and we no longer want to continue. The best we can do is to be honest and upfront, and tell the other person how we feel and that we want to move on in another direction. But sometimes we may think that’s too difficult, so instead we dodge them, stand them up for dates we’ve made, or don’t answer their calls. If we do that, we figure eventually they’ll get the idea and we’ll have made our exit without the uncomfortable conversation. We might think that’s the easy way out, but really it’s just the coward’s way out, and we can all do better than that. In most situations when we need to make a definite change, there really is no easy way out. If we want to handle it well, we have to be courageous and honest enough to state our feelings clearly, and then move forward on a new road.

Nobody wants to hurt others. We don’t want to make people feel bad, and we never want to be the bad guy. But if we need a change, and if we aren’t honest about it we have only two other options. We can continue to pretend that everything is fine, which never works over time, or we can try to find an easy way out, which often hurts everyone more in the end. We all have sufficient courage to stand up for what is right, and be honest. If the situation has been going on for a long time it will be harder than if it’s been a brief interchange. But long or short, if it has to change, we need to be open enough to make that happen. If we clearly, and openly express our feelings and explain what we want going forward, the other person may be hurt, but they will respect our honesty. They may not like what we have to say, but they will understand our decision.

Many of us are resistant to change. When things stay the same we know what to expect and that makes us comfortable. But we deserve to be happy, and if we aren’t happy with the way our lives are going we can make whatever changes are needed to bring happiness to us. It may be uncomfortable to initiate the change, and feel awkward at first while we set up new patterns, and decide on a new course, but if the end result is personal happiness, it’s worth whatever it takes. Change is a normal part of life. We all experience it every day. Life is fluid and the only thing we can really count on is that whatever we’re going through today will change at some point. If we decide we need to, we can make that change come sooner rather than later. This life is a gift. We only get one chance to live each day. It’s not worth wasting a single moment in a situation that makes us unhappy. We are in control of our lives and we can design them any way we want to. We have all the courage we need to correct any situation we’re in.

Today if you’re unhappy with a situation in your life, you can change it. Be honest and open about how you feel and what you want going forward. Asking for what you want doesn’t make you the bad guy. You deserve every happiness. Your life is precious. Don’t waste another moment being unhappy. Change what needs to be changed, and you’ll find the peace and comfort you deserve.

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Shortcuts

1 Feb

When we’re going places and we want to save time, sometimes we try shortcuts we think will help. They might help us avoid traffic, or cut the distance down to get us to our destination more quickly. They’re great when they work, but sometimes the shortcuts become complications instead. When that happens it’s frustrating and can cost us more time than the direct route would have. Our brilliant shortcut can turn into a headache. Our lives are like that sometimes. We know where we want to go and we have the road mapped out but then think we can find a way to cut some of the time out by eliminating a step or two, or going a different way. Sometimes it works, but many times it ends up costing us more time and aggravation than we planned on. It’s like get rich schemes. They look good at first and we get excited thinking about how quickly they’ll get us what we want, but often they end up costing us more time and money in the long run. We can’t see that going in, and unless we stop to think about what will happen if we don’t get rich quick, we can lose more than we bargained for.

Every destination has a road leading to it. We can go anywhere we want to go and sometimes we go on long journeys that take a lot of time and commitment. But the most important things we want to accomplish in our lives rarely come quickly. They take effort, planning, and diligence. We have to be willing to stay true when the inevitable complications come, and be strong enough to keep going. If we want the goal badly enough, nothing will take us from our course. But we might be distracted by a shortcut. For instance, we might think we don’t have to finish a degree to get that job, and try to learn the skills needed more quickly in another way. Or maybe we think we don’t have to earn a promotion by working hard for the next year, and instead try to befriend those in position to grant it. There are all kinds of scenarios we can think up. But in reality, short cuts for what we really want rarely work. Additionally, they take our focus off the plans we’ve already made. If we get distracted trying a different route, we can’t go further down the road that’s proven to get us there.

It takes patience to accomplish big goals. We can’t expect to achieve anything of value overnight. There are no get rich schemes that always work. If we really want something and there is a proven and sure way to get to it, even if it takes time, it’s worth the investment. We can spend our lives like bees in a field of flowers, flitting from one idea to the next, one path to another, and continually try to cut corners and find shortcuts. If we do, we may find precious time goes by and we have moved no closer to the goal. However, if we focus on one road, and keep our eyes trained on the destination we will succeed. It’s like the old story of the tortoise and the hare and the race they ran against each other.  As you may recall when the race began the hare took off and rocketed ahead, while the tortoise slowly began plodding along toward the finish line. The hare got distracted running here and there and jumping all over, and was way faster than the tortoise, but the tortoise never left the path to the destination. He slowly continued forward never taking his eyes from the goal. And we all know that’s exactly how he won. That’s how we’ll win too. We don’t need a shortcut to succeed. If we set the goal, make a plan, and diligently keep to the road that will take us there, we will not fail.

Today if you’ve got a goal in sight and are considering changing your plan and trying a shortcut, make sure it’s something that will continue to move you forward. There is no rush, and you can take the time you need to achieve whatever you want. There is nothing that will stop you if you keep your eyes on the goal. Keep moving forward. You will be successful and every moment you invest in gaining that success will be well spent.

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