5 Nov

Every day we live is a chance to experience joy and do something to move us closer to where we want to be. We are in control of our days and the choices we make. When we choose well, we are content, but sometimes things don’t go exactly the way we want them to. Imagine you are holding one chopstick that represents your day today. As long as you hold onto it you’re in control and you can do anything you want. But if you give it away to someone else, they will be in charge for the day. We all want to be in control of our days, so it seems foolish to hand them over to anyone else. But if we let the hurt or pain caused by someone else control us, that is exactly what we do. We give our day away. While it’s true that some wounds don’t heal right away, each day we let the disappointment, pain, fear, or anger control our lives, we give that day to the person or situation that caused it. And the irony is that those who have hurt us usually have no idea they have control.

Pain is a part of life. We can’t prevent it, we can’t escape it, we can only process it and move through it. If we lived alone on an isolated, deserted island, everything would be in our control. But we live with others, and their decisions, for better or worse, affect our lives. We bump into each other, we annoy each other, and we sometimes hurt each other. Of course, we also love each other, we share joy, and we embellish each others’ lives. It’s a mixed bag. When we get hurt, and don’t heal right away, we grieve until we’re able to move on. That’s normal. But if we let the hurt define our lives, if we let it keep us from moving forward, and are unable to let it go, we give our lives away to it. Our lives are important. They count. We have a lot to offer. Losing even one day is a great loss.

Getting over serious pain or disappointment isn’t easy. It takes work, and it takes time. How much time it takes depends on a lot of factors. Only we can decide when to let it go and begin to move forward. We can hold onto it for as long as we like but each day we do, we have to symbolically give up our chopstick, and the control over our lives. In some situations it takes considerable time to process everything, and not having control isn’t an issue. But in time, if we want to be happy again, if we want to move forward, we will have to heal and take control again. Life can be complicated. It can extremely joyful, or desperately sad. Nobody knows what each day will bring, but we can face whatever comes. We can overcome any disappointment, any disaster, and any loss. And when we’re ready, we can recover and guide our lives to where we most want to be.

Today if you’ve been struggling with something that has been so difficult you’ve been stopped in your tracks, think about the way forward. You have so much to offer. Take the first step in regaining your control. Own your day today. Hang on tight. Lift your head and look forward. There is a road waiting for you. You have everything you need to get to it, and by taking the very first step you’ll find your way back to happiness again.

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