Tag Archives: Rude

Creating A Label

8 Dec

The world is filled with different people, different ideas, different choices and endless variety.  No two people are exactly the same and what one values, another may not even consider.  There is no one right way to live life.  We all get to decide what we want and who we will be.  Our expressions are unique to each of us, and we all offer specific gifts nobody else could give.  It can be hard to accept an idea that is far from what we understand.  It’s hard to wrap our heads around the complete opposite of what we believe.  But everyone is entitled to their own viewpoints and their own decisions.  Nobody needs permission or agreement to live any way they like.  Some people believe their way of doing things is the only right way.  They may label other people’s choices as stupid or wrong, or call them names because they are different and do not comply with their own ideas.  They may cruelly mimic the way they speak, or walk, or act.  Everyone is different and that will never change. Degrading someone or criticizing them because they believe differently or aren’t like us will only bring darkness and pain. We’re all valuable.  We’re all important, and we all count.  By choosing to be open and accepting, and honoring everyone’s right to choose whatever they like, we will bring great richness and depth to our lives.  We have so much to offer.  We can share who we are, and allow others to share themselves with us.  Life is an incredible blessing and with wisdom and honor, we can live it well, and make the most of it.

There are a lot of people with loud voices and big megaphones. He hear them on the news, we read about them, and they are insistent in their positions and opinions. Opinions are great, but they are only important to those who hold them.  Nobody’s thoughts or ideas are more valuable than anyone else’s.  We all have great worth, and so much to share.  Being loud is not the same as being right.  It’s just sound.  We can decide what is right for us and choose our own way, even if it doesn’t align with those around us.  

We hear all kinds of labels that are derogatory and critical.  They signify different groups of people, different genders, age groups etc.  Nothing good ever comes from using offensive labels to describe anyone. We can have our own opinions and should stand up for what we think is right, but degrading those who disagree will never move us forward.  Our lives are ours to design.  We can choose harmony, respect and grace, and when we do we’ll gain peace and increased happiness.

Today if you’ve been criticizing someone or some group because they are different and don’t hold the same values as you, stop and think again.  We’re all in this together and we’re all important. Hold fast to your beliefs, and honor those who choose a different path.  Be kind and welcoming, and your life will be blessed.  You can bring great light and joy to the world.  Choose the best road forward, and every success will be yours.

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The Straw

8 Mar

Most of us are pretty resilient. We can endure challenges as they come along and find our way through. We figure out how to go forward when things get hard, and we know what we want to do. Sometimes we get into situations where those around us make us feel uncomfortable. Maybe someone continually insults us or criticizes us, or someone close to us lets us down again and again. We can put up with those things for a time, but eventually we will get to a breaking point. We finally get to that straw, the final straw that breaks the camel’s back. We all have limits, and limits by their very definition have end points. We can endure something for a time, look the other way, and take it, but at some point we will have had enough. When that happens we have to change the situation. Sometimes because we’ve let bad feelings or resentment fester, when we get to the point of no return we may lash out and say things we regret later and make the situation worse. If we can be proactive and change things before that happens we’ll be more successful in changing things. We are all entitled to speak up and state what we don’t want. If we wait, endure in silence, and get pushed too far, we may find ourselves acting in ways that don’t reflect the standards we want to keep.

Some people are rude. Some people are mean, and some people don’t care if they hurt others. We all get to choose what kind of person we want to be and for some those choices are hurtful or demeaning. We’ve all known, or had to interact with, someone who was unkind or abrasive. Every situation is different and if our dealings with them are limited we may choose to endure it and say nothing. But if we must interact with them over a period of time and each time we’re uncomfortable, we can speak up. We don’t have to be rude or unkind. We can patiently and clearly say what is offensive to us and ask them to stop doing it. That may be uncomfortable at first, but often once we’ve stated our feelings, the other person will change their behavior when they are with us. Even if they don’t change, we will have more confidence going forward because we’ve expressed our needs and know they are aware of the situation.

If we wait until the last straw when we can’t stand one more moment of the situation, we may give up our ability to control how we handle it. It’s harder to control our behavior when we’re furious or angry than it is when we’re calm and in control. If we say something the first time we’re offended, we have a better chance of being in control of the situation instead of allowing it to be in control of us. We are entitled to feel comfortable in our dealings with others and we deserve to be treated with respect. If that’s not happening we can politely express our dissatisfaction the first time we feel it. If we clearly state our boundaries and say how we feel we may turn a turbulent relationship around. If we say nothing, our only option is to suffer in silence, which gets us nowhere.

Today if you’ve been insulted or hurt by something someone did or said, talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Just speaking up will empower you. You deserve only the best of everything. When you speak up you have the best chance of getting that. You have so much to offer. Ask for the respect you deserve. You’ll feel better and your confidence will rise.

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Returning Kindness

22 Aug

Recently while driving around completing some errands, I came upon a car stopped at a green light. I could see a white haired woman at the wheel, and I waited a moment before I tapped my horn to prompt her to drive forward. I was stunned when she looked at me in the rear view mirror and furiously lifted her middle finger at me flipping me off. It was so rude, and so unexpected. While she was still looking at me, I smiled and waved. She then hit the gas and took off. I’m pretty sure she was angry at me for blowing my horn – as evidenced by her indelicate response – but I have wondered how she felt after seeing me return her insult with a smile.

People do lots of things, and sometimes they don’t make the best choices. The woman in the car didn’t need to be rude to me for tapping my horn, but that was her choice. I could have returned an insult right back to her. I could have flipped her off, or just laid on my horn to annoy her. If I had done that, all I would have accomplished was to prove I could be as rude as she was. And I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to do something better, so I returned kindness for her behavior. I have wondered what she thought of that. Did she regret her actions after seeing my smile and wave, or did she just get more angry? I will never know. What I do know is that I chose what was best for me.

Choosing what is best isn’t always easy. It’s hard to be kind to someone who is being cruel. It’s hard to return consideration when someone is being mean, and it’s hard to be polite when someone is being rude. But we make our own choices, and determine our own paths. It’s easy to give back bad behavior when we get it. It doesn’t take much energy to send the negative and nasty right back over the net, but what does that bring us? If we want to be the best we can be, we need to set our sights higher. Anyone can be rude, hateful, and mean. That’s easy. Setting the goal to return kindness in the face of those things is hard, but it defines who we are. We set our own standards, and we can decide what we’ll do. If we set them according to what’s best for us instead of where someone else has put them, we can become the people we want to be. The choice is ours.

Today if someone is rude to you, if someone is mean to you, or if someone hurts you, before you respond think about choosing kindness. Return the behavior that most defines who you are. Reach higher, and choose what is best for you. You will never regret a good decision. Today, fill your day with them and you’ll be closer to the person you really want to be.

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