Tag Archives: Lies

Smoke and Mirrors

27 Jan

It would be wonderful if everyone was honest with us and told us the truth. But there are all kinds of people in the world and sometimes that doesn’t happen.  Most people are honest most of the time, and try to choose the best path going forward. But there are some who aren’t, who don’t see any reason not to lie, and will do whatever it takes to get what they want. We can try to avoid people like that and sometimes we can, but unfortunately they look just like everyone else and sometimes we get tangled up in them before we know what’s happened. Trusting others is a noble trait and until someone gives us a reason not to trust them, it’s good to give them the benefit of the doubt. The catch is when we trust them at the beginning, if they aren’t worthy of that trust, we don’t find out until the end. And then it’s too late and we’ve already been deceived.

It’s like a game of smoke and mirrors. In a very smoky place, it’s hard to see and discern details. We can make out large forms but have to be careful where we step because we can’t see what’s in front of us. Things may appear to be one thing but upon closer inspection are something entirely different.  And we all know how mirrors may distort our vision. The best magicians in the world use them in their most amazing tricks because of their ability to bend what we see and how we see it. People who lie are like that. Some can look us in the eye and tell us something completely untrue, insisting it’s fact. Or they may convincingly make promises they have no intention of fulfilling. If what we’re being told is something we really want, or the person telling us the story is someone we love, we may believe them. As time passes and the promises don’t become reality we may question them, and try to find the truth. But if they are intent on keeping the lie, they may talk in circles and spin stories that sound reasonable to keep us on the hook. It’s confusing trying to find our way between what we’re being told and what is really happening. No matter what we ask them, if they are determined to keep the lie going, they will find an answer to keep us locked in.

Human beings are very perceptive by nature. We can discern what is real and what is false. If we get emotionally caught up in a lie, it may take us a little time, but eventually we’ll figure it out. And when we do, we must determine how to go forward. If the liar is someone very close to us who we really want to trust, even though we’re sure they aren’t being truthful, we may stay in the game. Emotional attachments can be very strong and hold us even when we know we need to let go. But we are important and deserve to be treated with complete honesty. If we remember that, we will find the right way forward. Dishonesty never brings lasting happiness. It can never make us noble or honorable. We may find immediate gratification by lying, but it will always bring us sorrow in the end. If we want real, lasting happiness, we must choose the higher road and be truthful in all things.

Today if you’ve discovered you’ve been lied to, think about your way forward. If you are the one deceiving others to get something you want, stop. You may get to your goal, but in the end it will cost the trust and respect of those you care for. Honesty is a noble choice. Strive to be your very best today, and require honesty from those near you. You are worth more than you can imagine and you deserve complete honesty in everything. Strive for that and demand it in return.

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Knowing

8 Jan

As we go through all the many experiences in our lives, we sometimes come across situations that confuse us.  Maybe we aren’t sure exactly what’s going on, or something someone says doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.  Because most of the experiences we have involve other people, and they can do anything they like even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s sometimes hard to understand situations.  Some people may pretend that things are different than they really are and try to convince us that everything is one way when in fact it’s the complete opposite.  Some people may even lie to us, and manipulate us into believing things that aren’t true.  When we’re unsure because things aren’t making sense, when we can’t believe something is happening but all the evidence points in that direction, we can feel lost.  We don’t know which way to turn.  We don’t know what to do.

When we’re confused about a situation, it’s helpful to take a step back away from it and see it more objectively.  We can more easily discern truth if our emotions aren’t involved.  When we’re tangled up and enmeshed in a situation, we may be too close to see the whole story.  If we step back just a little our vision will clear, and we may see things we couldn’t before.  People are complicated and make all kinds of decisions – both good and bad.  Their reasons are their own, and if the reason is selfish, it can hurt others.  Sometimes they don’t care if they hurt others and will continue even after they see the pain they’re causing.  And sometimes the pain is just a byproduct of what they’re trying to do.  Either way, if we’re in their crosshairs and are getting hurt, we can find out why.  We can step back and see things clearly, and then we can make the best decision going forward.

There are times when what we think is happening can be an illusion created by a situation or those involved in it.  It’s possible to be manipulated into believing things are very different than they really are.  Perhaps someone wants something from us and knows we will never give it to them unless we believe it’s for someone else so they manufacture a situation that gives that impression.  Or maybe someone wants us to do something they know we won’t agree to and make the request appear to be something entirely different.  If these things happen we can get caught going down a path we never intended to travel.  There really is no limit to what others can do or say to us.  But we can figure out the truth if we step back when we feel something isn’t right.  We can trust our instincts to know what is real, and when we’re ready, we can uncover the truth.  We will know what to do.  We have everything we need to discern the right path, and then go forward.  We can correct our course at any time, and turn back to the right direction to find peace and happiness.

Today if you feel something isn’t quite right in a situation involving you, and if you’re unsure, step back a little and see it more objectively.  Pretend you’re not involved and see everything clearly.  You’ll find the truth and you’ll know what to do.  You are insightful and wise.  You have everything you need to go forward with confidence.

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Speak Up

29 Oct

There are people in our lives that we hold dear and love very much. They may be family members, friends or intimate relationships. We value them and want to support them and care for them, and sometimes because of our intense feelings for them, we may go along with their choices even when we know they aren’t wise. Maybe they are dishonest in their dealings with others but we don’t want to upset them so we say nothing. Maybe they lie about situations or intentions, and we know they aren’t going to follow through but we look the other way. And maybe they pretend to care about something or someone in order to move forward to a goal they are seeking, when in fact they only want the goal and don’t care what they have to say or do to get it. If we love them intensely, and are afraid of their response to criticism, we may remain silent and blindly go along with them. When we don’t speak up and tell the truth, if the situation is inappropriate or dishonest and we say nothing, we enable them to continue. And if we enable a situation that is dishonest or inappropriate to continue, and we say nothing, we own part of the pain or disharmony that results.

It’s very difficult to point out possible errors in behavior to those we love. It can be very hard if it’s our spouse, our lover, or our parent. It’s hard to tell them we can’t go along with them if they are dishonest or hurtful. We love them and don’t want to hurt them, and we don’t want to damage our relationship with them. But if we say nothing, and simply let them continue doing things that are wrong or destructive, if we let them hurt others and say nothing, we become part of the problem. Most of us know when we’re hurting those around us. We know when we’re being dishonest, and we generally know who near us is aware of what we’re doing. If we watch someone we love do these things and say nothing, it gives power to the behavior to continue. We can tell ourselves it’s not our problem, and we can pretend we aren’t involved. But the fact is, if we know it’s happening, and we want what’s best for those we love, we need to address it.

We own our decisions and everything we do. We get to choose what kind of people we are and what we want in our lives. We can be dishonest, we can cheat, we can be hurtful, and unkind, and we can play along when others act out. We can keep quiet, and watch from the sidelines and not get involved. Or we can step up and choose the nobler path. We can stand up for what’s right no matter who is involved. We can defend truth, and with love, express concern over situations that are inappropriate or incorrect. Whatever we choose to do makes us who we are. If we speak up and nothing changes, we did the best we could. But if things do change, and situations improve, we may do much to prevent the pain and suffering of others. It is noble and wise to set a good example. It is worthwhile to stand up and speak when things aren’t right. We know what to do and it’s important that we are strong, and brave enough to do what’s right, even with those we love.

Today if you’ve been watching someone close to you hurt others or make decisions that are detrimental or destructive, you can say something. You can show you love them by telling them what you see. They may take your words to heart or they may ignore you. But if you speak up, you will know you did your best. Doing our best is imperative in this life. It makes us who we are, and defines our priorities. Today, show you care by speaking up and helping those you love be their best as well.

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