Tag Archives: Direct

More Than One Way

11 Sep

There are a lot of different ways to look at things.  Some people see a situation one way, others may see it completely differently.  It doesn’t mean either interpretation is wrong, but everything we see and do is colored by our perspectives and our experiences.  When we are looking for solutions to problems there are some who feel there is only one right way to solve it.  It’s hard to convince them there isn’t a paved road to their particular solution, and it can cause some conflict.  But of course, there is rarely only one solution to any problem we face.  More often there are several scenarios that will address the issue and each has its merit.  It’s important to remember that, especially during times when we feel strongly that we have the answer.

No matter where we want to go, there is more than one route and more than one mode of transportation to get us there.  We could drive, we could fly, we could walk or we could ride.  There are main highways, direct routes, back roads, detours, and endless differences in how we get to the destination.  But eventually they will all take us where we want to go.  The scenery may differ, it may take various amounts of time to travel, and our experiences while we’re in transit will be different.  But eventually we will arrive at the destination no matter how we choose to get there, or what route we take.  We understand this when we think about actually going places, but understanding it when we’re solving problems is a little different.

We all feel strongly about certain things.  Some of us take a wide view of things and are laid back with details.  Others of us are precise and prefer things to be planned exactly and predictably.  Neither method is right or wrong.  It’s just a difference in style.  When we have a problem we need to solve and others are involved, if we are strongly convinced that our method is the one true answer, it will be difficult for us to hear other ideas.  But other ideas have value, and there is much to be learned by hearing them, and understanding them.  The best solutions are found when several ideas are considered.  If we focus just on our solution and don’t hear anything else, we miss the opportunity to possibly discover something better.  We all want the best solutions, and hearing other perspectives often leads us to them.

Today if you’re working on a solution to a problem and you are sure you have the best answer, take a minute to explore other possibilities.  Listen to the other ideas presented and be open to seeing how they could work.  Look around and evaluate all the possibilities.  You have great ideas, but so do others.  Be open to them.  You want the very best solution, and that often comes from several sources.  Be creative, and embrace the possibilities.  You might discover that the perfect solution is something different than you first imagined.

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Asking For It

20 Jun

A friend of mine goes to dinner every month with several other friends. They enjoy their time together, and have known each other for many years. Their lives are busy, and their monthly dinner is the time they all look forward to catching up with each other, and renewing their friendships.

At these dinners, it’s been customary to have all the orders placed on one check, and then the total divided up evenly between them at the end of the meal. My friend has been uncomfortable with this arrangement because several people order drinks that are very expensive, and a few always order the most costly entrée on the menu. Since her tastes are minimal, and she always orders a salad, it’s been hard for her to justify the enormous expense when the bill is divided up with lobster entrees, several glasses of wine, and cocktails. But she hadn’t said anything for fear of alienating her friends.

That all changed when she joined them this last week. When they were ordering their meals at last week’s gathering, she asked the waiter to please put her order on a separate check. She was nervous about what reaction she would get but as soon as she said it, a few others in the group also asked for separate checks. She was surprised by that, but happy she had chosen what was best for her. The dinner went smoothly, and at the end the checks were given to everyone who asked for one. Nobody seemed concerned about the change in the pattern, and everything was fine. My friend wished she had said something earlier because she could have taken care of this before it became a burden for her. If she had asked for the change when it first began to bother her, she would have been more comfortable.

It is sometimes the case in our lives when something is bothering us that we don’t speak up. There are a lot of reasons why we might stay quiet, but if it’s bothering us, it’s definitely worth talking about. We can direct our lives any way we want to, and in most circumstances, we don’t have to do things the way others expect us to. We can ask for, and get a different scenario. But we won’t get anything we want unless we ask for it. All we have to do is ask. It’s a simple thing, and we are capable of it at any time. We just have to decide when it’s important to us.

Today if you’re going along with something you don’t appreciate, you may ask for a change. You may ask for what you want. You don’t have to say you’re unhappy, you don’t have to say the situation is wrong, you can just ask for what you want. If you do that, odds are better that you’ll get it. If you don’t ask, nothing will change, so you’ve got nothing to lose. Ask for what you want. You are entitled to do things your way. Today, define what that is, and ask for it. You’ll be much happier being in control of your decisions. After all, the choice is yours. Make it the one you want.

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