Day of Rest

3 May

Years ago, Sundays were different than they are today. Most stores were closed, there were few, if any, local events, and there wasn’t much to do but rest, go to church, and spend time with friends and family. It was often a day when families would gather together for Sunday dinner, and spend time catching up. It was a day when we didn’t work, and when we took things more slowly. It was a day at the end of a busy week when we rested – we took a pause. But things were different then. We were different then.

Today, virtually every mall and store is open on Sunday, and there are lots of places to go, and things to do. Some families still gather for a traditional Sunday meal, but it isn’t as common as it once was. For many of us, Sunday is just another day. We shop, we work, we go to sporting events, it’s pretty much like any other day of the week. The old fashioned day of rest now looks like all our other days. We stay busy, and resting isn’t part of the equation.

Times change. Change isn’t always bad, but it is inevitable. Sundays are different now. If we practice a religion where Sunday is set aside, we may still reserve it as a day of rest. If we don’t, we may be just as busy on Sunday as any other day. If that’s the case, when can we set aside a day to rest? In our super charged society where we are so busy all the time, where there is never enough time to get everything done, where it seems we are constantly encouraged to do more, when do we recharge? When do we take a pause to reset and rest? We know we need the time for ourselves so we can be at our best, but if we don’t purposely schedule our lives for it, it slips away, and is lost. We just keep going. The result can be that we get burned out, exhausted, and fed up.

Every day we push ourselves to do more, to be more, and to get more done. But we are human beings, we get tired, and we need to take a break. We deserve to take a break. There’s a tandem relationship between pushing forward and taking time out. The best way to get ahead is to make sure we are strong and prepared, and the best way to do that is to take time to relax. If we make the time to STOP a priority, it will make us more energetic when it’s time to go again.

Today, think about scheduling a day of rest each week. Sunday is a good day for that, but if it doesn’t work with your schedule, choose another. But make it a priority. Make it important. Put it in your smart phone, write it in your day planner, and block it out of your calendar. Set the time aside to restore yourself, to rest, to reflect, and to recharge. Maybe just spend the day doing nothing. Maybe spend time with friends or family. Whatever it takes to refresh your body and spirit – plan for it and follow through. If you do, you’ll feel better, you’ll be stronger, and your focus will be clearer. You’ll be restored and ready to face whatever comes next. Our lives are busy, and sometimes challenging. We give, and give, and give. It’s time to give to yourself. Plan for it.

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Thanks for the trouble.

2 May

It’s no secret that we’re happy when things are going well, and we’re thankful when we aren’t suffering. It’s so easy to be thankful when everything is fine. It’s easy to be grateful for the things we love. We give thanks for our good health, our families, our money, our cars, our food, our clothes, our homes, and the list goes on and on. It doesn’t take a lot of energy to be thankful when things are going well. We’re happy, and that’s all we need.

It’s a lot harder to be grateful for the problems we encounter. It’s hard to be thankful when someone hurts us, when we’re sick, when we’ve lost our jobs, when our cars break down, or when the money runs out. It’s even harder when we go through extraordinary setbacks – a home fire, a death, the loss of everything because of a natural disaster, a terminal disease. It’s very difficult to be thankful when things go horribly wrong. We’re unhappy, we’re scared, we’re unsure, and we’re lost.

If we look back on our lives at the times when we’ve grown the most, it’s not usually during the periods when everything was going well. It’s often during the very difficult times, when our patience was tested, and we were pushed nearly to the edge of what we could handle. It is during times of trial that we learn the most. All of our experiences shape our personalities and who we become, but the hard times shape us more than the easy times. There is value in the struggle.

Knowing that, shouldn’t we be thankful for those difficult times? They have taught us, molded us, shaped us, and given us a depth, and perspective that a life of ease could never provide. It’s hard to remember to be thankful when we’re suffering, but there are blessings to be had during the suffering, and we need to be mindful of those. This life is a tremendous gift. Even though we say we wish it were always easy, what we really want is to learn and grow, to become better people, to become wiser, and the problems we face are what bring us those attributes.

Today if things go wrong, if the tide seemingly turns against you, and you find yourself feeling bad, think about what you may learn. How will you navigate this difficulty, and what blessings will the experience bring you? And then, take a moment to remember to be thankful even when you’re uncomfortable. If we can be grateful for all of our experiences, both good and bad, we will gain a peace that is insurmountable. And a joy that is all encompassing. Nothing will stop us from going forward. We will smile at the end of each day, and be grateful for everything we experienced, both easy and hard. That’s the real secret to happiness. Embrace the hard times, rejoice during the easy times, and be thankful for all of them.

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Truth is Truth

1 May

My brother is very smart. He has a high IQ, and he knows a lot of things, but he’s somewhat lazy. When he was in college he took a complex class in physics, and the professor had a policy that if the students were taking an exam and could not answer a question, they could write “Truth is Truth” in that space, and enter something related to the course that had some theory of physics involved in it. Needless to say, my brother used this option a lot. He told me he figured he could learn some basic physics concepts, and use those to get through his exams. So he did that, and it worked. He passed the class. How much he really learned is anybody’s guess, but at that point learning wasn’t his focus – passing was.

Truth is truth – it’s a simple concept, and it’s correct. The truth of any situation is the basis of its existence. And yet sometimes we forget this basic concept of life. We sometimes pretend that the truth doesn’t exist. “Don’t look over there, look over here. Don’t listen to that, listen to me.” We do this when the truth is uncomfortable, or when we are having trouble facing it. We dodge, we hide, we camouflage, we ignore, and we pretend, and all of those things are effective in distracting us from the real truth of the situation. But they can never change it. It’s still there. It’s always there. Nothing can stop the truth from coming out. It can be hidden for a while, but eventually it will rise, and force us to look at it straight on.

Accepting the truth in our lives isn’t always easy. If we want something very much but for reasons out of our control cannot have it, we may convince ourselves that we can still get it. We just need to wait a little longer, be a little more patient, or try a little harder. Sometimes that works, but often it doesn’t. The trick is to figure out what we can change, and what we can’t. And once we’ve determined that, then we know the whole truth. And that’s what we must face.

There is a lot of dishonesty in the world. It seems that everyone is selling us something. It’s easy to be distracted by the glitz, the promises, and the thrall of something new. We have to be careful to look closely at the entire picture, and discern the whole truth of the situation. But there are times when we don’t want to know the truth, we don’t want to face it because it’s too hard. We don’t think we can handle it. However, whether we want to see it or not, changes nothing. It’s still there. It will not change. So the best we can do is to face it, accept it, and go forward.

Today pay attention to what you see and what you hear. Take a moment to think about it. Are you seeing the real truth, or is it a version of the truth that has been modified to fit someone’s model? Dig down. Get to the bottom of it. Truth is truth. And that never changes.

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Above the Clouds

30 Apr

One time while traveling, the city I was leaving was having horrible weather. The sky was black and dense with clouds, and it was pouring rain. The air felt heavy and oppressive. It was dark and threatening. After I boarded the plane and we were underway, we bounced through some bumpy patches, and then suddenly we were above the storm, and the sun was beaming through the windows. It was gorgeous. I looked out my window and could see the dark, black storm below us. It was amazing to look down and see what we had left behind as we sailed along ablaze in the rays of the brilliant sun. There was such a difference from where we were, to where we had gone. It was bright up there, the sky was clear and blue, and we could see for miles. Not at all like the heavy, closed in space under the storm where we had begun the journey.

Our experiences can be like that. We may be having cloudy, stormy days, everything going wrong, tension in the air, we can get confused because of the darkness, and we can’t see ahead. We feel oppressed, and the constant thrumming of the stress weighs on us. We don’t know how long the storm will last before it finally plays out. We find ourselves wishing it would just stop now. Just clear up so we can move on.

It can be difficult, but we need to keep our perspective in times like these. Yes, there are clouds, yes it’s dark and threatening, maybe our lives are not where we want them to be, maybe our decisions haven’t worked out the way we planned, maybe people are upset, and we may feel lost. It’s easy to forget that there is sunshine just above the storm. It’s up there, beaming brightly. It’s always there. It never leaves, and it never fades. It’s just slightly out of reach right now, but if we hold steady, we can ride this out, and get to the clear skies again. No storm lasts forever. Eventually it plays out, and ends.

If you’re going through something difficult, if it feels bad there in the clouds, if it’s dark, if the thunder is threatening, if the rain feels like it will never stop, take heart, it will end. It can’t last forever. It will stop in time. Soon light will shine through, and you’ll be basking in the warmth of the sun’s rays. Everything will settle. You’ll be able to see clearly again, and all the darkness will lift. Keep your eyes on that. Remember that. The sun is always shining above the clouds no matter how dense and heavy the storm is today. The sun is always there. It’s there for you. This storm will pass. Just hold on a little longer. Better days are ahead.

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Perception

29 Apr

Life is not perfect. Sometimes things go well, other times not so much. We have good days, and we have bad days, and sometimes we have boring, unremarkable days. But there are times when we have great days, and when they come everything seems terrific! Perception plays a role in our days, just like it does in everything else we do. What seems to be an unremarkable day to us, might be perfect for someone else. And the same is true about those around us. Our perceptions color what we think of them, how we feel about them, and what we say about them. It’s said that perception is reality, and that’s true. We base our realities on what we perceive them to be. We all have differing perceptions, even in the same situation. It’s how we’re made, but there is a trap we can fall into that can influence our perceptions negatively. That’s when we fall into the trap of complaining and criticizing.

Everybody knows a complainer. We all know someone that criticizes everything, and complains continually. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, who we’re with, or how things are going, they will find something about which to complain. I know an older woman who has adopted this pattern, and frankly I think she’s about perfected it. It doesn’t matter what others do for her or where they take her, there is always, without exception, something for her to complain about. If she goes out for lunch, the salad is too big. If she goes shopping, there are too many things to choose from. If she sits out on the patio, the wind chimes are too loud, or the breeze is too cold, the sun is too hot, or the chair is too hard. When dealing with her, patience helps, but after a time it’s just exhausting to hear all the complaints.

There is always another way to see things. Our lives are not all bad all the time. The same is true with finding fault and criticizing others. None of us is perfect. We all have our idiosyncrasies and foibles. But there are some who feel it is their responsibility to point those inadequacies out to whoever might be listening, and make detrimental comments about those around them such as, “Look at those shoes she’s wearing, can you believe it? Who does he think he is acting like that? She’s always sucking up to the boss. He is so into himself he can’t see anyone else!” Tons of comments like these are a continual litany for those who need to criticize. It’s hard to be around people like this. They bring everyone down. They make those around them uncomfortable with the continual criticisms, and it’s hard to have fun when they go on and on. Plus, we know the minute we are out of earshot, the comments will probably be about us!

Complaining and criticizing are things we all do. Sometimes we are annoyed or unhappy, and this gives us a way to vent. But when they become continual traits that we engage in constantly, it becomes a problem. Today when things go wrong or someone annoys you, try to remember that they are only human, and like you, they are not perfect. Try to see the other side of the situation. Try to find something positive. Remember, you can only see what they show you – there is a lot more to every story. If you give others the benefit of the doubt, you’ll feel better in the long run. After all, it’s generally nicer in the sun than it is in the clouds. Say something nice when you feel like complaining. Say something positive when you feel like criticizing. You will lift those around you with your example, and you’ll be lifted too!

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