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Fair Winds

2 Apr

Everywhere we go and everything we do is changed because we were there.  With every touch, every conversation, and every interaction, we leave a part of us behind.  It’s easy to forget that as we go through each day moving from one task to another.  We’re all sharing the planet together, and even when we think we’re on our own and alone, others see us and hear us, and their lives are changed because we are here.  There is a well know nautical blessing of “Fair winds and following seas.”  To a sailor, fair winds mean an easy and productive day, and following seas push them closer to the safety of the shore.  We can create our own fair winds through our behavior, and when we do, the following seas are the trailing benefits of what we leave behind.  If we are rude and manipulative, or angry and crass, those are the impressions that will follow us.  But if we are kind and patient, pleasant and helpful, that’s what we’ll take forward.  Trouble comes to us all.  Nobody has a life filled with only soft clover and honey. We’re going to have hard times, difficult challenges, disappointments, and sadness.  It’s the natural course of life and cannot be completely avoided.  But what we do when we have challenging times is up to us.  We can hold onto the pain, and become hard and mean, and live on turbulent seas.  Or we can walk through whatever comes and determine to heal in spite of it.  Whatever choice we make will be reflected in our actions and demeanor.

Although difficult times will come, sometimes we manufacture more problems from the way we deal, or don’t deal, with them.  If someone has hurt us, instead of seeing the issue as it is and determining to move forward anyway, we could hold onto the hurt and let it develop into anger, and feelings of revenge.  We could live our lives focused on getting back at the one who hurt us, and let the pain control us.  If we do, we may lose track of everything else and become bitter.  Bitterness will create more problems to deal with.  If we can keep our eyes on the goals we want for ourselves, and focus on who we really want to be, we can move past any pain or difficulty and retain our best attributes.  We can decide to cope with our troubles and find peace knowing we are doing the best we can.  We can impact others for good, we can be kind, and enhance the world and those around us.

Today if you’ve been angry because of something that’s happened, remember who you are.  You have a lot to offer and you deserve to be happy.  Set your sites on the goals you want for yourself and move forward with confidence.  Share the gifts you have with those around you.  Be an example of goodness and light, and you’ll have fair winds and following seas not just today, but every day going forward.

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The Plague

28 Jan

There are times we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone else. Perhaps angry words were said or exchanged, maybe somebody did something hurtful, or we simply cannot get along. People are complex and sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like. Because it’s not pleasant and we don’t like the interaction, we may decide to avoid the other person as much as possible. If we see them coming down a hall we’re walking, we may take a sharp turn to get out of their sight. If they try to talk to us, we may mumble something and walk away, or if they send us messages or leave them on our phone, we may ignore or delete them. It’s painful to be near someone who’s hurt us, or with whom we can’t get along, and avoiding them seems like a good answer. Maybe we figure if we avoid them long enough they will eventually go away. That might work, but sometimes the exact opposite occurs and they try even harder to get our attention. The whole situation is uncomfortable, but we can get through it and we don’t have to avoid them like the plague to navigate the situation. We have other options.

If the other person is at our workplace and we don’t have the option to quit our jobs and must work with them, or if they’re in our social circle and we don’t want to give that up, we have to find a solution. If the situation is so intense that we feel physically ill at the thought of dealing with them, the first step is to understand why we feel so bad. Once we determine what is actually causing our pain we can find a way to address it. If we’ve been hurt by something that was said, we can understand that just because someone says something, even if they believe it, doesn’t make it true. We know who we are and those who know us will recognize falsehood when they hear it. If it’s something that was done, we can understand that nothing is permanent and any damage can be corrected. If we peel back the onion on our pain, and determine the root causes, we can address them and begin to heal.

Some people are disagreeable no matter what we do. Maybe they have bad attitudes, or are intensely moody and negative, or are continually angry. We can’t change anyone but ourselves and if we’re forced to deal with someone like that, we can choose to be true to who we are and do our best no matter what choices they make. If we are insulted, we may calmly state we don’t appreciate the comment, let it go, and move on. If they do something that offends us, we can bring it to their attention, explain why it was offensive and ask them not to do it again. It takes effort to think about a situation before we act, but when we do we’ll have better success at keeping our standards where we want them, and remaining positive. It’s never pleasant to be hurt or offended. It makes us feel bad, and we may doubt our worth for a moment. But we have all we need to hold our heads high, say what is needed when appropriate, and be who we are despite the difficulty. We can be cheerful in the face of calamity, and positive when others are disagreeable. There is nothing that is too hard for us. We can do anything we want even if it’s difficult.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who has hurt you, or insulted you, or made you feel less than you are, stand strong. Make the best choices possible. Say what is needed to feel confident. You are a priceless gift. If someone doesn’t recognize that, it’s their loss, not yours. Set the example for good. You are worth the very best of everything.

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